Damien
by Sarah Black
Summary: FINISHED Christine has been abused by her boyfriend for seven years and when offered a job as a caretaker she goes for it. But is her boyfriend off her back for good? Odd things happen and Vampires are involved. Please R
1. chapter one

**Damien (1/?)**

  


**by Sarah Black (halla_ha@yahoo.com)**

  


**Category: Romance/Angst**

  


**Keywords: Triss Care-taker Argus uncle**

  


**Rating: R (for implied violence)**

  


**Spoilers: All the books (just to be safe)**

  


**Summary: Christine Luan has been with her boyfriend Damien for seven years, he doen't treat her well and one day she finds herself free of him. She doesn't know what to do with herself until her grandmother's brother, Argus Filch calls her and offers her a job as a care-taker in his place.**

  


**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

  


**A/N: Please don't flame me too much! I promise the next chapters wont be as angsty! (AIM: tocool2bhot lame I know...) please R & R! Thank you.**

  


  


"Triss" He said in a deadly calm voice. She knew he was about to strike her, like he had before on countless occasions. Why did she stay as his girlfriend, after seven years of taking this? If she left he'd kill her. Damien had been the best and worst thing that happened to her in her life. Her parents hadn't approved of him... she should have listened. If she had one piece of advice, it was 'you should always listen to your parents' they care about you, more than this horrible man who said he loved her... he used her. He was six years older than her when they had first met, she had been sixteen. Innocent, sweet sixteen. He had taken her innocence as well as her sense of security and reduced her to a slave, she did everything he told her. She didn't know when he'd ever be pleased. His name meant son of the devil... that wasn't true at all. He was the devil. He would hurt her every chance he got. 

  


"Triss" he said again, he had that look in his eyes. She tried to say something but it came out as a whimper and she felt the tears well up in her eyes.

  


"What was that Triss?" He asked, some sort of sadistic twinkle in his eyes.

  


"Please" she managed, but it came out a choked sob.

  


"Please what Triss" She couldn't take it anymore, she hated this. She hated how he nicknamed her Triss, it was supposed to be Christine. She hated how she couldn't move from his grasp. But what could she do? He would just hurt her if she tried to squirm away, he'd hurt her if she didn't submit. He'd hurt her if she wasn't good enough. She was never good enough.

  


"Please let me go" she sobbed.

  


"Now Triss... that wasn't the right thing to say" He raised his left hand and she closed her eyes, ready for the blow.

  


*

  


It had been weeks. Damien sometimes left on trips, for a few days sometimes a week. She had no idea of what he did on these trips. He was a Photographer, he had taken pictures of her. Sexual pictures. She had no idea of what he did with these pictures. She didn't really want to know. But this trip was different. Before he left he had confronted her and told her, that if he was away for more than three weeks, she was free to go where ever she wanted. The weeks had passed and he hadn't showed up yet. The phone rang.

  


"Hello?"

  


"Christine?"

  


"Yes, who is this?"

  


"You probably don't know me, but I am your uncle"

  


"Who?"

  


"You are my sisters grand daughter"

  


"oh"

  


"aren't you wondering why I call?"

  


"no, I'm wondering how you found me, and... why now?"

  


"I work at a school, I'm the caretaker but I'm getting to be too old for this job. I happen to know that you are without a job"

  


"You're offering me a job at a school as a caretaker?"

  


"That's right"

  


"When can I start?"

  


"I'll come get you"

  


"Wait, what's your name?"

  


"Filch, Argus Filch"

  


"oh"

  


"well, good bye"

  


"bye"

  


She hung up. This was too good to be true. A school caretaker? Well, it was more demanding than modeling for her 'boyfriend' but it was a welcome challenge. She walked over to her dresser. Her reflection stared back at her, a fading bruise on her cheek. Her dark brown hair was in a state of disarray. Gray eyes wide with wonder. Could she do it? She had never been good with children... what would she have to do? What was the pay?" She really hadn't gotten the chance to ask many questions. She had been in a bit of a shock. She took a deep breath and started packing. She could do this. She didn't need Damien. He wasn't good to her. And he had allowed her to go. She wasn't his slave anymore. She smiled. The first smile she had smiled since Damien had first stricken her. Well she had smiled for the camera. But she hadn't smiled, not like this.

  


*

  


"Uncle?" She said uncertainly. He had called her again and told her that she would be moving into the school. Apparently it was a castle, a boarding school. She was at Kings Cross train station, wearing the only thing she still had from her parents house. A long leather coat. She nicknamed it the Matrix coat. It was well worn and it was warm. Her favorite piece of clothing. Under it she wore all black. She liked black. It was her favorite color. And it matched her life. No. She was starting over. There were no dark memories in this life.

  


"Christine" He said simply. He didn't smile. He seemed scary. And he was very ugly. But Damien was much more frightening. While Argus had to use his ugly face and glare and harsh voice, Damien only had had to use his eyes. Damien could smile a winning smile and still be scary. And god knew he was handsome. No. She wasn't going to think about Damien. He was gone. Dead for all she knew. 

  


"What happened to your face?" He asked harshly.

  


She put a hand to the fading - almost gone now - bruise. Should she tell him the truth? Damien had always known when she was lying, would Argus strike her if she lied? Silly, of course he wouldn't! He wasn't like Damien. She knew that. She just wasn't ready to be normal again... would she ever be ready?

  


"Nothing... it was silly really... I walked - fell - no walked into a d-door and er... yeah" she said lamely.

  


He just narrowed his eyes at her and nodded.

  


Then he put his hand on her shoulder and started pushing her towards the wall between Platform 9 and 10.

  


"What are you doing?"

  


"Just wait"

  


She closed her eyes and waited for the impact. It didn't come. She opened her eyes and gasped. 

  


"Where... what... how?" She spluttered.

  


"We need to take this train to Hogwarts. We could have used Floo... but we aren't wizards. I'm a-a Squib and you, you are a Muggle.

  


"huh?"

  


"I'll explain better on the train. Come on"

  


I followed him without a second thought. But in her mind thousands of questions were being born

  


*

  


As she stepped off the train at Hogsmade Station was it? She felt like she was having a very strange dream. She was going to be working at a school full of 'wizard brats' as her uncle had put it. That was a really odd feeling. Would she be able to cope? She hoped so. They were walking towards a beautiful castle in silence. She knew her uncle wasn't lying, she could practically feel the magic in the air.

  


He led her through huge doors into the biggest room she had ever been in, and he proceeded to give her the longest most tiresome tour she had ever been on, sure it was interesting, but she had never walked so much in her life! Why weren't there elevators? She had nearly died when a ghost called Peeves swooped down on her and gave her a hard spank. Her uncle had gone nuts and chased him away screaming something about the Bloody Baron. Following that incident was a lecture, lasting for the rest of the tour. Finally he stopped in front of a stone gargoyle. He said something to it and it opened. There was an odd escalator up to a door, which her uncle knocked on. A very old looking man opened the door. He looked - for lack of a better word - nice. He smiled at her like they were old friends but wrinkled his brow in worry as he noticed the bruise on her cheek, he looked questionably at her uncle, her uncle just shook his head and shrugged. 

  


"Miss Luan, take a seat, please" It took her a moment to realize the nice man had been talking to her. She was used to be called 'Triss' Damien was very possessive, she had hardly talked to anyone but him for seven years. But she sat down quietly and looked at her hands in her lap. 

  


"Argus tells me he doesn't know a lot about you, why wont you tell us what you've been up to the last few years." The old man inquired.

  


"What is your name?" She asked.

  


"My name, is Albus Dumbledore"

  


"Christine, I told you his name, weren't you listening?" her uncle scolded.

  


She had no reply for that. She just looked at her lap.

  


"Argus, it's quite all right, now, Christine was it? Tell us about yourself"

  


She didn't want to lie to Dumbledore, he was very nice. But she couldn't tell them the truth. She just couldn't.

  


"I've been living with my boyfriend, Damien" She said, what else should she tell them?

  


"I do hope he doesn't live up to his name" Dumbledore said, amusement in his tone. She winced and shook her head no.

  


"Well, have you had any work?" He asked a worried tone entering his voice.

  


"I've done some modeling... for Damien... he's a Photographer" She said quietly.

  


"But nothing like this?"

  


"No. But I don't mind hard work"

  


"You wont be sleeping much, I'm afraid. The other teachers will help of course at first... and Peeves does make quite the racket if he finds a student out of bounds... where was I? Ah yes. At night you patrol the halls... if you catch a student out of bounds you give detention and deduct house points"

  


Her uncle had explained about the houses and all this stuff before so she just nodded... she wouldn't be sleeping anyway. Damien haunted her dreams, or nightmares rather. So she didn't like to fall asleep at all... but unfortunately sleep was a necessity. She voiced her thoughts, well part of her thoughts.

  


"I won't be sleeping much anyway" as soon as the words left her moth she regretted them and clamped a hand over her mouth.

  


"I didn't mean... I mean I don't..." She started, but Dumbledore didn't seem angry or offended or anything. He seemed worried and amused. 

  


"It's quite all right, quite all right my dear. Well, I think I have no reason to deny you a job here, Argus, you will help her get settled?"

  


"Of course"

  


"one more thing, wouldn't you like to meet the rest of the staff?" 

  


His question was directed at her. She nodded. She was feeling at loss for words. She had never been to a job interview before and she had a feeling she had gotten off easy. And now she was following Dumbledore somewhere. Her legs had never been so tired in her life! She felt hot and sticky and urgh! Finally they came to a halt in front of a door. She could hear people talking in the room beyond the door. She felt afraid for a second, what if they didn't like her? She took a deep breath and walked through the open door. A strict woman with square spectacles looked taken aback.

  


"_That's _your relative Argus?" She said her eyebrows sky rocketing.

  


"He's my uncle" she said not looking her in the eye. She had never had the ability to look people in the eye for long, if at all.

  


"My sisters grand daughter" her uncle added.

  


"what happened to your face?" someone said behind her, startling her very much. She turned around to see a man. He didn't look like Damien at all. But his eyes were the same. But not exactly the same... they weren't... they didn't seem to possess what Damien had... it was, yes she felt silly to think it, but she knew... that man had a conscience. She came to her senses and answered him.

  


"I walked into a door" she said unconvincingly.

  


"Really?" he said sarcastically.

  


"yes" she said in a small voice

  


"I don't believe you" he whispered so on one else could hear.

  


"Severus bring her over here and stop whispering" A tiny little man squeaked.

  


"Of course Filius" the man called Severus said silkily.

  


She walked over to the other professors and didn't notice when 'Severus' slipped out of the room. After a long tiresome evening of answering the professor's questions and learning their names she followed her uncle to her new home. She walked over to her four poster and collapsed on it. 

  


"tired?" came a cold voice from the corner of her room

  


she sat up and saw the man who had asked her about her bruise, standing in the corner of her room.

  


"what are you doing here?"

  


He regarded her from a distance, and she felt exposed in front of him. She was pretty. Maybe not traditionally beautiful, but she was nice looking. She wasn't tall, but not short she wasn't skinny but she wasn't fat, she vas voluptuous but not too much... she wasn't good at describing herself. She loved her eyes though. They reminded her of sea mist or storm clouds, with a more silvery color around her pupils. 

  


"I came to talk to Argus" He said finally after a long pause.

  


"I think he's in his office..." she trailed off, he left before she could finish.

  


"I wonder what he wants with my uncle..." she mused out loud. Then - no matter her feet hurting - she followed him. He walked quickly and his cloak slithered behind him, so all she could hear was the soft material making contact with the ground. They finally arrived at her uncle's office, she waited outside and listened to them through the - luckily - half open door.

  


"Argus, what are you thinking?" demanded Severus.

  


"nice to see you too Severus" her uncle sounded a bit miffed.

  


"Why are you leaving?"

  


"I'm getting too old, I wont live much longer"

  


"Well, couldn't you at least give the care-taking job to someone who knows which end of a broomstick goes up?"

  


"She's my relative Severus"

  


"yes, yes I know! But why?" Severus was sounding annoyed to say the least.

  


"Dumbledore wanted to get someone who we could trust" he sounded very stern.

  


"But honestly, how much do you really know about the girl?"

  


"Not much actually..." admitted her uncle. "she left her parents house at the age of sixteen for some man, and it was by chance that I saw her and recognized her! She actually looks quite a lot like my sister, her grandmother"

  


She gasped, he had just noticed her on the street? Well so much for her theories of him finding her using some secret service...

  


"Really. Some man?"

  


"Yes, I suspect she's been through quite a lot, that bruise on her face... I bet you a hundred galleons it was that blokes work." growled her uncle, she felt a lot of things, glad maybe, that he was worrying about her, no one had worried for her since her parents, she also felt afraid, was she that easy to read? 

  


"I don't know, what if she's just a clumsy and silly girl?"

  


"Severus." her uncle barked, she felt touched, him defending her honor... she felt tears prickle at her now closed eyelids. It had been so long. So long since someone had cared.

  


"sorry, Argus... but are you sure?"

  


"Of course I am. And I want _you _to look out for her. I'll be staying a day or two, showing her around, teaching her what to do and how to do it, but after that, she'll be in your hands, I don't know how she copes with children..." her uncle chuckled. She guessed it was because of Severus because he had started spluttering, sounding quite shocked. She could only imagine the look on his face.

  


"But-bu... I can't... I'm t-too busy I don't have time for some stupid-"

  


"Severus!" her uncle sounded frustrated.

  


"Argus, please" 

  


"Severus, I'm asking you as a friend. Please do this for an old man"

  


She could here a sigh and she presumed Severus had nodded because of what her uncle said next.

  


"Thank you, now I have to get some sleep, and I suggest the same for you, you look tired."

  


"Yes, yes you're right, good night."

  


She hurried away from the door and ran around the corner as quietly as she could manage. She was too tired... and she was too lost! She hadn't been watching where she'd been going before and despite the tour earlier that day she was still quite unused to the castle. She took a almost screamed as Peeves appeared in front of her.

  


"Who are you? A student perhaps?" Peeves cackled.

  


"no" she heard herself say, she was a bit afraid of Peeves

  


"A teacher?" the ghost said in an annoying sing song voice, then he started to circle her, making her dizzy.

  


"no... I, I'm the new care-taker..."

  


Peeves fell out of the air looking quite sad, an expression which made him look very odd.

  


"Filch is going?" he said disbelievingly.

  


"yes, why are you so sad about it?" she said delicately.

  


"I'm not sad" the ghost said. But somehow she didn't believe him, he looked as if he were about to cry.

  


"of course you aren't sad" she said mockingly.

  


"Filch can't leave! Who am I to irritate?" Peeves had started circling again, but thankfully not around her.

  


"Well there's always me" she said knowing this could be a mistake, but she didn't want the funny poltergeist to be sad.

  


"It's not the same" he wailed.

  


"shhh" she hissed, she was starting to be very aware of the fact that Severus was lurking somewhere around there. But hissing at Peeves was definitely not a good idea, if anything he was wailing louder than ever! And of course Severus showed up a minute later, she froze and tried her best not to look terribly guilty, but after years of being obedient and not really doing anything worth guilt (Damien managed to make her feel guilty anyway) she just didn't know how to hide it.

  


He narrowed his eyes at her but turned his attention to Peeves.

  


"Peeves will you shut up!" He yelled at the poltergeist.

  


"I can't! Filch is going!" Peeves said and flew away wailing and pushing suits of armor over making a huge amount of noise.

  


Severus looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. She shrugged and struggling not to look too guilty she started to walk somewhere.

  


"You're going the wrong way" stated Severus lazily.

  


She turned around feeling heat in her cheekes, no... she wasn't supposed to blush! She smiled and giggled nervously. No! She wasn't supposed to giggle! Giggling is evil!

  


"I'll show you to your room" he said with a smirk.

  


She felt a familiar weight settle on her chest, his voice... his aura it was so much like Damien... no! She had to stop thinking about Damien... even after he let her go, he still owned her! Why couldn't she move on? She nodded none the less and followed Severus, careful to watch where they were going. She needed to know her way around.

  


"Here you go" he said coldly.

  


"Thanks" she said with a faint smile.

  


"Where you listening to me and Argus talking?" 

  


His question surprised her, how could he know? He was so much like Damien... Damien always knew. She had never figured out how he always knew, he just did. And there were always consequences...

  


"yes" Damien always went easier on her if she didn't lie, but he never let her get away with anything.

  


He looked a bit surprised that she didn't lie. But he looked pleased as well.

  


"Then you know who's being your 'tour guide'?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

  


"yes" she answered quietly, she couldn't shake off the feeling that she was about to be beaten, 'Severus won't strike me' she repeated again and again, but her heart wasn't listening to her brain.

  


"Good" he walked off.

  


She pressed her back against the cool wood of the door and let herself sink slowly to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest and started to veep soundlessly. She'd never get away from Damien...

  


The chapter has now ended. 

  


  


  



	2. chapter two

**Damien (2/?)**

  


**by Sarah Black (halla_ha@yahoo.com)**

  


**Category: Romance/Angst**

  


**Keywords: Triss Care-taker Argus uncle**

  


**Rating: R (for implied violence)**

  


**Spoilers: All the books (just to be safe)**

  


**Summary: Christine Luan has been with her boyfriend Damien for seven years, he doen't treat her well and one day she finds herself free of him. She doesn't know what to do with herself until her grandmother's brother, Argus Filch calls her and offers her a job as a care-taker in his place.**

  


**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

  


**A/N: Please don't flame me too much! I promise the next chapters wont be as angsty! (AIM: tocool2bhot lame I know...) please R & R! Thank you.**

  


It had been a few days since she arrived at Hogwarts. Her uncle had been gone for three days and she had spent most of her time trying not to think about Damien too much and wondering around the castle. She had gotten to be familiar with the castle, but still got lost a lot. Severus said he was there if she needed something but he never did anything she didn't ask for. Actually she hadn't asked him for anything as of yet. But she had found friends in the ghosts. She like one in particular. She always called him Jack. Although she knew from the other teachers he was usually called the Bloody Baron. He had scared her at first, but now... he understood her. She could sit around talking to him about anything. It was amazing how he could understand everything. She also liked Peeves, he could make her laugh, she hadn't laughed heartily for ages. She had giggled brainlessly at the high class parties Damien always insisted on dragging her to. She had been his trophy girl. He'd dress her up in glittery dresses and jewelry, make a spectacular entrance and then he'd leave her with the other trophy wives and girlfriends where they'd talk about various movie stars and gossip. She was really very relieved to get away from it all. The teachers all seemed to hate Peeves, and he was annoying... but in her case it was a welcome distraction. She wished Peeves was her worst problem, but compared to her worst memories... no, she wouldn't think about that. 

  


The next morning she was walking down to breakfast when the Gray Lady or Rachel came to her. Rachel was a very quiet ghost and very intelligent. But conversion was usually dull and rather one sided, since Rachel never said much. But she was a good presence. It was nice to just sit in a room, knowing Rachel was there... it had a calming affect. But Rachel seemed upset about something right that moment.

  


"Christine... there's an owl, it's stuck, follow me"

  


Christine... she had gotten somewhat used to being called Christine... an owl? Stuck, that wasn't good. She followed Rachel to where the owlery was. There would have been an eery silence in the room if not for the frantic beating of wings an hooting of one owl. She walked over to where it was, it looked as if a large piece of wood had collapsed and the owl in question had been unlucky enough to have it fall on it's wing. She managed to lift the wood long enough for the owl to get it's wing back, but it couldn't fly, the wing looked broken. She had better take it to Hagrid. He'd know what to do. She looked at the owl, which was beating it's whole wing and hooting pathetically. She picked it up and the owl relaxed holding one talon out. She noticed a letter tied to the owl's leg. It was addressed to her! But who'd want to write to her? She started making her way down to the Great Hall, because that's where Hagrid would probably be, eating breakfast. Her stomach growled and she quickened her pace. She tried to think of anyone who'd write to her, perhaps her mother and father? Maybe her uncle had contacted them and told them where she was, were her parents wizards? Probably not. Her uncle had said she was a Muggle. Not a Squib. She reached the Great Hall and hurried towards Hagrid who was having an animated conversation with tiny Filius Flitwick. She let out a tiny giggle, it was really very funny to see such different men talking. The owl in her arms gave a hoot and she came to her senses. 

  


"Rubeus, help me please" she said and took a few steps forward.

  


"What is it Christine?" Hagrid said and smiled kindly.

  


"This owl, it's hurt, I think it's wing is broken" she felt worried for the owl, she liked animals and didn't like to see them hurt.

  


"oh, come 'ere then, let us have a look" he gestured for her to approach.

  


She walked the rest of the way to him and put the owl on the table. She hoped it was nothing very serious. But it was only the wing so it should be able to get better.

  


"Aye, a broken wing. Good thing yeh found it, t'has a letter for yeh too" he didn't look too worried about the owl, which was a relief, if there was something seriously wrong with it, he'd be upset, he really adored animals.

  


"yes. I know, do you have any idea about who might want to send me a letter?" she asked not really expecting him to know.

  


"no, if yeh don' know I don' know either"

  


"That's all right, well, I guess I should open it then"

  


"Aye"

  


He handed her the letter and she opened it. After reading it she dropped it in shock. 

  


"no... it can't be... I only just got to know him..." she heard herself say. 

  


"What is it?" asked Hagrid looking curious.

  


"my uncle..."

  


"what about him?" 

  


"he passed away..."

  


"when?"

  


"last night"

  


"oh I'm sorry Christine..."

  


She put a hand over her mouth. Why? Why? God really hated her or something... nothing would ever go her way!

  


"Christine? Are you all right?" it was funny little Filius, he sounded strange... concern... he was concerned... everyone was looking at her. She felt dizzy.

  


"I'm fine, I- can, could I have a glass of water please?" She felt a pang in her chest. She had hardly even known him, but he had been nice to her. He had cared for her, he had scolded Severus when he called her stupid girl... Damien wouldn't have dreamed of defending her. Oh god... why? This was so unfair.

  


"here you are dear" it was Minerva, she was handing her a glass of water. She took the glass and had a small sip. The water was cool and refreshing. Her throat which had gone dry and tight felt better. She had another sip and closed her eyes. She needed to talk to Jack.

  


"thank you... I need to go"

  


"of course, we understand" when she said we she meant herself, Hagrid and Filius, most of the other teachers either weren't at the table or hadn't noticed anything unusual. It wasn't like she was making a scene or anything... she wasn't crying. She was just in a bit of a shock. She left the Hall, completely forgetting about her hunger and headed for the dungeons, where Jack normally kept himself. The silence of the dungeons which had scared her at first didn't bother her that much anymore. She knew her way around, sort of... so she didn't get too lost. And normally if she did get lost, Jack somehow sensed it and helped her out. That was actually how they had first met. She had been wondering around the dungeons her mind elsewhere, when he had drifted out of a door and scared her half to death, he had showed her the way out and they had gotten to know each other well on the way. And now, he drifted out of a door, much like the time she had first met him, but she was less scared this time. He looked at her and smiled sadly. He hardly ever said anything but he was a wonderful listener.

  


She opened the door he had come through and sat in a uncomfortable chair.

  


"My uncle, he died" she said simply.

  


He sad smile remained and he nodded, as if he was saying, 'go on'

  


"Why me? Why does God or whoever is up there do this to me? Haven't I been through enough? What did I do to deserve this? I've never had brains, I've never had luck and I've never had anyone to really love me, except for my parents of course, but they weren't at home half the time! They were lawyers and it was the clients who came first, before me. All I've really had are my looks, and look where they got me! Stuck with Damien for seven years as some sort of trophy... I wish I was ugly" 

  


Jack floated over to a mirror and looked into it sadly. It didn't reflect him. But it reflected her. She looked innocent and naïve. And her eyes were red and puffy. She hadn't even realized she was crying.

  


"There are worse things" Jack said mournfully.

  


"are there?" she said distractedly. Somehow these two words made her feel better. Jack had lived... well un-lived at Hogwarts for a very long time so he was very wise. 

  


Jack nodded and turned himself invisible. Their little 'chat' was over. She stood up and walked out of the room. Her stomach growled. She was so hungry. And breakfast would be over by now... she headed for the kitchens.

  


"Winky?" she asked the air.

  


She was inside the kitchens, her stomach was growling very loudly her hunger increasing because of the delicious food smells. The first time she had entered the kitchens she had tripped over an elf. It had been Winky. And she had never met an elf as miserable as Winky, well she had never met an elf at all at the time, but no matter. Well misery loves company so the two girls had bonded instantly. They were pretty friendly with each other and she was trying to convince Winky to stop drinking. She wasn't having much luck, but at least she was trying.

  


"Winky is not here miss" a cute little elf said.

  


"oh, I'm afraid I missed breakfast, do you have any left overs I could maybe have?"

  


"of course miss, would miss like tea or coffee?"

  


"oh, tea please"

  


And all of a sudden a few elves were carrying trays of tea, cereal, milk, toast and orange juice towards her. 

  


"oh, thank you so much! what great service!" she said, knowing the elves loved praise.

  


The elves beamed at her and bowed.

  


She ate until she was full throwing praise around at the deliriously happy elves.

  


"oh, I couldn't possibly eat more I'm all full! But I haven't tasted food this good in years!"

  


"Miss must come back and visit!" some of the elves said their earlobes dangling.

  


"of course I will, like I could possibly stay away" she said. She really did love to come down to the kitchen, it was such a busy place, she loved to just sit and listen to the kitchen sounds, talk to the elves and just thinking about happy things instead of sitting around alone slowly sinking into a depression.

  


But it was time to go, she couldn't stay there forever. She said her goodbyes and the funny elf called Dobby fell in his nose because he bowed too deeply, she giggled and helped him up. She loved this castle. It was so full of silliness... it left little room for sadness... but still... Moaning Myrtle was definitely not very uplifting ghost. But you couldn't dwell on the bad things. And she didn't try to dwell on the bad things, the bad things dwelled on her... maybe if she stayed in the happy atmosphere of Hogwarts, she could slowly wriggle her way out of Damien's iron like grasp. 

  


"oomph" she said as she crashed into a wall. Which was odd, she didn't remember a wall here... but oh. It wasn't a wall, it was Severus.

  


"sorry" she said, oh, no. Why did he have to show up, it was like trying to climb out of a huge bowl, every time she was about to make it to the top she'd lose her grip and slide back down. She was getting that awful feeling again. The feeling she always got when she knew Damien was about to hurt her. But she knew no one at Hogwarts would hurt her. Why couldn't her heart understand that? It was just to broken. You'd think she'd learnt her lesson... but after seven years. She was still a little in love with Damien. She was so stupid. He didn't hold on to her, she was holding on to him. What would you feel if the man you thought loved you, the man you loved, would hurt you. Not just mentally but physically as well? You'd feel awful, that's what you'd feel like... and still... she still managed to find a way to love him... she was impossible!

  


"Christine" Severus said loudly and shook her a little.

  


She looked at him and blinked a few times, she had completely zoned out.

  


"sorry" she shook her head and hurried away.

  


How? Severus had some affect on her and she couldn't figure out why and how... she knew a little... usually when people have affect on you it's because you let them... there, she had to ignore him. She wasn't going to let him have any affect on her. But his eyes... his eyes were... no. No eyes. She giggled as an image of Severus walking around with no eyes crashing into walls came to her head. Soon the students would arrive and she needed to get her act together. She knew nothing of kids, but she'd seen enough movies to know that if children saw a weakness, you were doomed. But she didn't want to be mean... 

  


*

  


She had never been as nervous in her entire life. Well that was a lie, but she was very very nervous all the same. She was going to be sitting in front of more then a hundred children, who were all gonna be staring at her and then Albus would introduce her and then everyone would be looking at her and... If there had been any cigarettes around she'd start smoking again without a second thought. She looked at her reflection in the mirror for the umpteenth time. She was wearing her Matrix coat, her hair was tied in a ponytail and she looked as nervous as she felt. What if they were wizard brats, just like her uncle said? She started pacing. Back and forth, back and forth... she had no idea about how many times she had walked back and forth when there was a knock at the door. It was the new DADA teacher, Professor Arabella Figg. Arabella had arrived at Hogwarts the previous evening and she was crazy. She just went on and on and on about her cats. 

  


"Christine, are you ready"

  


Not trusting her own voice, she nodded once and followed Arabella who had started yapping.

  


"Oh, and of course Dumbledore is ever so sweet, he's letting this French girl come to Hogwarts, she's going to be helping me with my class... I'm so old, it will be good to have what was her name... Fleur? Something like that, to help me." 

  


She didn't trust herself to open her mouth (she might start giggling) so she just nodded and smiled. She suspected the other teachers had sent Arabella to get her just to get away from Arabella's constant talking... 

  


"Well we're here aren't we?" 

  


She just nodded, feeling nervous again. She could here voices outside the door in the Entrance Hall. She sat down in her seat next to Hagrid's seat, which was empty. And about a minute later children from twelve to seventeen year olds were streaming into the Hall. Some of the students pointed at her and started whispering to their friends. What were they saying? She suddenly felt very aware of the fact that She and Hagrid (who had just sat down beside her) were the only ones in there not wearing wizard robes. Then everyone went silent. Minerva walked in and there were kids following her in a single file. She left and came back with a wooden stool and an old rather ugly hat. She sat the stool down and placed the hat on it.

  


Everyone was staring at the hat along with herself. Then the hat shook all over and a it seemed to rip open a little. Then it started singing! Now she had seen everything! A singing hat! Ghosts were okay and she could handle most magic ('just don't make me fly') but singing hats? She felt dizzy. She was very relieved when the song ended, and she even managed to clap a little. Then there was quiet again until Minerva said, 

  


"You will come here when your name is called, sit on the stool and put on the hat" 

  


And she started reading names off a scroll in alphabetical order. Every time a student put the hat on his or hers head the hat took a moment or two to decide but then it would yell out which house that person was to live in for the next seven years. This was very fascinating, as long as the hat wasn't singing... Then finally the sorting was over and Minerva took the stool and the hat. Albus stood up and said something truly odd and dinner appeared in front of her. She wasn't used to this, usually when she came into the Great Hall for food, it was just there. That's why she let out a surprised but quiet gasp. Hagrid was the only one who noticed.

  


"Don' worry, t'only 'appens in feasts, well, yeh only see it 'appen at feasts"

  


"oh" she said, still stunned. She stared at the food for a little while longer but then she came to her senses and had some lamb chops. She didn't eat very much that night, she was to nervous to actually enjoy the food so she just picked at it lazily. She really didn't have anything to do so she started to look at the students. Her eyes went to the blue table first. She supposed that was the Ravenclaw table. She looked at the new first years who were enjoying themselves eating the delicious food and making new friends. Then she noticed a sad looking girl. She looked Asian. The girl was just staring into space picking at her food absentmindedly. The girl was interrupted by the girl sitting next to her and with a glance at the yellow table the Asian girl went back to eating. She followed the girl's gaze to an empty seat at the yellow (Hufflepuff?) table. Some of the oldest students looked a bit sad too, but most were just enjoying the feast laughing and joking. He eyes traveled to her friend Jack, who was sitting at the green table which she knew was the Slytherin table. He was sitting beside a girl who looked like she needed a diet and across from a dark haired girl with too much make-up. The girl with too much make-up was sitting next to a very blond boy who was sniggering along with two very big and scary looking boys. They were sniggering at something on the red table, it had to be Gryffindor. And she noticed a pair of redheaded twins who where about to drop soup down some kids back. A girl with brown bushy hair was looking hysterical because of the two redheads and was yelling something at them waving a silver badge around. Then another red headed boy said something to her and she started scolding him and another boy who was laughing so hard that he had tears running down his face. He had black hair. She looked at a red headed girl who was staring at the black haired kid with a small smile. The twins had poured the soup down that chubby kid's collar and Minerva was making her way over there yelling about detention. The black haired kid fell on the floor and was just lying there laughing like there was no tomorrow when Minerva kept yelling at the twins. Minerva dragged the twins out of the Hall and that was when all the food disappeared. Albus stood up and told everyone about some basic rules, then he said,

  


"For our Defense Against the Dark Arts job we have with us, Arabella Figg" everyone clapped politely, but the Black haired boy who had been trying to get off the floor, fell over again.

  


"And, I am saddened to tell you that our care-taker, Argus Filch passed away this summer and we have here his niece who will be taking over his job." Everyone stood up and clapped as if Albus had just told them there would be no homework for the rest of the year. She blushed and bit her lip nervously. She hadn't been expecting this.

  


"Now, now, off to bed. Big day for all of you tomorrow" Albus said and with that the Hall went back to whispers, shouts, laughter and just general talking. She sat a bit longer and when all of the students had left she stood up and walked towards Albus. 

  


"Albus, why was everyone so happy to see me?"

  


"Lets just say your uncle wasn't the most popular man in the school" Albus said with a small smile.

  


"right" she said uncertainly.

  


Minerva walked in the twins in a tow and she looked angry to say the least.

  


"Christine, these two are having detention. Now!"

  


Before she could even open her mouth, Albus had spoken.

  


"Minerva, it's the first night, I'm sure they meant well. But we're all tired, why don't you wait with the detention?"

  


"Absolutely not. They have to be taught a lesson right this instant"

  


"But Minerva"

  


"No buts Albus. They are my Gryffindors and they are having detention now."

  


"With Christine?"

  


"yes"

  


"Why don't you handle their detention?"

  


"Because that's her job"

  


"all right then" Albus finally said a twinkle in his eyes. "Christine, what do you propose we have them do?"

  


She hadn't expected this. What were wizard kids supposed to do for detention? Were the supposed to write lines on the blackboard? Thankfully, Minerva came to her rescue.

  


"I have arranged that they polish the trophies in the Trophy Room" she said.

  


"I see." Albus said looking amused. "Christine, are you all right with this?"

  


She nodded with her eyebrows raised in confusion.

  


"Well that's settled then"

  


"Fred, George, please go with Christine to the trophy room"

  


The twins nodded, identical grins on their faces. 

  


"And no funny business." Minerva added sternly.

  


"Of course not Professor" one of the twins said.

  


She didn't know what to do so she started walking towards the Trophy room. The twins followed her. She stopped and got some things out of a supply closet and handed them rags and other things they'd need for polishing wordlessly. They didn't speak the whole way there but when the had reached their destination one of the twins said something.

  


"hi, I'm Fred, and that's George we're Weasleys." They obviously expected her to know them, and their names did sound familiar, maybe her uncle mentioned them? She fought not to smile.

  


"I'm Christine Luan" 

  


"so, how are you related to Filch?" George asked as he and his twin started to work.

  


"He was my grandmother's brother."

  


"great, so do you have Mrs. Norris?"

  


"No, my uncle took her home with him"

  


"that's great!" 

  


"just concentrate on working please, you'll be done sooner that way"

  


So the two boy started working furiously chatting between themselves.

  


"But it was worth it you know, although we would've liked to stuff soup down Malfoy's collar instead of Neville's..."

  


"but Harry thought it was funny! He was on the floor laughing!" 

  


"Poor Neville though..." 

  


"yeah. Did you see the look on McGonagall's face?" 

  


"Yeah! She was furious!" 

  


"And all because of soup!" "Unbelievable!"

  


So, the black haired boy was called Harry and the chubby kid was Neville... now she knew...

  


**End of chapter.**

  



	3. chapter three

**Damien (3/?)**

  


**by Sarah Black**

  


  


She was settling into the routine of Hogwarts. It was really boring and sometimes difficult work to take care of such a big castle and she was beginning to understand her uncle's resentment of the kids. They were always getting everything dirty! Specially in the Entrance Hall, it had rained the other day and the Entrance Hall had gotten covered with mud footprints as well as the beautiful marble staircase. But she wasn't complaining, while her uncle's biggest problems had been Peeves and dirty floors she had worse problems, much worse. She had started to have nightmares. Not that she hadn't always had them, but they were starting to make sense. They were usually just jumbled screams and Damiens face specially eyes, his laughter and... anyway her nightmares, like previously stated were making sense, they were like watching short very strange movies. She was waking up with clear memory of what had happened. But nothing happening in them made sense in reality... it was hard to explain. She had tried talking to Jack, but as he hadn't slept in over five centuries he wasn't a very big help. In her latest dream she had been standing on a rock in the middle of the ocean, it was a fairly big rock until the surface of the sea started rising and the space she had on the rock kept getting smaller and smaller. And then all of a sudden, she could hear Damien's voice.

  


"Did you really think you'd be safe on that rock? The tide will come..." Then she'd fall into the water.

  


And then she'd wake up. The dreams were always something like that, she was stuck somewhere where she couldn't get away, Damien would speak to her and then when she should have died in the dream world she woke up. It was very unsettling. 

  


"Christine?" Someone said, she looked around but didn't see anyone. 

  


"I'm in the Potion classroom" She recognized Severus' voice and went into the classroom. 

  


"What is... it?" She had started to ask her question before she could see the mess in there. There was something green and gooey all over the ceiling. She looked at it and then she realized breathing was smart and took a deep breath. Then there was the smell. She coughed. 

  


"What is this?" she said trying not to sound too disgusted. 

  


"Neville Longbottom" he said his tone suggesting that this was the end of the discussion. He was rubbing his palm which was bandaged.

  


"What happened to your hand?" she asked, curious. Did it have something to do with the green stuff on the ceiling? Was that stuff dangerous? She hoped not, since she was the one who would be cleaning it all up.

  


"Nothing really..." She had seen movies. She was no fool! Of course it was _something _or else his hand wouldn't be bandaged and he wouldn't be rubbing his palm!

  


"let me see" she said walking towards him.

  


"Don't worry about it, I have a healing potion... I'll take care of it myself." he said harshly. She was taken aback, she really had only meant to help. Why was he snapping at her? She didn't like getting snapped at. But what could she do. She just smiled weakly and backed away from him. Damn! She still did that. She had to stop cowering away from people. She had to.

  


"oh, all right then, I hope it gets better... sorry" she said using every bit of concentration to stay in place. She wasn't going to back away, she wasn't going to back away.

  


"Could you take care of this stuff?" he gestured towards the ceiling. She nodded.

  


"Is there anything I need to know about this 'stuff'?" it's basically thick green water, it shouldn't give you a very hard time, Longbottom is useless at making anything in Potions! All he ever manages is the same exact acid and smelly green liquid." he rambled.

  


He was funny when he rambled. But he was never gonna find out that she thought it was funny. What wasn't funny was getting him annoyed or angry. She was lucky enough never to experienced his wrath as she had been taking lessons in how to be meek for the last six, seven years. But she had seen one row he had with Minerva. It had happened shortly after she arrived that summer, it had been about their Prefects. Minerva wanted to make Harry Potter a Prefect but Severus was against that, something about how this Harry had been braking rules since the day he arrived at Hogwarts and then Minerva didn't want Draco Malfoy to be Prefect. Severus had won, and Minerva had made a Gryffindor girl Prefect, she couldn't remember that girls name but it had been long an it hadn't been British. She noticed that Severus had left the room and she hurried over to the nearest closet, she got the normal cleaning things out of the closet and went back to the Potion classroom, Severus was still out. She took off her coat and put it down on a table near by then she stood up on a chair and started cleaning the ceiling, she had to stretch, even if she had the rag she was cleaning with on a long mop. She soon lost all awareness of everything, she was just concentrated on her work. That's what she loved most about this job, even if it was tiring, she was able to forget... forget everything. She had to get off the stool and move it around a lot, to get to different parts of the ceiling and it was during one of those trips off the stool she noticed Severus had slipped into the room and was watching her. He smirked as their eyes met and she felt a cold shiver run down her spine.

  


"Hello" he seemed calm.

  


"How long have you been here?" she asked, because she honestly had no idea, had she been so preoccupied that she hadn't heard him come in? Had he said anything to her which she hadn't heard and ignored... she hoped not, how embarrassing!

  


"A few minutes" he declared. She sighed with relief, he probably came in after she last moved the chair.

  


"You looked like you were almost done, I didn't want to interrupt you" he smirked.

  


That was thoughtful of him... well she had better get back to it, like he had mentioned, she was almost done and she was starting to feel hungry, it was almost dinner time... if she could just wrap this up and she'd be on her way to eating one more wonderful meal from the talented house elves. So she hurriedly finished the job thinking about what sort of food would be for dinner, if she had been thinking properly she would have noticed that Severus was waiting for her, watching her work. Not saying a word. If she would have been thinking like you are thinking right now she would have also have noticed how out of character that was for Severs. But she was thinking about food at the moment so she noticed neither of these things. When she finished, Severus followed her back to the closet where she dropped off the cleaning things, remembering to lock the closet so no students would get lost inside it. She walked in silence with Severus up to the Entrance Hall, where he stopped to scold some Gryffindor first years who where spreading mud all over the place. The first years apologized and took of their boots carrying them into the Great Hall, Severus walked to her again looking grumpy.

  


"Those stupid Gryffindors, ignorant of the people who are working here..." he muttered darkly and she felt a bit warmer inside, but then she thought it over again, he wouldn't have told them off because he didn't want her to have extra work, would he? He just hated all Gryffindors, she sighed, sometimes the voice of reason could really spoil things. She hadn't felt warm like that since she had overheard her uncle and Severus talking...

  


"go ahead, I'll stay here and clean this up" she said with a small sigh.

  


"Are you positive? Aren't you hungry?" 

  


Even if she was a bit stupid, she wasn't totally ignorant. She noticed that Severus was behaving very much out of character and now as she thought back she felt pretty dim not to have noticed this before.

  


"Severus, are you feeling all right?" she asked wrinkling her brow.

  


"yes, Severus are you feeling all right my little sugar prune?"

  


"oh, I'm ever so concerned, do you need your medicine?"

  


Fred and George Weasley were making swooning faces and faces that were probably supposed to look lovesick. Then they started making kissing noises and dancing around like idiots. She and Severus both just stood there and looked at the twins like they were from another planet, and come to think of it, they probably were.

  


"Are you quite finished?" Severus asked impatiently.

  


The twins stopped their little performance and grinned like the dolts they were being. 

  


"I was just wondering about his hand, it's bandaged..." she said and looked at Severus for answers.

  


"I'm fine, and you two, get to your common room, now!" Severus barked his command so the two boys hurried away.

  


She looked at Severus and smiled, he smirked back and walked towards the Great Hall. She went to the nearest supply closet (There were supply closets all over the castle) and got out some cleaning supplies.

  


She thanked heaven there wasn't too much dirt on the stone floor so it was a pretty quickly done job. But her stomach thought it was a very long time to put off a meal and the Fred and George escapade had made her later then she had needed to be, she was starting to get frustrated with those two, why couldn't they act their age? And Severus hadn't seemed at all upset about it all, like he thought the idea was absurd, and she thought it was absurd... but then why did it bother her? It really shouldn't bother her. She finished up with the mopping and closed the mob inside it's closet again... how boring. She was always doing the same things, but in a way that was good... but only in the long term sense... even if it was good for her and keeping her mind off other things, it didn't mean she had to like every single second of it. And her mind was full of things right now... she didn't need anything to preoccupy her. She heard the echo of voices in the passages and knew dinner was over, she'd have to make a trip to the kitchens... again. So she started walking the way she was all too familiar with, which led to the house elves. She reached the portrait of the fruit bowl and tickled the pear. Then she opened the door and entered the busy kitchens. Winky was sitting by the fire polishing silver. She went over to her and sat down. 

  


"Hi Winky?" she said, wondering if Winky was in one of her moods, where she couldn't hear a thing you said, no matter if you screamed at the top of your lungs.

  


"Miss... um?" Winky said looking puzzled.

  


"It's me, Christine"

  


"Christine, hicc! What is Miss hicc! Doing here?" Winky said, well rather then said she hiccoughed.

  


"I missed dinner because I was cleaning..." she trailed off "have you been drinking again?" she then added exasperated.

  


"hicc"

  


was her short but clear answer. She looked around for another house elf and Dobby, who she had befriended mostly because he was Winky's only friend, came over and bowed. 

  


"Can Dobby help Miss?" he asked politely

  


"yes please, I missed dinner because I was cleaning..." she didn't have to tell him any further. He was off and came back with two other house elves, Dobby was carrying a plate of some sort of fish, one elf was carrying some salad and one was carrying a tray of Pumpkin Juice. She smiled and thanked the two elves who smiled at her but then they scurried off, most likely to do some chore or other. She started eating the food sighing with pleasure making the elves swell with pride. After she finished Dobby took what was left of the meal and tipped the dirty plate, silver and her goblet in the large tub where about ten house elves where doing the cleaning. 

  


"Dobby, I'm really worried about Winky, how long has she been having this drinking problem?" she asked trying not to speak to loudly so Winky wouldn't hear.

  


"Winky is sad, Winky got clothes, Winky misses Winky's first master"

  


"But she should have gotten over that by now"

  


"Dobby thinks Winky was heartbroken when Mr. Crouch older and younger both died" Dobby looked a bit sad as he shared these news.

  


"Dobby, did you have a previous master?"

  


The little house elf shuddered and nodded. But he didn't say anything, some other elf called for his help and he hurried away. His reaction... he had probably had a very bad master... just like her. Damien was probably the worst 'master' you could get. She doubted Dobby had had worse, but still... perhaps. She thought back to her nightmare she had dreamt the night before. Alone on a rock... Damien says stuff and she drowns... could it mean anything? Her nightmares had never been like this before... maybe it was the castle affecting her dreams... or maybe Damien was sending her some sort of message through her subconsciousness... Impossible! She was being silly. Of course Damien couldn't send her any dream messages, he was a Muggle, just like her. He was the son of some rich guy who didn't need to work and was a Photographer for a hobby... he was normal. He was normal. He was. Oh sod it, there was no way to make him look normal... she just couldn't comprehend it. Someone who would strike a girl he said he loved wasn't normal. He was a sadistic bastard. She felt something wet on her cheek and knew she must've been crying. Winky had stopped polishing her silver and was looking at her with her big eyes.

  


"Winky knows just how Miss feels" Winky said sympathetically. She knew Winky couldn't possibly know exactly what she was feeling, but every little helped. 

  


"Thank you Winky" she smiled softly "but I think I have to go now, I have the night off, and I need some Dreamless Droughts... I think Madam Pomfray has some" Winky nodded and sniffed, then she started polishing silver again. Herself, she stood up and walked out of the kitchens trying to dry her eyes with the back of her hand. 

  


"Poppy?" she called as she entered the rather empty Hospital Wing, well she thought it was empty until Madam Pomfray opened a curtain sharply startling her to death. She walked over to the matron and peered over her shoulder to see who was in the bed. She was surprised to see Severus lying there. She looked questioningly at Madam Pomfray.

  


"I know, he usually never gets sick... he was acting very odd through dinner... very out of character being all _nice _Filius fell of his chair when Severus offered him some boiled potatoes... And then he was walking with me because I needed the Dreamless Droughts he was going to brew for me and we were talking and I swear he was making me dizzy... he was oozing with nice-ness but suddenly he just passed out... I have no idea about what may be wrong..." Madam Pomfray was just rambling to herself hardly noticing her but all of a sudden she closed her mouth and looked at her suspiciously.

  


"What do you want here anyway?" 

  


"I came for some sleeping potion..." she smiled embarrassedly 

  


"Well, I don't have any, like I said, Severus was going to make me some, but he's obviously gotten himself sick somehow..." the matron rambled reminding her of one girl she always met at the high class parties Damien dragged her to all the time... no _had _dragged her to all the time... he was gone now. But why was he gone? Had he just woken up one day and decided he was bored with her? These were questions that had been bothering her lately. She remembered where she was and was struck by a sudden idea.

  


"Could it have something to do with his hand?" she asked and pointed at the still bandaged hand.

  


"I don't see how his hand could have anything to do with this abnormal behavior" Poppy said and shook her head looking confused.

  


"Well, Severus told me it had been hit by one of Longbottom's smellier potions, maybe the potion _does_ have some affect" she said and shrugged.

  


"It's an idea, and since I can't seem to find anything else... oh, I'll give it a try then, what sort of potion was it?" Poppy asked.

  


"Well, it was green and gooey... and it smelled really bad" she said wrinkling her nose, recalling the awful smell.

  


"Oh dear... yes, of course! I had Neville come here this afternoon, he was acting all smart and gracious, I had no idea of what had gotten into the boy! I'm surprised Severus didn't notice himself... but of course he wouldn't... oh, how do you know about this?" Poppy muttered.

  


"I don't understand, what sort of potion was it? Oh and who do you think cleaned the mess up?" she said irritably.

  


"It's called the Opposition Potion, it turns your personality into it's exacts opposite, it isn't very strong at first but then it gets stronger and stronger until your head can't handle all the contradictions, usually the person in question passes out, but the potion wares off in twelve hours... oh dear, did you get any of the potion on you?" Poppy was speaking quickly in an almost hysterical tone.

  


"No, I was scared it might hurt me... Severus probably only got his hand hurt because the potion burned him when it exploded..." she the latter part distractedly... as if she were thinking out loud, which she had actually been doing.

  


"Yes, you're right, I had to heal several burn wounds on Neville, I just thank god everyone in that class is smart enough not to sit too near him and run as soon as his cauldron starts to bubble dangerously" Poppy said that so seriously it was funny. She thought that if she ever set foot into that class she'd sit as far away from Neville as possible, but she also felt sorry for the boy being so unpopular in Potion class... and as she had spied from Jack (who sometimes watched Potion classes, he had after all been the Potion Master once) Neville was terrified of Severus. She really didn't blame the boy, she was scared of Severus... but she wasn't really scared of _him_, she was scared of what he reminded her of. And speaking of Neville...

  


"Madam Pomfary! Neville passed out, he was telling us how to do our Potion homework and he just passed out!"the Weasley was panting, he and Harry were carrying Neville, which probably wasn't very easy, while the Prefect girl was looking at them like they were idiots.

  


"Why didn't you use the Wingardium Leviosa spell?" she questioned the two boys who looked like they were kicking themselves for not having done exactly that. Then the girl looked at Poppy, "Opposition Potion?" Madam Pomfray nodded and waved her wand at Neville, Neville floated over to a nearby bed and Poppy hurried over to tend to him.

  


"See, I tried to tell you that it was an Opposition Potion, but would you listen? Of course not, you just wanted someone to help you do your homework more easily!" the Prefect said looking miffed.

  


"We just thought you were being jealous cause Neville was being smarter than you" Ron said with a smirk. Harry looked amused for some reason and whispered something to Ron, Ron went scarlet and the threesome left without another word.

  


"Well, Christine, I think you don't need any sleeping potion after all" Poppy said and smiled.

  


"What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled.

  


"Well Severus isn't going to be patrolling any halls that's for sure" Poppy made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world, and it was pretty obvious, come to think of it.

  


"How long will he be out?" she asked

  


"I don't know, but when he does wake up he'll be very confused, so it's bed rest for both of them, at least one day, maybe two"

  


"Good thing it's Friday, no lessons for the next two days" she said with a small smile.

  


"Trust me, the students wont think of it that way" Poppy said and sternly.

  


She shrugged and walked out of he ward with one last glance at Severus who was sleeping peacefully, oh what she wouldn't give for peaceful sleep...

  


**The chapter has now ended**

  


  


  


  


  


  



	4. chapter four

Damien

  


by Sarah Black

  


chapter four

  


She walked. And walked. And then she walked some more. And now she was walking. And now she was walking some more. Okay so these thoughts weren't exactly the most interesting in the world, but they were better than thinking about those nightmares. And about why? Why? She just didn't get it. Why did Damien just let her go? Why, why, why? She entered the Astronomy Tower. She had caught a few kids snogging there before, sometimes she wouldn't bother them though. She wanted them to have happiness even if she couldn't. But sometimes she spoiled a good time, so she'd be able to say she was actually doing the school some good. You'd think cleaning everything up would be good enough for Minerva. But no. Minerva was so much better than she was, because she had super powers... But oh, she smiled to herself. Well, if it wasn't the Weasley and the Prefect girl. Their mouths were a bit close to each other too... now, should she bother them? She was pondering that very same question when the couple suddenly broke apart. 

  


"Ron" the Prefect girl sounded shocked. Hmmm, she thought, a surprise kiss, well the Prefect girl hadn't been complaining earlier had she?

  


"I'm sorry Hermione, I don't know what cam over me" Weasley, well apparently his name was Ron sounded as shocked as the Prefect, Hermione had.

  


"Harry could have seen us! He'll be back in a few minutes and what would he have said if he'd seen us like that?" The Hermione girl was ranting walking around in circles waving her hands about. It was actually quite funny, well seen by her point of view, but Ron Weasley wasn't laughing. As a matter of fact he looked very angry.

  


"So what Harry thinks means more to you then what I - We feel?" He said and crossed his arms over his chest. Prefect Hermioe stopped moving. She gaped at the redheaded boy for a second before she started stuttering something.

  


"R-Ron, y-you f-feel some-something for, for m-me?" She seemed completely awestruck. Weasley's face was as red as his hair, and that was saying something.

  


"W-well yes, don't, don't you?" he stuttered. The looks on their faces were rather amusing, but like a painful stab at her heart, she remembered countless occasions from her first year with Damien where she had been awestruck by his beauty, his wit his wanting her... Damien, why couldn't she let go? The nightmares where like torture devices, reminding her of his face, his voice never letting her forget for more than a few seconds. A sudden yell yanked her out of her thoughts.

  


"How dare you?" thundered Hermione the Prefect at a very angry, and now scared looking Ron Weasley. "How dare you accuse me of that! I never! NEVER! Kissed Victor! Never!" She screamed. At that exact moment, and she had to give the boy praise for his _wonderful _timing, Harry Potter arrived on a broomstick. He looked very confused and maybe a bit amused...

  


"Did you manage to find something to do, while I talked with Si- Snuffles?" He asked cheekily. But she wondered about the Snuffles bit, what had he been about to say? Si? She had never really paid attention in Spanish, but she did know that 'Si' meant 'yes' in Spanish... 'Yes Snuffles'? Was that a name? Well if it was she wouldn't want to meet that person's parents. Probably highly insane people. She had missed out on something and Hermione the Prefect was now storming out of the room, slamming the door. Harry Potter was looking at Ron Weasley with amazement and looked like he was about to say something when his eyes darted towards the corner where she was hiding. A look of horror plastered itself onto his face.

  


"Miss Luan..." he managed to say with a hoarse voice. She had been noticed, but they were the ones out of bounds so she was supposed to be the scary not scared looking one. What a strange turn of things. Damien would have been perfect for this job, he'd scare the kids out of their silly little cloaks. She stepped out of the shadows, doing her best to look angry but not like she was on the verge of running away. 

  


"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley" She said hoping her voice wouldn't shake too badly. Her previous 'arrests' hadn't been this difficult... they had been very simple and not at all scary, why was this so different?

  


*

  


It had been two months since Severus had gotten the Opposition Potion all over his hand. And they had become what some people would call friends. How did that happen? Well she remembered, it had been the night after Madam Pomfray let him out of the hospital Wing, the next day was Monday and she had been enjoying the last bit of the weekend lying on her bed resting. Severus had walked right in and sat down at her desk. She had been quite surprised, but he seemed to be ignoring her completely. He started looking through her desk drawers and she had watched him, bewildered. He finally stopped and looked around. Then he spotted her and asked her what the hell she was doing there. She had asked him the same and he had told her he was looking for Argus. She realized that he had to be suffering after effects of the Opposition Potion, she had told him about her uncle dying and at first he didn't believe her but then he seemed to go back to normal. He scowled at her and started scolding her for not doing her job right, making fun of her for being a Muggle and generally making her feel miserable. She started getting really horrid flashbacks of Damien doing the same thing, scolding her for absolutely no good reason. It was only when Severus realized she was crying not even fighting him that he stopped. He had asked her why she was putting up with him and she had only shrugged. He had left and from that day on he had started showing up in her room at the oddest moments. He kept blaming it on the Potion and she didn't argue. He had stopped being extremely harsh with her, which she appreciated, but his sarcastic comments about everything still hurt her. She was trying to learn how to block it out but it was difficult. Right now, she was very busy. Christmas was coming and the castle needed to be spotless. Well according to Minerva. Severus said Minerva was an annoying Gryffindor who would end up stuck in her animagus form if she irritated him again. But somehow she couldn't see that happening. But in reality, she had the feeling Minerva really had it in for her. Maybe it was because she had caught Potter and Weasley and she had been forced to take a bunch of points from Gryffindor... but it couldn't be something that silly. To her some House Cup didn't seem that important. She was happy just being away from Damien. There was a sound of paper being slid under her door and she looked over to it. Who would be sending her a message? The owl about her uncle remained the only message she had ever received at Hogwarts. She picked it up. It was a magazine. A magazine for teenage boys. She frowned and almost threw it in the bin when she noticed her name. What? She went through the magazine trying to ignore the disturbing photos of young girls. She stopped, feeling sick as she saw one of the pictures Damien had taken of her displayed on a magazine page for all to see. A piece of parchment fell out of the magazine. She picked it up and read.

  


_Christine_

_I confiscated this magazine this morning, some disgusting boys were talking about it quite loudly. I thought you might want it. You are in it after all._

  


_S.S._

  


She felt a sharp pain in her chest. He thought she had done _that _willingly. She didn't want him to think so. And he had just slipped it under her door. Why hadn't he knocked? She could have explained... it was Damien. Not her it was the horrible monster who was ruining her life even after he was gone from it. Severus, Jack and Rachel were probably the only friends she had at this place... and oh no. She read the note over again. Some boys had this? They'd tell everyone in school! Everyone would know. She felt so disgusted, and - not for the first time - violated. She looked at the date of the magazine, it was new. She felt a freezing fist clamp itself around her heart. This was a message. A message from Damien. He knew about her. He knew she was trying to get on with her life and he was ruining it! She read what it said under the photograph. It was something about her interests and quotes from her she couldn't remember ever saying and it said the photographer's name was Erauoy Erehw Wonki. That wasn't right... his name was Damien, she should know. She tried to see something out of it. Damien wasn't the one to hide his identity. He was always proud. If someone would have accused him of abusing her he wouldn't have denied it. Even on a stand in court, but a judge wouldn't dream of getting on the wrong side of Damien. But the problem was, Damien was never accused of anything. He was respected, he was a rich aristocrat from a family of rich aristocrats. He did no wrong. So she looked at the text, searching for a hidden meaning in it all. But her vision was constantly blurring and it made concentrating difficult. Damien had done this on purpose, he had done this on purpose to make her lose her all friends, and judging by the way Severus had acted, Damien had succeeded. She felt so miserable, just when she had been about to stop flinching away from people. He did something like this. Ruining everything. She didn't even look at all like she did in that picture! She stood up dragging the magazine with her and looked into the mirror. Her mirror was very quiet and hardly ever said anything, but when she compared herself with her magazine photo her mirror gave a loud "tuh" and she was sure that if mirrors could move, the mirror would have turned away. She stepped closer not really knowing what she was doing. She had stared at the photo for a while before she noticed the letters. They were all backwards. She noticed the name of the photographer, it looked like iknoW wherE youarE. She said it out loud. 

  


"I know where you are" she dropped the magazine to the floor and ran out of the room. She had to speak to someone. She had to get help. Damien couldn't know where she was, she wasn't safe, he could be here right now! She had the feeling she had never moved quite so fast in her entire life. She was running so fast that everything she passed was just big blurs of color. Good thing it was night, students would have thought she had gone mad. And in a way she had gone mad. When she reached the door of Severus's room, she leaned against it and took in huge gulps of air. She had a painful sting in her side and her throat was dry. She coughed a painful cough and knocked on the door hesitantly. 

  


"Enter" came an irritated response.

  


She opened the door and was suddenly very aware of the way she must've looked, puffy red eyes, hair all over the place and dressed in a dressing gown which was two times bigger than her own size. He looked at her with a cold sneer on his face.

  


"Severus..." she started, but he cut her off.

  


"Professor Snape to you, Miss Luan." He said, his tone as cold as the look on his face. She almost gave into a fresh wave of tears but managed to hold them back, with much difficulty though.

  


"Please, hear me out... those photographs... those... they were taken without my total permission" She managed to say between her gasps for air. That much running wasn't healthy she thought.

  


"I don't know what you're talking about" He said, the coldness not leaving the look in his eyes nor his tone.

  


"Please... it was a message... from my ex-boyfriend..." he cut her off again.

  


"I don't care. Leave, now." She had never been so scared in her life. The look in his eyes, the look that she had always comforted her was gone. She wanted to run, but she had to tell Severus the truth. She had been wanting to tell someone beside Jack about Damien, but she had been scared. Well, now she was terrified, but she had to say something.

  


"Damien, he's been abusing me since I was sixteen" she blurted out and then she clamped her hands over her mouth. Severus just looked extremely confused. Which would have been funny to look at if the situation was different. 

  


"Who's Damien?" He asked quietly, his eyes were going back to being a cold black, which was a definite improvement from super freezing black. 

  


"My ex-boyfriend" she whispered, he breathing had returned to normal and she felt strangely empty. 

  


"You said something about a message" he said, slowly, his brow furrowed.

  


"In the magazine, that photo is old, why would he post it now? And the name of the photographer is the message, the name actually spells _I know where you are_ backwards." She was still whispering and she was talking to the floor. She couldn't look into his eyes. She had never been able to look into anyone's eyes for long. 

  


"Did you run away from him?" He asked simply.

  


"No, he told me I could go, I didn't ask any questions, after seven years, I just..." she trailed off, and with a glance at Severus's face she assured herself that he wasn't angry at her. How silly of her. She was the one who had a right to be angry. She looked at Severus again. He looked like he was putting the last pieces of a puzzle together. And come to think of it, he must have wondered why she acted the way she did...

  


"I'm sorry" he said. It was barely a whisper, but she caught it.

  


"for what?" she asked or rather, sighed.

  


"hmm?" He looked up at her, like he was snapping out a trance. He narrowed his eyes.

  


"Why haven't you told anyone?" he asked.

  


"I can't" she said truthfully enough, even if she could screw her courage up to a high enough level no one would believe that perfect Damien would do anything like that... she'd be thought of as some crazy girl who was after Damien's money. 

  


"Well why not?" he sounded annoyed. She gave him a pleading look, doubting that it would work, but thought it wouldn't hurt to try. Amazingly enough, he backed off and started pacing. He seemed to know exactly why she couldn't report Damien or anything like that. He just didn't want to not do anything. He wanted to help her... she felt all warm inside. It was such a nice feeling. Every time it happened she tried to hold on to it for as long as possible. But it was often difficult as she could remember how much she had missed during the seven long years with Damien. Funny when she thought about it. The time with Damien had seemed so much longer. She didn't feel twenty three, she had missed being a teenager, she had missed being young. She just felt old and tired and violated and completely horrible and she just wanted it to stop. She wanted the pain, the not knowing and the fear, she wanted it all to just go away and leave her alone. Hadn't she been through enough? Why did she have to suffer? She needed to get out of this room... it was closing in on her. She felt trapped. She had to get away, escape. Somehow she managed to run towards the door and she was struggling with the doorknob when she remembered Severus was still there, the reminder, his hand had closed around her wrist and she panicked with strength she had no idea she possessed she wrenched her hand free pushed the door open and ran, and she didn't stop until she reached Jack's room. He didn't seem surprised to see her there and floated down from the ceiling with a solemn expression on his ghostly face.

  


"I panicked" she said lamely. Jack just nodded and she sat down on the floor. Her back against the dirty stone wall, but she didn't care that she was freezing, dressed in nothing but a too big dressing gown and a too small nigh dress underneath and she didn't care at all that she was getting her hair and clothes dirty. She had stopped caring about these things a long time ago. Damien had always been the one to care about silly superficial things like that. She remembered with a sarcastic snort what she had been like before she met Damien. She had been just like him. Only caring about what she looked like and about talking behind the backs of the people who didn't care about make-up and clothes and who was who's date for the next school dance. Jack was patiently staring at the wall. Waiting for her to share whatever she wanted to share. 

  


"I feel dreadful. I just undid months of training myself not to flinch away when people touched me." she wanted to cry, but she had no tears to shed. They were all gone. All she felt now, was empty and angry at herself. Why was she so... so... urgh?

  


"Why am I like this?" she asked no one in particular. Jack just happened to be the innocent bystander who was unfortunate enough to be in her way.

  


"You have a right to be like this" Jack said confidently. She had gotten to know Jack. She knew perhaps more about him than anyone else. He had never been happy. He had taught Potions in his last years of living after a long life full of unpleasantness, sorrows and regrets. She felt for Jack, she really did, but her self pity was really in her way right now. 

  


"I do?" she asked, with a sigh.

  


"But of course. You've been through much. Not many would be alive still, if in your shoes..." Jack trailed off and stared at the wall.

  


"You mean to say that most people would have killed themselves by now?" She asked, wondering if the death Jack had suffered, had been at his own hands. He nodded and drifted through the wall. She felt better. Jack seemed to have that affect on her. No matter how horrible her life seemed to be, Jack's always seemed worse... she wondered for a moment if she was manipulating Jack. She decided she wasn't and started to randomly walk around the dimly lit corridors of Hogwarts. When she walked past Minerva's office door - which was slightly ajar - she heard Minerva talking, she wondered who to, and walked closer to the door. The art of walking without being heard was a difficult one and she still hadn't mastered it, Severus was teaching her, but it usually ended up as a giggling fit on her part and a glaring fit on his part. But she managed not to call too much attention to herself. 

  


"But Albus, she isn't normal, and Severus isn't having good affect on her. You must have seen how she behaves around people... I think he's rubbing on to her, and she seemed like such a sweet girl... but the company she keeps, would you just look at what I confiscated today..." Minerva was speaking in a low and fast tone.

Oh no, there was another one of those magazines? How on earth were the wizard boys getting their hands on Muggle magazines? But thinking of those boys hands and where they'd been turned out to be too much for her to handle right now so she decided to just listen.

  


"Minerva, it isn't Severus, he's actually having a very good affect on her, believe it or not he's helping. I had a long discussion with both Argus and Severus and they suspect just like I that her last boyfriend didn't treat her well at all. And she told me he was a Photographer. She looks around seventeen or eighteen in this picture, it's old... and that Photographer's name, read it backwards." Albus said quietly. 

  


Did everyone talk about her behind her back? She wondered.

  


"iknoW wherE youarE" Minerva read puzzled sounding.

  


There was silence and then a gasp and a sound of paper being dropped.

  


"How could that... that... _man _know where she is, supposing he's a Muggle..." Minerva sounded outraged.

  


"I don't know, but I think we should ask Christine about this." he looked straight at her. She gulped. "Christine, wont you join us?" Albus said, and smiled sadly. She pushed the heavy oak door enough so she could get through and look guiltily at the Headmaster.

  


"Why don't you tell us what exactly happened to you" Albus looked serious and she felt glued to the floor. She wanted to run. She wanted to run so much but something told her she'd feel better if she told them. But just as she was about to reply, Severus arrived at the door, he looked surprised and confused to see her there.

  


"Ah Severus, Christine was just about to tell her what she's been up to the past years, why don't you have a seat?" Albus said in a friendly manner. Severus raised an eyebrow at her and sat down. She looked at her lap and started speaking. At first she was hesitant and kept stopping, but then as she talked about what Damien had done to her, she felt angry and she wanted them to understand.

  


"And then one day, he left... and he said I could go where I pleased if he hadn't returned in three weeks..." she finished. Her throat was dry and she was embarrassed to look any of them in the eye. She had just admitted to them that she had been too much of a coward to leave her boyfriend after he hit her the first time and allowed him to keep her as some sort of toy. But Albus seemed to read her mind and said in a reassuring way,

  


"You couldn't have left him, you knew exactly what he was able to do you probably did the right thing staying until he **let** you leave" She looked at the old man, who did indeed look his age. His eyes were tired and sad, the usual twinkle nowhere to be found. She felt guilty. It was her story, her past that had made him sad... she looked at Minerva who looked shocked and almost tearful, but she didn't dare look at Severus. But if she looked passed the guilt she was feeling, she felt like a huge weight was off her shoulders. But on the other hand she wished she hadn't said anything... her colleagues would never look at her the same way again. She suddenly remembered something.

  


"Severus... Minerva, those magazines, wont the boys tell the whole school?" She asked, she could hear her voice sounded upset, and she was... she was upset.

"Don't worry, I obliviated them" Severus and Minerva both said at the same time distractedly. She smiled at them and hoped she looked thankful. Now she just hoped there were no more of these magazines floating around the castle. She watched as Albus burned the two magazines, apparently Severus had gone looking for her after she ran out of his room and found the magazine, still lying on the floor where she had dropped it. The flames made the photo's disappear, it was shame they couldn't make her pain go as easily...

  


Note: Please review... and thank to all who already reviewed, you're the best!

  


  


  



	5. chapter five

Note: You asked for Snape's POV, well... I'm not sure I can do that but there will be a romance soon, but Christine is very vulnerable to that right now. She just got out of seven years of being mentally and physically abused, she needs to heal and with Damien constantly tearing her to shreds, that would be difficult, but yes, there will be a S/C romance hopefully soon, but now I'm just writing what I want I planned.

  


Damien

  


by Sarah Black

  


chapter five

  


She felt so lost. And scared, she was constantly looking over her shoulder, flinching whenever passing a shadow, always expecting Damien to be standing there, with his awful smirk and those horrid eyes... She knew she needed to get over herself or she'd never get to live, but she just didn't feel the need to live, she had considered more then once - while up in the tall Astronomy Tower - to just let herself fall. How good it must feel, a few seconds of absolute freedom and then... She started as someone placed a freezing cold hand on her shoulder. She looked around, it was Jack. She managed a small smile and shrugged his hand off. She preferred not to be touched these days... It had been a week since the photo incident and she was still shaky. Thankfully none of the students seemed to know of the pictures, she wasn't concerned with her image as in the way she looked, but she hated to have everyone talking about her and knowing what she looked like without much clothes on. She had never slept with anyone besides Damien and no one had _seen_ her except for him. She supposed that his sharing her with the world by posting those photographs was a sign as well as a message, he was letting her go. But why? She just didn't understand...

  


"Christine? What are you doing here?" She looked around for the source of the voice but didn't see anyone. She assumed it had to be a ghost, probably invisible...

  


"Show yourself" she commanded.

  


It wasn't a ghost. It was Severus, he stepped out of a shadow and he looked slightly... worried, anxious? She couldn't really tell.

  


"I've been looking all over for you" He said the words sternly but he did look a bit relieved. How had he found her?

  


"How'd you find me?" She voiced her thoughts and she heard her voice was sore as well as she felt her throat burn. She had been having a bit of a fever but it wasn't anything serious.

  


"The Baron told me where to look, he said he tried to get your attention, but you didn't seem to hear him" Severus sat down beside her and joined her in staring at the opposite wall.

  


"Oh, I just, I guess I was..." as she tried to squirm away from admitting she'd been thinking about Damien, she felt his gaze fall upon her.

  


"You are just sick" he finished for her and she felt increasingly uncomfortable as his eyes dug into her.

  


"I'm not sick much..." she said weakly but she felt tired all of a sudden and just wanted to sleep. She yawned and felt sleep consume her faster and faster. She was aware of Severus saying something beside her, he was moving... she didn't want him to go. She heard her own sounds of protest and felt him pause, then nothing. 

  


When she opened her eyes she was lying in a bed in the Hospital Wing. Her head felt like stampeding rhinos had just been there. She tried to sit up but someone pushed her back. She blinked and processed the information that Madam Pomfray was there. And Poppy was giving her a brand new meaning of the word "head ache" with her constant talking. She herself, was completely dying.

  


"Severus was nice enough to bring you up here, I nearly had a heart attack when you floated in on that stretcher! Pale as a ghost..." the Madam fussed and she didn't want to yell at her to shut up since yelling meant she'd have to use her throat which felt sore.

  


"You're very ill... I could have treated this easily with some Pepper-up Potion but it's to late now, I can still give you some but it wont work quickly a day or two in bed, that's the ticket!" Poppy was fluffing her pillow talking loudly and she wanted nothing more then for Severus to come and snap at Poppy to shut the hell up. She hadn't expected it to happen but it did. Severus walked into the room and scolded Poppy for giving her a headache. How could he know? She asked herself, annoyed with him despite herself. He walked over to her bed and she noticed he was holding some parchment.

"Hi" she said as he handed her the parchment, which she took. She looked at it and couldn't make any sense of it. The concentration was increasing her head ache if that was even possible and she gave up, and throwing the sheet of parchment away she slumped against her pillow comfortably. She looked around and shuddered, she really resented hospitals. With their whiteness and cleanness... they always made her feel so filthy. As if she didn't belong in there. When she was in a hospital it was usually because of Damien and Damien was the only one who visited. She also detested doctors. They were always asking all these questions, she had lost count of how many times she had "fallen down the stairs" or "walked into a door" or something like that. And lying never got easier. She just couldn't lie convincingly when she had bruises all over her face and body, the only times Damien gave her a rest was when one of his trophy parties were coming up... It was really as if she _was _a trophy, only to be polished and showed off on certain days and the rest of the year it was kept in a dark closet... She suddenly realized Severus was trying to get her attention, she realized this only because her upper arm was numb because he had poked it so often.

  


"What?" She snapped. She hadn't meant to snap of course, but she just felt tired and frustrated and now, numb thanks to him, and she just wanted to be left alone.

  


"Well you're back from the moon I see" he said sarcastically, but his brow was wrinkled and she knew that it meant he was worried about something.

  


"You came here just to tell me that?" She snapped again, she was glad he worried, and she was getting that warm feeling again. But the hospital smell was _really_ getting to her and then there was the matter of her head feeling like it was full of rocks which were trying to crack up her scull.

  


"No, if you had read what stood on the parchment you'd know what I'm here for" He didn't look worried any longer, he just looked annoyed.

  


"Well sorry if I'm sick, sorry if my head is killing me, sorry if I've never been this tired in my life" She spoke fast and she felt guilty about lying, she had been more tired in her life, on an occasion she had buried deep within her mind. But she didn't know what to say. All she knew was that she wanted to apologize and not fight, but her mouth seemed to be talking on it's own.

  


"Well all I need is you signature, but if you're going to behave like a five year old, I suppose I can go and bother Albus" And with that he stormed out of the room, leaving her feeling absolutely terrible. Why had she behaved like that? It wasn't like her at all to say those things. She wanted to say she was sorry but another part of her brain was saying he deserved it. She wasn't his servant. She felt so foolish for thinking he had come to visit her, just to see if she was all right. But why would she want that? It was just Severus after all he could do what he pleased. It wasn't any of her business. But she really had wanted him just to stay. Sit with her and - she felt silly for thinking it, protect her. He held such a commanding presence, she always felt sorry for the students who weren't on his good side. If you didn't know him, you'd think he treated his enemies and friends the same. But that wasn't right at all. To his friends, it was hard to explain... before they had become friends, she had always felt scared around him, scared of causing him to get angry... but even after they were friends, he hardly treated her any differently but she felt... she felt glad that he was so scary sometimes, he'd be able to scare people she didn't want around away. Her head felt like it was going to explode. She needed to think about simple good things. She tried to think of anything simple and good she had done recently. And thought of the time when she went to the Zoo with her school, she had only been ten and she had seen a Gorilla which in her opinion looked just like one of her teachers. She giggled and her head hurt even more as she laughed. She tried to think of something else, but in her teens the word "fun" meant loud music, uncomfortable clothes and saying nasty things about other people... so she didn't think about that as it would just make her head hurt worse. All of a sudden she thought of a time where Damien hadn't started hurting her yet... he had taken her to the beach and they had picnicked in the golden sand and watched the sunset... it really had been nice her first few months with Damien... She wanted to cry but was afraid her head couldn't take that. Thankfully Poppy came over a few minutes later with a Headache cure. 

  


*

  


She was sitting at the staff table staring into space. She was admiring the stars which were already twinkling on the velvet black night sky looking like diamonds and pearl which had fallen of some noble woman's neck and shattered all over the place. She loved stars. She remembered staring out the window while Damien having had enough of her lay sleeping beside her, she'd stay up the whole night just following the moon and watching the stars... and every time she saw a shooting star she'd wish for someone to save her. It had always been like an oddly twisted fairy tale for her. She was the princess stuck in the tower with the black knight making sure she'd never get away. And now she was really inside a magical castle, except she wasn't the princess and there was no black knight. But there were dragons. Hagrid was aloof with happiness ranting about all the 'cute' dragons some Charlie had shown him. Apparently the dragons where here to protect the castle from some dark wizard. Severus had offered to tell her the details but she found that she didn't really want to know. After all the darkness in her life she had found that ignorance was bliss. She stared at her plate wondering if the meal she was eating was cold yet. Maybe if she waited a bit longer Albus would let her leave. He was being quite the pest. Telling her she didn't eat enough that she was losing weight... who cares? Not her. All she wanted to do right now was not to be bothered by this damned owl! An owl? It was putting feathers in her goblet... it had a letter. She took the letter away from the owl. She felt as if she were in a trance, not really noticing what she was doing. Just moving her fingers, picking up the knife, ripping open the black seal... there was only one word on the parchment. It said "Triss" she looked at the word knowing exactly what it meant but she just didn't know what to do. What could she do? There was nothing she could do for now. She'd just have to wait for one of the others to notice how she was no doubt shaking. But she just felt so numb. No point. There's no point. Why was she even here? Why didn't she just go back to Damien and hope he wasn't too angry at her. She thought for a second and realized by what means the letter had reached her. How did he know about owl post? Maybe he _was _a wizard? No, it couldn't be. Severus had told her about curses made to inflict pain, if Damien knew there were such things he would have hurt her that way. Maybe he knew someone who was magical... or was like her, just knew of the magical world and accepted it. 

  


"Triss?" 

  


She almost screamed as she heard a dark voice say her hated nickname. But she settled for breathing in sharply and throwing the parchment into a flaming torch. She watched the flames lick the parchment and she felt hot with anger and then chilled with fear. She had to get out of here. Damien would be coming to get her soon and he might hurt the children. She felt dizzy. She had only just gotten out of the Hospital Wing and she had been told she shouldn't get upset. But how could she not be upset by this? 

  


"What does Triss mean?" The same dark voice asked and she winced at the sound. She also realized it was Severus who was talking. He was sitting beside her and she turned to look at him. She couldn't see him clearly. Everything was turning into a mess of colors and jumbled sounds could be heard. Her head started to hurt and she tried to focus. Slowly Severus's face became clear and she could see he was looking at her with his head slightly tilted to the side seemingly deep in thought.

  


"Triss is the nickname Damien gave me" the words felt like poison on her tongue and she hurriedly spat them out.

  


"I see" Severus said shortly. He went back to poking his food with his fork. She went back to poking her food with her fork. Should she tell him what this meant? Or did he already know? She decided to tell him.

  


"Damien knows where I am and he wants something from me. I don't know what but I know there's something he wants and I have it" She took a deep breath. Severus probably thought she was paranoid now.

  


"But how do you know this?" Severus looked confused. A look that didn't suit him at all. Severus was supposed to look a bit grumpy, maybe worried or even pissed off. But confusion didn't go with his 'look'.

  


"He let me go, that means he thought he didn't need me anymore... but he must have realized he actually does need me so he wants me back. He was quiet for a while when he was looking for me, but I can't hide from him. It's not possible" She hoped no one was listening. She sounded a bit emotional and sort of maybe hysterical while Severus looked very calm. People where known to take these sort of things the wrong way.

  


"You're making sense now, but how can one word tell you so much?" Severus's expression was thoughtful.

  


"The word hardly matters it's how I received the letter, he went into the trouble of learning of my location which means learning of the wizard community which means he learnt of owl post and he used an owl to deliver this and the word... it means... this is... a reminder of the past. He wont let me forget. She wanted to get out of the Great Hall so she could bury her head into a pillow or something maybe someone and cry and feel comfort and safe and she just needed for the pain to go away. But of course, it wouldn't, the pain would never go. She'd never be allowed to forget such a horrid past and it was all her fault. If she hadn't run away from her parents. If she hadn't been so stupid... she stood up and walked quickly out of the Great Hall, all the time feeling two sets of eyes on her back. Most likely Albus and Severus... she thought. And she wished, she wished someone would go after her. Someone to care. Someone to comfort her to protect her. She wasn't being very independent. She knew that. But just look where independence had gotten her? Out of her parents home, into Damien's arms. She didn't want to be independent, she just wanted someone to protect her. When she finally reached her room she threw herself on to her bed but the tears wouldn't come. She just felt shocked. Too much was happening at once... she needed to focus on one thing at a time. She was still a bit sick. What had Poppy said? Take the potion? What potion? She looked around her room and tried to remember the rest of what the older witch had told her. It wasn't easy recalling because all she seemed to remember was herself wishing she could get away from the hospital and away from Poppy... it all came back to Severus. He'd bring her the potion, whichever potion it might be, probably some sort of healing potion she thought... of course it was a healing potion! Duh... she shook her head and tried to think of something else. Her duties as a caretaker where suffering and cleaning was being ignored except for some students doing detention. Some of the teachers had taken up stalking the corridors while she was ill and that seemed to be working out. She wondered about Christmas. It was only the beginning of November but still... whom would she give presents to? Jack maybe... what do you give a ghost? Her pondering was interrupted by a knock on the door. She looked at it for a second wondering why the person outside, probably Severus wasn't coming in. She realized she hadn't given a reply so she hurriedly yelled for him to come in. She had been right, it was Severus and he was carrying a goblet. The headache cure was to be served cool and the goblet wasn't steaming. But there was a yellowish glow emitting from it. He handed her the goblet without words and she took it and drank from it obediently. The throbbing in her head stopped and the cool taste of sugar and lemon was left in her mouth. That last bit caused her to wonder, the potion she had received from Poppy had been horrid tasting.

  


"It tastes good" she commented lamely.

  


He smirked.

  


"The one I got from Poppy wasn't as good"

  


"That's because I don't bother to add a few extra ingredients to potions meant for students" he said, a smirk still firmly in place.

  


"So you did this just for me? Why?" She thought about it, why would he bother to do that for her, or would he do that for any staff member, just not the students...

  


"You're special" he was being sarcastic again, she wondered if it was his way of dealing with things.

  


"Just like everybody else" She said, matching his sarcasm. Maybe if he were the sort of person who laughed, he would have... but she doubted he would.

  


He sat down beside her. She moved away. She didn't think to do it, she just did... reflex. He sighed. 

  


"You have got to stop doing that you know" He said, and shook his head sadly. "I mean I'd understand if it was just around me, but you do this with everyone... even Albus and it really bothers him to have you flinch at everything everybody does. " 

  


She felt bad. Real bad. She liked Albus. He was nice to her. Even if he did bother her about her eating habits... he just cared about her. She wasn't used to having all these people caring about her. It was odd.

  


"I can't help it" She said probably sounding very pathetic.

  


"I mean I'd understand if it was just me, but you do this with everyone... even Hagrid and Albus" He was smirking a bit and had an eyebrow raised, but his eyes were sad. He was used to people flinching away from him? That must be bad... she didn't know if to sympathize or not. Severus wouldn't appreciate her sympathy anyhow. So she decided to, well she didn't actually decide. Oh and she thought she _had _been indecisive... anyway she just looked at her knees which were both pressed to her chest. What should she say? It was starting to be one of those horrid uncomfortable silences, well to her anyway. Severus seemed to be in his own world - just staring at something at the other side of the room.

  


"I don't know what to say" she admitted finally, just to break the silence.

  


"You don't have to say anything." Severus snapped, obviously his thinking moment of the day was over and he was back in mean mode. He swept out of the room.

  


"sorry" she whispered. She didn't want him to be angry at her. Was he angry at her? She always felt like he was angry at her. Or maybe it was just her... she had grown used to someone (namely Damien) being angry at her for some reason that she couldn't get rid of the feeling... 

  


She started to get ready for her prowl as she called it. Albus had said she needn't go tonight, that Severus would take care of it. But she didn't want to just lie in bed thinking about what Damien needed her for. She needed to **do** something. She went over to her mirror. It still refused to speak to her after the photo thing. But she didn't care for her mirror talking so she didn't mind. She started to absentmindedly comb her hair. Her hair was very tangled as she had been in the hospital without the luxury of a hairbrush for a few days now. And she thought she might have a shower as well. She could still smell the hospital stench on her. 

  


*

  


It was nearing four in the morning when she walked past Albus's office. She felt extremely tired and empty. She leaned against a tapestry and closed her eyes. She hadn't found a single student out of bed. Except the couple in the Trophy Room, but she didn't bother them, as they seemed to be having a fight. Damien came to her mind. It wasn't a particular moment just his face. He was smiling but his eyes were cold. He held out his hand for her to take. She didn't move.

  


"you'll fall if you don't let me help you" his word echoed strangely. All of a sudden she realized she was hanging off a cliff and she couldn't hear anything beneath her. She looked at Damien who seemed to be turning into mist. She let go off the cliff. And she was falling. And everything went black. 

  


She woke up. She was lying on the floor and a large black dog was standing over her. When she sat up quickly the dog ran off. She looked around, slightly confused. What was going on? Where was she? She noticed a large statue of a gargoyle. Near Albus's office... she looked at her wristwatch. It was nearly six AM! She had better get back to her room. She needed some sleep after all and sleeping and having a nightmare didn't count in her opinion. But what did it mean? This dream was different. She had been given a choice. Fall or take Damien's hand. She had chosen to fall in the dream. But she still felt like the dream hadn't finished. Maybe it hadn't finished. Maybe someone would save her... she was being silly. She needed some proper sleep. When she managed to relax in her bed, she thought of the dog. Who had he been? Was he owned by a student? Dogs weren't allowed at Hogwarts... she'd have to give the owner detention...

  


Note: Hope you like! Please R&R 

  


  


  


  


  


  


  



	6. chapter six

Note: Sorry it took so long... tests and stuff, you know how it is.

  


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters the places or anything else you might spot in there which isn't mine.

  


Damien

  


by Sarah Black

  


Chapter six.

  


Sitting in Severus's office, wondering why she had been called there, she thought about the large black dog she'd seen a while back. And that was the problem. She had seen it a while back, but she hadn't spotted it ever since. Weird. 

  


"Christine" She looked up. Severus was sitting down at his desk. He was holding a bubbling goblet. He drank whatever was in the goblet, made a face and then looked at her.

  


"What was that?" she asked before he could even utter a word.

  


"nothing" he muttered " I asked you here because you need to see this. He threw an old newspaper cutting on the desk. Curious, she leaned to get a better look at whatever it said on the paper. It had something to do with a kidnapping and blood and someone everyone seemed to know who was, because he was referred to as 'You Know Who' she shuddered. The photo did not help. It was a little girl. Lying dead in a puddle of blood.

  


"What is that?" She asked, trying to sound less disgusted then she actually was.

  


"That is young Miss Boot. She has a brother who is here in his fifth year. Their mother was also murdered but the father disappeared. They believe he's been kidnapped." He said and he was doing his furrowed brow thing again. He was worried... but it seemed to be old news.

  


"But isn't that an old newspaper clip? I mean why should we be..." he cut her off.

  


"Mr. Boot of Ravenclaw has disappeared as well. The school doesn't know yet. But you have to know what's going on. Let me tell you about Voldemort" Severus's voice was demanding and he was starting to frighten her. Her expression must have shown her fear, because he softened his voice and sighed.

  


"You need to know what's going on. If Voldemort is getting inside the castle you may not be safe anymore. Voldemort hates Muggles, and you are one." He sounded so much like a teacher it would probably have amused her if the situation was different. He only seemed to do funny things when everything was serious. 

  


"All right, you may fill me in. But spare me the details please" She said giving in. Who would not give in if placed under that cold and black stare?

  


He talked for seemingly ages and she could hardly believe, one wizard could accomplish all of what this Voldemort person had.

  


"So Harry Potter, the Harry Potter I gave detention, is a hero?" She said, and she noted that Severus seemed slightly annoyed with the 'in awe' tone in her voice.

  


"Yes. He's actually just a trouble maker. Just like his father..." the dark expression on his features warned her not to pry, but she couldn't help herself.

  


"You knew the boys' father?" She asked, careful not to use the tone in which she had spoken earlier.

  


"Yes" he answered grudgingly.

  


She remembered the fight he and Minerva had fought over the Prefects. Later she had come to understand that there were usually two Prefects from each house. But as it was a known fact that Voldemort valued Prefects and Head Boys and Girls as good Death Eaters... well they weren't taking any chances now that Voldemort, apparently was back. But now she had a headache. She really hadn't wanted to know these things, but she supposed it was better than being completely clueless. Although she wished she could go back to sweet ignorance. But words can't be taken back. Once they've been said there is no way to reverse the progress. Well maybe there was some magic solution but she wasn't the biggest fan of magic since (not meaning to of course) Neville had hit her with some charm which made her turn a sickly shade of green for ten minutes. She hadn't given the poor boy detention as it had been an accident. But she still avoided meeting him. She realized she was still sitting inside Severus's office and she stood up waved bye and left. She walked around not really thinking about anything until she saw it again. The large black dog. She followed it as it trotted towards Albus's office. Maybe Albus owned the dog? She decided to ask. But first she would follow this dog. The dog seemed totally oblivious to her presence and for that she thanked the stars. When they both arrived at the stone gargoyle something happened which made her want to scream. The dog started to change into a human. The thin dark-ish man whispered something to the statue (the password most likely) and went inside. She followed before the statue closed and waited at the bottom of the moving staircase. She heard a knock and she stepped onto the escalator thingy. The door had been left a bit ajar and she was able to listen to what they were saying.

  


"I just talked to Harry at Hogsmade..." That man knew Harry? Which Harry? Perhaps Harry Potter?

  


"Yes, yes, good. How is he? I talked to him a few days back. He'd insist on being just fine" Albus's voice said, and she noted he sounded more tired than usual.

  


"I know, he's so much like James... anyway, why was I summoned?" 

  


"Arabella, Mundungus and Remus should be arriving any minute now, we're having a meeting."

  


"Why didn't you say so?"

  


"I can't send such information via owl. You know that perfectly well Sirius" So that mans name was Sirius. What an odd name...

  


"But before they arrive I'd like you to meet the person who just followed you here" Albus said and she could just see the twinkle in his eyes in her head. Then the meaning of his words struck her. He knew she was here!

  


"Christine, why don't you come in?" Albus called and she could hear Sirius mumble something that sounded like a swearword.

  


She pushed the door open and stepped inside. The man named Sirius was standing in a dark corner of the office with his arms crossed. She tried to smile but she felt intimidated by him, so her smile turned out as a bit of a sneer. To much time spent with Severus...

  


"Sirius, this is Christine Luan, she's our new caretaker. Christine this is Sirius Black" She looked at the place where Sirius was standing uncertainly. Then she looked at Albus who just smiled.

  


There was something about this whole scene that reminded her of a movie she had once seen. She couldn't really place it though.

  


She walked towards Sirius and stretched out her hand. He took it after a pause, but let go of it very quickly. Her mind went over all the things she was expected to say when Damien interduced her to people. She was trying to chose between saying 'charmed' or 'it's a pleasure' when Sirius spoke.

  


"She's a Muggle" It wasn't a question. She felt a bit angry. But she wasn't about to show him. He was right after all. Albus confirmed his statement with a nod and his smile faded a bit.

  


"I prefer to be called Christine if you don't mind" she said tartly.

  


"Well excuse me... _Christine_" He said and glared. This Sirius was beginning to remind her an awful lot of one of Damien's friends. He had also had a dark complexion and he had also glared a lot. His name had been... what? Noah? Who cares? Funny, Severus had never reminded her of Noah.

  


"Thank you" She said and did her best to not cower away from him. She had to learn how to do this. If she was going to be frightened of every single guy on the planet who had black hair and glared a lot. She was in for a lot of afraid-ness. But it was hard not to cower when you remembered the things Damien had done to her and what this Noah had most likely done to his wife or girlfriend as well. She suddenly felt nauseous. She looked around the office, hoping to see a glass of water somewhere. She didn't find what she was looking for though. But she did notice the Phoenix. She had dreamt about a Phoenix once...

  


"Christine, I trust Severus has told you about Voldemort" Albus said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

  


"Mmmm" She murmured and turned to look at the Phoenix again. It was very beautiful. She reached out to stroke it but it made an indignant sound and flew over to Albus and sat on his shoulder.

  


"I'm sorry my dear. Fawkes here isn't very comfortable with non-magic folk. It's nothing personal." He smiled and started to talk to Sirius in low tones. She decided to leave, and as she opened the door she met a fist suspended in mid air, most likely ready to knock on the door. It was an old man, he looked about Arabella's age, and speaking of her, Arabella stepped into her line of vision. She hurried away so she wouldn't get stuck discussing various cat brands.

  


She was walking away from the office just minding her own business when she crashed into someone. She looked up expecting it to be Severus... _again _she always seemed to be crashing into him. It was really weird. But it wasn't Severus. It was some stranger. Her first thought was: He looks like a nice guy.

  


He smiled a tired smile and his eyes seemed to ask the question which followed before he was able to speak.

  


"Are you all right?" his voice was soft.

  


"Fine, I'm fine... really. I'm good. Bye" She hurried away. Even if he seemed really nice. He still creeped her out a bit. Maybe she just wasn't a people person... she thought. Then she almost stopped to laugh. There weren't words strong enough to describe how much she wasn't a people person... Lady Gray or just Rachel drifted by her and they talked for a moment. Well she did the talking, Rachel did the listening. The usual... how was your day, mine was terrible... I like your dress... blah blah 

  


"do you know Sirius Black?" She finally got to the point.

  


Rachel nearly fell out of the air. 

  


"Murderer" Rachel whispered. 

  


"He's a murderer?" She asked, _but why would Albus summon him to his office then?_ Rachel nodded.

  


"But Albus seems to trust him... I mean..." she thought about it. She had better not get involved in something like this. She best stay out of it. If Albus was starting some sort of Mafia it was none of her business. She just had to tell Severus though...

  


"Severus? Severus, are you in here somewhere?" She yelled when she reached his office.

  


"What is it?" Severus yawned.

  


"Can I come in?" She asked urgently. He moved out of the way and she walked into the dingy office. 

  


"I was just in Albus's office and guess who was there!" She said, momentarily forgetting she wasn't supposed to behave like a five year old at Christmas. But she was excited, maybe she finally knew something he didn't!

  


"Albus?" Severus said, in a mocking sort of way.

  


"Well of course he was there, but guess who else." She crossed her arms. The amount of sarcasm this man could manage... it was probably a world record somewhere...

  


"Sirius Black?" He yawned again. He looked very tired. How come she hadn't noticed it before in his office?

  


"How'd you guess?" She asked, slightly put out that it didn't surprise him.

  


"There's a meeting, I'm supposed to go as well, but I thought I'd skip" he said airily.

  


"But Rachel said Black was a murderer" she felt very confused. She_ knew_ she should have just stayed out of it.

  


"He's innocent." Severus answered. She had never seen him this annoyed. He looked as if he had just swallowed a lemon whole. Which she knew from, almost personal experience was extremely gross. But how'd he know this Sirius guy was innocent? How'd Albus know, and why didn't Rachel know? Did the students know as well perhaps?

  


"oh" she bit her lip and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. She looked up to find Severus looking at her strangely.

  


"what?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

  


"Your eyes" he murmured and walked closer. She had the urge to back away. But it was as if her feet had been nailed to the ground.

  


"You're supposed to have gray eyes" he said. Still coming nearer. She wanted to say something witty. Maybe she should tell him he deserved a medal for stating the obvious... but she felt spell bound by _his_ eyes. Those dark eyes. She could see that they weren't actually black. But an extremely dark brown. She closed her eyes and could see Damien laughing he was walking towards her with that horrible glint in his eyes, She opened her eyes and closed them again there was Damien striking her, Damien caressing her she felt like Damien was there, watching her... mocking her ready to strike. She tried to push him away. She had to get away from him, she could feel him... he was there Damien was there. She had to run. And so she did. She ran through the dungeons without a sound, but she didn't notice how soundlessly she was running, she just needed air. She couldn't breathe. Out of the Entrance Hall and into the night. She took in big gulps of the ice cold air the air stung her lungs and her neck felt soar, not 'sick' soar... just 'difficult to breathe' sort of soar. And she heard her hated nickname being called. 

  


"Triss..." it was more of a hiss than anything and she felt herself relax. She stopped and just listened to the beautiful voice... She felt the sound moving through her making her calm. She felt very good, it was the sort of feeling you get after you eat some creamy chocolate ice cream. Then she felt compelled to go to the voice, she knew there would be an even happier feeling there, a feeling that would take all her pain away... and then she started running towards it. Into the forest, past some strange looking animals. She just had to follow the voice. She had to get to it or terrible things would happen. She couldn't trust the others they wanted to make her depressed, they wanted to take her away from him...

  


"Trisssss..." the hiss was louder now. She could see stars through the tree tops. She had to be nearing a clearing. And sure enough, she entered a clearing and standing there by a tall oak was him. Looking perfect. So angelic. So beautiful. She closed her eyes, only to see that time at the beach, watching the sun set... lying in the sand... kissing... she wanted to kiss him... She had to get to him, he'd make her forget... he'd make her comfortable and happy and he even looked like he was waiting for her. She knew she had to let him have her. She belonged to him... she had to come to him. Damien held his arm out and she ran into his embrace. He stroked her hair and she savored the feeling of his soft fingertips brushing her skin, sending chills down her spine... he kissed her forehead with softer than soft lips and she felt her knees go weak and she closed her eyes. She remembered when he had taken her shopping, he had bought her the most beautiful expensive gown in the whole shop... They had gone to the dance and they had danced to every song, all the other girls had stared at her dress enviously... He kissed her lips, she eagerly kissed back she felt hot and cold both at the same time. She just knew that he couldn't stop... she felt his lips travel down to her neck where he kissed her several times, sending waves of electricity through her body... and she felt a sharp pain, as he bit her. She gasped out long fangs buried themselves into her skin, the pain was unbearable, shivering... she felt herself shivering... But now she felt a wonderful floating sensation her blood was washing through her body it was tickling her veins everything was moving and she was flying. Through closed eyes she saw beautiful clouds everywhere shaped like hearts and bunnies and there were birds singing beautiful songs, heavenly songs. She wanted to stay there forever... but of course it stopped. She felt cold, it was cold as she had never experienced before. It was a freezing biting cold. And her veins felt filled with frost instead of the warm blood and screams of pain and anguish flooded her mind and she knew it was her own voice, she felt wet... Blood... blood everywhere... she opened her eyes and saw Damien. Damien... she had to get away! She had to run... She had to... everything blurred together and soon there was nothing. Just gray and cold. Bitter cold. She became aware of the fact that she was alone. All alone. She was in the Forbidden Forest, where it was so dark. The darkness was trying to swallow her and she was completely alone... they'd never find her. She would die, she was doomed to die and now she just felt so tired, so very very tired... she had to sleep... she wanted to sleep. Sleep... sleep... 

  


  


  


  



	7. chapter seven

**Author note: Thanks so much all who reviewed! Reviews are good and you should definitely keep making them...**

  


**Disclaimer: I'm very aware of the fact that all the characters and places from the Harry Potter books aren't mine. They are the property of Warner Brothers or JKR or someone else. Just not me.**

  


**Damien**

**by Sarah Black**

**chapter seven**

  


She got her hearing back before her sight. She became aware of the fact that she was lying in a bed in a hospital. How'd she know it was a hospital? That's easy. The smell. It smelled so clean. She tried not to breathe the smell in, but it was difficult. She finally gave up and took a deep breath. It felt good, but her body ached as well as her lungs so breathing proved to be an excellent way to bring on a coughing fit. After she had coughed for what seemed like hours she was able to relax a bit. She wondered what she was doing in the hospital. She closed her eyes and strained her memory but she couldn't recall anything that might be the cause of her stay in the dark room which smelled (to her) bad. She decided to sleep on it and had almost fallen asleep when the sound of voices came to her.

  


"Are you sure?" A female voice inquired.

  


"Quite sure. There was blood everywhere and she had bite marks on her neck, what else do you need as proof?" An angry male voice snapped. Severus, she thought. She felt somehow better now that she knew he was there.

  


"You know perfectly well that sometimes things aren't what they seem, and what were you doing in the forest that late anyway?" The loud female voice screeched. She thought it was probably madam Pomfray or Minerva.

  


"It's none of your business Minerva" Severus was annoyed an tired at the sound of it. And it was Minerva who was with him... she wondered what they were doing, arguing in the corridor in the middle of the night. But as her head started hurting from thinking about it, she just decided to drop the subject.

  


"I have a right to know. I am the deputy headmistress!" Said Minerva, she was in a rage. How long had they been talking? 

  


"Will you shut up! Potter's in there, probably listening to every word." Severus hissed and their voices got muffled. He had probably closed some door. Potter was here? Why? She searched for the answer but she didn't find one. She had nearly fallen asleep again when she heard more voices.

  


"Ron, I think it's safe to come out now" Harry Potter's voice whispered. She could here as soft material got dragged by the floor and a second voice spoke.

  


"What do you reckon Harry? This Luan girl, is she more trouble than she's worth, or what?" The voice of Ronald Weasley whispered, and she could just see the smirk in her head.

  


"Ron, don't be a git, Snape thinks she's been attacked by a Vampire. That's serious business" She could hardly hear them anymore, they were talking so quietly.

  


"I know, I was just kidding you know." Ron's voice sounded apologetic, the two lowered their voices even more and for a while all she could hear were annoying whispers. Then Ron's voice got a bit louder.

  


"How's your leg?" He asked casually. Harry must have hurt his leg she thought. How'd he manage that? 

  


"I'm fine, that Bludger was really something" A Bludger? What's a Bludger?

  


"hey, at least you caught the Snitch!" Snitch? What Snitch? She thought for a moment and found a feint memory of Severus saying something about a Snitch... yes, there it was! Some wizard sport which had a long name...

  


"Yeah,"

  


"I had better go, I promised Hermione I wouldn't be long"

  


"All right then, tell her I say hi"

  


"I'll do that, thanks for loaning me the cloak" Cloak? She thought it was odd Harry was loaning Ron his cloak, surely Ron had his own...

  


"No problem" She could hear a door open and close. Maybe she'd be allowed to sleep now? She waited for something else to happen. But when everything was quiet except for Harry moving around in his cot, she finally fell asleep.

  


She was walking, no running. And it was dark. There were horrid yellow eyes everywhere. Staring at her. And she knew all the eyes came with mouths and horrible fangs. They were just waiting to chop her up in little pieces. Everything started spinning all the yellow eyes changed into a blur and then there was the laughter. The cold horrible laughter. And all the yellow started melting together and slowly a man was coming into view. It was Damien. Black eyes, dirty blond hair and a cruel smile. He walked towards her. She had to run, she had to get away. But she couldn't move he had her trapped. He reached a hand out and one of his fingers touched her cheek. 

  


"I'm going to kill you soon." He said calmly. She screamed. It was a scream that could make your blood go cold, send chills down your spine and hurt your ears. And it woke her up.

  


She opened her eyes to find to green orbs staring into her own misty gray ones.

  


"Are you all right?" Asked the boy. Harry... it was Harry. Was she all right? No, she wasn't all right. Everything that happened was being played fast forward in her head. She could see herself running through the forest. Kissing Damien, Damien biting her. The blood... the cold... 

  


"I'm fine. Go back to sleep" She snarled at him. What right did he have to pry into her business? Why wouldn't they just leave her alone? She needed to breathe... she reminded herself that he was just a boy. He didn't know her. He didn't know anything. She shouldn't be too mean to him. But he didn't seem to be upset. Nor was he paying any heed to her command. 

  


"You were screaming" His eyes were piercing. She was trapped. She couldn't lie and she couldn't tell the truth. What could she do? 

  


"Just a nightmare" She tried to sound like it was no big deal. But when you keep seeing yourself being bitten by someone inside your head it's difficult to sound casual.

  


"When I have nightmares, they're never 'just nightmares' you'll feel better if you talk about it." The boy said and tilted his head to the left.

  


"I believe you." She uttered softly. She wanted to talk about it. But with someone she could trust. Not some boy who didn't know her at all.

  


"You don't have to talk to me, just someone... Dumbledore maybe?" He looked uncomfortable. And come to think of it. It must be really odd for him to be trying to consul the school caretaker who he didn't know. He was being very nice to her. A warm feeling filled her and banished Damien from her head for a second. How she wished things had always been like this. Just nice. All she wanted was to things to be nice. No death threats from her ex-boyfriend through her dreams. No getting bitten in the Forbidden Forest by her ex-boyfriend. Just peace and quiet. Was that too much to ask? She let out a sigh.

  


"I'll talk to someone. Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself" She had never lied more in one sentence for about seven years. Harry seemed happy and turned to go back to bed. He was unsteady and was leaning on a stick. But they heard a sound which made them both freeze. The door opened.

  


"Potter" She realized the owner of the voice was Severus in a matter of milliseconds. "What are you doing. Get back to bed" He snapped at poor Harry who hurried back to his cot. She felt sorry for the boy who was in obvious pain. He had gone to the trouble of getting out of bed for her. Because he was worried about her. If only everyone was that kind. She thought with regret. She saw Severus glare at Harry before he walked over to her. He reached for his wand. Muttered a spell and waved his wand a little. Then he pocketed it again. He sat down in the chair beside her bed.

  


"You're awake" He sighed.

  


"duh" she answered and smiled. All of a sudden the wave of happiness she had been riding on disappeared and she could feel pain all over her body. She felt as though she had just crossed Damien when he was in a very bad mood. Which she reminded herself wasn't very far from the truth.

  


"What happened?" He asked quietly. Should she tell him the truth? Would he believe her? She decided to try him. She just hoped he wouldn't laugh at her. Which he probably wouldn't, considering he never laughed.

  


"I met Damien in the forest. I can hardly remember it. I remember kissing him and then he bit me..." Her headache, which she had been trying to ignore magnified and she whimpered a bit.

  


"Really? Damien? He's a Vampire?" Severus looked completely bewildered. And she didn't blame him. She hadn't thought about it like that. Was Damien a Vampire? He definitely hadn't been a Vampire last time she saw him...

  


"Yeah..." Her body seemed to be protesting to the conservation. Because the pain was getting to the point where she started crying out.

  


"You need something for the pain?" He asked seriously. At that moment she decided he was her favorite person in the world. Especially if he could make the pain stop within the next two seconds. She nodded. And he reached inside his robes. A phial with white milky looking liquid appeared in his hand and he opened it for her. She took it and drank. It was deliciously cold, but not so delicious tasting. But at that point she didn't care. A numbing coldness raced through her and left her feeling relaxed and tired.

  


"Thank you" she sighed.

  


"was Potter bothering you just now?" Severus asked all of a sudden.

  


"Far from it. I had a nightmare... I guess he must have heard me scream or something. He was really nice about it..." talking was difficult. She was extremely tired after all.

  


"You had a nightmare?" Severus asked, he sounded alarmed.

  


"Yeah... Damien was there, he threatened to kill me" She yawned sleepily. She couldn't think. Her heart felt heavy for some reason. And she was scared. But most of all she was tired. Tired in her body. Tired in her soul. Tired in her mind.

  


"Good night" Severus said, he sounded very worried. But he seemed to sense how tired she was. And for that she thanked the stars.

  


*

  


She woke up to whispers. She recognized Albus's and Severus's voices.

  


"She has to be able to protect herself... don't Muggles have anything they protect themselves with? Don't they have those metal wand things?" Severus was just ranting. He got like this sometimes, when he was frustrated and knew he couldn't control something. He'd just rant on and on...

  


"I'll talk to Sirius, but I'm worried that even if she does have protection... she's no match for a Dupre" Albus sighed. Dupre? A Dupre? Damien's father's name had been Dupre... Damien's last name was Dupre... what did that have to do with anything. It seemed to mean something to the two men because they had gone all quiet.

  


"A Dupre? Are you sure?" Severus finally broke the silence. He sounded amazed.

  


"Quite sure. You told me what she told you. It has hypnotism written all over it. It has Dupre written all over it. If she's been chosen by that Damien person as a bond... I'm afraid there's little I can do." Albus was talking about her as if she were already dead. It was giving her the creeps.

  


"But there has to be something..." Severus sounded like someone who had discovered that he had stranded on an island and the life raft just floated away.

  


"At this stage of the process. I just wish I'd figured it out earlier. I wonder why she never mentioned his last name. It would have possibly saved her..." Albus's voice made her want to cry.

  


"What stage? What process? I don't understand. I hardly know anything about the Dupre's... except they were supporters and helpers of Grindelwald... and..." Albus cut him off.

  


"I'll explain later. Christine is up." Albus said kindly but firmly.

  


The curtains were pulled open and she came face to face with Albus and Severus. Albus seemed surprised to see her, but Severus didn't miss a beat.

  


"Christine... you look. Worse then usual..." Albus coughed awkwardly. She must look terrible to get him to react that way. Unconsciously her hand went to her hair, it was a mess, as she had suspected. But she didn't really care. 

  


"I'm sorry, not very gentlemanly of me to say that, please forgive me." Albus apologized as he came to his senses.

  


"It's all right" She tried to say. But her voice was raspy. It hurt to talk. 

  


"It's a side affect of the painkilling potion I gave you. It'll go away in a minute. Just try not to speak too much" Severus muttered.

  


She nodded and gave him a weak smile. She closed her eyes as Albus turned to speak to Severus and Damien waited for her behind her eyelids.

  


"Good morning" The Damien said mockingly.

  


"Go away" She thought at him.

  


"Now is that any way to great me?" Damien started walking around her.

  


"What do you want?" She asked despairingly.

  


"I just have to kill you... then I'll live forever, doesn't that sound like a great deal?" Damien put his hands on her shoulders and started shaking her. His voice started sounding far away and it echoed...

  


"wake up... Christine wake up"

  


She realised it wasn't Damien who was shaking her. It was Severus. Her throat hurt like hell. It was as if she'd just spent the last few minutes screaming herself hoarse.

  


"You were screaming, what happened?" Severus managed to ask before Madam Pomfray pushed him aside and started asking her something. But she couldn't speak. She was too terrified to speak. She could hear Damien's words echo in her head. 'I have to kill you...' just over and over again. And his eyes. Those cold eyes. She knew she was shaking. Probably shock. She felt Poppy wrap her in a blanket and she felt a bit better after being enveloped in the warmth. She was going to die. Damien would kill her. She just knew it. What chances did she have against him? He was so strong and she was so weak. And he still had her heart. She hated the fact that she still loved him. But she did. She didn't exactly know why. But she did. She had been making progress though. She had been starting to feel a bit more in control. But now she was back to being like Winky. She needed help... but no one could help her. She was so alone. Even when she was surrounded by people. She was all alone. She curled up into a little ball and tried to cry. But the tears wouldn't come. She was just shaking.

  


*

  


It was two days before the end of term and she hadn't bought one single Christmas present. She had a good excuse though. Even if they had let her out of the hospital wing rather soon. She wasn't allowed out of the castle. She had a very strong feeling of being trapped. But sitting on the East balcony helped. The East balcony was a place Rachel had showed her a couple of days earlier. She had been complaining about not getting outside and as an answer Rachel had started to lead her somewhere. The East balcony was the perfect place to watch the sunrise and she often went there in the morning. She hardly ever slept anyway because whenever she closed her eyes Damien would taunt her. She avoided all contact with mirrors and humans. She was hardly speaking to Severus. Most of her time was spent wondering around the castle or down in the kitchens with the house elves. She also spent a considerable amount of time with the ghosts. And surprisingly she found that she had taken to following Peeves around. Talking to him about anything. He was able to take her mind of other things. Like Damien. She was constantly looking over her shoulder. Always expecting him to be there. With his mocking smirk. Waiting for her to do something. Waiting for her to make a wrong move. And then he'd strike. When she least suspected... she shuddered and hugged her coat to her. It was getting way to big for her. And she knew it wasn't because of magic. She wasn't eating. Much to Albus's dismay. She just couldn't come into the Great Hall and whenever she ate in the kitchens... she didn't eat much of it. She drank water. That was about it. She looked down from her place on the balcony. It was a very long fall. Maybe she should just jump? It would end it all. All the pain... all the horrible pain. The nightmares would disappear. She'd be able to just rest in peace. She stood up and walked to the very edge. It was an awfully long way to the ground. And there were just rocky cliffs beneath her. Then there was the lake farther away. She jumped. It was a wonderful and terrible feeling both in one to fly through the air. But all of a sudden she changed her mind. She didn't want to die. But it was too late. The rocks were coming nearer and nearer... she closed her eyes. But the crash didn't come. She was panting and it was difficult to breathe the air was so cold. She opened her eyes. Slowly everything came into focus. She was inside something black and purple. It was an orb-ish thing. It made a strange sound and she noticed that she was drifting away from the rocks. She was now over the lake. An echoing voice spoke. 

  


"Don't do that again. I'll kill you soon enough. Don't go and spoil all my fun now." And with that the orb vanished and she was drenched. She was drowning now. In the middle of the lake. It was cold... she couldn't breathe. She had to get out of here... where was up? She tried to yell for help but all that came out were some bubbles. They floated somewhere and she followed them. Her lungs ached and she knew that if she didn't reach the surface soon she'd die. She didn't have enough power to get herself to the surface and she waved her arms around hopelessly. Then she felt it. Something huge. Something alive... it was pushing her. Up she was going up. Her lungs cried out for air and when she finally broke through the surface she took in a huge gulp of the crisp morning air. The sun was peeking through the horizon making everything seem golden. She looked down as she remembered the thing that had saved her. She probably would have fainted if she wasn't so cold. There was a gigantic Squid under her. It had one of it's tentacles wrapped around her waist and it was waving her around. Instead of fainting she did the next best thing. She screamed. The Squid seemingly realised she was scared and started to swim towards the coast. She was so cold. She'd be receiving a bad cold soon. She thought miserably. But a cold was the last of her worries. What had that orb thing been? Did this mean she couldn't die? So Damien wanted her dead. But he wanted to be the one who killed her. That made absolutely no sense at all! When the Squid dropped her off at the coast she lay in the snow thinking for a while. She couldn't move. She closed her eyes and tried to figure things out. She still hadn't come to any sort of conclusion when Fang, Hagrid's dog sniffed her up. Soon Hagrid had dragged her inside his cottage and she was gulping down hot tea... 

  


  


  


  



	8. chapter eight

Author note: Wow! Thanks everyone for reviews! One person asked how a Muggle could be at Hogwarts. Well she was with Filch, he led her inside. She knows Hogwarts is really there! All right.

  


Disclaimer: I don't know the characters from harry Potter Christine is made up. I don't earn any money from this...

  


Damien

by Sarah Black

Chapter eight

  


"I told you a million times! I fell of the balcony and when I was just about to hit the ground this purple/black orb thing came and moved my over the lake, I fell in the lake and that horrid squid saved me." She sighed. Severus -who she was talking to for the first time in about a week, maybe two - was pacing around. She felt a bit bad about lying to him, but what was she supposed to say? That she tried to kill herself? somehow that sounded like a bad idea.

  


"And there was a voice that said it wanted to kill you?" Severus asked, for the umpteenth time. (She had stopped counting when he reached ten.)

  


"Yes!" She rolled her eyes. Severus was acting very strange.

  


"You're acting weird" she stated.

  


"mmm" he mumbled. He looked deep in thought. She decided not to disturb him and stood up to leave.

  


"Wait, Albus told me to tell you that he told Sirius to tell me to tell you to tell Sirius that he was supposed to teach you how to defend yourself." He sounded as confused as she felt.

  


"What?" She asked. Like she didn't have enough problems, now Severus had been hit my a Confundus Charm...

  


"Wait a second" she ordered Severus. She walked out of the office and into the corridor. This had the Weasley twins written all over it. Probably something slow working. They'd be around here somewhere, they always wanted to see the affect of their work. She spotted a flash of red and followed. When she came around the corner, she didn't see anyone. Then she heard a chuckle. She sighed and ripped down a tapestry. And who was she to find other than the Weasley twins? 

  


"Hello there" She put on her most menacing look. And considering her current situation in the beauty department that had to be a very scary look. The twins stopped laughing at least. 

  


"Hi" Fred said and grinned. She knew them apart easily. George was more timid than Fred. (All though timid wasn't exactly the right word...) George thought things through. She liked George better. 

  


"You shouldn't play pranks on Severus- Professor Snape you know. It's known to have... unpleasant, consequences." She said in her most deadly tone of voice. She was in no mood to be nice. She knew she needed to toughen up if she was going to continue living to see the twins graduate. Her scheme was working, the twins looked uncomfortable and maybe a bit scared.

  


"Sorry" George stuttered. She looked at Fred, but he was glaring at his brother. She knew just what to do.

  


"All right George, you can go to bed." She smiled at him. He let out the air he'd been holding in. He started to leave and Fred made to follow.

  


"Fred, I never said you could go as well, follow me." She hardly recognized her voice it was so sharp. Fred gulped and did as he was told. She paused in front of Severus's office and ordered Fred to knock. He did so.

  


"What do you want?" Severus's bellowed he sounded confused and angry. Poor Fred.

  


Poor Fred indeed. After she told him to take the spell off. Severus went back to normal. He had yelled at Fred at first then calmed down and started talking in a tone of voice usually reserved for Harry Potter. Fred had received detention and fifty points were taken off Gryffindor and Severus was writing to his mother. The redhead left the room with his face white as a sheet. She thought it was pretty botched up, the Weasley's plan. They probably hadn't counted on her being there. They probably hadn't thought they needed a proper escape plan if the only person there had been hit by the Confundus. She was also stunned at how unoriginal they were. Something was definitely wrong. 

  


The next day she found out exactly what was wrong. She was about to come out of a secret tunnel when she noticed that some of the older Gryffindors were huddled up outside. She strained her ears to overhear the conversation taking place.

  


"I'm telling you, there's something going on between her and Snape. They're always hanging out together. George and I've been watching her, and him for a while now. It's obvious!" She could hear Fred whisper. They thought... she and Severus? That's ridicules! They were just friends.

  


"Fred, have you ever seen them kiss or anything?" The voice of Ron Weasley rang out, he was clearly disgusted but there was a hint of glee in his tone.

  


"Naw, who'd want to see that?" Fred said.

  


"It could be you know, remember when I was in the hospital wing after that Quidditch match? Well Snape was there in the middle of the night, visiting her." Harry Potter's voice whispered. Almost too quietly for her to hear. How dare he tell them? And she had thought of him as a nice kid! 

  


"And why weren't you sleeping Harry?" Hermione Granger who had been quiet until then spoke up.

  


"Well Luan woke me up, she was screaming bloody murder!" Harry whispered excitedly.

  


"Why was she screaming Harry?" Someone she didn't recognize asked.

  


"Well, I asked her and she said it was just a nightmare. She looked awful." came the sad reply.

  


"What would she have nightmares about?" Someone wondered out loud.

  


"I don't know" Harry sighed.

  


"Our experiment worked though, we've been playing really small pranks on Snape once in a while and almost always Luan walks out of his office shortly after, except for the past week, she's been acting all weird... but whoa, was she mad! And George got off the hook, completely unfair!"

  


So that was why their plan was so botched up... the purpose of the prank wasn't to trick Severus. It was to see if she was in there, but why didn't they just listen at the door? Of course they'd have to do everything in their own unique way. Thank god they didn't know about Damien... oh. No... She couldn't handle thinking about him right now. She was trying to keep busy at all times. Trying to occupy her mind with something else than that constant voice. Telling her he would kill her. She shuddered. Thankfully she had a lot to do. The Christmas holidays at begun and she was cleaning, decorating, and trying to think of what to get Jack and Rachel for a present (which was very difficult). But she needed to talk to Severus about this. She hated being gossiped about. She hated gossip period. All she had ever talked about with people who weren't Damien was gossip. What was it about gossip people found so worth talking about? She had no idea. The Gryffindors had left, probably wanted to get to breakfast. Her stomach rumbled. It hadn't done that in a while. She had better head down to the kitchens before visiting Severus. But then their gossip would just increase! What could she do? She walked in circles trying to think of a solution. When she finally came to a conclusion she couldn't help but marvel at her stupidity. She'd just eat in the Great Hall like she was supposed to. But she couldn't show up looking a mess! Why did she think that? It didn't matter to her what others thought. But she didn't want people to lose their appetite once she walked through the doors either. She decided to get herself a bit more presentable. As much as she hated the thought of it. Come on, she though. It's not as if I'm going to a cocktail party! I just have to make myself resemble a human being. But the thought still annoyed her. Why should she have to change the way she looked? Why couldn't they just... oh this was useless. Arguing with oneself is definitely the best way to go mad. And she didn't need to be insane on top of everything else. Well maybe Damien wouldn't want to kill her if she was crazy. No, he probably wouldn't even notice the difference. She thought bitterly as she entered her room. She headed straight for the shower. Once she was out of the shower she almost hit herself in frustration. How come she had forgotten how wonderful it was to have a shower? This was definitely worth repeating she thought. But she had to buy herself a new shampoo, the one she was using hurt her eyes. She hurriedly got dressed in clean clothes. It felt so good. Just the smell of clean clothes. This was wonderful. She had been acting silly. Being clean didn't remind her of Damien! As long as she didn't use make-up and as long as she didn't style her hair and wear uncomfortable tiny little dresses she was fine! She reached for her hairbrush. And started to struggle with her hair. It was wet and tangled and longer then she remembered it being, she'd have to get it cut in Hogsmade... she approached the mirror timidly. It would help brushing her hair if she could actually see what she was doing. She turned the mirror around slowly (she had turned against the wall so she wouldn't have to look at herself every time she entered the room) and let out a relieved sigh as she saw her reflection. Sure there were dark circles around her eyes, her skin was pale and sickly and her hair was a mess. And she was much skinnier then she remembered... But she didn't look as bad as she had imagined. She started to struggle with her hair again. It was a difficult battle but in the end she won. 

  


"Well it's the best I can do..." she sighed and made for the door, remembering to grab her coat with her. She looked at her watch and saw she had about twenty minutes before breakfast was over. Her stomach rumbled again. She was really hungry. Probably because she was thinking about food... fruit and porridge and toast and eggs... her stomach rumbled again. Nothing went on inside her head except thought of the food she was going to devour. She walked into the Great Hall with her head down and sat down beside Hagrid. 

  


"Christine" Hagrid sounded surprised. She didn't answer, she just started loading her plate with food.

  


"So you've decided to start eating again" Hagrid chuckled.

  


She picked up some toast put some butter and sliced cheese on it and she ate it savoring each bite when she was done she licked the crumbs off her fingers (something Damien had never allowed) and gave little sighs in pleasure. If enjoying food that much was a sin she'd go straight to hell. When she had finished she thought she might explode. But she felt extremely satisfied. Well if she was going to die anyway. Nothing was stopping her from enjoying what was left of life. But thinking about Damien proved to be a bad idea, as his words started echoing inside her head, like they always did if she wasn't keeping busy. Cold chills started running down her spine and images of blood flew through her mind. She could hear echoes of her own screams inside her head and Damien's laughter... She shook her head trying to get rid of the cold voice and she remembered why she was there in the first place. She needed to talk to Severus. There was an empty seat beside him and she sat there. He had been staring into oblivion and it took her a while to get him out of his thoughtful state.

  


"what?" he asked, looking a little surprised to see her there. He looked over to her previous seat and then at her.

  


"I have to tell you something I overheard" she whispered anxiously.

  


"Eavesdropping?" he said, a small smirk playing on his lips. She bit her lip and nodded.

  


"Do tell" he said and yawned, like he couldn't possibly believe something she had to say was actually important. How typical. It hurt her feelings. Why didn't he take her seriously? Didn't he know what she'd been through? Why was he being so inconsiderate?

  


So she told him what she had overheard. It was actually quite funny watching his expression going from bored to interested to disbelieving to angry and finally amusement. After she finished she actually laughed. It felt good to laugh. He asked her what was funny and she just shook her head and told him it was nothing. It was just so silly. The two of them? She started giggling again. 

  


"shut up" he whispered. That just made her laugh even more. Somehow she had gotten into a good mood and she wasn't about to let anyone spoil it. She was tired of being terrified all the time. Tired of having that huge weight on her chest, tired of looking over her shoulder. If Damien wanted to kill her. Then fine. Let him. But he wasn't going to destroy the only good thing that ever happened to her. 

  


"what's so funny?" he asked, looking like he wanted to start laughing as well, most of the people had left the Great Hall, since breakfast had cleared away, but there were small groups of people just talking spread around the room.

  


"nothing" she said and put her face in her hands, shaking with laughter. When she finally stopped laughing and looked him in the eyes they were bothered by Albus.

  


"Christine, I'm extremely glad that you've decided to start eating again, I was worried about you. I have to talk to you in my office, oh and I'm curious, what was so funny?" Albus's twinkling blue eyes showed all sorts of emotions which she couldn't identify but she couldn't help worry. What did he need to talk to her about in his office?

  


"oh I don't know..." she said as an answer to the Headmasters question. He didn't seem convinced but he didn't pry. She stood up and followed him to his office. When they were in there at last he offered her a seat she gladly took.

  


"I have a feeling this isn't the best time to inform you of this. But you need to know what you're up against" Albus firm voice told her that whatever she was about to hear wasn't pleasant. Oh well, there wasn't much she could do about it. Better just hear him out. But she had a feeling this would be about Damien and she really really didn't want to talk about him right now.

  


"As you are aware of, Damien Dupre wants to kill you. Well, you might have wondered, why didn't he just kill you in the Forbidden Forest?" Albus seemed uncomfortable. But hah! She had known it would be about Damien, maybe she had a sixth sense when it came to guessing what sort of terrible news she was about to be told... It must be difficult for him. She thought. Telling someone that no matter what that someone would die. 

  


"yes, I did wonder about that" she sighed. Why was he telling her this? She knew she was going to die. He needn't tell her.

  


"Well the Dupre family is a rich and very old family. But they have a history of mysteriously disappearing when they are in their late twenty's - early thirty's. Then they appear one, two years later marry, have a heir and 'die'. It's always been that way. Hardly anyone knows what happens in those two years except maybe a few wizards. Myself included. I've tried to stop it..." The old wizard trailed off looking sad. What was he trying to tell her? She wished Damien would disappear from her life. But he wouldn't, what was going on here?

  


"You see, Vampires are odd creatures. There are the normal ones, easy to kill not very intelligent, just possessed corpses. But there is a breed of Vampires which is different. Muggles are keen on insisting that Vampires are like bats, which is true in many cases, but this breed I am talking about is more like a snake than anything else. Nearly impossible to outsmart, quick and deadly." Albus stopped took a deep breath and glared at his desk.

  


"What has this got to do with Damien?" She wondered out loud, was Albus trying to tell her Damien was one of those special Vampires? She had never been more confused.

  


"Becoming a Vampire is easy... in most cases. Becoming immortal is very difficult. The Dupre family is alive and well somewhere." Albus spat. He looked extremely frustrated. 

  


"Even if someone were to find their lair no one would be able to kill any of them. Nothing kills them. Absolutely nothing." She knew Albus had to have some sort of history with those Vampires... something personal. Or else he wouldn't be behaving like this...

  


"So you're telling me it's hopeless to even try to get rid of Damien?" She asked. If she had been the sort of type who dared to actually hope, the last bit of hope would be leaven her heart right now.

  


"Please don't interrupt. This is difficult to explain." he said sternly "The process of becoming immortal like that is a difficult one, first you have to have these qualities: You have to be ruthless, you have to have little or no conscience, you have to have a lot of money and you have to want, really want to live forever" Albus spoke with such disgust and anger that she was starting to get very scared of the old man.

  


"Damien has all that" She whispered.

  


"I know. He also has the family connections. Lysander Dupre was one of the first. Since then, no true Dupre has died. I suppose that when they get bored of living they just fall asleep. But as I was saying the process is a difficult one. First let's take Damien as an example... oh dear, this is difficult to explain. Well first Damien receives the invitation. He gets a month to find the location of where ever it is these things keep themselves. Then there's probably a ceremony as Lysander gives Damien the bite. Instead of sucking blood out of Damien, some sort of fluid comes out of Lysander's fangs." 

  


"Like a snake?" She interrupted, Albus nodded and continued.

  


"Well, then Damien waits, either the fluid kills him within a week or he starts to change. He stops needing to eat and drink. He stops needing to sleep. His hearing and sight improves and he gets stronger. Much stronger. Now he can easily jump on top of any roof. But all these changes are painful and they take time. This Damien suffered. But he probably doesn't care. These changes take about two months. After all this he enters the next stage of the process. I believe he started to bother you about two months after you came here, right?"

  


"Yes... something like that, but wait a second. You mean to tell me Damien is some sort of super Vampire?" she felt completely confused, and she was also wondering about how Damien had 'saved' her, Severus reckoned it took some serious dark magic to make that orb thing. 

  


"Well yes..." Albus seemed to have been thrown off track.

  


"But how'd he do that orb thing and save me?" She asked, she wasn't sure Albus knew of her whole 'falling of the balcony' escapade but she was pretty sure he knew...

  


"oh, Damien didn't do that, when someone has been chosen as a bond powerful magic is triggered. You basically can't be killed except by Damien" he explained.

  


"But who does the magic? I mean I'm not a witch, and he's not a wizard..."she trailed off.

  


"Lysander Dupre was a known dark wizard. Some wizards spend all their lives looking for him..." Albus's face hardened and she wondered idly if he had perhaps looked for Lysander at some point.

  


"But why did Damien just let me go? I mean if he knew he'd be needing me as a bond whatever that is..." she felt she'd be having a brain-meltdown soon because of all the information... it was just too much.

  


"He didn't know he'd be needing you as a bond. I think that's why he allowed you to leave. He thought he'd just go become immortal and never need to see you again. Lysander doesn't say much in his letters." Albus's grim tone of voice made the weight on her chest seem even heavier for some reason.

  


"I don't understand, bond? What do you mean by that?" She asked the headmaster who grimaced. Maybe he was talking about James Bond... the very silly thought amused her.

  


"Lysander's Vampires are taught that they are above living off blood. They don't need it once the process is over. But they do need to drink blood once. It makes them even stronger and more powerful than before. Before they drink the blood out of their bond they are vulnerable and can be killed by anyone. It's extremely difficult, killing them, but possible. A stake through the heart will do it. But after they drink the blood..." She cut him off.

  


"They're immortal. I get it. Explain the bit about the bond already!" she sighed.

  


"No, they aren't immortal yet, not till the process is over. Well, Lysander's Vampires need to drink blood out of their bond. You are Damien's chosen bond. It's because there is actually a bond between you. A strong emotional bond. Between the two people there has to be extremely strong hatred, extremely strong fear or extremely strong love. The stronger these emotional bonds are the stronger the Vampire becomes after drinking the blood... understand?" Albus was rubbing his forehead. 

  


"yes, I think so. What happens next?" she asked, despite the fact she already knew the answer.

  


"Well Damien waits. He has to wait for the full affect of the blood to work. When he knows he is ready he has to kill the bond and then he is immortal." Albus said, sighing sadly. She knew he was going to say that. But somehow it was worse now that he'd confirmed her suspicion. It seemed so final. She couldn't do anything. Why her? Why did he have to kill her?

  


"Why does he have to kill me to become immortal?" She asked desperately.

  


"Well you're the only one who can kill him, he isn't immortal if there's someone who can kill him" Albus said, he was massaging his temples. 

  


"I'm the only one who can kill him?" She asked in disbelief.

  


"Yes, that's why you'll be learning how to defend yourself." Albus smiled. The twinkle returning to his blue eyes.

  


"But I can't do magic... what chances have I got against some superhuman monster?" she was in a bit of a shock.

  


"Don't be silly. Muggles can defend themselves just as well without magic" His kind eyes did nothing for her nerves.

  


"You're giving me a gun?" she asked bewildered. This was getting to be too weird.

  


"Of course not. Bullets wont kill him. The only way for you to kill him is put a stake through his heart" Albus sounded like such a teacher.

  


"Well how can I protect myself then? Carry a stake at all times?" She asked mockingly. This was crazy. She was the only one who could kill Damien? It was just so unreal. She'd never be able to kill him. She was to scared of him. She was too in love with him...

  


"You'll be learning how to fight." Albus looked amused at her shocked expression.

  


"Fight?" she managed to say.

  


"Yes, Sirius will teach you. He went through Auror training, sure he's a bit rusty... Arabella will be there as well, she used to train Aurors..." As a respond to all the information she had just absorbed she passed out.

  


  



	9. chapter nine

Author note: I just have to thank Mephisto for the fabulous name of Lysander! She gave me three names to choose from, they were: Bob, Lysander and Brian. So thanks again Mephisto!!!

  


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the places, I came up with the plot and the character Christine. If you want to borrow either of these things don't bother asking for them, cause you can't have them!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!! 

  


Damien

by Sarah Black

chapter nine

  


When she woke up she was still on the floor in Albus's office. But she was sitting with her back against the wall, which was an improvement. Albus was there and he was talking with Arabella and Sirius. Sirius didn't seem to be listening. He was watching her with interest. She felt very uncomfortable under his gaze and wished she could disappear into the ground. Sirius made Albus aware of the fact she was awake and the old wizard smiled at her. She tried to smile back but in the light of recent advents she found it difficult. This was so crazy. She couldn't touch her toes! She couldn't run farther than two steps without ending up out of breath. And now she was supposed to learn how to do Kung Fu? Impossible. No way! She wasn't doing any such thing. If Damien wanted to kill her, she wouldn't be able to kill him. Even if she had been studying how to kick. She wouldn't be able to kill him. She knew what he was capable of. That night in the forest, all Damien had done was reach out his hand. She had willingly walked right into his arms. Teaching her a few fancy tricks wouldn't help her. There was a knock on the door and Albus shouted for whoever it was to enter. It was Severus. He seemed annoyed. Which day was it? Oh. It was Harry Potter day. Well that's what she had started calling this particular day of the week. It was the day Severus had the Gryffindor/Slytherin Potion class, including Harry. Severus was always annoyed the whole day. She had gotten used to it by now, though she usually avoided him when he was like that. Now what? They were talking to her? Hadn't she been through enough already? Oh fine. She'd listen if it meant that much.

  


"What?" She sighed. This was going to be great. They were going to come up with some wonderful plan which would take up most of her time, probably all her free time. Now when was she supposed to buy Christmas presents? Not that she'd be able to anyway. She wasn't allowed out of the castle. Less she was with Hagrid of course. Which reminded her, she needed to by a present for Hagrid as well... 

  


"See this is how it's going to have to be. Arabella will be your instructor, you'll learn the basics in fighting. Sirius will help you there as well. Since Arabella is old and wont be able to demonstrate. Severus will teach you how to fight the Hypnosis. He told me something odd happened to your eyes before you ran off into the forest the other night." Albus took charge. He sounded so businesslike. She wasn't sure she liked that. And what was that about her eyes? She strained her mind. Yes, he said. He said 'your eyes are supposed to be gray' or something similar.

  


"Well yes. Her eyes turned black. It wasn't like her at all. It was as if she fell into a trance." Severus thought. Of course she was in a trance. Why else would she run off into the Forbidden Forest completely unprotected and alone? Stupid males. She almost growled in frustration. Her period was supposed to start tomorrow and she was feeling rather emotional. Angry and frustrated being the first emotions that came to mind.

  


"I think her eyes turning black, did you say? Well, I think it may serve us well. We'll be warned before head. And I think I read something about eyes changing color a few seconds before undergoing... what was it? If an individual who isn't magical uses hypnosis to control someone else... I can't remember the rest. Arabella could you be a dear and ask Irma to find me a book on Muggle hypnotism, should be some material on it, the seventh years study it in Muggle Studies if I remember correctly." Albus spoke thoughtfully but firmly and Arabella went off at once to talk to Madam Pince. Albus didn't mention hypnosis was one of the perks that came with immortality. She'd like being able to hypnotize... But not really. Maybe you could learn it without having to turn into a monster? She had somehow gone from fear to making fun of everything. How'd that happen? Who cares? She was going to die. There was nothing she could do.

  


"Sure there's something you can do." A voice in her head sounded. In fact, it sounded just like Damien.

  


Was she sleeping? But she had her eyes open, she could see Albus and Sirius and Severus, they were talking about when to start and how to schedule everything so it wouldn't interfere with her or Severus's work. But she could still hear Damien, how was that?

  


"You and I share a bond Triss. I'm not far now." Damien's voice spoke clearly and slowly. It sent chills down her spine and she felt adrenaline pumping through her veins. The room seemed to be colder.

  


"What do you want?" She asked out loud, attracting stares from the three men.

  


"You've got it all wrong Triss" the wicked pleasure he was taking in her fear was painfully obvious. Severus came to her, he shook her shoulder a bit and asked her if she was all right. To her horror she heard her voice respond that she was quite fine.

  


"You've got it all wrong, you don't have to die. It's much easier for me of course if you do. But there is a way" Damien's voice was barely a whisper but she heard it all the same. She had a choice? But he had said that he would kill her. The dreams. The dreams, she always died in the dreams. But oh. In the dreams he always reached out his hand. He offered to save her... she never took his offer. But she had to know. If there was another way. She didn't want to die. It had - up to now - been a fact she had to live - and die - with. And now he was telling her she could choose? 

  


"There is a way?" she asked breathlessly. Severus - who had been about to go and talk to the other two again - paused and asked her what was wrong. She gave him no audible response but she could feel the muscles in her face form a small smile. 

  


"You can become an immortal being like I am. All you have to do is come with me when the time comes. Don't give me your answer now. Think about it." His last words echoed in her mind. She felt the cold go and she looked up to see the disturbed faces of the three older men. 

  


"Are you all right?" Albus asked concern in her tone.

  


"Fine, just fine." She muttered. She was in no mood for this. 

  


"Well, we've decided that your training will begin after Christmas day. Arabella will contact you. But you should start on your hypnosis practice right away." He was all business again. Which wasn't good. She liked the concerned nice person better than the business harsh person. What was she thinking? Albus was just Albus. He wasn't many people... was he? Since she entered this new world - which she had recently discovered was banned by the wizard law - she felt like anything was possible. She had watched in on a Transfiguration lesson once. And it had been so amazing, well except for the fact that the Weasley twins were there... 

  


"Albus, how come I can't leave the castle? Damien wont swoop down on me in the middle of Hogsmade. It isn't his style. You don't know him. You don't know him like I do." Whoops, she hadn't meant to sound that harsh. O well...

  


"That's right. You do know him. But I know Lysander. He's tricky he is. But I suppose you'll be wanting to buy your presents?" She knew it! Albus did have some history with that Lysander person. 

  


"Yes, so you're making me drag Hagrid along with me?" she asked knowing the answer.

  


"I'm afraid so Christine, I'll owl him and tell him to go into the Entrance Hall and wait for you there." the dreaded answer came as she suspected. She looked at Severus who was talking to Sirius with a look in his eye which made her shudder. If she was Sirius she'd be running. Well running wouldn't do her much good, she wasn't the most athletic person in the world... Albus said something to the guys and Severus left after one last glare and Sirius followed soon after in his dog form, whoa, she'd never get used to that. 

  


"Christine" Albus rested his hand on her shoulder. She flinched away. Damn these reflexes. She looked at his sad expression and mentally kicked herself.

  


"What?" she snapped. She didn't mean to snap. He had been nothing but wonderful to her and she was being such a... 

  


"What happened, you spaced out there. It was Damien wasn't it? What did he say? It might be important you know." How did he know? She couldn't tell him. Something inside her told her that she should definitely not tell Albus about what Damien said. 

  


"Don't be silly. I was just thinking..." She couldn't come up with anything proper to say. Better change the subject. "Hagrid's probably waiting. I should go." She said trying not to sound too much like she was hiding something. She walked as slowly as she could to the door. She didn't want him to think she was hurrying away. Which she was doing. But he didn't need to know that.

  


When she arrived in the Entrance Hall she saw Hagrid. He wasn't alone. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley were there. And of course Sirius, currently being hugged by Harry. Sirius was in his dog form. Hagrid seemed anxious and kept trying to shoo Harry and the others away. 

  


"Hello Hagrid." She gave him a mock salute. 

  


"'ello Christine, jus' showin' the kids back 'ere" Hagrid's voice seemed even more anxious.

  


"And what were 'the kids' doing outside? Perhaps they were sneaking into the forest?" She used her most menacing tone of voice. She wanted them out of the way. She needed to get to Hogsmade. 

  


"Visitin' me" Hagrid answered smiling an unsure smile.

  


"Of course they were" she said, making it sound like he had been the one doubting it.

  


Sirius was scratching at the door and Ronald was straying towards the Great Hall where the aroma of lunch was coming from.

  


"Go eat" she snapped at Harry and Hermione. They both flinched. She didn't mean to scare them too much... 

  


"Aye, we better get goin' as well" Hagrid jerked his head towards the large doors. She nodded and the walked off. Remembering to let Sirius out too.

  


*

  


She wondered around the old shop looking at the various objects on display. What would Jack want for Christmas? Did he even celebrate Christams? She had no idea. This is interesting. She picked up a small object it was like a jar. What must it be for? She wondered turning it in every direction. It was decorated with small glittering green stones on a black surface. 

  


"It's nice isn't it?" The shop keeper startled her and she almost dropped the jar.

  


"Yes, what is it?" she asked. Maybe Severus would like it? 

  


"You keep ink in it" the shop keeper was obviously surprised that she didn't know that.

  


"How much is it?" She questioned.

  


"Three Galleon. But for such a fair lady, only one will do." The old shop keeper smiled. She felt a little self conscious, but she managed to smile.

  


"Why thank you kind sir, I think I'll buy it." She humored the man off hand.

  


"Good, good. But ink in this and it will never run out!" the man squealed happily as he began to wrap the gift. She looked around while he wrapped the thing in blue wrapping with silver stars on it. The stars looked real, it was like a night sky. She even spied a silver moon moving slowly over the wrapping. Her eyes fell on a bookshelf behind the shopkeeper's desk. The titles were unfamiliar to her but some of them made her want to giggle. There was a whole shelf, seemingly dedicated to a single author, some Gildroy Lockhart person. 

  


"Here you are my dear." The kind man handed her the parcel and held out his hand for the Galleon. Grateful that Albus paid her in wizard coins she handed the man one large golden piece and went outside where Hagrid awaited. When she saw Hagrid she was reminded of one of the book titles back in there. It would be a great present for the Keeper of the Keys. She handed him the parcel and told him she had forgotten something inside. She hurried to the smiling shopkeeper and asked for the book, she paid a few Sickles for it, apparently it didn't sell well at all. She felt she knew why. She came outside for the second time with another wrapped present.

  


"All set Christine?" The ever friendly Hagrid asked kindly. She nodded and headed for Galdrags Wizardwear. In there she found presents for her house elf friends (socks for Dobby, a small violet dress for Winky) but she just couldn't come up with anything to give Jack, she wondered if she should get Rachel anything, but decided no. She really didn't know Rachel that well. She wondered around Hogsmade - Hagrid by her side - window shopping, but she was becoming tired quickly. And it was very cold. She finally just gave up and told Hagrid she wanted to head for the castle. He asked her if she was sure, perhaps she wanted to have some Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks? She didn't want any Butterbeer and told him so. The gigantic man was saddened by her answer. But not that saddened. At least he wasn't crying. 

  


*

  


It was Christmas Eve and she was spending it in her own room. She'd have to go patrol in an hour or two and she was happy that she had some company. Jack and Rachel (despite the fact that they disliked each other immensely) had come. She felt rather down and was glad of the distraction the two bickering ghosts provided. Past Christmas Eves kept coming to her mind and she dreaded the start of her physical training. She had already started on her mental training... but she wasn't doing well at all. Severus was using the simplest of hypnotism, the strength was maybe one fifteenth of what Damien had used. She just couldn't fight it. Severus had been in complete control of her mind. It was notion she found a bit scary, but she trusted Severus. When the ghosts had both left she started to get ready for her patrol. She took off her comfortable gray skirt and replaced it with black pants. Her dark blue shirt went the same way as her skirt and instead she wore a sweater with a zipper. Over that she wore her coat. It was warm, her Matrix coat. And the deserted corridors of the castle were rather chilly. She wore comfortable brown shoes, especially lovely for walking a lot. But they were old. She hadn't actually worn them a lot with Damien, but here at Hogwarts, these were the only shoes she could wear without becoming horribly tired.

  


She roamed the corridors, watching for students out of bed. She spotted two couples in separate locations but left them be. They weren't doing anything ... endangering Hogwarts she supposed.

  


When she reached the dungeons she paused in front of Severus's office door and listened. He was talking to someone.

  


"I told you, I don't have any new information. I think the old fool is on to me. He wont tell me anything of much importance." Severus's voice was annoyed sounding. And it was more harsh than she was used to. Not that it wasn't always harsh...

  


"Well, do something to gain his trust then. What use are you if you can't even give us some useful tips" a voice she didn't recognize spoke. It sounded like it was much lower than Severus's. As if the person speaking was sitting on the floor talking from a lower position than Severus... odd.

  


"I did give you some useful tips, I told you about Potter's 'adventures', did I not?" Severus spoke in nearly a growl.

  


"All I was pointing at was the fact that you seem to be more loyal to that old coot than you are to our Lord." Came the icy reply.

  


"Well, 'our' Lord or no - Lucius, I called you to talk about your son. He's being initiated next summer am I correct?" The hissing voice of Severus questioned.

  


"Correct" Came the short reply.

  


"Have you talked to Draco about it?" Severus sounded concerned now.

  


"I have. After the Triwizard Tournament, how could I not?" was the answer. She was reminded more than a little of Damien. That icy voice. She pitied the poor soul who was that mans son. More she pitied the wife of the man.

  


"What was Draco's say on the matter?" Asked Severus. She wondered what they were talking about. It probably had to do with that Voldemort person. Severus had told her he was playing for both sides. But what was this initiation the spoke of? She recognized the name Draco a little. She'd have to look through her uncle's files, if that boy had served detention his name would be in there somewhere. But a last name would help.

  


"Draco is excited about it, as suites a Malfoy." was the answer to Severus's and her question. She hurried towards her uncles office, ignoring the two Weasley twins who were obviously about to throw a dungbomb at one of the couples she had spotted earlier. She found a file on Malfoy easily. Her uncle had been very organized. Draco had served his first detention in the Forbidden Forest, with Hagrid. Poor kid. Now she remembered, Hagrid had been muttering darkly about some Draco Malfoy after one of his lessons earlier in the year... There were few other detentions, the boy seemed rather well behaved actually. She yawned. Well this investigation had been a nice distraction... better go catch the Weasley twins - again.

  


*

  


After two hours of sleep filled with nightmares she woke up to a scream outside her window. She rolled over and closed her eyes again. 

  


"Merry Christmas Triss" she opened her eyes her heart beating wildly. He couldn't be here. Not now. She looked around frantically, but to no avail. 

  


"I'm in your head _honey_" he spoke sarcastically, especially the word honey.

  


"Get out!" She yelled at him. She heard him give a mocking laugh. "But love, I only wanted to give you your present..." the word 'present' seemed to fade away slowly. She felt that he was gone and opened her eyes, which she had squeezed shut without noticing. In front of her on a coat hanger hang the first thing Damien had ever bought her. It was that glamourous gown... she saw herself dancing the night away on Damien's arm. She felt her heart cry. But she couldn't cry herself. Suddenly - filled with uncontrollable anger - she threw her blanket off and braved the cold floor barefooted. She picked the dress up went to the window and threw it outside. 

  


"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screamed after it. "I don't want this. Why don't you just leave me alone?" she said and let herself sink to the floor. She curled up into a little ball. And listened to her heart scream in pain. She could hear it. She could hear it's pain. There was knock on the door. She stared at the door blankly before whispering a feeble; 'enter' she just couldn't take it. She was only twenty three. How was she supposed to deal with this? She could hear the door creak open and found that she didn't care who it was. She didn't care who it was. But she looked up anyway. It was Severus. He walked over to where she was sitting under the open window. He raised an eyebrow at her and looked at the window. She just sat there. He looked out the window and then closed it. 

  


"What happened?" He asked sharply.

  


"Damien got me a dress for Christmas. But I already owned it. It was the first dress he ever got me. I danced with him..." she trailed off. She didn't know why she was telling Severus this. She just couldn't not tell him.

  


"How nice of him" Severus's voice was dripping with sarcasm. She came to herself. She was supposed to give him his present now. She stood up unsteadily. She felt cold. Sitting under an open window in December is definitely not the best idea. Especially not if you're only wearing your nightshirt. She put on her dressing gown and rummaged through her desk drawers. She found what she was looking for without much trouble. The parcel which looked like the night sky, she had already sent an owl off with the other presents. But she had wanted to give this in person, to see if he liked it. (Did he like anything) she straightened and handed him his present. He looked surprised. He looked at her questioningly before accepting the parcel like it was a time bomb. She smiled weakly and wondered how many presents he received normally. He sat down in her desk chair and unwrapped it suspiciously. When he saw what was inside he smirked.

  


"To keep ink in?" He asked without expecting an answer. 

  


"You put ink in there and it will never run out, I thought it might be useful..." she tried to smile but she still felt a bit chilled. 

  


"I have something for you as well actually, I didn't wrap it though. It wasn't really meant as a Christmas present. But I suppose you may think of it as one." he spoke with a perfectly straight face, he seemed a bit bored actually. He reached into his robe pocket and came out holding a silver chain with an unprocessed white stone on it. 

  


"It will help resist hypnotism." he said and put it on her. "I want you to wear it at all times. Don't take it off under any circumstances." he said severely.

  


"All right, thanks" she said finally managing to smile. 

  


"Yes, I must thank you as well." He said without a smile. He always seemed so Sirius. And speaking of Sirius. There was another knock on the door. She walked over to it and opened. Arabella was standing there, Sirius in his dog form by her side. She sighed. 

  


"There's something you have to know. I can't touch my toes." She said to Arabella.

  


"We'll see about that." Arabella smiled.

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  



	10. chapter ten

**Author note: This is a weird chapter. Well I think so. And I just want to warn you, there's an obnoxious (I like that word) cliffhanger at the end of the chapter.**

  


**Disclaimer: I don't own a the characters or the places JKR does.**

  


**Damien**

**by Sarah Black**

**chapter ten**

  


"What part of 'ow' don't you understand?" She whimpered rather pathetically. She was sitting on the floor, her legs stretched out in front of her and Sirius was sitting in front of her. The back of their feet against each other. He was holding both her hands quite painfully and for the better part of the passing hour he had spent torturing her. He pulled her hands towards him and he said that the point was to get her forehead to touch her knees. Yeah right. As if that would ever happen. All that had happened was a lot of complaining on her part and Sirius rolled his eyes a lot. She knew he was extremely frustrated with her but she had no reason to care about what he thought and how he felt. After all he was torturing her. 

  


"Arabella, she's refusing to cooperate." Sirius whined. Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. It was her first 'fight class' like Severus had sarcastically named it and she was beginning to think she'd spend every class wishing she was somewhere else. What was the point with this class anyway? If Severus could teach her to resist the hypnotism she' d have two choices. Stay and fight or run. She couldn't imagine fighting Damien. And she had never been violent. She wasn't used to fighting back. She knew it was always easier to just wait till it passed. And she could always just join him. Live forever. Damien wouldn't hurt her after that. They'd be happy. 

  


"Christine?" Sirius waved his hand in front of her. That man was so annoying. No wonder Severus disliked him. Sirius had never tried to kill her, but she was already starting to dislike him a lot. He was such an obnoxious person. Arabella came over to them. The older woman ordered her to get up. She stood up and looked the cat obsessed individual in the eye.

  


"Imagine this, I'm Damien. I'm about to bite you. You're scared. What do you do?" Arabella whispered her question. And she could hear Damien laugh inside her head. She was surrounded by obnoxious people. Probably her lucky day or something. 

  


"I run." She answered dully. Arabella sighed impatiently. 

  


"No. You kick him." The statement was spoken as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She wondered what Severus was doing. Probably sleeping. It was ridiculously early in the morning. And even if she was used to being up, she wasn't used to this horrible pain everywhere. Actually she was but - oh, what was the point? Better just play along... 

  


"Oh, of course I kick him. I know! Sirius why don't you play Damien..." She glared at Sirius and walked over to him. "All right, you're Damien. Act like him." She ordered. She had no idea what she was doing. Her muscles ached and she was annoyed and she just wanted to get some lunch.

  


Sirius raised an eyebrow and said: "grrr" she would have laughed if it were anyone else than Sirius standing in front of her. Instead of laughing she kicked him in the shins as hard as she could. Then she ran for the door, she hadn't gotten two paces out before the bell rang. "Finally, lunch!" she sighed happily.

  


She sat down beside Severus as she had started doing recently. She found it easier than sitting with Hagrid. Hagrid was nice and all she just liked her personal space too much to sit beside someone that - of that size. Severus never tried to start a conversation or bother her or anything. But if she asked him for something or spoke to him, he'd always answer. It was very nice.

  


"Sirius is the most horrible person on the planet." she stated in a whisper once she had sat down.

  


"I quite agree." Severus muttered shortly in return.

  


"I hurt all over." She whined.

  


"poor little Christine" he managed to say that like he didn't care at all but she felt strangely comforted all the same.

  


"Don't you have some sort of potion for the pain?" she asked and ladled some soup into her bowl. 

  


"Of course I do." was his snappish answer.

  


"Could I have some?" she sighed.

  


"Not if you don't say please." he muttered and rolled his eyes.

  


"Thanks" she smiled weakly. Conversations with Severus. She should write a book about it. He mostly said more with his eyes than he did in words or he said a lot and you didn't understand him at all. He was just a very difficult person to decipher, not to mention talk to.

  


When her soup was finished she started to look around. She knew a lot of the people here even if they knew nothing of her. Like a Hufflepuff second year, he dreamed to be a Quidditch star and couldn't stand any of his friends and vice versa. Though she didn't know his name. And there was that Rawenclaw forth year, the poor girl. She had seen her often wondering around school a book in hand. But she always looked so lonely. 

  


"Christine, there was a bit of an accident in class... Mr. Finnigan he blew up several ink bottles, could you come by?" Filius Flitwick the odd little man spoke to her politely. She nodded, "I'll take care of it" and she took off. But not before noticing the way Serverus glared at Filius. As if Filius had just stolen something of his. Maybe Filius had stolen something? Probably some potion ingredient. She didn't bother herself with it.

  


*

  


She was in class again. With Arabella the strange and Sirius the obnoxious. She was done with the stretching for the day - thank goodness - although she still couldn't touch her toes, but Arabella wanted to get started with something different.

  


"All right. Kick." Arabella ordered. She sighed wearily and kicked like a five-year-old who was kicking a can. She was tired. She had just spent the whole evening in detention with some Hufflepuff... and it was very early in the morning. No classes had begun yet. And she had only had an hour of sleep. Normally she had at least three hours of sleep. And she was starting to get used to the nightmares. She felt like she would feel a bit odd if no nightmares came with sleep. 

  


"You call that a kick?" Sirius mocked. Then he laughed and shook his head. 

  


"You have to use your whole body, and kick higher - sort of to the side." He ordered and picked her leg up. She almost fell but managed to keep her balance. But he kept pulling her leg upwards. Then he told her to keep still but she couldn't. And when she moved he got frustrated and pushed her painfully into the 'correct' position to kick 'properly'. He held her still and it hurt, it was as if she were being pulled apart, limb by limb. And his hands, even if they were supporting her in very innocent places it still bothered her. 

  


"Let go of me." She hissed coldly. He ignored her and Arabella started to lecture her on how this position enabled her to kick very hard but not use much of her strength. She really wished they would drop dead.

  


"Let go of me." She repeated, now her tone of voice silenced her in mid speech. 

  


"Oh come on, you'll fall and hurt yourse-" She pushed Sirius away with all her strength. He fell down and she fell with him. She untangled herself from him quickly making sure to kick. When she was on her feet again she noticed that Arabella was looking at the door. She looked at the door too and was pleased to see Severus there. 

  


"Hi" she muttered darkly and went over to him. Then she whispered so the other two couldn't hear.

  


"save me, they're trying to make me kick" 

  


He sneered at her, then he sneered at Sirius and Arabella. Then slowly his lips curled into a smirk.

  


"Black's been teaching you to kick? Has he taught you to defend yourself from getting kicked. No? I didn't think so. Why don't I show you a trick. Guarantied to always work." Severus had a glint in his eyes which told her that something was about to happen.

  


"Thank you, I'd love to see that trick." She answered politely. 

  


"All right then. What about you Black? Are you game?" Severus said this in such a way that if Sirius were to decline he'd look like a coward.

  


"Yeah. I'm game." Sirius answered. He looked annoyed. For a while the two men just stood there glaring at each other but then Sirius - with much waving of hands - attacked. Severus just stood there patiently. Then at the last moment Severus stepped to the side and Sirius crashed into the wall. She couldn't contain herself. She laughed. She went over to Severus still laughing and leaned on his shoulder. Who looked at her his face betraying no sign of amusement but he didn't push her away. Which was good because she probably would have fallen if he had. This would have been the perfect start of her day if it hadn't been for Damien. After she had gotten over to the wall and sat down he talked to her again.

  


"I've come to remind you about your choices" He hissed in her ear. She couldn't see him but she could feel him. It was cold. The whole room felt cold and she could see her breath in the air. The other three seemed oblivious to this and Sirius had started arguing with Severus about something. 

  


"I remember my choices. There are two. Live forever or die. Okay now you can go." she thought hoping he'd hear her. Furthermore she hoped he'd go away. Actually she wished he never came. No that wasn't completely true she admitted to herself. She took a twisted pleasure in him coming to her. And he probably knew it. And she could hear the two choices she had echoing in her mind. The longer she thought about it the clearer it became. She didn't have choices really. The third choice was missing. You know, the choice where nothing happens and she just got to get on with her 'life'.

  


"I'll be coming soon. And then we'll see..." she could feel the warmth returning as his presence faded. This link thing or bond or whatever it was an extreme headache. And so were the two men quarreling like five-year-olds.

  


"Shut up. Both of you. I have no idea what you were talking about but I'm sure Severus was right. I'm leaving now. Bye." she couldn't believe she actually said that out loud. Severus was staring at her, he looked faintly surprised and worried. Sirius looked furious and Arabella was smiling knowingly for some reason. Probably thinking about her cats... 

  


_'right this is the part where I storm out of the room. But I feel too dizzy to move. That's bad right?' _she thought as her headache increased. She backed against the wall for support. The interested look on Severus's face disappeared she closed her eyes. When she opened them again everything was blurred for a second. Then her headache went away. Just like that. Severus beaconed for her to follow him. She did. Although Sirius protested loudly and said her class wasn't over. Sirius went ignored, thankfully as she couldn't stand the thought of more fighting.

  


"Remember what I gave you at Christmas?" Severus asked her all of a sudden. Now he just looked worried and very thoughtful. 

  


"Yes, what has that got to do with anything?" she asked confused. She put her hand over the necklace and felt it jerk out of her hand. She looked at it. It was glowing faintly black and purple and it kept jerking around, it almost seemed annoyed.

  


"What is this?" She felt even more confused. What did this mean?

  


"Someone tried to break into your mind. The necklace tried to warn you but you didn't feel it warn you because you're wearing it on the outside of your clothes." He glared at her meaningfully and she put the - now calmer - necklace on the inside of her sweater. Severus looked as though he was thinking very hard.

  


"When someone breaks into your mind your mind goes off balance. When the outside force leaves your mind it tries to regain balance. Well that's my theory anyway." Severus ranted he made a bit of a sense but not much. 

  


"What happened?" he asked all of a sudden.

  


"I thought you just told me what happened." She answered. She could glimpse the sunrise through a dirty window. She'd have to clean it. She fumbled for her keys and walked towards a closet. 

  


"I need you to fill in the blanks. What happened to you? Scientific facts aside I mean." Severus asked. He was getting pissed off. He was definitely not a morning person...

  


"I have to clean this window." she muttered and pored some Magical Mess Remover into a cloth.

  


"No you have to tell me what happened." Severus ordered stubbornly. Why was he so stubborn? It was annoying. She started wiping the cloth over the smooth surface of the glass. With each stroke it was made easier to see the morning sky. It was beautiful. All golden and red. Gryffindor colors. 

  


"It's no big deal. It's happened before. He doesn't hurt me or anything. He just talks to me." She mumbled reluctantly. 

  


"Who talks to you?" Severus asked quietly. He seemed to know the answer anyway so she didn't answer right away.

  


"Who?" He asked more loudly and harshly.

  


"Damien." She snapped at him. "But you already knew that, you know everything don't you. You're just all knowing and he keeps giving me these two choices and I don't know what to do." At first she was just angry at him then she realized Severus hadn't really done anything and she got confused and what had she said?

  


"Slow down. All right. Now more slowly. Tell me what are the choices he gives you?" He seemed to be struggling to keep his voice calm. Because he looked kind of angry, no more like furious.

  


"Live forever or die. It seems to be an easy choice right? That's what I thought. But it's not. It would be too easy to just give in and I just keep thinking: 'what if I give in and stay with him forever what happens then?' I mean will he change? Will he treat me any differently? Or will he just continue to be like he's always been? I don't know. I don't know anything." She felt like she was supposed to be crying. Like she was supposed to be hysterical. But she wasn't. She didn't even feel as if she were there at all. She was outside. Down at the lake, watching the sunrise. Watching the daylight color the black water of the lake. She wasn't talking, someone else was.

  


"But you have a third choice. You have to fight him." Severus said firmly. She looked away from the lake and into his eyes. He didn't look furious anymore, he was back to worried and there was something else... his eyes betrayed nothing. But there was something. It wasn't him it was the atmosphere around them. Tension? No, not tension. Something. She didn't know what.

  


"No, I can't fight him. Even without the hypnotism. I have never been able to fight him. Why should I start being able to now? You don't know what it's like. Every time I wake up I'm escaping a nightmare. It's always the same nightmare. I'm in danger, just a splinter away from death. Damien is standing over me. He's pushing me closer and closer to death, but then he offers me help. All I have to do is take his hand and everything is all right. But I never take his hand and I fall. And then I wake up." She still had the feeling of not really being there. It wasn't really her saying those things. It was a bit unreal all of it. 

  


"Are you an idiot? Why haven't you told Albus? I mean, why haven't you told someone?" He trailed off, probably noticing the fact that she wasn't in the room. She was somewhere far away. He sighed irritably and walked away. He probably had to tell Albus everything she had just stupidly told him. She sighed and looked back outside the window which was now sparkling clean. The sky had started to look blue instead of a golden red color. The lake reflected the colors and sparkled. The snow glittered. 

  


*

  


January was nearly over and everything had settled into a routine. At night she patrolled then she slept for about three or four hours, then there was 'fight class' before sunrise, after sunrise Severus helped her with her mind stuff then she went to breakfast. Before lunch she wondered around cleaned stuff which was dirty. After lunch she usually had a nap until classes were over. Then she'd get back up and wonder around some more until supper. She liked things when they were like this. It gave her a sense of security and familiarity. It felt good to know what was about to happen. But that was it. She never actually knew. Damien showed up in her head at the oddest moments. He never really said anything interesting. But he scared her. She could fight him off for about a minute now. But it wasn't enough. He always won. And every time he came the bond between them grew stronger. She could just feel it. Now she was just lying in bed waiting for something. She didn't really know what she was waiting for. But there was something. Her necklace was still so it probably wasn't Damien. If it was Damien he wasn't trying to mess with her head at least. 'This is ridicules' she thought irritably. She got out of bed and walked to her desk. She sat down and stared at the wood. It was once a tree. Just like the paper on the desk. Most of the things in her room were disguised trees; she though sleepily. She was inside a forest. And if she were to forbid anyone to come in here her room would be a forbidden forest. She giggled. She really needed to sleep. But she just couldn't get her eyes to close. There was a picture on her desk. It wasn't something she owned. Probably her uncle's. It was of a man. He was sitting on stone steps. He was holding a flower. It was a nice picture. She wondered of whom it was. She flipped the photo over and read the three words that were scrawled there.

  


_Look behind you._

  


  



	11. chapter eleven

**Author note: Okay, sorry about the cliffhanger. Just don't say I didn't warn you. Cause I did. Go back and check if you like!**

  


**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor the places. They mostly belong to JKR.**

  


**Damien**

**by Sarah Black**

**chapter eleven**

  


She slowly put the picture back on the desk. It was difficult to breathe, her stomach was in a knot and she couldn't move. She couldn't get her head to turn around to see. No one was there. Just a picture. Probably doesn't mean anything. Maybe it was a prank? Her mind made excuses but she could feel that none of it was true. He skin knew. It was prickling. Her ears knew. They were straining for the familiar sound of his breathing. Her stomach knew it. It was tying it self into tight knots. It had to be him. He had come for her, just like he said he would. She turned her head slowly. When she saw what was there she couldn't suppress a sigh of relief. And still, maybe a bit of sadness. She walked over to the window and closed it. It was letting the cold in. But she knew it was going to be a cold night anyway. But she still had that feeling. Of something happening. Was that fake too? She didn't know. She walked back to the desk and picked up the picture again. She didn't know the man with the flower. But he looked sad. She felt bad for him. She looked at the three hastily scrawled words. 'Look behind you'. She looked over her shoulder. Nothing. Maybe this was old? Wait a second. She remembered quite clearly that she had closed that window. She walked over to it and leaned out. Nothing. Nothing but still night. It couldn't have been the wind. There simply was no wind to speak of. She sighed and yawned. This was silly. She shouldn't be scaring herself like this. She closed the window again and turned to go to bed. 

  


"Hello Triss." Said a voice. She fumbled for her necklace. It was limp. He had to be in the room. She looked around. There was no place for him to hide. Except maybe for the shadowy corner, or under the bed or in the closet... 

  


"Damien?" She answered unsure of what she was doing. A black and purple shimmer appeared in front of her. And she could see Damien. Standing extremely close to her. He was close enough for her to feel his breath on her neck. 

  


"Triss. I want you to make a choice. I've grown tired of nagging. And I'm growing tired of these mind games. Make your choice." He whispered into her ear. Very quietly but at the same time very clearly. She'd always wondered how he did that...

  


"I can't choose. It's too difficult." She tried to explain to him. But it didn't do any good. Damien wasn't exactly the most patient man on the planet. Was she right to say man? Was he a man still? She didn't know and why was she thinking about that of all things?

  


"If everything in life were easy... if everything in life were easy. It would be no fun to live" Damien muttered as he grabbed hold of her wrist and started to twist her arm painfully. She knew of a move that would have him on the floor, painfully. She knew how to do it, she could do it. She had even taken a huge amount of pleasure from doing it to Sirius. But there was no way she could do it to Damien. She felt so weak. As if all her strength had departed. 

  


"You're right of course." She gasped. The pain was still there. And it was becoming unbearable. With one more yank he'd break her arm. 

  


"Make your choice. Either I finish you off, here and now or you come with me back to the palace." He hissed. She could sense how tense he was. He really wanted her to make this choice. Now. All right. Did he just say palace? Choice, make a choice. What did she have here? Lets see, cleaning up after those ungrateful children working with people who she mostly disliked and her only friends were some ghosts and a sarcastic Potions Master. On the other hand. Go with Damien. Be rich again, have everything she wanted. Eternal life in a palace?

  


"Do we get to live in the palace?" She asked before she could stop herself. Damien let go immediately looking pleased with himself.

  


"When we 'die' we get to live at the palace." He answered his most charming smile on his face. His eyes were glinting hungrily.

  


"I don't understand. When we 'die'?" She asked, she wanted to know of course. But she was also buying time.

  


"Well we can't keep living for ever in the what do you call it, Muggle world? Wont people get suspicious of us never growing old and never dying?" Damien started to pace. They were quiet for a few seconds.

  


"So, what will it be?" Damien asked again starting to look aggressive.

  


"Wait, we have to go back to the 'Muggle world'?" She asked hoping her arm wouldn't suffer another attack.

  


"Well of course. But we can talk about that later. We'll be staying at the palace at first. While you adjust." He explained. His eyes still had that glint to them. It was as if a tiny twinkling star had appeared on the black night-sky that was Damien's eyes.

  


"I think I've made my choice." She said pensively. She laid her hand on her desk. She started feeling for the object she would need quite soon.

  


"Well, out with it then." Damien urged impatiently.

  


Her fingers found the wooden object she had searched for and she was ready to answer.

  


"I'll..." She started, Damien's eyes had fixed themselves on the wooden stake in her hand. He had a tiny smile on his face. It was more a smirk than a smile come to think of it.

  


"Are you going to stake me?" He asked in a way that made it sound ridicules to even try. She looked at it and her previously firm hold on it lessened. She dropped it. It made a clanking sound on the floor but she didn't care.

  


"I'll come with you." Her voice surprised her. It sounded so self assured. As if the one controlling her voice knew exactly what she was doing. But she didn't feel like her voice sounded. She felt scared and small. Damien walked the short distance towards her and put an arm around her shoulders. It felt surprisingly warm. She had always thought that now he would be cold to the touch. Maybe it was just the coat. The coat! She had to get clothes. She suddenly became aware of the fact that she was only dressed in her nightgown.

  


"Damien, are we going now?" She questioned. "Because I need to get dressed..." she trailed off as he removed his arm from her shoulders. He strode over to her closet and pulled out the beautiful gown he had sent her for Christmas.

  


"But I-" He cut her off; "Threw it out the window? Yes, well I made sure it would stay with you." He smiled a self appreciative smile. It seemed to cry out: 'I'm so smart' She loved that smile. She loved all of his smiles. 

  


She hugged him. 

  


"I've missed you." She mumbled into his chest.

  


"I have as well." was his simple but sophisticated reply.

  


"Now, put the dress on." He handed her the hanger with the dress on it. She took it and stared at it. She could see herself in her mind -a much younger and happier self - twirling around in front of a mirror wearing the dress. Her friends had all been so jealous. She was the only one who had lived the dream. Dating a rich handsome guy who had a Mercedes Benz... she completely ignored the other slightly worse memories. They didn't matter now, they were in the past. He'd changed. They'd be happy together. Like they were supposed to, like she deserved.

  


Once in the dress Damien took her hands in his and looked into her eyes.

  


"You look ravishing." He complemented with a growl. She smiled. "Close your eyes. And don't open them no matter what, can you do that for me?" He said in a gentle voice. She nodded and dropped her eyelids.

  


Damien started to speak in some strange language she didn't know and she felt her feet leave the ground. Were they flying? She gripped onto his hands tighter. She felt the air around her get cooler. A slight breeze nuzzled her neck. Were they outside? She wanted to look and see. But Damien said; eyes closed. What if something went wrong and they fell. Sure- she wasn't on the seventh floor or anything, but there was still the fact that the castle was, at least on one side on a large cliff. Then the breeze turned into wind, which kept getting stronger until it was howling tornado. -To her. It was ripping at her beautiful dress and pulling her hair. It was making her exposed shin feel all numb. She couldn't breathe. Just when she was about to call out to Damien. Who despite the horrible wind all around was still holding her hands quite firmly. But then it stopped. She felt ground beneath her feet. It was grass. She was barefoot and the ground was perfect for that sort of footwear. 

  


"You may open your eyes." Damien said softly.

  


She did. She had the feeling of wanting to see everything at once. It was just beautiful. There were high mountains all around, the peaks were out of sight surrounded by clouds. It seemed to be snowing everywhere but where she was. And she was in an enormous garden. There were no plants or trees. Just green soft grass. And there were also horses. White horses, with horns? Of course. Unicorns. There were two of them. They looked rather calm. She though Unicorn were supposed to avoid humans. Maybe these two were tame? She looked around and spotted more horses. Although they were black and seemed to be rather normal. And then there was the palace. It was beautiful. It wasn't like Hogwarts at all. Not a hideous stone castle, it was a pearly white palace. With windows with lights in them. It didn't seem to be the sort of place for Vampires at all. 

  


"It's beautiful here." She whispered. Still in awe of the place. But then she thought about how they had arrived.

  


"How did we get here?" She asked. Hoping that Damien was feeling generous and decided to tell her. 

  


"I just told Lysander where I was and asked him to bring us to him. Simple really. I do wish I could do magic on my own. It would make thing a whole lot easier." He muttered. She looked around some more. They had to be somewhere in the Mount Everest. Well she didn't know much about Geography. A place with many large mountains. There were probably tons of these places. She'd just heard of Everest on the news and on TV shows. But here it was beautiful. Had she ever heard of a place with lots of mountains and had a palace and was beautiful. She hadn't heard of it, but now she was here.

  


"No wonder people become immortal. Who wouldn't want to live in a place like this for ever?" She asked no one in particular. But she got her answer anyway. 

  


"Not everyone is pleased by the same things Triss." The voice wasn't Damien's. It was much older. It didn't sound old though. It was hard to explain. It sounded like the voice of a twenty year old who was actually a thousand year old. That made no sense. She turned to see who it was. It was a man who looked around thirty. He had blue eyes, they were looking at her with interest. But she felt cold. These eyes were so cold. A freezing blue. His hair was a cross between light brown and copper. He wasn't exactly what you call handsome. But he had a certain quality. She felt like she had known him for a long time. 

  


"You didn't tell me she was beautiful Damien. Then I would have understood better why you insisted on fetching her from right under Albus's crooked nose." He said smoothly. It was a line - sure, but he made it sound as though it had never been used before. Well the last part had probably never been used before...

  


"I'm sorry. But I don't know who you are" That had sounded more blunt than she had intended. She hoped she wouldn't get into trouble.

  


"Of course, where are my manners? I am Lysander Dupre." He said, his lip curling into a pleased smirk after seeing her obvious shock.

  


Damien gave her a meaningful look from behind Lysander. It was a look that said quite plainly: You will behave like a proper lady. Or else.

  


She recovered from her shock quickly and reached out her hand.

  


"Charmed, I'm sure" She said with a smile. He accepted her hand and kissed it, his eyes never leaving hers. When he let go of her hand, she allowed it to linger in the air a second before dropping it slowly.

  


"She's very proper." Lysander commented to Damien. Who seemed satisfied with her performance.

  


"I taught her well." Damien replied. The two stared at each other for a second of tense silence before Lysander walked towards the palace waving his hand as a sign for them to follow. She looked at Damien who gave her a feint smile which didn't reach his eyes. 

  


When at the palace Lysander led them past many rooms. Most of them had open doors and she could spot people doing all sorts of things. Most of them were couples sitting together quietly staring out the window. Some were playing card games, others were playing instruments. She wanted to linger outside a closed door where beautiful violin notes floated about. But Damien gave her a sharp look which kept her going. She had been avoiding thinking about what she was doing. She was about to give up death. And she'd have to drink someone's blood. She couldn't do that. Could she? The giving up death part wasn't really so scary, but what if she got tired at some point? Nothing left to do. What would happen to her then? But on the other hand it was exciting. She would be able to watch things that happened. And then in a thousand years she'd be able to teach history. Not that she would want to. But she'd just be able to. That gave her a nice feeling of power. And she'd be more powerful. Albus had said it would hurt but wasn't that just a small price really? It was just pain. She could do pain. She looked at the owner of the dirty blond hair walking ahead of her. He had shown her pain. She didn't know if she resented the fact or was thankful. She hated him. She knew she did. She hated him because of what he could do to her. And she feared him because he did these things to her. And she loved him because she couldn't help it. But could she live with him for eternity? Could he live with her? She knew she was dreading something. But what? Getting bitten? She wasn't dreading that. Well, maybe a little. What if she died within a week? What if she didn't last? What if Lysander just did something awful to her? What if they were just lying to her? What if this was just some huge setup? To get her to believe she was going to get away with everything. But then they'd just... she'd die a horrible death. For some reason her legs stopped working. She couldn't walk through that last door. She just couldn't. Damien had stopped in the door way and was now staring at her menacingly.

  


"Well, get in." He snapped. She could almost feel the frustration he was feeling. She had felt the link they shared getting stronger every second he was near her. If this continued like this she'd soon feel his every emotion, wouldn't she? She wasn't sure she liked that idea. That was something that needed asking about. Her legs decided to wake up and she walked past the impatient, frustrated Damien and into the glamourous room. There were no walls. There were just windows and a roof. The floor was marble and there was no furniture. Nothing made of wood. There was probably nothing of wood in the whole palace. Cause that made sense. So no one who came here would be able to cause any grief. Well that depends on whom you wanted to cause the grief. 

  


Lysander sat down, he sat as if there was a chair beneath him, but unless the room was filled with invisible furniture... there was that strange black and purple glow again. It took the vague form of a chair and Lysander seemed to be quite comfortable.

  


Damien did as Lysander had. Sat down seemingly sure he wasn't about to hit the cold marble floor. And he didn't. The black and purple thing was again forming a chair-like shape. 

  


"Sit down. Just trust the fact that a chair will come." Damien whispered. Lysander didn't look like he'd hear even if Damien had shouted. Lysander looked strangely like he wasn't in his body. His eyes were hollow. He wasn't moving. She cautiously sat down. Not really thinking that the air would support her. But then she just left doubt behind. This was the palace of a old magical man... (Vampire?) Why not? She just sat. And the strangest feeling consumed her. Instead of forming a seat like the ones Lysander and Damien were in, the black and purple thing formed an orb around her much like the day when she had 'fallen' off the balcony.

  


"Sorry Triss. I just have to make sure you wont harm Damien here." Lysander said. Still looking like he was anywhere but there.

  


"It's all right. I understand." She whispered carefully. Really, she didn't feel okay with this. How come he didn't trust her? She couldn't hurt Damien. She couldn't even try. Lysander closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was seemingly normal.

  


"You didn't think it would be easy did you? I have to have something in return for your eternal life. And I have to test you. To see if you have the qualities needed. It's so very dull when people can't handle the bite. It makes them get so boring. I like to keep things interesting." Lysander said this with a insane air about him. His eyes were glinting madly. So much for normal.

  


"Of course I didn't think it would be easy." She answered, trying to sound as humble as she could. She really didn't want this crazy man to get angry with her. That was something she really didn't need. She looked to Damien for help. But he looked just as insane. Well maybe not. He looked very magical. In all the purple and black glow. His eyes were reflecting the purple of the orb and the chair things they were in. He looked so powerful. She wondered how that felt. Being the one with the power. Would she ever know? She felt tired all of a sudden. She felt like she was falling asleep. Except she did sleep. It was weird. It was that feeling you get when you've been lying in bed for a long time trying to sleep. You want to sleep your eyes are glued closed but yet no sleep comes. But although she felt like that. She just knew she was sleeping. Because she could hear her nightmare. She couldn't see it. But she could hear it. But it wasn't her normal nightmare. It was a new one. It didn't seem like a nightmare by the sound of it though. And she started to see pictures. She could see herself. She was wearing a black dress she didn't recognize. Everything about her was black. Except the rose. She was holding a white rose. She was outside. Her feet were bare and there were two unicorns. Standing quite calmly. She was in the garden at the palace. She had to be. Two black horses came up to her. They started biting at her dress. They were ripping and tearing it. But there were always more layers of black. But finally the ripped the last bit of black away and she was wearing all white. But then one of the thorns of the white rose hurt her. She started bleeding. Her dress turned red. There was a big green lightning and both the horses died.

  


"What did you see?" Lysander asked eagerly. Damien's eyes asked the same question.

  


"I was wearing black. I had a white rose. There were two young black horses. They were stripping the black cloth away. But there was always more. Finally there was no more black and I was wearing white. But then one of the rose thorns stung me. I started bleeding. My white dress turned red and there was a huge green lightning. It killed the horses." She spoke quickly. Grabbing on to every detail before it slipped away.

  


Lysander became a sort of shell again. His eyes empty. He looked as if he wasn't there. Then he started speaking.

  


"It means. Two young men will try to cleanse you from your dark past. When they succeed you hurt either yourself or someone else. You don't feel clean anymore. The men will die at the same time, side by side at the hand of some unstoppable power." After Lysander spoke he shuddered and his head rolled around limply. When he appeared to have snapped out of it. She dared to ask one of her million questions. 

  


"Who are these two men in my dream?" 

  


"That is what I would like for you to tell me." Lysander said slowly and clearly. Damien looked at her with sharp eyes. She felt like they were stabbing her.

  


"I don't know." She admitted. She felt very uncomfortable sitting there, enduring their eyes. Those horrid eyes.

  


"It has to be someone who cares about you. Does not want you to feel pain. Someone who wants to help you." Lysander said thoughtfully.

  


"I still don't know. Maybe one. Severus, I doubt it though. He helps me with small things. But that's just because my uncle was his friend or something." She knew she was lying. But Severus caring about her? It was just too absurd. Maybe it was students? She hoped not. She didn't want to be responsible for killing two students. It would be okay if it was Sirius, fine by her if he dropped dead because of some unstoppable force.

  


"Anyone else?" Lysander inquired.

  


"Well, I suppose Sirius was helping me... but he does not care about me. He cares about Harry though." She hadn't meant to sound that bitter. She didn't envy the Potter boy. Who cared about what Sirius felt? It was she who mattered. Only her. 

  


**Author note: Well I hope you enjoyed. I want to give my thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It means a lot to me. It also keeps me writing. So thanks a lot. ^_^**

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  



	12. chapter twelve

  


**Note: I'm very sorry for how long this chapter took. But you know how it is, with school and all that. Plus, this is a very difficult stage in the story. Well, please**

** enjoy.**

  


  


**Damien**

  


  


** by Sarah Black**

  


  


** Chapter Twelve**

  


  


  


When she opened her eyes she was confused at first. Hadn't she just been inside the orb thing in that large room? What happened? She was now in a large very

comfortable bed. The covers smelled really nice. She rolled around and found Damien beside her. Her heart stopped. Then she remembered, he wasn't going to hurt her

anymore. She relaxed and watched him sleep. He looked so different when his eyes were closed. He looked younger, innocent. His hair was tousled and he was

breathing softly and noiselessly. She had no idea for how long she just watched him. She wasn't thinking or remembering just being. It was so good, so easy. Albus was

wrong; things could be easy. You just had to know where to go, whom to trust. She was confused; it seemed so long ago that she had been terrified of her own shadow

because of Damien. Now she just felt silly for thinking that way. Damien had changed. He was good now. Or was she just fooling herself? He shifted and opened his

eyes peering at her. She stared right back into his eyes. They were so black. And they seemed so old, as if he were much older than he looked. She raised her left hand

and brushed her fingertips along his cheek and jaw. At first he didn't seem to notice as their eyes were still locked. Without warning he snatched her wrist bringing her

hand up to his lips. She closed her eyes as his lips brushed the back of her hand. How had she lived six months without him? A picture of Severus came to her mind. Her

right hand went to her neck as she looked for her necklace. It wasn't there. Her eyes snapped open and she looked again into Damien's silently questioning him. 

  


  


"What is it?" His voice was hoarse as it always was early in the morning.

  


  


"My necklace?" She questioned wrinkling her forehead. He saw the lines and bringing his hand to her forehead he smoothed them out.

  


  


"I took it off in your room, before you put your dress on." He said, his voice still hoarse.

  


  


"I didn't notice..." She trailed off. 

  


  


"It would have gotten ruined here anyway. Lysander has many things under his control; his mind is great, he uses it to control things. You saw it yourself how he has

manipulated energy. He saved you once when you jumped off a balcony." He had such a soothing voice. She smiled at him. It would be nice to just lie there forever.

  


  


"We have to get up. Lysander wants to make some tests on you today." He told her calmly as he got out of the bed. She let out a small noise of protest but he glared at

her in such a way that she didn't dare speak against him. 

  


  


She got out of bed herself and dressed in a white dress that had obviously been put out for her. It was a light summer dress made of comfortable material. She wanted to

see how she looked, but there was no mirror in the room. Damien was starting to look impatient so she just settled for asking him how she looked.

  


  


"You look more beautiful than the sun setting in the mountains on a clear winter evening. Now let us go." He said holding the door open for her. She walked through

whispering a thank you as she passed him. It still amazed her that she could have been frightened of him. 

  


  


After they had eaten breakfast Damien led her to the same large room she had been in earlier. She wondered if she'd get stuck inside some orb again. Lysander was

there and looking more stable than before. He was wearing all white and he seemed to be staring out one of the many windows. The view was really very beautiful, but

she didn't feel like enjoying it. She wanted some answers, and a doubt was in her heart. What if she was being hypnotized? She had no way of knowing now that her

necklace was gone. She wished she still had it with her. And she wanted to know about her dreams, did they mean something? Why was she having them?

  


  


"I suppose you want some answers." Lysander said calmly. He turned around to face her with a fatherly smile on his face. She wondered about his age. He didn?t look

any older than twenty to thirty years old.

  


  


"Yes, I want to ask you,? She paused a little. ?About my dreams. Do you know anything about them?" She asked, hoping she wasn't showing some disrespect or

something. She glanced at Damien who was standing quietly at the door. He seemed lost in his own thoughts.

  


  


"I am sorry if they are an inconvenience. I believe they are my fault. I hope you can forgive for manipulating your mind in that way. You are a very open minded person. I

was able to use my powers to get you to dream. I myself cannot use this power; my mind is not suitable. Do you see?" He talked clearly, never braking eye contact with

her.

  


  


"You have the power of dreaming, but you can't use it yourself?" Even to her it sounded silly. Everyone could dream. Dreams were just nonsense. Well, the dream she

had had in that very room hadn't been meaningless to Lysander. Maybe that was what he meant. Meaningful dreams, they told the future. Or did they? She wasn't sure.

  


  


"Close, my dear. The dreams often serve as warnings, but sadly they don't make any sense until after the event. I can decipher dreams easily; I have studied the art for

many centuries. It's not easy to find true seers..." Lysander trailed off and seemed to go. His eyes were empty again. She found it very creepy and she wondered what

was actually happening to him, was he using his minds energy to control something? -Someone? Or was he just completely mental? And what was this test Damien had

spoken of?

  


  


Lysander finally snapped out of his state of emptiness and turned to look out the window again. He beckoned her over. She walked cautiously over to him trying not to

make too much sound as she crossed the marble floor, but her bare feet kept sticking to the floor in a weird way. For a moment they both just stood there admiring the

view. The mountains all around, the large garden with the two unicorns and the black horses. Everything looked so peaceful. She found herself wishing again to remain

there forever. 

  


  


"Why did you decide to come here?" Lysander asked at last.

  


  


"I don't know." She answered, now she was in awe of the view, she really hadn't taken the time to enjoy it the day before it seemed different from this point of view-

more beautiful.

  


  


"Of course you know. You had two choices, what made you want to take this option?" He spoke in such a clear voice she was sure that if she were only hearing him and

not seeing she wouldn't know whether he was male or female. He could so easily be both.

  


  


"I'm not sure, I just didn't want to die I guess." She answered, although she felt this wasn't the answer he was looking to get.

  


  


"But wasn't there more to it?" Lysander urged her on.

  


  


"Damien, I wanted to give him - us - another chance." She said dreamily. It didn't feel like she was really speaking. More like she was thinking loudly, or rather -louder

than usual.

  


  


"Why did you want to give him another chance?" Lysander questioned. 

  


  


"Because I love him." She said again dreamily. She felt asleep, although she knew perfectly well she was awake.

  


  


"Congratulations." Lysander said suddenly. She felt as if she were snapping out of a dream. 

  


  


"What did I do?" She asked, surprised. 

  


  


"You've passed my test. If the motive is love, not I nor anyone else can stand in your way." An odd glint appeared in his eyes as he spoke the words.

  


  


Instead of comforting her, the words seemed to awaken dread in her heart. Was she really that much in love? She had let Hogwarts stand in her way. She had let her

beliefs get in the way. If this was true love she had why had she let those things get in her way? 

  


  


Lysander nodded at Damien who came over to the two. 

  


  


"Why don't you take Christine outside for a horseback ride?" Asked Lysander, the question was aimed for Damien but she answered anyway.

  


  


"I'd love to go!" She squealed. She didn't really know how to ride a horse, but the horses out there - they seemed really nice.

  


  


Damien led her out of the palace and again the passed the corridor with the many doors. This time there was no music flowing in the air, except one harp. She thought

about it, most of the people here must play instruments, they live forever what else can the possibly do with their time? Well, a lot of things but learning how to play an

instrument is a nice way to spend eternity. All of a sudden Albus's voice seemed to echo in her head. He was telling her the terms for receiving eternal life. Ruthless.

These people didn't seem like that at all. They seemed very nice. 

  


  


They were outside again and she relished the feel of the soft grass under her feet. Damien was just standing around not really doing anything when a beautiful steed

came to him. It was black like most of the horses, well, all of the horses. The ones that weren?t black were unicorns.

  


  


She came over to Damien and the black horse. 

  


  


"Is he yours?" She asked not bothering to hide the excitement in her voice.

  


  


"He is the one best suited for me. You will be chosen by one of them, just stand in plain view and think about riding a horse." He instructed, she was a bit disappointed

that each and everyone didn't get to choose a horse, cause that would have been cool.

  


  


She did as Damien had told her and after a while one of the black horses came over to her. It nuzzled her neck she responded by jumping away in surprise. The horse

stomped one of his hooves impatiently.

  


  


Damien walked over to her. "This is Lucas, he is rather new," Damien gestured towards the horse. "You might have a few difficulties, just try not to fall off." 

  


  


She bit her lip as she watched Damien mount the horse. There was no saddle. Damien looked at her impatiently. She took a deep breath and jumped on. As soon as they

had started going forward images started flowing through her mind. They were horrible. At first it was just things she'd seen at parties when she was younger. A girl

covered in her own vomit and so on and so forth. Then the old Damien came looming into her head, then herself. She was lying in a puddle of her own blood shaking in

agony. She remembered when that happened. Damien had been out with Noah the whole night he came home, stinking of Vodka and then he started accusing her of

cheating on him. When she denied he had gone into a blinding rage. It had been a week at the hospital because her arm had been broken. She let go of her hold on the

horse to touch the spot where her bone had broken. She felt a bit dizzy. She wanted to fall off as the next image ran through her mind. It was her again except it was a

very recent picture she was on the balcony and now she was falling -into the lake- the monster saved her and she was on the bank of the lake. She could feel the

coldness of that day in her very soul. She shivered and let go of the horse, she almost fell but she came to her senses and grabbed hold again. All of a sudden she could

see Damien, he was walking carelessly along a long corridor. It was a corridor she recognized. It was a Hogwarts corridor. She went limp. She felt herself slide off the

horse, but before she hit the ground she felt something grab her and push her up again. It was Damien he hissed in her ear not to fall off again. She mumbled something in

response. But the horrible images started flashing through her mind again. 

  


  


When they finally got back to the place they had started out from, she was exhausted. All the memories they were very difficult to handle. Damien had ridden close to

her and had helped her several times when she had almost fallen. Lysander stood outside waiting for them. Damien glared at Lysander who glared back. But then his

eyes softened when he looked at her.

  


  


"Triss? Are you all right?" Concern was oozing from his tone of voice. 

  


  


"I'm fine..." She whispered hoarsely and tried to smile. She couldn't get the muscles in her face to work so she just looked down instead.

  


  


"I'm impressed with you Triss, your mind is much stronger than I thought." After Lysander uttered these words he looked pointedly at Damien. Damien didn't flinch or do

anything, but she herself flinched at the accusation in Lysander's eyes.

  


  


"Your mind is ready. That is enough." Lysander declared. 

  


  


There was a huge warning sign inside of her head and she felt like she was supposed to be figuring something out. But all she could think was how tired she was. These

tests were tiring. Tests? That was a test. Damien -Lysander hadn't told her that. How unfair.

  


  


"Why didn't you tell me it was a test?" She asked, surprising herself with the venom in her voice. (Hello, the fourteen-year-old inside of her still.)

  


  


Lysander smirked at these words.

  


  


"It wouldn't have accomplished anything if you had known what was coming." Lysander explained, smirking sill.

  


  


  


  


  


She felt the anger drain out of her, had she really thought that? ... What had she been thinking? She only wanted some answers. How did he make her live those awful

memories? She needed to know or she'd go insane.

  


  


"How..." She asked resenting the fact that her voice sounded so weak, but then again it always sounded that way. She stopped caring. Lysander finished the question for

her.

  


  


"... Did I make those memories appear?" he was smiling now -almost proudly. "I remember informing you of your open mind, that makes it so much easier. Anyway, I

have trapped some of the Dementors? power inside my head. Ingenious, I know. It allows me to test another's strength of mind." His smile looked as if he had just

invented the Internet or something of that sort.

  


  


"That's very smart of you." She complemented quietly. 'Lysander' had gone off somewhere though and was just staring blankly at the door of the palace that they had

now reached. None of the three moved. She waited for something to happen. Nothing did. Not until Lysander snapped out of it and pulled the handle. How simple, she

thought.

  


  


"Now, go to your room and rest. We shall have another meeting tomorrow." Lysander said and walked off.

  


  


Damien grabbed her wrist and forced her to look into his eyes.

  


  


"If it hadn't been for me you would have fallen off for sure." He hissed. She felt her muscles tense and she stared into his eyes glittering with malice. 

  


  


"Thank you." She whispered. He loosened his hold on her wrist but still he held on. Then he started pulling her towards their rooms.

  


  


*

  


  


The next day she woke up feeling rested. But she didn't look forward to the meeting with Lysander. Damien seemed to feel the other way around because he was in a

wonderful mood, tickling her neck where the wounds from his bite had been. She giggled stupidly and rolled out of his reach. Then she set her feet on the cold floor and

dressed. Again there were clothes out for her use and she put them on without question. It was a dress with long sleeves, white as usual. She twirled around the skirt

fanning out around her. She adored such dresses. Damien opened the door for her and they walked to the window room where Lysander awaited for them. She was

surprised when they passed through the corridor with the doors. No sound came from any of the doors, yet it was past noon. 

  


  


When they entered, the window room all was explained. There were a lot of people in there and everyone was sitting in those black/purple 'chairs' except Lysander. He

was standing on the exact same spot as yesterday looking out one of the windows.

  


  


"Good you're here." He said without looking over his shoulder. Damien gave her a small push and she walked towards Lysander. For some reason her heart was beating

faster than usual. She found it difficult to breathe and it was an ordeal to move forward at all. When she was close enough to Lysander to grab he did just that. His hands

gripped her exposed shoulders and without further ceremony he bit her. It wasn't like when Damien bit her. This was pain beyond anything she had experienced before

-which was saying a lot- it was a burning, cutting and overall horrible sensation. Was Damien really worth all this? She didn't care. She felt some alien fluid enter her

bloodstream. It was acid eating her up from the inside. Was she dying? No, but she wished she was. Lysander let go of her and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. She

was shaking. She was lying on the marble floor -shaking uncontrollably. Her hand went to her neck but she found no wound. Another wave of even worse pain rippled

through her body. Her mouth opened in a silent scream. She couldn't feel her voice. It didn't seem to be there at all. She was vaguely aware of the fact that someone

picked her up and carried her back to bed. The pain wouldn't stop. She felt as if she was being burnt, stabbed and boiled and then there were a lot of unfamiliar

sensations to boot. When she finally found her voice she let out a piercing scream. She screamed and screamed but finally her voice got so hoarse that she couldn't utter

a single syllable. She just shivered and tossed and turned and felt the tears running in a constant stream. She lost all track of time. She didn't eat nor sleep. She just felt

the pain. 

  


  


Months passed

  


  


She screamed as she felt her blood ripple in angry waves. But then it stopped. There was no pain. It was the opposite, actually. She felt bliss. She had never felt this

good. She felt her limp dirty hair and her weak body transform. She was strong. She was beautiful. She was confident. 

  


  


"Triss?" 

  


  


The voice seemed far too loud in her ears. She opened her eyes and for the first time she could really see. This was amazing. She could hear and see the small ant

crawling on the windowsill. She ran her hand through her hair. She felt every single hair touching her oversensitive hand. And her hair didn't feel limp and dirty. It was

healthy and in perfect ringlets. Then she remembered Damien. 

  


  


"What happened?" She said her voice sounding strangely loud and foreign. 

  


  


"You're a Vampire now my dear Triss." Damien whispered but his voice still sounded loud. All these noises were giving her a headache.

  


  


"I know how it feels at first. Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Damien spoke softly and almost fondly. She smiled at him. 

  


  


"I want to have a shower." She whispered.

  


  


"Then go have one." He whispered back.

  


  


She put on a fake scared look. "I'm afraid to go alone." 

  


  


"Are you really?" He raised an eyebrow.

  


  


"No." She laughed. It didn't seem like her laughter, though. Nothing like her nervous giggle. It seemed as if she wasn't the one in control anymore. It was that alien

fluid... it had done something strange to her. She felt as if she was only watching now; Like a prisoner in her own body. 

  


  


"Lets go."

  


  


  


** Note: I'm sorry again. I'll try not to take as long with the next chapter.**


	13. chapter thirteen

**Author note: Here it is the next chapter. There's a bit of a cliffhanger so be aware. This chapter might be a bit shorter than usual but I'll try to write more soon.**

  


  


**Damien**

  


**by Sarah Black**

  


**Chapter thirteen**

  


  


_She was walking in an open space, she was wearing a white dress. Her dress was blowing in the wind. She was walking on black sand and broken shards of glass. Now she was riding a unicorn. She was riding so fast. Her hair flagged out behind her. The wind made her flush red. But then the unicorn threw her off. She hit the hard ground and the glass cut into her skin. She ran away from the unicorn, it didn't chase her. She looked up to see a raven flying far above her, she followed it. But then she was interrupted by a small puppy playfully biting at her ankle. She kicked it off. It yelped, but then it started pulling at her skirt. It pulled her towards a road. She could see far ahead there were dragons on the road. She kicked the puppy off again and started running after the raven. Finally the raven flew down and sat on her shoulder. She started walking slowly towards the road again. A flash of white. It was the unicorn! She chased after it and caught it. The raven flew off. She mounted the unicorn and it carried her a great distance away from the road. Then it threw her off again. She broke off it's horn and stabbed it._

  


Christine woke up with a start in her fancy bed, next to her lay Damien. Sleeping peacefully. She calmed herself down and went back to sleep.

  


*

  


"There's something missing." She said thoughtfully. It had been two months and she had never in her life felt as good as she did now. Life was perfect. She had moved back to London with Damien and they were living in their previous apartment, Damien went back to doing whatever it was that he did and she went back to looking pretty. Although Damien had insisted on removing all mirrors and wooden objects from the place - it was wonderful. She was now shopping with Damien. They were eating ice cream and just people watching. Then it struck her, there was something missing.

  


"I know" Damien answered her casually.

  


"You do?" She asked feeling relaxed; she always seemed to feel relaxed lately. Perhaps it was that feeling of power? She knew not much could rival her. It gave her a feeling of confidence a feeling she had been completely unfamiliar with a few months ago.

  


"I've been waiting for you to notice it." He said, a smirk forming on his face. She scooped a bit of ice cream with her spoon and smudged his nose with it. At first he looked ready to breathe fire in anger - but then he just calmed down and smiled. She leaned forward kissing his nose, licking the ice cream off at the same time. He smiled a sinister smile; he did that a lot. She liked it; it sent shivers up and down her spine.

  


"Well, can you tell me what I'm missing?" She asked, putting on the cutest look she could muster.

  


"Blood." He answered simply. An old lady walking by looked at them strangely. She smiled showing off her teeth, the old lady started walking away faster.

  


"Where do I get blood?" She asked feeling - not for the first time - like she wasn't at all in control of what she said and did.

  


"At Hogwarts of course." Damien took a large spoonful of ice cream. She didn't do the same. She wasn't sure why, but a deeply suspicious feeling had been aroused somewhere in her.

  


"Why Hogwarts?" She asked, resenting how her voice suddenly quivered.

  


"Triss, don't be stupid. Did you really think that after seven years I'd let my love - my life - go for absolutely no reason?" Damien laughed cruelly after the mocking question. "No my love, I found your uncle - I was going to use him... but unfortunately he - er -died." Damien was still chuckling a bit. She just felt thunderstruck. Of course she had wondered about why Damien had just let her go, she had wondered a lot. But what did her uncle have to do with anything? And was he implying that her uncle dying hadn't been a coincident?

  


"Damien?" She was timid. She felt strange, so inferior.

  


"You mean you haven't figured it out?" Damien looked genuinely surprised.

  


"No." She answered blankly. What was she supposed to have figured out? This was getting confusing; if it had been her old self she'd be getting a headache.

  


"I contacted your uncle and told him some sob-story about you, I pretended to be your neighbor. Anyway, I told him when to call, when 'the boyfriend' would be gone. I'd keep you at that Hogwarts place - Lysander told me about it, you see Lysander and I have been in contact for a while. Ever wonder where I went on my little trips?" Damien gave her a meaningful look. "You see, I had to keep you in place, I couldn't allow you to get lost in the crowds of London. How would I find you? But Lysander killed your uncle - using some really old spell." Damien smiled as he picked lazily at the melting ice cream.

  


She knew she was staring at him and she knew that her mouth was probably forming a small 'o'. She didn't care.

  


"But what, I mean you said... what did you mean you were going to use my uncle?" She asked when she recovered her voice.

  


"Well, this is the thing - you need to drink blood from someone you have an emotional bond with, but a relative works fine as well. So I was going to keep him around so you could suck him dry when that time came." Damien spoke a little too loudly and three teenage girls eating fast food near by stopped giggling and looked over to the couple weirdly. Then they started whispering excitedly.

  


"Your ice cream is melting." Damien commented out of the blue.

  


She pushed the small container away listlessly.

  


"Why have you not told me any of this before?" She demanded angrily.

  


"You never asked." He shrugged and went back to his nearly finished ice cream.

  


"I'm tired, lets go home." She said, standing up abruptly. He nodded and they headed for the parking lot. Once they were on the road she had that feeling of emptiness, which had been plaguing her for a while now. She remembered what had prompted her conversation with Damien and decided to bring the subject up again.

  


"Where will I get blood?"

  


Most guys would have crashed into the back of the next car if their girlfriends had asked the same. Not Damien. She smiled at the thought.

  


"I told you already, at Hogwarts." Damien answered stopping at a sudden red light and honking at a slower car.

  


"I've been at Hogwarts and I'm pretty sure the corridors are not filled with blood." She muttered. Damien could be rather irritating at times. But she loved him anyway. She remembered Easter fondly.

  


"Well, you were there - surely there's someone there which you hate or fear?" Damien seemed relaxed, as if it was a sure thing that she had a strong emotional bond with someone at Hogwarts.

  


"Well, I really can't stand Sirius..." She thought out loud.

  


"Good, you can use him." Damien started driving much faster.

  


"But I don't really hate him." She hurriedly added. Closing her eyes as they sped past a large truck.

  


"Well, that Albus person then. Lysander really hates him." Damien suggested.

  


"I don't really have any feelings that concern him - good or bad." She muttered feeling relieved as they pulled into the building parking lot.

  


"Well, who then?" Damien was getting frustrated, he parked the car and they both got out.

  


"I don't know you sort of scarred me, you see? I didn't just run amok opening my heart to anyone." The anger and hurt blazing from the sound of her voice surprised her. Was she really that bitter? The feeling left her and she had the familiar emptiness inside her again.

  


"I scarred you?" Damien spoke softly - dangerously. He grabbed her shoulders, pinning her to the ground. He then leaned forwards, whispering into her ear...

  


"I never meant to, I love you."

  


"Of course you do." She uttered blankly. He watched her suspiciously for a moment. And then he took her hand and pulled her inside the tall building, in which they lived.

  


When inside their apartment a blinding need overwhelmed her. She had to have blood. Right away. She walked up to Damien. Not thinking. She was reaching out for his head opening her mouth -feeling fangs emerge- when he turned around and caught her. They stared into each other?s eyes for who knows how long, before the doorbell rang. She went to answer; it was some sales man. She shut the door on his face.

  


"I need to go to Hogwarts now." She screamed. It wasn't her own voice though. And not for the first time she watched herself get ready, watched herself have a brief conversation with Damien on how they were to get there. She watched as they drove to the airport - never in control of her actions. Only looking out a window. Trapped. She had to get out. But she couldn't. The other thing was too strong. She couldn't fight it.

  


Next thing she knew was that she was in a rented car, Damien was driving and familiar mountains could be seen. She knew Hogwarts castle was just around the corner. And this time she saw it straight away. The first time - her uncle had a job convincing her she didn't actually have an appointment with the dentist. She remembered being afraid when she saw that sign - which was nowhere in sight now - about the castle 'ruins' not being safe. She saw Albus watching them from a window. Actually there were faces in all of the Great Hall windows. She realized it had to be odd for the wizards to see an ordinary car pull up. She walked out of the car; regretting choosing to wear high heals. And opened the gate. Damien drove to her and she got back into the car for the brief ride to the front of the castle.

  


Damien walked into the castle before her, holding the door open for her. She walked through the door meeting Damien's sinister smirk with her own identical one.

  


People were coming out of the Great Hall everyone was whispering. She could hear every single word.

  


"Who is that cute guy?"

  


"Isn't that the caretaker?"

  


"What a cool car!"

  


"What's she doing back here?"

  


"Wow, she had one good makeover."

  


She smiled fully as the sound of all the hearts beating - pumping blood - hit her full blast. She saw Albus coming down the marble staircase.

  


"Christine?" He asked timidly eyeing Damien suspiciously.

  


"Yes?" She heard herself say. This was so frustrating, she had thought she was back in control and she wasn't. Her voice was so different... it wasn't small and unsure. It was smooth and it had, it had a sort of girlish innocence to it.

  


"Where have you been?" Albus asked, seemingly at loss for words.

  


"Around." Her voice said cutely.

  


"Who's that man you have with you?" Albus asked sharply. Damien stepped forward.

  


"I am Damien Dupre" He mock bowed.

  


"Christine what are you doing with him?" Albus's voice was sharper than any sword.

  


"Playing." She put her arms around Damien. She was so confused. This wasn't her! Why was she acting like such a plastic doll?

  


Then Severus arrived, he had been walking from the dungeon corridor heading for the Great Hall, but stopped dead when he saw her.

  


Some of the other teachers seemed to wake up and started yelling for the students to go back to their common rooms. The people started to - reluctantly - walk away.

  


Severus walked up to her. "Christine?" He whispered. He didn't seem to quite believe his eyes.

  


"We thought you were dead." He said incredulously.

  


"You thought wrong." She heard herself say in a singsong voice. "Didn't they darling?" She then added looking up at Damien. But it was odd, she felt sort of bad. She felt as if she were betraying Severus. Why? It was probably because they were friends. But it was weird. Damien seemed to realise her thoughts and a devilish smile appeared on his lips.

  


"Use him." He whispered. After those two words she seemed to snap out of a coma. She couldn't hurt Severus. He wasn't just her friend. He was more then her friend. He had understood her. Helped her. He had missed her; she could see it in his eyes. But no one else probably could. After all she had that super vision thing...

  


"I can't, Damien." She whispered. Damien looked at her strangely.

  


"Of course you can, Triss I know you can." He encouraged, smiling a smile, saying quite plainly - do it or you'll be in so much trouble.

  


"Christine, what happened? You look - different. Where'd you go?" Severus was steadily becoming angry. He was probably angry with her. Maybe he was angry with himself for being confused. She knew he hated not knowing the answer.

  


"I- I don't know." She felt dizzy. Dizzy with want, dizzy with need, she had to have blood. Now!

  


"Just bite him, you can hypnotize him" Damien urged. It was so easy. She didn't care - he'd live. She just had to have blood. She closed her eyes and began to will him to come to her. She was vaguely aware of Damien talking to Albus- distracting him. No one beside the four were there.

  


Come here.

  


She thought it, willed it.

  


Severus seemed to be having a hard time holding her off. But he was and after a moment he started fighting her back.

  


Bite Damien, hurt him, stake him!

  


The need for blood was worse than ever. She couldn't see anything anymore. Just red. She saw red everywhere. Blood. She had to have it. She grabbed someone. Felt her fangs grow large and ignoring his screams, ignoring his arms pushing her away fighting for his life. She bit down.

  


The feeling was beyond anything she'd ever felt. It was bliss beyond bliss. It was nothing like being bitten. She felt power surging through her body, her bones -her very being. And the blood. Instead of tasting metallic, it tasted like water tastes to a man who has lived in a desert for twenty days. It was life. She wasn't just drinking blood; she was drinking the very life force out of him. And it was bliss. But then something went wrong. Instead of the power increasing it was lessening. The blood started tasting like blood. The body she was holding was heavy all of a sudden. She was blind. She was deaf. The sticky liquid stank and she felt so bad. Wrong, bad, wrong. No. She wanted to throw up. She felt something leave her and as soon as it had left everything went black.

  


**Author note: Please review!**


	14. chapter fourteen

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the places or anything else, which**

**is copyrighted or trademarked by people other than me. It's JKR's or Warner**

**Brothers or both.**

  


**Author note: Pretty slow chapter, beware of the cliffy.**

  


**Damien**

**by Sarah Black**

**Chapter fourteen**

  


  


  


No not the hospital smell! She couldn't take the cleanness of it. What was

wrong with those people, submitting her to the obnoxious cruelty of white

sterilized sheets? She wanted to thrash about and moan in protest but she

felt too drained to do anything. Well, anything but suffering from the smell

of the place. Her nose seemed uncommonly tender. What on earth had happened

to her? The last thing she remembered properly was Damien putting his arm

around her in her room. She had just put on –or had she merely been about

to? –Her dress. After that everything was rather hazy. A sudden pounding in

her ears interrupted her thoughts. Who was trying to wake the whole school

up by using a set of drums? She wondered for a small amount of time. Then

her wondering was interrupted with the answer to all of her questions. It

was footsteps! Why were they so loud? Were there elephants trying to

stampede? She managed to groan out a complaint. But something told her that

those damn elephants wouldn't understand a groan of frustration.

  


"Shhhhhh" She hissed, and with an effort she managed to bring her hands to

her ears. Where she closed off the ear area with her hands.

  


No matter how hard she pressed though, she could still hear the hushed

voices.

  


"Poppy, is she all right?" Albus's voice oozed with concern. Wait, how had

she recognized his voice right away? Something was not right.

  


"She thinks we're noisy." Poppy's very loud –when I say loud, I mean

extremely loud– voice chirped.

  


Her lips gave another moan. An intense headache started to build up in her

throbbing head. Why were they so god damned loud? She couldn't take it. She

wanted to scream– to do something drastic to make them all quiet. She

thrashed about on the bed in a wild rage. She pulled the pillow from

underneath her head and pressed it over her head. Praying it would muffle

the voices out. It worked– a little.

  


"We aren't that loud. I mean we're whispering, aren't we?" Albus's voice

sounded now a bit louder than normal. But she could stand it. Her headache

was a bother though. It was as if Þór stood in there with his hammer

smashing her brain into a porridge of gray.

  


"Some of her– er, extra senses haven't left her quite yet. I suppose it'll

be another week before they lessen at all." Poppy sighed and she could hear

her bustling about with some sort of soft fabric. If it hadn't been for the

pillow over her head she would have probably been able to tell exactly what

sort of fabric she was using. But at that time, she couldn't. As she did

actually have a pillow over her agonized head.

  


"You mean she isn't a Vampire anymore?" The soft –even silky– voice of

Severus sounded. He was thoughtful. Probably pondering something of

importance. But then again, when was he not?

  


"I believe, that by biting that blond haired man she undid most of it."

Poppy chirped happily.

  


She didn't understand very well what they were talking about. But slowly it

started to make sense. She remembered her talk with Dumbledore, where he had

explained about the Dupre family. He had said that Vampires would have more

powerful senses. Had she been made a Vampire? How could she have been so

weak? All that training for nothing! She had almost reached her toes last

Wednesday... day? What day was it? How long had she been out? She had to

find out properly what happened. Maybe she could even get Severus to get her

some nice tasting Headache Cure.

  


Slowly, she pulled the pillow off her head. The noise was almost unbearable

and the pain in her head nearly blinded her. Everything was too bright! She

forced her eyes to open up a bit more and in a few seconds, after many

blinks she could see –vaguely– what was around her.

  


"Are you quite all right, dear?" Poppy's voice seemed to be as loud as a

scream in her ear. She clamped her hands over her ears again.

  


"Please, be quiet. Close the window. Too bright, too loud." She gasped out,

her voice was dry and too loud and she needed water. She was utterly

parched.

  


She could hear Severus walk over to the windows, shut them and draw the

curtains shut. She recognized his robe billowing behind him and his

footfall, light almost beyond hearing. She thanked him mentally, although

she would have thrown herself at him and hugged him if she had had the

strength. She was that grateful.

  


She felt an icy glass of water being put into her hand. She took a great

gulp from it. The feel of the icy liquid running down her throat surpassed

every kiss she had received in her life. Every good feeling she had felt

before seemed like a pain compared to this.

  


Her curiosity was overwhelming and she felt that if she didn't get some

answers soon she'd burst.

  


"What happened?" She asked, finally able to see properly enough. Albus

smiled weakly. There was a twinkle in his eye, but it wasn't as bright as it

usually was.

  


"'What happened,' indeed. We were hoping you would be able to help us in the

matter of explaining things." Albus muttered stroking his beard. He had

actually just been muttering to himself, but she heard it anyway and

responded.

  


"I can't remember anything." Admitting the fact seemed to trigger her memory

though, for a large palace popped into her head.

  


"Then we must wait for you to recover your memory." Albus spoke gently. He

was careful not to upset her hearing and for that she was thankful.

  


"I remember one thing; a large palace, very beautiful." She gasped out the

last part as her headache flared up.

  


Poppy came over with a foul smelling potion.

  


"Drink up dear." The Madam ordered. She allowed the vile potion to be

stuffed down her throat. And it's relaxing affects kicked in right away. She

had been propping herself up on her elbows. But now she allowed her body to

rest against the soft (but a bit rumpled) pillow and mattress.

  


"I'll tell you our side of the story. Why don't you rest while I tell you?"

Albus softly began telling her what had been happening. It was apparently

near the end of June and school was almost out. She had been away for a

while and they had thought her to be dead. The students had been a bit

troubled at her sudden disappearance, but they were soon comforted when they

learned it was for personal reasons. They were comforted because they had

feared news of Voldemort. Odd, she had nearly forgotten about him. Albus

kept talking and she learned that Sirius who had been keeping near the

castle almost all of term had gone away after her disappearance. She smiled

at that. No more bewaring of large black dogs being around the corner. At

least that was good news. Not much had happened, though. Except, –of course–

for the increase in Voldemort's power. They knew about a number of Death

Eater attacks, but the minister of magic refused to believe the dark wizard

had indeed returned. She fell asleep when Albus started rambling bravely

about his plans and their duty. The man didn't seem to even notice her

nodding off.

  


*

  


A week had passed and thankfully her senses were nearly back to normal.

Poppy said that it would probably take longest for the hearing to return to

its former state. It had something to do with some sort of sensing things in

her ears that had become strong and blah, blah, blah. She didn't really

care. It was all right to hear whether someone was in the next corridor or

not, but it was a completely different matter when she could hear a fly

buzzing in the dungeons when she was on the third floor. Actually, she had

never been able to hear anyone walking in the next corridor, but you catch

my drift.

  


Severus was visiting again. He had arrived to see her every single day of

her hospital stay, always insisting that he was here to see if she could

remember anything at all. The fact remained that she had told him and Albus

everything she could remember two days ago. They had been amazed at her

tale. Albus had even told her something he had probably not meant to say. He

had told her –after she described the interior of the palace– that it

hadn't looked like that to him. Severus had been most helpful though. He had

been the one to realize why she hadn't been able to remember most of it at

first. He had realized himself when she told him that Damien had slipped her

necklace off. She had been under some kind of hypnotism. It was more subtle

and less powerful than most, but it had made her easier to control. Anyhow,

as she had been under that sordid spell the whole time she hadn't been able

to remember some of the details; like where exactly the place was. Damien

had told her once, but her mind refused her admittance to the memory.

  


Albus had been angry sad and jealous all at the same time. She had

recognized the jealousy, but she didn't know why he had felt envy. What had

she done to deserve his envy? Or perhaps it wasn't her at all. Maybe it was

some private feud between him and Lysander? Who knew? Not her, that was for

sure. And she didn't really want to make it her business.

  


"What are you thinking about?" She asked suddenly. Severus hadn't said

anything for a while and she was beginning to wonder if he had fallen asleep

with his eyes open.

  


"Just how much I hate this place." Severus sighed. His expression didn't

change and he was staring –almost unblinkingly– out the window.

  


"Hogwarts?" She asked with a yawn. Although she knew he was referring to the

hospital wing. He didn't answer.

  


"What time is it?" She asked to prevent another long silence.

  


"Nearly lunch." He answered and turned to face her. She was glad he did. He

had started to remind her of Damien. That reminded her. They still hadn't

told her what became of him. They wouldn't tell her what happened. She was

getting more than a little tired of asking.

  


"What happened to Damien?" She tried her luck. Maybe twelve was a charm? Or

was that three?

  


"That's what I came to tell you." He looked into her eyes. And she knew,

whatever he was about to tell her. It was bad.

  


"You killed him." He said bluntly. And when she thought about it, there was

no other way of telling her this. If he had gone some huge difficult way

around it the impact of the truth would have been even harder to bear. The

taste of his blood on her tongue returned for a fraction of a second and she

knew. She knew what he said was true. She'd never see Damien ever again. He

was gone. Even if she were to look upon his body, it wouldn't be him. It

would be a shell. Damien was so much more than just flesh and bone. He was

her boyfriend. She had always thought she'd marry him eventually. How could

this happen? She felt tears running down her cheek. No noise was coming from

her. She couldn't portray her agony in any earthly sound. Pain and sorrow

welled up inside her. It was pressing her vocal cords; finally she gave up

the fight and let a piercing scream escape her. She buried her head in the

covers, crying her eyes out. The pain she had experienced whilst

transforming into a Vampire wasn't comparable to the agony of losing him. He

wasn't just her boyfriend. He was a part of her soul.

  


Some time later she quit crying. She had no more tears to shed. Her heart

felt cold and empty. It was as if Damien had taken her heart with him.

Wherever he had gone...

  


Severus had gone a few minutes after she had opened the gate, letting the

flood of tears flow. He had probably wanted to allow her to grieve in peace.

How thoughtful of him. How very thoughtful.

  


*

  


The students were gone.

  


The castle was quiet.

  


Her heart was gone.

  


Her mind was quiet.

  


She was out of the hospital wing. Thank light. She had nearly thrown herself

out the window, unfortunately; Albus had expected her to response in that

way; and ordered someone to stay by her side at all times.

  


Sometimes it was Severus. Sometimes it was Albus. Sometimes Madam Pomfrey.

When it was Albus he would talk to her gently. As if she were a fragile

glass full of some unidentified "liquid". If broken, the "liquid" would pour

out. And Albus didn't seem to know whether the "liquid" was dangerous or

not.

  


Severus was mostly quiet; sometimes he'd bring a book with him. The titles

were mostly rather dangerous sounding and she found herself being happy that

she didn't have to read those books. Sometimes he'd talk to her though. In a

soft voice. He seemed suspicious of her and she knew she had to regain his

trust. It was something she didn't look forward to.

  


Poppy just bustled about. She had a feeling the woman was awkward about her.

  


She had learned so far, from Albus that she had made quite an entrance. By

that he didn't mean the car (which he had kindly been returned to the rental

service) he meant that she and Damien were quite the couple. She had gotten

a bit choked up when he told her that. She still missed him. How on earth

she had managed six months without him was beyond her. Had she really feared

him that much? She remembered that horrid horseback ride; where all of her

most painful memories had rushed back to her mind. He hadn't been very nice

to her at times. Actually he'd been horrible to her. She found herself

wondering how on earth she had managed seven years with the guy. He was a

nightmare: just another horror to hunt her dreams. But her more than that!

She was contradicting herself. And now another headache was brewing. She had

better stop thinking about it.

  


Anyway, Albus said the reason for her and Damien's grand entrance was that

they had looked spectacular. When he had spoken the words she had nearly

giggled. But she had still been choked up from his telling her she and

Damien made a grand couple, so she had settled for coughing.

  


"You looked more beautiful than I had ever seen you look. It was because you

were smiling, I think so anyway..."

  


Those had been his exact words. She had been rather flattered, but as she

had been coughing she hadn't made any sort of polite remark.

  


Had she really never smiled? Of course she had... the old professor had just

been trying to compliment her and tell her at the same time she needed to

cheer up. But she didn't feel like cheering up. She felt like brooding in

the dungeons.

  


"Hello Jack" She muttered as she entered his chamber. She couldn't see him,

but she knew he was there. It was too cold for the chamber to not have a

ghost in there.

  


Jack came into view.

  


He looked at her patiently. He motioned for her to sit, and she did. She

almost expected a purplish black chair to pop out of nowhere. But she caught

herself in time. Letting herself sink to the floor, she apologized for not

having come to visit for a while.

  


"I know what happened. Don't be sorry." He whispered softly.

  


She had nothing to say to that. So she just sat there in quiet for a while.

Pondering the meaning of life and such. A sudden knock on the door

interrupted her thoughts. Jack disappeared suddenly. The door opened with a

creak and Severus stepped into the pale light of the small chamber.

  


"I thought I'd find you here." He muttered sombrely.

  


"Why were you looking?" She questioned without really wanting an answer.

  


"Albus wants to speak to you." He seemed impatient. When he glanced at his

wristwatch she decided she knew something was about to happen. She didn't

ask him, though. She felt sure he would just find a way to avoid responding

to her. But he wouldn't lie. That wasn't like him.

  


Once inside Albus's office a feeling of dread settled on her chest. What if

she was about to be fired? She hadn't exactly been doing the best job in the

world.

  


"I just want to inform you that another caretaker has been hired." Albus

said seriously. She knew it! She was being sacked. But she wasn't ready to

face the Muggle world yet. She felt desperate; if Damien hadn't already

departed with her heart with him she'd feel a very cold fist grab hold of

it. Her despair must have shown on her face because Albus quickly spoke

again.

  


"Don't worry, you can still stay here. He'll be here to do the more

difficult things, just until you recover fully."

  


She relaxed her tensed muscles. Did this job really mean that much to her?

She hadn't missed it while she was off with Damien. Odd.

  


"His name is Larnes, Bert Larnes." Albus smiled. "I just wanted to warn you

that he'd be arriving tomorrow." He added.

  


"Thank you." She muttered quietly. Now she was being treated like a weak

little girl. Again. Oh well, it would be nice to have someone around to do

all the hardest work for her. She felt a small smile creep to her lips.

  


"How old is he?" She couldn't help herself. The question just popped out.

  


"He'll be 49 in August I believe." Albus didn't seem to want to stop

smiling.

  


"All right." She answered. Perfect! He was young enough; he'd do all the

work for her. She suppressed an evil giggle.

  


"You won't go lazing about will you?" Albus suddenly asked, a hint of worry

in his eyes.

  


"Of course not!" She faked being offended and shocked very well. I mean you

would get pretty good at it after a hundred, 'Did you know Mary bought a

dress exactly like mine the other day? I mean, she probably did it just to

spite me!' She shook her head discretely at the memory of the shallowness of

some of the women in Damien's parties.

  


She and Albus chatted for a while. Well, he chatted. Chatted about how he

missed the students, how worried he was about Potter, how he couldn't wait

to see the new students... blah, blah, blah. But then they– he was

interrupted by the door to his office swinging open. Severus walked in and a

very frightened Draco Malfoy followed.

  


  


  


**Author Note: Sorry about the slight cliffy! Leave a review if you like. ^_^**


	15. chapter fifteen

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or places by JKR cause she owns them, and I don't think there is a lawyer agency in London named Bones & Stillman, but if there is, I don't own it. (I don't own Guiding Light either... I mentioned it in my author note, I think...)**

**Damien **

**by Sarah Black**

**Chapter Fifteen**

  


She had never seen Draco that frightened. She remembered talking to Peeves about the boy. Peeves of course wouldn't stay serious, so she had asked Winky. Winky didn't know much about any of the students. Then she had talked with Severus and he had been able to tell her a lot of things. Draco was in fact in Severus's house and the son of a friend of his. She had noticed at the time that when Severus had used the word 'friend' to describe Draco's father, the sneer on his face had been rather set. 

"Mr. Malfoy. Did you think about what we spoke of at the end of the school year?" Asked Albus, his eyes were drilling into the boy. She wondered what was going on. Why was Draco at school? Weren't all the students supposed to be home? She didn't dare ask. Perhaps they'd throw her out of the room, once they realized properly that she was there. 

"I did. And my answer is still the same." Draco sat down in a chair his Potions Master conjured, seemingly relieved. 

"Good." Albus looked horribly old. She couldn't believe that this was the same man who had previously been chatting easily about how much he missed his students. The change was unbelievable. 

"Are you hurt?" The question was concentrated. Weirdly concentrated, well because it was Albus talking… he seemed to be taking good care of what he was letting out of his mouth. She could almost smell the secrets in the room. She had the feeling it was because of her. But she wasn't leaving until she understood what was going on. 

"Of course I'm bloody hurt! He burnt that bloody mark on my bloody arm!" Draco replied viciously. He was confused. It was obvious. He didn't want to believe that he _didn't_ want something. How weird was that? 

"The initiation was relatively calm. I suspect it has something to do with his father. Lucius has gotten himself knee deep in this one. I don't understand how that man does it." Severus - for once, didn't seem to be thinking about what he was saying, or in front of whom. He was just thinking out loud. 

"Draco, did you have to… do anything?" questioned the headmaster delicately. The man had a knack for treating people as if they were about to break. 

"No, I am to: 'quietly wait for instructions'" 

"You really weren't made do something to prove yourself?" Albus asked suspiciously. 

"No." Draco answered confidently and with an air of indignation at the idea of someone questioning his credibility. He was obviously a very spoiled child. She remembered being just like him. Though she probably had less money. But then Damien came along and taught her a very valuable lesson. God, she missed him. 

"All right. I suppose we should discuss, which side of the chessboard you're going to play." Albus seemed satisfied with Draco's indignant answer. 

"They say white gets the first move." Draco smirked. 

"What they say is true. But black gets to think about their first move longer." Albus pointed out expertly. 

"That's true as well I suppose. Playing both sides does have its advantages, doesn't it?" Draco's demeanor had gone from frightened to self-assured in no time. How lucky was he? It had taken her months to go from terrified to frightened. 

She coughed. All three men looked her way and Albus looked surprised. 

"Christine! I say... I hardly noticed you were there. Severus, why don't you show her to her room?" Albus smiled all around and she heard herself sigh faintly. What an old coot! 

Severus began protesting to the idea of leading her to her room (which she could find easily enough on her own) but Albus gave him a pointed look. She didn't really understand what Albus was trying to tell Severus. But Severus got the idea- obviously since he walked out of the room, beckoning her to follow. 

She hurried to catch up with his long quiet strides and then fell into step with him. Neither said a word for a long time. Alas, her room was nearly as long a way from the Headmaster's office as possible. 

"You really loved him, didn't you?" Severus asked all of a sudden, just out of the blue. She knew at once what he was talking about of course, but she didn't know how to answer. Severus rarely asked her personal questions. And when he did it was always a direct consequence of an earlier comment by her. 

"You mean Damien?" She asked timidly. She needed to be sure, and she wanted him to say something else. To give her a hint of why he was asking. 

"Of course." He answered smoothly, not missing a beat. 

"I love him still." She whispered. Knowing he'd hear her no matter what, just because he wanted the answer. 

"Why?" It was an unexpected question, and he sounded almost angry. 

"I don't know." She shrugged and racked her brain for a good answer "I suppose I was just a little girl looking for the knight on the white horse, I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time and… um…" She really didn't know. It was just a feeling. When he was with her she felt whole- as cliché as it might sound, but it was the truth. 

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." His voice was cutting and mocking and it hurt. She honestly wasn't ready for him to question her on the subject. 

"Have you ever been in love?" She asked, suddenly inspired on how to fight back. 

"Perhaps, once." Severus's expression changed from the aggressor to the defender. 

"How did you know that love was what you were feeling?" She asked, measuring each word carefully. She had to play her cards right or everything would go to hell. 

"I was jealous, every time she talked to someone else, about someone else. It was an alien feeling, I just knew." While he said those words he looked at her intensely, he was concentrating on each word. Making sure it came out just the way he wanted it to. She felt like she was supposed to realize something. But she didn't. 

"I was never jealous, or protective of Damien. He was just there. I was lucky to have him, I always thought like that. Every time he hurt me or asked me to go to another party filled with his friends and his friend's friends. I just thought myself to be lucky." She spoke slowly, realizing her thoughts, almost certainly for the first time. She had never spoken about it out loud before, though. She doubted heavily that she had ever become conscious of it before. 

"He was just there." Severus repeated slowly. She understood how stupid that sounded. 

"That's not what I meant... he, had a presence. When he walked into the room I'd know without seeing him. He had this powerful - I don't know, aura?" She felt like this conversation was slipping out of control. Who was she kidding? It had slipped out of control a long while ago. And they had been standing in front of her room's door for a minute now without going in. 

"I know what you mean." He replied softly. 

She opened the door and nodded him inside. It was a mess in there but he probably wouldn't care. Of course she'd receive a biting comment, but she had learnt to ignore those. But of course they would hurt sometimes. She just tried to tell herself he didn't mean it. But he probably did... 

"Nice place you got here." He muttered with disdain. 

"Thank you." She answered sarcastically. 

"I still have to take care of the flat in London though. Most of my stuff and my clothes are still there." She sighed, pushed some socks off her sofa and sat down. 

"What are you gonna do with the flat?" He was obviously not very interested. 

"I suppose I'll sell it. It's worth quite a bit… I think. But I probably won't get what it's worth with my business skills, or rather lack of skills." She sighed again. Feeling an unstoppable headache coming on. She hated headaches, so of course she commonly had them... 

"You should get Lucius to help you." Severus smirked, much like Draco had smirked before. 

"I'm sorry, whom?" She masked her surprise badly. Was Severus actually attempting humor? Even his humor, that was remarkable. 

"Lucius would be able to sell a Shooting star for the worth of a Firebolt if he wanted to." Severus muttered darkly. She decided he hadn't been trying to be funny. 

"Well, I'd take his help if he offered to help me. But I don't really know him so…" Severus cut her off. 

"He wouldn't help you unless you paid him half of the money, he's such a blood sucking foul..." 

She sensed Severus would probably be able to continue badmouthing that Lucius character for the rest of the evening so she stopped him off by asking him a favor, he wasn't of course supposed to agree. The proposal was designed to throw him off track and get him to start arguing about something else. 

"Why don't you help me sell the place?" She asked, trying to sound casual about it. Which was difficult. But she managed not to be too obvious about it. At least she hoped she wasn't. What if she was? 

"Me?" Severus had affectively been startled into not thinking about Lucius. 

"Yeah, you." She confirmed. The look on his face was so typical, a cross between a grumpy scowl and an angry frown and a grudging satisfaction in being the one who got asked to help. 

"Why?" He asked, peering at her. He was probably looking for some sign of a prank. 

"Cause you're the only one I trust enough to help me do this, and I know you have to be good at this making deals stuff. I mean... you're good at _everything." _She knew she wasn't fooling him. She just hoped he wasn't one of those: 'Flattery gets you nowhere Miss. Luan.' kind of guy. But he probably was... 

"Flattery will get you nowhere Christine." He said sternly. But she thought she saw the corner of his mouth twitch. But she didn't really want him to do this that much. 

"I know, never mind. I'll just hire an agency." she answered. She even meant every word. It wasn't meant as reverse psychology at all. But it worked that way anyway. 

"Sure I'll help, but will I have to go to Muggle London?" He spoke as if going to Muggle London was the same as going into a jungle full of dangerous monkeys, which when you think about it, isn't entirely untrue. 

"Yes, you'll have to come with me to Muggle London." She seemed to have confirmed his worst fears, considering the look on his face. She smiled "It's not that bad. Muggles are all right." She added. He seemed to think it over and then he nodded grimly. 

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, we're going to sell a flat and pack some boxes, not on a dangerous quest for the Holy Grail." She joked lightly, forgetting about Damien for the moment being. That didn't last long. 

"What about everything Damien owned? What'll happen to that?" Severus asked suddenly. 

"Oh, I don't honestly know, I'll have to go see his lawyer. Perhaps he had a will." She really hadn't thought all that much about it. She had just gotten used to having money. 

"So, you'll see his lawyer too, then? What's the name of the agency he works for?" Severus was very businesslike. 

"I can't remember… wait, I think I have his card. He kept hitting on me last time he came over. Gave me his number." She muttered and searched the pockets of her Matrix-coat. And luckily the card was still there. 

"Bones & Stillman" She read. What a typical name. 

"Never heard of them." Severus admitted. 

"I think Damien got to know the lawyer through his friend Noah." She thought out loud, remembering something from a conversation at one of those stupid parties. "Sirius always reminds me of Noah." She added as an afterthought. 

"Sirius fancies you." Severus muttered and smiled cynically. She dropped her coat, which she had been in the process of hanging up. 

"What?!?" She nearly yelled. Sirius wasn't supposed to like her! That was just so wrong! How could he possibly like someone who had done nothing but insult him and complain about him any chance she got? Was the man actually off his rocker? 

"Yes, Black and I had a minor 'disagreement' leading to a rather long talk. When I came to the conclusion that he indeed fancied you, he protested loudly and decided to leave." Severus smiled slyly. 

"That's why he left?" She asked in disbelief. 

"That's correct." 

"I don't believe you!" 

"I can't stand the sight of him." 

"Well, he obviously stands the sight of you." 

"Obviously?" 

"Yes, woman! Are you completely blind? Black is as obvious as a blue duck in a heard of sheep!" 

"Nice metaphor." 

"Thank you" 

"Sure, whatever." 

"So, Wednesday?" 

"Three?" 

"Three's good" 

"Do you have any Muggle clothes?" 

"Of course not!" 

"Can you get some?" 

"Lets talk about it when the time comes." 

"Fine, whatever." 

"Good night." 

"I'll try, bye." 

"Bye." 

* 

Severus showed up punctually on Wednesday, wearing his normal black robes. She was nearly ready, but she couldn't find her cell phone anywhere. 

"Can you make your clothes look different? I mean; with some charm…" She asked while turning all her stuff over looking for her phone. She was racking her brain, trying to remember where she put it last time. 

"Of course, what should they look like?" He asked calmly. 

"I don't know." She stopped turning her room upside down in order to think of what would suit him. He'd be pretty much lost without the long coat... probably just some normal trousers. Maybe a belt? And a black –no– green turtle neck? 

"Long coat, black trousers and a belt. A green turtleneck and a jacket." After reciting those words she suddenly remembered where her phone was. In the staff room! She had been showing it to the Muggle Study teacher. 

Severus took out his wand, muttered something in Latin and waved his wand about. A small popping sound was heard and he was wearing exactly what she had described. She smiled at the disgusted look on his face, as he looked at himself in her muted mirror. (It was still holding that picture incident against her) 

"Don't look so harassed, you look great!" She smiled at him, grabbed her purse and held the door of her room open. 

"I have to stop in the Staff room to get my cell phone." She declared, drawing a pained look from Severus. 

"Someone might see me…" He whined as he followed her through the corridors. 

"Shut up, you'll shock them. You'll be able to tease them for the looks on their faces for months." She said distractedly, while digging through her purse, making sure she definitely had everything she needed. 

Severus grumbled some more but she pointedly ignored him. 

When they arrived she wished she had a camera, the looks on the other teacher's faces were priceless. 

"Have you seen my cell phone?" She asked, ignoring the shocked looks unsuccessfully. Giggling she followed the direction in which the Muggle Study Professor was pointing. 

"Thanks!" She looked over at Severus who was looking at the other Professors with a raised eyebrow. It was like he was daring them to say something. Someone fell for it. 

"Severus, are those Muggle clothes?" Minerva asked, her face a cross between horror and wonder. 

She took the liberty of answering for him. 

"Yes, doesn't he look wonderful?" She walked out hurriedly pulling Severus with her before he could say a thing. 

Once they were far enough from the Staff room, she collapsed into giggles. He looked at her like she was insane. 

"Why are you so different all of a sudden?" He asked suspiciously. 

"I don't know." She admitted. Why was she behaving like this? Aftershock? Was she just getting over herself? Over Damien? She closed her eyes for a moment and thought about it. No, she wasn't over it. Pushing it out of her mind and keeping busy and seeming perky was just another idiotic way of dealing with things. But it was working. For know. But she knew, sooner or later something would set her off and she'd have to deal with it the hard way. 

Suddenly the idea of going back to the flat seemed very bad. 

**Author note: Next chapter, they're in London. Will Damien's flat bring back unwanted memories? Will Jocelyn find her husband? Who was that mysterious elder? Who is the triplets' real mother? Find out in the next episode of Guiding Light! Or something... Anyway leave a review or be triangular.**


	16. chapter sixteen

**Disclaimer: **I said something in the author note in the previous chapter I would like to disclaim. "Review or be triangular" That belongs to someone not me. Her author name is Hildigunnur. Read her stories! They're great! Anyway. I don't own the characters the places (The Hogs Head is actually mentioned by Hagrid in the first book) or the law firm (Bones & Stillman) and I don't own the Tigerlily. I don't think it exists anyway...

Damien 

by Sarah Black

Chapter Sixteen 

All right. She had spoken with Albus and he had promised to talk to the Ministry. The portkey should be around there somewhere. 

"What does a portkey look like?" She asked Severus who had been walking quietly beside her ever since they left the castle.

"Portkeys never look the same. Where is it supposed to be?" His eyes unnerved her. They were such a dark, dark brown color. Sometimes they looked black. Well they nearly always looked black. But if you stared long enough you'd see. They really aren't black. Sort of like really dark chocolate...

"Behind the 'Hogs Head'." She answered hoarsely. She cleared her throat and repeated what she had said earlier a bit louder.

"That dirty pub? No one from Hogwarts ever goes there except _Hagrid_ I suppose." Severus muttered darkly.

"Do you have anything against Hagrid?" She questioned lightly.

"He's a lump." Severus answered through gritted teeth.

"You mean he's Harry Potter's friend." She shot back.

"That isn't the reason I don't care for him much." Severus said. She knew she should quit pushing but she was curious.

"Then what is it?" 

"It's none of your bloody business Christine. You don't understand all the parts of being a wizard. And you definitely don't understand what being a Slytherin wizard means." He hissed at her. 

"Just forget it." Severus was an enigma. At one time he's sincere and all of a sudden he's a bastard without a care in the world. He reminded her of Damien an awful lot. But she trusted him more. In a way she didn't trust Severus half as much as she had trusted Damien, but in another way she trusted him so much more. It was awfully confusing and she needed to avoid thinking about it.

Severus bent down and picked up a broken piggy bank. He grimaced and glanced at his watch. 

"It's nearly three o'clock. Grab hold of this." He held the piggy bank out so she could reach it. She touched it with her index finger and after a moment she felt as if someone had placed a large metal hook in her navel and had started pulling her. She promised herself she'd never go fishing. This had to be what the fish felt like. But before she could finish the thought she had crashed into the ground. 

"Ow." was her first intelligent comment. 

Severus who had remained standing held out his hand to help her up. She accepted it gratefully. After dusting off her coat and sneezing, she looked around. They were in a dark alley. Wait... this was the dark alley behind her local grocery store. Her flat, Damien's flat was near here. But they had to go to the lawyer first. She had memorized the address on the business card the day before and she knew they'd have to take the tube. And the nearest station should be around there somewhere...

"Come on." She whispered and started walking towards the Underground. Severus raised an eyebrow but followed without uttering a word of protest. She guessed he didn't have much experience with Muggle London. Oh, the possibilities. But that would have to wait.

She rummaged through her purse looking for her wallet. She had never used the Underground much so she didn't have a card or anything. 

After purchasing tickets for the both of them they sat down on a bench to wait for the right train to come by.

"So, what do you think?" She asked after an uncomfortable silence.

"I think I like broomsticks better." He declared as he watched a mother dragging a five-year-old son who was screaming for 'teddy' onto one of the platforms. 

She giggled slightly and shook her head. "You're impossible. All children act like that, magical or not." She told him seriously.

"I'm never having children then." He said and raised an eyebrow. At that moment their train came in with a loud scream.

"Saved by the bell." She muttered and followed him up to the loud train.

Soon they were walking towards a large building which had a sign on it that said: 'Bones & Stillman'.

She felt her stomach tie itself into a nervous knot.

A group of Goth teenagers walked by, one of them was carrying a boom box, which was booming some guy's voice.

Severus stared at them a bit wide eyed.

"Don't stare." She hissed.

"Why the hell did they look like that?" He hissed back.

"They're Goths. It's a style..." She muttered and pulled on his sleeve to get him walking again.

"Muggles are _mad_." He muttered and started walking again.

"Wait till you see a cheerleader." She giggled at the bewildered look on his face.

"A what?" He asked.

"Never mind." She smiled. But the smile was wiped clean off her face once they came to face the door of the law firm.

"I can't go in there." She despaired.

"If I can wear Muggle clothes you can walk into an innocent building." He stated firmly and pushed her inside the door.

"But, but, I _can't_." She protested.

"Oh, stop being such a wimp." Severus rolled his eyes.

"I am a wimp!" She protested again.

"Of course you are. Now how do we get to the..." He looked at a sign that said what was on which floor. "…To the tenth floor?" 

"The elevator." She said and glared at him.

"What? This was not my idea." He glared right back at her.

She grudgingly admitted that it had been her idea but she told him off anyway; for not trying to stop her. 

He just rolled his eyes.

She pressed the elevator button. He didn't ask questions but he was probably wondering about how all that worked. Or maybe he wasn't. She didn't know. That man had a hell of a poker face. She wondered if Severus had ever played poker.

She had a brief mental image of him in a club filled with cigar smoke, sitting at a table, filled with the most cliché looking gangster types, playing poker. She giggled. God! Why did she always have to giggle so much when she was nervous? It was very annoying.

The elevator doors opened and a woman in a red skirt suit walked in. The perfume she was wearing smelled rather nice but the woman used far too much of it! She resorted to holding her breath until the woman went out on the ninth floor.

The elevator started moving again. It stopped and the door opened on the tenth floor. Help. She couldn't do this. She couldn't face someone she had only seen once before in the company of Damien. She couldn't, she couldn't. She had to run. Had to get away. Severus seemed to know what she was thinking. 

"You're staying right here Christine." He ordered her. That was nice. She liked getting ordered around. (Not _too _much though.) It made everything so much easier. That way she didn't have to think much and when she wanted to run she had an excuse to stay. Weirdly comforting. 

She knocked on the office door.

"Just a moment please," someone called. It was a female voice; a rather old female voice. The door was opened and an old lady around fifty stood before them. She had glasses with pearls on the edges and obviously dyed hair. 

"May I help you?" She asked politely.

"Yes, I, um, need to, er..." She looked at Severus pleadingly. She seemed to have temporarily lost the ability of coherent speech.

"We would like to have a word with ether Bones or Stillman." Severus declared steadily. Not losing a beat.

"Of course Mr. -sorry, I didn't catch your name, dear." The lady said and smiled, revealing lipstick stained teeth.

"I didn't throw it." Severus replied icily.

"Oh, of course not" The lady giggled nervously and went to a desk which stood in near the door. She motioned for them to sit down in comfortable looking chairs. A press of a button later the lady was telling whoever was inside the office of the 'clients'.

"Mr. Stillman will be with you in a moment." She finally told them with another toothy smile.

Christine regained some of her speaking talents and told the lady thank you. Severus just glared. She supposed he didn't like being called 'dear'.

The door to the office opened and a young couple walked through, closely followed by a man in his forties. She immediately recognized him as Mr. Stillman, the man who had given her his card. 

The woman was using a tissue to dry away some tears and the man was looking like he was trying to suppress some very happy emotions.

Stillman waved at her and Severus, and they stood up and went into Stillman's office.

Once they had all made themselves comfortable and Stillman had offered them drinks they started.

"I'm awfully sorry you had to wait, that woman and her husband were here to settle an inheritance… the girl's mother just died." Stillman smiled widely, exposing straight, bleached teeth. He had platinum blond hair and a very tanned face. She almost felt that if the lights were to go out his hair and teeth would glow in the dark.

"Now, I heard about Mr. Dupre. It's a tragedy. He was a good man." Stillman shook his head sadly and then looked up smiling again.

"So, what would you two be doing here, May I ask?" He questioned and straightened his tie.

"I, um, I..." She was so confused by Stillman's hyper mood that she forgot the words she'd been practicing in her head all the time spent in the waiting room. 

"She wants to know if _Mr. Dupre _left a Will." Severus spoke in the same icy manner he had used when speaking to the secretary.

"Oh, of course. Lets see." Stillman turned to the computer on his desk and started typing at the speed of light. She noticed Severus blinking several times. The quickest way to confuse a wizard: Type fast.

"Yes... ah, here we are. Mr. Dupre. He's leaving everything to his... son." Stillman looked up from the screen to face the two.

"But he doesn't have a son." She said slowly.

"He doesn't? Oh dear, that's a tricky one." Stillman went back to the screen. His forehead wrinkled in concentration and then: "Aha! Here it is, 'Incase of unfortunate events all belongings will be left to one Christine Luan.' And that would be you, correct?" Stillman looked from his screen and smiled another blinding smile.

"I suppose." She whispered. Damien had planned on having a son. That meant her had really meant to marry her. Her stomach felt like lead and she felt tears prickling at her closed eyelids. And what had she done after he had died? Sure, she had had that period where she hadn't done anything but cry for hours but then she had just tried to forget all about him. To move on, be happy. How could she? She was just a horrible, wretched person! She felt awful. Just awful.

A choked sob escaped her.

"Oh, come now. These are good news! Here, I printed a list of all his belongings for you." Stillman said. 

Severus remained silent. He was probably digesting the son thing too.

She took the warm piece of paper and noticed the ink was still wet. She didn't see what the ink was spelling though. Everything was foggy. Why was she crying? She was crying because she was a wimp. A wimp! That's what she was. 

"Thank you." She finally managed although she was lying. She wasn't thankful. She wished she had never come to London. She wished she were in the deepest dungeon at Hogwarts, having a nice, quiet, wordless conversation with Jack. 

"Oh, you'll have to sign… this, this, this and this." Stillman said all of a sudden. 

"All right, what is it?" She asked.

"Well it's a acknowledgment, by signing these contracts you're acknowledging and agreeing to own these properties, previously owned by one Damien Dupre." Stillman stated. She didn't understand one word but Severus nodded at her and she signed her name at the bottom of some papers.

_Christine Luan_

* 

She was holding the key to the flat in her palm. She and Severus had taken the Tube back to Damien's flat and now she was standing in the corridor in front of the door, holding the key.

She stuck the key in and turned it. The door sprang open and she walked inside. Severus followed. She turned the light on and removed her coat. It was so easy to fall back on these habits: closing the door and hanging the coat up in the closet. 

Severus just stood there and stared out the window. It was a rather nice view. The river Thames could be seen running down its path. Just like it had for God knew how many years. 

She sat down on the black sofa and looked at the blank TV screen, the stereo and the speakers. If she looked behind her there would be an opening to the kitchen. The bathroom was connected to the bedroom. Beside the TV and all the stuff that came along with the TV there was a bookshelf. It was a very large bookshelf filled with books and photo albums. Most of the photo albums were Damien's but some of them were hers. 

"This is how Muggles live?" Severus asked nonchalantly. 

"Rich Muggles." She corrected.

"Ah." Severus replied.

"I suppose we should pack down my things." She sighed.

"You can't take anything electrical though. It won't work at Hogwarts. Too much magic in the air." Severus reminded her.

"How come you don't make electrical things run off magic?" She asked.

"It's forbidden by wizard's law. There's a department at the Ministry that takes care of that sort of stuff. The Department of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts or something like that." Severus answered, in his 'teacher' voice.

"Okay." She said and tried to smile. But she couldn't. It was weird. She had expected to break down in tears once inside this flat but instead she just felt- empty. It was a feeling she wasn't very unfamiliar with lately. But she didn't want to get used to it. She wanted the feeling to go away. She wanted to feel good again.

Severus pulled out his wand and conjured some cardboard boxes. She stood up and picked up a box. And went into the bathroom. She had to walk through the bedroom first, though. The bed was made. The window was closed. And the curtains were drawn. Not a thing was out of place. She closed her eyes and continued to the bathroom. She picked up her toiletries; make-up, perfumes, shampoo, soap, body lotion, skin care things... It all went into the box. When nothing was left in the bathroom except Damien's things she left. She got some things from her nightstand and then she walked pack into the living room where Severus was standing. He was standing near the bookshelf and he was holding a photo album. She recognized it as one of her old albums. 

He looked up at her and then down at the picture on the page again. 

"When was this?" He asked.

She walked up behind him and saw that the picture he was looking at was of her and her two best friends. She was fifteen in that picture. 

"I was fifteen, and those are my friends Natalie and Jessica. It's just some party photo. Nothing special." She said hurriedly and tried to pry the album from his fingers.

"But you're drinking" He said in a barely disguised scandalized tone.

"Yes, I started drinking when I was thirteen. It's nothing special really." She wrenched the album away from him and dropped it in a box.

"Thirteen?!?" He was opening and closing his mouth rapidly.

"Quit doing an impression of a goldfish, Severus! It's nothing special. Most girls start drinking that age. Most girls who have _any _fun that is." She could feel a sulk coming on.

"I've been a teacher for a while now and none of the third years drink to my knowledge!" He yelled.

"Of course you don't know! You're a teacher! Do you think I told my teachers I drank?" She yelled back.

"I'd know." He insisted stubbornly.

"No you wouldn't! They probably only drink in the summer anyway." She muttered grumpily.

"Why do you think so? Maybe it's just you. Maybe it's just you idiot Muggles!" He yelled. He kept yelling at her and she was getting a headache. Why was he yelling? He never yelled at her before...

"It doesn't matter, look, I'm fine! Even if I did start drinking early!" She couldn't yell anymore. She knew she was about to cry but she was trying to hold it back. She didn't want him to win.

"Oh, of course. You're _fine_! Lets see, you got yourself stuck with a man who beat you, for seven years! You got turned into a bloody Vampire. You're a murderer." He wasn't yelling anymore. His voice was cold. Impersonal.

She started crying. How could he say that to her? She just stared at him. She knew she probably looked like a wounded dog. But she didn't care. He was staring back at her. The anger in his eyes was unbelievable. But it was softening. And after a few minutes of silence:

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." His voice was quiet and steady. He approached her slowly and stopped when he was only inches away from her.

"I know you didn't mean it." She choked out. 

"I shouldn't have said that." He admitted. She looked into his eyes regretting it immediately because now she was lost. There was so much in those two simple eyes. Bits and pieces of anger, regret, sorrow, bitterness and something else she didn't really understand. All of a sudden er knees gave in and she crashed to the floor. 

She buried her face in her arms and cried. She cried for Damien, she cried for herself, she cried for Severus and Draco and everything. She didn't care how she must've looked. She didn't care that she was making horrid sounds. She didn't care that the carpet was getting wet. It didn't matter. She had to get it out. Or she'd explode. Or maybe she was exploding? What did exploding feel like? Bursting with emotion, that was what she was doing. After what seemed like hours she calmed down and the only sound she was making was a hiccough and some choked sobs and a few pathetic sniffles.

She could hear Severus walking around. He went into the kitchen and now the water was running. He walked back and she felt him slide down beside her. His cold, slightly wet fingers clasped her chin and pulled her face up. He handed her a glass of water; a very wet glass of water. She managed a very small, very weak smile and she drank. Her dry throat would have jumped with joy if it had legs. 

"Thank you." She coughed. 

"Don't thank me." He answered and glared at her. Why didn't he like the hero treatment? Didn't everyone like being the hero? She had a mental image of Severus in a red cape. No. Definitely not. Severus just wasn't the hero type and he seemed to know it. He was the villain. The whole tying people to railway tracks suited him much better than the whole red cape and mask thing.

"I'm sorry then, I didn't mean for this to be a weepy trip." She apologized.

"You can't change the past." He said, brushing the apology off.

"I want to make up for it. I know I still have to speak to Noah. I'm going to give him the new Mercedes, I'll just use the old one instead." She suddenly remembered her plans for the cars.

"Where would this Noah person be?" Asked Severus, obviously uninterested.

"At the Tigerlily, probably. That's where he hangs out on Wednesdays." She told him.

"And the Tigerlily is a...?" Severus questioned.

"A night club!"

**Note: **All right! I finished another chapter! I'm so proud of myself! Please leave a review if you liked it.


	17. chapter seventeen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters that you know and love from the Harry Potter books. I don't own the city of London. And I don't own a nightclub called the Tigerlily. I don't even know if that exists. I don't own the television show 'Friends' and if you find something that happens to be trademarked it's not mine, okay?

Damien 

_by Sarah Black_

**Chapter Seventeen**

"A nightclub." Severus echoed faintly. He stared at her for a few seconds before she realized he had probably never been to a nightclub.

"Have you ever been to a nightclub?" She questioned. How silly of her! Of course he had never been to a nightclub. He was a wizard, and as far as she knew there weren't many wizard nightclubs.

"I've gone once, I don't remember much of it though. It was a wizard one though." He spoke softly, not in any sort of tone exactly; just sort of empty. She gave him a moment to let this new information be processed properly. 

"You don't have to come along if you don't want to, I've just been sort of weepy and I think we had a fight… I just want to put it out of our minds. But of course, I won't force you to come with me." She smiled weakly and walked into the bathroom. Now she regretted putting all her stuff in a box. She had to dig around in it to find the things she needed to freshen herself up. There was no way they'd let her into the Tigerlily if she weren't wearing perfect clothes and make-up -both of which having to reek of money of course. She, of course, was a master at clubbing. She had enough experience anyway.

Wearing loose black pants and a white shirt wouldn't do at all! She rummaged through her closet looking for something usable. Most of the dresses brought back unpleasant memories. The very smell of them made her want to sit down and cry some more. She finally decided on a simple black dress. 

When she was all dressed and pruned she walked back into the living room where Severus was standing in front of the TV. It seemed he had discovered the buttons.

"I've seen something like this before." He declared and switched the channel once again.

"Oh, have you? How interesting." She said airily and started looking for her purse. 

"It's just like the portraits, except the people don't leave the frame, see, and, and, they're… acting." Severus turned his head this way and that watching an old Friends rerun. 

"I know, I'm the Muggle in here, you know." She giggled at something Rachel said to Ross and spotted her purse. 

"Lets go." She ordered and picked her coat up. 

Severus looked up, after turning the Television off and twisted his face into a sneer once he spotted her.

"You're going to wear that in public?" He asked mockingly.

"Yes, now lets go." She opened the door and slid her coat on. 

"But that's… -_underwear_" He told her, still sneering.

"Blah, blah, blah…" She said loudly and held her hands over her ears as she walked out.

"Christine, that's rather naïve, don't you think?" He muttered and walked out of the flat himself, closing the door behind him.

"Do you drive?" She asked once they reached the parking lot.

"I can manage." He answered looking quite sure of himself.

"Good, you're driving the old Mercedes, I'm taking the new one. And we'll be leaving the new one behind. All right?" She was just organizing her thoughts out loud. And of course, she needed to include him in her plans.

"Why do I drive the old one?" Severus grumbled and stuffed his hands in his coat pockets.

"Because Noah will kill anyone who scratches his cars. Even if the car doesn't belong to him at the time of the scratching. And I'm serious about the killing part. Rather me than you." She said grimly and fished two sets of keys out of her purse. She threw one key ring with one key dangling on it at him. He caught it and scowled at her. How immature! And he had the nerve to call her naïve?

Before they got into their respective cars she gave him instructions to follow her once they were on the road. And he did. Some time later they were handing their keys to valets.

Loud music could be heard and people were already starting to queue. A menacing looking, black bouncer stood in front of the door brandishing a list. She put on her 'club' smile, (a very large smile that said: I'm the queen of the world, what are you?) and walked right up to the bouncer.

"Excuse me." She said politely and smiled radiantly at the bouncer.

"What?" Grunted the man.

"I'm here to see Noah." She declared firmly.

"Name?" The man grunted again.

"Dupre." She stated calmly.

The bouncer's eyebrows went up and he hurriedly stepped out of her way.

"I beg your pardon Miss. Go right on inside." Lets just say he wasn't grunting anymore. No longer was he menacing, but meek as a little lamb.

"Come on, Severus." She called and waved her hand about.

"No need to shout." Severus muttered as he passed her by. She hurried to catch up with him and they walked into the club side by side. She stopped to give her coat away to a young looking girl in the standard club uniform. (Blue jacket with 'Tigerlily' written on the back and a nametag.) 

"Does the music have to be this loud?" Severus asked with a pained expression.

"We don't have to stay very long, unless Noah decides he has nothing better to do than try and get in my knickers." She answered, the smile never leaving her face.

Severus just raised both eyebrows and shook his head.

She scanned the main room for Noah. She automatically skipped over the dance floor as Noah hardly ever showed off his superior dancing skills. He didn't think it was appropriate for the owner of the club to be dancing around like a: 'bloody monkey on steroids' to use his exact words. She shuddered as she remembered where and when he had said that. Her eyes wondered over to the table section, he was nowhere to be found there; the bar was also empty of Noah's presence. She glanced at the stairs, which led up to another floor where there were sofas to sit and relax in. And there he was. She could see him because there were no walls to prevent people on the second floor from throwing themselves down to the dance floor. But of course, no one ever did that. Though there was this one time where this guy got very drunk and tried to commit suicide… but that's another story. 

She poked Severus in the shoulder to alert him that she was moving and headed for the stairs. She hated those stairs with a passion, ever since she had tripped on them and embarrassed herself. She had always maintained that the staircase didn't like her and she still did. Finally, she and Severus reached the sofa where Noah was sitting. Noah was oblivious to their presence; he seemed completely wrapped up in a conversation with his cell phone, or rather the person at the other end of the line.

"Of course you were supposed to dispose of him. Now we'll be up to our knees in shit. What's wrong with you? Are you retarded or something? I don't want excuses! I want results. -Now!" He pushed a button and pocketed the cell phone.

"Hey, Noah." She said, smile still in place. 

Noah looked up at her with no evident surprise.

"You here?" He simply asked and smirked.

"Me here." She confirmed.

"Where's Damien?" Noah questioned, just as his cell phone gave a shrill tone. Noah reached into his pocket and silenced the ringing of the thing with one push of a button.

"Damien's dead." She told him bluntly. She remembered how bluntly she had been told of the news. She sincerely hoped Noah wouldn't start crying as she had done…

"I guessed." He simply replied. Severus sat down and she followed his example.

"Who are you?" Noah directed his attention to Severus.

"Why do you want to know?" Severus asked and sneered.

Noah grinned. "You're a suspicious bastard, aren't you?" Severus glared at him. Noah shook his head. "Just curious. Just curious… " Noah glanced at her.

"His name is Severus." She told Noah, her smile wavering. But she held it in place, even if it was starting to get tiring.

"Severus…" Noah repeated, as if trying it out. But she knew he was storing it carefully away, incase knowing the name would ever be of use. She didn't know Noah very well; in fact, she had hardly ever spoken to him. But Damien spoke of him all the time. So she knew a lot about the man even if she didn't know him personally herself. She decided this would be a good time to announce why the hell she was there.

"I have something for you." She said in a teasing manner. Maybe if he got curious it would be more fun. She'd make him guess or something. 

"Really, that wouldn't be a Mercedes Benz, now would it?" He smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"Actually, yes. How'd you know?" She asked, feeling somewhat put off.

"One of my staff members called and alerted me of your presence. I asked if you were alone and as my soon to be promoted staff member is quite chatty he told me all about how you arrived with… Severus." Noah spoke lazily, not quite in a drawl, but more in a way that told you he'd much rather be doing something else than talking to you.

"Ah, well." She shrugged. "I suppose I'd better be off then. I've got boxes to pack, flats to sell…" She trailed off at the look Noah gave her. It told her that she wasn't going anywhere until he decided she was going.

"Or I might stay here and have a drink." She felt her smile waver again, and she resisted the urge to bite her nails. She usually didn't bite her nails. She'd managed to quit that at the same time she quit smoking. But when she got very nervous she sometimes had the urge to bite and gnaw until there was nothing left.

"Yes, why don't we go down to the bar?" Noah didn't ask as much as he ordered. He stood up and made for the stairs. People who happened to be there stood out of his way. She glanced at Severus and bit her lip. He got up at the same time she did and they followed Noah down the stairs and all the way to the bar.

"What's your poison?" The bartender asked cheerfully.

"Arsenic." Severus answered sneering yet again. She was trying to remember where she'd seen that bartender before. Then it came to her. He was Jessica's brother. 

"Hey Joey, how's Jessica?" She asked before Joey could reply to Severus.

"Jessica's… -Triss?" Joey was positively gaping at her. 

"What? Do I have something in my teeth?" She questioned mockingly and rolled her eyes. 

"Huh, no. I - um - haven't seen you for a while, where have you been?" Joey asked getting excited.

While that went on, Noah was becoming more and more annoyed.

"Green! Get back to work." Noah hissed all of a sudden interrupting their conversation.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry sir. What would you like to drink, Triss?" Joey asked in a friendly manner.

"Martini." She replied and smiled.

"And you two sirs?" Joey grinned and looked at Noah and Severus who had identical looks of disdain on their faces.

"Scotch." They both said at the same time. She giggled a little and watched as Joey went to get their drinks.

"How did the old bastard die?" Noah asked suddenly.

"Damien?" She asked timidly.

"Who else?" Noah answered impatiently.

"He, um, fell." Noah had caught her off guard. She hadn't expected anyone to ask her about that. And she was bad at lying. She couldn't look Noah in the eye. Of course she could hardly do that with anyone so that wasn't very important.

"Is that right?" He muttered thoughtfully. He was making her very nervous by glancing at her suspiciously. 

"Yes. It was awful; he fell down a very tall building. There was blood everywhere…" She put on the little-girl-who-lost-her-doll face. She began to blink rapidly and rub the edges of her eyes. Making small sob sounds. Noah remained unimpressed.

"Stop that, silly girl." He ordered icily. Damn, that guy wasn't very easily fooled. 

He closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them his lips curled into a very charming smile.

"Now, why don't you dance with me, and we can discuss things in private?" He stood up and held out his hand. He truly had a very charming smile… She took his hand, almost without thinking and allowed her to be led, like a dog on a leash, to the dance floor. 

She noticed Severus from the corner of her eye scowling at them and downing the contents of his glass in one go. 'What crawled up his ass and died?' She wondered idly as she began swaying in rhythm with the music. Noah lent close to her and started to whisper in her ear.

"What really happened to Damien?" He inquired in a low voice. His breath was warm on her ear and it tickled her. She smiled lightly. Then she whispered back.

"I told you, he fell of a tall tower." 

He smiled again, this time it was a sort of self-appraisal looking smile.

"Last time you said tall building…" He whispered, his breath tickled her ear, or maybe the movement in the ear was causing her hair to stir and that was what was tickling her? She had no idea. 

"Building, tower… what's the difference? Really…" She tried to sound as if she thought he was being silly. But she was beginning to feel very guilty. She knew perfectly well that Damien had been a monster and that he deserved to die. But she had still taken a life and she didn't have to deal with any consequences. She was a murderer; Just as Severus had said. She didn't know where she was all of a sudden. Of course, she knew where she was in reality; she was dancing with Noah. But in her mind she was lost. She didn't know where to turn. There were bad memories everywhere and there were no ways out. She was in a maze. 

"Triss, what happened to Damien?" Noah asked again in a whisper.

"He's dead. He's gone. He won't come back. Deal with it." She said harshly. She stopped dancing and dug through her purse for the ticket the valet had given her. 

"Here's your car. I hope you enjoy it." She handed him the ticket. He took it, never changing his expression. He remained perfectly blank. 

"Goodbye, Triss." He finally muttered and departed from the dance floor.

She headed for the exit. When she got outside she took a deep breath. She felt like crying again. But then again, she didn't want to cry anymore. She just wanted everything to be over and done with. Why couldn't her life just be normal? She had been a pretty good sport about everything up until now. Going to a school full of wizards and magic. Becoming a Vampire. What sort of life was this? Had she just gotten extremely high one day and never gotten out of the 'highness'? She wished it were all a dream. She wished it would all go away.

Severus walked out and came towards her, he was holding her coat.

"What happened? At first he was just whispering in your ear and you were smiling, then what happened?" Severus was thinking out loud, and she hardly heard what he was saying, for he was muttering.

"What happened?" He said now, in a louder voice.

"I got lost." She whispered sadly. Neither one of them said anything for a while. Not until a valet came over to them and asked them if they wanted to leave. She nodded and stuck her hand in her purse, retrieving the ticket for her… -Damien's car. 

The valet left.

She hugged her arms around her. It was a tad chilly. Severus held out her coat for her. She took it and put it on. She needed to keep things simple. She couldn't think. She couldn't afford to just get lost inside her own head. What she had experienced was enough to drive anyone mad. And she didn't want to go mad. She needed to live her life happily. Even if it was just to spite them. She didn't know exactly who 'them' were but they couldn't win. She didn't care if she were destined to die in a car crash or a freaky circus accident tomorrow. She was going to try to be as happy as possible for as along as possible. Wasn't that the least she deserved? She thought so. So what if she was being selfish? She deserved to be a little selfish.

The valet returned with the car. She got in the passenger side. She was a bit old fashioned that way. If she was traveling in the same car as a man she thought he should drive. But then she remembered, he'd been drinking. And she hadn't touched her martini. She had to drive. Severus seemed to have realized that as well as he hadn't entered the car yet.

She got out again and sat in the driver's seat. 

They were in the corridor of the flat when Severus brought something up that she had been dreading to talk about.

"Weren't we going to sell the flat today?" He asked sharply.

"Didn't I tell you?" She asked nervously. "We couldn't possibly do everything in one day so we're staying two or perhaps three days." She looked at him nervously awaiting his response.

"I'm actually surprised I didn't see that one coming." He said and rubbed one of his temples.

She just bit her lip and fumbled with the keys to the flat. She found the right one and opened the door.

She turned on the lights and hung up her coat, all the while expecting Severus to start yelling at her. She almost wanted him to do something. She wanted to know what he thought of this new turn of things. All she got was:

"I suppose I'm staying the night then."

**Note: **Okay! Another chapter has been written for your enjoyment! Tell me what you think of this!

I would like to thank Mephisto, my beta reader. If not for her, the lack of commas would kill you!

(Mephy speaking: It's not the lack that's the problem, but where she puts them. I'd like to thank Word 2000 for a nice spellchecker.)


	18. chapter eighteen

**Disclaimer: **I don't own London! And, I don't own Buffy or Angel the TV shows, I don't own 'The Man in the Iron Mask' either. I don't own the TV stations of Sky and I don't own Severus or Dumbledore or anyone else out of the HP universe. And though I do love Coke… I definitely don't own it. Please don't sue me!

  


Damien 

by Sarah Black

**Chapter eighteen**

  


She couldn't really believe that he wasn't angry. He should be angry. He had every right to be angry! Why wasn't he angry? 

"Why aren't you angry?" She asked finally, just before the speculations drove her mad.

"I'm too tired and too drunk to be angry right now." He declared, strangely calm. Wow, was he the opposite of Damien or what? When Damien had too much to drink, he normally found some little flaw in her behavior and started taunting her, usually ending it by getting too angry and slapping her across the face. But wait a moment… Severus had only had one drink! He shouldn't be very drunk.

"You hardly get drunk of one little glass of… scotch, was it?" She was sneering! Why was she sneering? She should definitely stop with the sneering.

"Actually, I had several of those things. While you were having fun with, Mr.… what is his name?" Severus was blinking a lot more than necessary. Probably trying to stay awake. Maybe it was too bright…? 

She went over to the light switches and dimmed the light a bit. "Why on earth would you want to consume so much alcohol?" She couldn't keep a slightly scandalized tone out of her voice, although she did try to keep being normal. No use upsetting him.

"Why? WHY?" He looked like he wanted to yell at her like he sometimes yelled at Longbottom (according to Jack anyway) but then he wrinkled his forehead, as if looking for a decent argument, but then he just sank back into the sofa. "I haven't the slightest idea." He decided out loud.

"Oh." She whispered and sat down on the sofa as well. Why on earth would he take up drinking several glasses of scotch just because she went off for a minute? She wasn't even away that long! She was just dancing with Noah. Why would that upset Severus? Or was Severus in fact actually upset? Maybe it was just the alcohol clouding up his brain? She didn't know. 

Standing up and looking around she said: "I'm going to pack the rest of my things into boxes. You should just sit there and relax. Since you're so tired, you know." 

She picked up the full boxes and started stacking them neatly near the door. When they were all ready to go, except the box containing her toiletries (she'd need them) she sat down again to rest. This time she sat in the armchair. Damien's armchair. It was soft and comfortable, but she didn't feel right, sitting in that chair. It was somehow wrong, to her at least. This was Damien's chair and he had been rather possessive of it. She couldn't recall a time where she had ever enjoyed sitting in it alone. Although she could remember a few times where she had enjoyed very much, sharing this very chair with Damien.

She kept wondering why Damien had changed so much, or if he in fact had changed at all. Before, all those long, dreadful, seven years, had he actually loved her? Or had he only started loving her after she became a Vampire? It was so strange, how she could just throw it around in her head. She had been a Vampire. And now she wasn't. 

"Weren't you going to pack your things?" Severus asked. She looked at him. He wasn't looking at her, he was resting his head on the sofa and his eyes were closed. He looked very peaceful.

"I'm just resting." She told him. And it wasn't far from the truth… actually, it was the truth. Hauling those heavy boxes around wasn't easy work. 

"What time is it?" Severus asked again.

"I don't know…" She glanced at her watch, "eleven thirty." She said after reading the numbers.

"It's late." Severus stated. She wondered what he was thinking. Probably where they'd sleep. There was a spare bedroom. But no bed, she and Damien didn't have visitors very often. Severus was sitting on a pull out sofa though. She could sleep in the bedroom and he could sleep there… or maybe vice versa.

"I suppose it is." She finally said after contemplating their sleeping options.

"Are you hungry?" He asked suddenly. She hadn't eaten since lunch! Yes, she was definitely hungry!

She settled with answering with a short: "yeah".

"Do you have anything edible?" Severus questioned. He hadn't moved their entire conversation. He was still just resting his head and had his eyes closed. But his comment brought her to another problem.

"Oh, my goodness! I suppose the food has spoiled!" She gasped and went into the kitchen. She heard Severus rise to follow her. 

"I don't think I dare to open the fridge." She admitted after some silence.

"Let me." Severus whispered softly, he stuck his hand on the inside of his coat (which he hadn't removed, he probably didn't realize you weren't supposed to wear coats inside) and got out his wand. Then he gently (as opposed to rudely) pushed her out of the way. She was a bit frightened that the Ministry of Magic would get wind of this, and then the Department of Muggle Misuse of Art - or something of that sort, would be after them. 

"Severus, what are you going to do? Nothing illegal, I hope." She asked, ignoring how worried she sounded.

"Don't fret. It's nothing illegal, I assure you." Severus answered, then raised his wand and muttered a few Latin sounding words. Then he put his wand away and opened the fridge.

If she had remembered exactly what had been in there, she'd say it hadn't changed a bit. But as she didn't recall exactly what sort of food had been stocked in there, she asked about this instead: "How…? _What _did you do?" 

Severus gave her a thin smile. "No 'thank-you'?" He then asked lazily.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I thank thee, thou brave and noble knight!" She said this very dramatically, throwing the back of her hand against her forehead and leaning backwards.

Severus remained unimpressed and had a look of disgust on his face.

"It was meant to be a joke. You know, ha, ha." She said and raised an eyebrow. She had somehow managed to get herself into a good mood and he was wrecking it! 

"I'm NOT a brave and noble knight!" He protested loudly. 

"It was a joke. J-O-K-E!" She felt her cheeks flush with anger, how did he manage to annoy her like that? Now her good mood was out the window! A sulk was definitely coming on.

Severus ignored her and started looking through the various items in the freezer. 

"What's this?" He held up some frozen pizza.

"Pizza, you put it in the oven for twenty minutes. It cooks, then you eat it." She explained, making herself sound like a mother talking to a particularly slow child- on purpose.

Severus just scowled at her. She took the box containing the frozen pizza away from him and started preparing it to go into the oven. She started getting into a better mood again, she won the argument! Yay for her!

Severus left without another word. 

She heard the sigh of the sofa as he sat down. Great, he was back to being quiet and nice. She smiled to herself, enjoying the feeling of taking care of someone again. She really missed Damien that way. He had always kept her busy. Whether he knew it or not, (Damien) he had gotten very good treatment from her. He didn't even deserve it. But she had brought him drinks; she had complimented every single photograph he showed her (except of course if the photo was of her, he had rarely showed her those though). 

Before she could help it she offered to bring Severus something to drink. It was a habit of hers. If there was something cooking she'd bring Damien something to drink… _but Severus isn't Damien. _

He accepted some water and she pored herself some Coke. Then she walked out of the kitchen and joined Severus on the sofa. 

"What's that?" He asked and pointed at her glass.

"Coke." She answered uninterestedly. She flipped the TV on and settled on Sky One. Angel was on. She didn't much like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but the Angel episodes were all right. As long as there weren't some skinny blondes saving the day she was happy. 

When Angel suddenly got all Vampire-ish she started thinking of her own experience in the matter. Damien hadn't changed a bit when he first bit her. And she couldn't remember herself changing at all either. She shook her head and muttered something about Hollywood.

"What?" Asked Severus.

"Hollywood, Vampires aren't at all like that, you know!" She told him and smiled a bit.

"Right." Severus nodded and smiled at her as if she were three.

"Stop that." She ordered and mock glared at him. Before Severus could respond the oven gave a familiar 'ping!' and she hurried into the kitchen and saved the pizza from it's above average temperature environment.

The smell of the freshly baked pizza enveloped her and started to explore the flat. She took the required china out of the cupboards and put pieces of the pizza on two plates. Then she carried the plates into the living room where the TV was showing a music video.

She put the plates down on the table and snatched the remote from Severus.

"I was watching Angel." She complained and found Sky One again. The Angel episode was over and the commercials had taken over the screen. She flipped through the channels and finally found Sky Movies where 'The Man in the Iron Mask' was being showed. Urgh, squinty Leo! Oh well, there were lots of other actors to look at…

She sat down and attacked her slice of pizza. Severus was just looking at his own slice. Of course, he probably didn't know what he was supposed to do with it… or maybe he just wasn't hungry. 

"Aren't you hungry?" She asked after swallowing and drinking some of the highly sweet liquid from her glass.

"Well, yes. But I don't make a habit of eating just _anything_ a Muggle puts in front of me." Severus muttered stubbornly.

"It's not poisoned." She told him impatiently. 

"Well what exactly is it?" He asked. 

"It's pizza! Bread, pepperoni, cheese and sauce. It won't kill you!" She told him and rolled her eyes. Wizards didn't know what they were missing out on! 

"Is it any good?" He asked suspiciously.

"Would I be eating it if it tasted bad?" She questioned him.

"I suppose not." He replied dryly. And was it just she, or did the temperature drop? She really wished she and Severus could stop being… whatever they were being this evening (night) it was rather annoying to have to stay on your toes all the time. Why couldn't they just be like they usually were? That's what she wanted, really. Just silently be in the same room. Was that too much to ask? Or maybe she didn't just want to silently be in the same room… she liked talking with him. But at them moment they were just getting on each other's nerves. It was probably because they'd be sharing a flat for the night. It was weird just thinking about that. She wondered if he thought it was weird too. She glanced at him; he still hadn't touched his slice of pizza.

"Will I have to feed you too?" She asked rather rudely. God! Why couldn't she stop acting so annoyed with him? She really wasn't all that annoyed.

"No, I'm not entirely sure of _how _you eat this." Severus admitted. Then he fixed her with an unblinking stare. It was like she was being dared to criticize him, but then she'd have to face unpleasant consequences for sure.

She had finished her own slice already, so she rose and went into the kitchen for another one. When she came back she demonstrated to him how she ate pizza.

"How primitive." was his first response. 

"I know, but it's really the only way to eat pizza! Of course you _can _use a knife and fork…" Before she could finish answering him, he was on his feet. When he came back he had a knife, and a fork securely held in his hand. 

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, be a grownup." She stuck her tongue out at him and finished her own slice. Then she fixed her attention the TV screen. The person who called her phone obviously wouldn't allow her to have one peaceful, uneventful evening on the couch, as the phone loudly told her a second later.

She leapt out of the sofa and to the phone. 

"Hello?" She said. Who could this be? Why would someone be calling at this hour? She glanced at her wristwatch and learned that it was rather late indeed. Nearly one, actually.

_"Is this Miss Luan?"_ A deep male voice questioned from the other end of the line.

"Yes, who is this?" She questioned back.

_"I heard that you were selling your flat… is that true?"_ Asked the voice once more.

"I am, who is this? Where did you hear that?" She asked, getting more irritated by the second.

_"This is a friend of Noah's, I'm Lance. I recently got married and my wife and… her name is Lauren… we need a new place. My one is too small for us both. And Lauren's going to make me a father soon so…"_ Lance chatted on for a while. But she didn't hear a word he said. She was stuck on the word 'father' she should have given Damien a son. She should have gotten married to him. Instead she had killed him. That was so twisted and so unfair! Why did these things happen to her? What had she done to deserve that? 

_"So, can we come over tomorrow?"_ Lance inquired. 

"Huh? Oh, sure. Whatever you want." She replied hurriedly. It would hopefully be easy to sell this place after all. It was a very good flat, as a matter of fact. A view of the river Thames was expensive, but very wanted. She wouldn't miss it much though. The view of the lake and the Forbidden Forest were just as good. 

"Thank you so much, I just want to let you know how much I appreciate this. Lauren too. Thanks, bye!" Lance hung up and all she could hear was the familiar hum of the phone. 

"What was that?" Asked Severus, there was less than no curiosity in his voice and he didn't take his eyes of the TV screen. She raised an eyebrow at his behavior and sat down beside him again.

"It was Lance, he wants to buy the flat. He has a wife called Lauren and she's going to have a baby soon." For some reason she felt like crying. Why couldn't her life be like that? Simple and nice and completely normal. Why had all that freaky stuff happened to her? Did she have this freaky magnet for weird stuff? She sighed and pulled her knees up to rest under her chin. 

"What's wrong?" Severus asked, tearing his eyes away from the screen.

"I'm not having a baby." She said before she could stop herself. How stupid had that sounded? Very stupid! That was a weird, wrong, dumb, STUPID thing to say.

"Me either." He said, and looked at her for further explanation. 

"I'm not married, and I don't have a fiancée and, and, I'm not pregnant… I think I'm depressed and I'm complaining about my problems to a person who couldn't care less." She mumbled the rest of the sentence into her knees.

"Christine, you're twenty four years old. You'll have plenty of time for those things later in your life. Don't fret, it's irritating." Severus spoke calmly and to the point. It pulled her out of suicidal thoughts, but she wanted to be comforted, not told the facts. She wanted him, someone, to tell her everything would be okay. She had this crazy urge to call her mother or cry her eyes out over a picture of a cute puppy. She had to be starting her period or something… she was having a major hormone attack.

"I don't care. I should have a five-year-old running around here. Damien should be alive. I should be married him. Why didn't everything just work out simple?" She knew she was whining, but she didn't care. If that's what it took to get him to say everything would be okay, then whining was what she would do. But Severus seemed far from comforting her. If anything, he looked annoyed.

"Christine, I consider you to be a friend of mine. I care about you, but if there's anything I can't stand when I'm very tired; it's a silly girl whining about unimportant things. So could you please close your mouth and be quiet?" His tone was even and he looked her steadily in the eye. She was quiet for a while. Why wouldn't he be nice to her? She knew he cared about her, he said so. And at the club, he had been… jealous. Of course! Now it all fit together… he had been jealous of Noah, because she had been dancing with Noah, and afterwards he had muttered something about her being smiling and Noah having been whispering in her ear… it must have looked sort of different to Severus, sitting at the bar. But if he cared for her so much, why wouldn't he comfort her?

"Why won't you comfort me?" She finally burst out.

Severus's hands went up to rub his temples.

"Christine, would you _please_, be, quiet!" He hissed at her. But then, she didn't know exactly why; she kissed him. She took him be surprise, but when he had gathered his wits he pushed her away. He grabbed her shoulders, painfully. He stared into her eyes.

"Christine. Would you like to explain to me, exactly _why_ you did that?" He ordered more than he asked. He was starting to scare her. His eyes had gone completely black and completely blank. She felt as if they were boring into her, forcing her to tell him everything. His fingers were digging into her shoulders. She felt herself start to shiver. And she realized she probably had the 'deer in the headlights' look on her face. She couldn't speak; her mouth went dry. Images started spinning in her mind. It was mostly Damien's eyes. Boring into her, just as Severus's were now. She finally found her voice.

"Please…" Her voice was very small, very weak. Severus seemed to realize what he was doing and he let go of her and looked away. She just kept shivering, even if it was perfectly warm in the room. Severus was staring into space. She became aware of her heart beating a million miles an hour. She felt cold, yet sweaty, tainted, and yet clean. It was a very confusing feeling.

"Christine, you can't just… kiss me like that. You don't know what you're doing." Severus suddenly said quietly.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. Her voice was very weak. And she felt suddenly very small. 

"I forgive you. Don't do that again, without my permission at least." He answered her; he still spoke in the same deadly calm, very quiet voice. 

"I won't, I promise." She whispered back. 

All of a sudden Severus tensed up. His right hand clasped his left forearm. He stood up quickly.

"Christine, remember when I told you about You Know Who and all that came with it?" He asked hurriedly.

"Yes, he's the bad guy right?" She answered, starting to feel somewhat 'normal' again.

"Yes. Well, do you recall me telling you that I work as a spy?" He asked again, his tone was very urgent.

"Not really…" She answered truthfully. 

"Well, I do work as a spy for the light side. And I have to leave. I'll come back here sometime tomorrow most likely, after I've spoken with Albus. Is that all right?" Severus asked again and he started pulling out his wand.

"That's okay. I'll see you when I see you then." She said, but he had already disappeared.

**Author note: Phew, another chapter finished! And I wrote this when I was really supposed to be studying for a math test... oh well. You had better like this chapter! Thanks go to Mephisto my wonderful beta! (Go read her stories) I would also like to thank my wonderful reviewers! Especially eriu! Thank you!!!**


	19. chapter nineteen

**Disclaimer: I don't own London, I don't own Harry Potter characters, I don't own restaurants in London, please don't sue me!******

Damien 

by Sarah Black

Chapter nineteen 

She sighed. She didn't know why, but she'd been looking forward to spending a night in this flat along with someone who wasn't Damien. Maybe she was being superstitious and stupid, but she wanted to leave this place behind with a good wholesome memory. Not that there weren't any good memories with Damien, there were, but they just didn't make her feel any good remembering them. It was more like recalling every detail of the biggest mistake she ever made. Which, –in a way– it was.

She turned off the TV and put the dirty plates into the kitchen, she decided she was too tired to tidy them up right now. Then she went into the bedroom and got herself ready for bed. Then she stopped. Could she really spend a night here in this flat? Alone on Damien's bed. She shuddered involuntarily. She had to be able to do this. She had to do this. If she couldn't, she'd never get rid of Damien, and she'd probably never get rid of Damien anyway... so what was the point? Right? She looked around, as if looking for someone who might see her. Then she went back to the sofa and pulled out, changing it into a bed. After a bit of fuss she was settled in. 

"Coward." She told herself before drifting off to sleep.

*

She woke up to the sun shining on her face. How irritating! She had forgotten to draw the curtains last night. She tried to turn around and go back to sleep, but it was too warm and too bright. So she gave up and got out of 'bed'.

She spent most of her morning getting the rest of the things she owned and the things she wanted to take with her to Hogwarts together. It was slow work, and the sunlight combined with all the thinking and the stress (Lance and his wife were coming over soon) was giving her a headache. She really didn't need a headache, but as she didn't have any Aspirin, (when she was a Vampire she didn't get headaches) there was nothing she could really do about it.

Of course, she was also trying not to worry too much about Severus; she was convinced he'd only get angrier with her if she worried too much. But she couldn't help worrying about it. She didn't really understand the whole thing with 'You Know Who'. She knew that guy was evil and all that, but she didn't really understand what Severus had to do with it. Of course she'd listened when Severus had explained everything to her, but it was difficult to remember after everything that had happened to her. 

She sighed and glanced at her watch. When did Lance say he was coming? She wished she'd listened more carefully last night when he called. Why didn't she listen more carefully, period? And talking about period... "ergh," she went to the bathroom.

*

She was done packing her things and she had already called the moving people to come and put Damien's things in storage. She didn't want to decide right away what to do with it all. She couldn't bring herself to sell it. It would be too difficult. 

"Coward." She muttered at herself again. She didn't really want to be a brave hero person. It seemed all those guys did was get caught up in saving the day and die. But it was all right to have a smidgen of courage, to at least be able to do the simplest things without having to force oneself. She'd miss watching TV though... she hadn't really noticed it the first few months at Hogwarts; she'd been wallowing in self-pity and all that. Actually, she was still doing that a little bit, but not as much. She hoped. Anyway... curling up on the sofa and watching Squinty Leo had reminded her of how nice it was to just go brain dead. It was so easy. She noticed it was nearly five o'clock. Where were those people? She was interrupted by a small 'pop' sound. She smiled, knowing exactly what that sound meant. She turned her head, "Severus!" She squealed. 

"You're all right!" She gasped thankfully. She wasn't stupid enough not to know that he was in a lot of danger if her was pretending to be a bad guy and was actually a good guy. She blinked a few times to clear her head a bit.

"What happened? Is everything okay?" She asked, Severus hadn't said a word. He just stood there looking somber. 

"No, everything is not okay. Draco Malfoy has a mission; he has a chance to prove his loyalty. And I'm honestly not so sure where his loyalties lie. He is just a bloody good actor. Albus is sure he's good though. I'd better just trust him, but I'm keeping an eye on that boy." Severus had sat down, she was sort of sitting, more like leaning, on the arm of the sofa and she was trying to hold back an urge to rub his neck. Damien had always used to like that... no. _Severus is NOT Damien. She reminded herself once again. _

"Lance and Lauren should be arriving soon." She informed him and started biting at her nails to keep her hands from rubbing his, obviously, sore neck. What was wrong with her? She knew he would freak out if she did it, but somehow she found herself not really caring. Maybe he'd like it... no, he definitely wouldn't. Okay, now would be a great time for some distraction to come along.

The doorbell rang.

"Saved by the bell." She muttered so Severus couldn't hear and then went to answer the door. She was greeted with the sight of the people who had been at Bones & Stillman's. It was the girl's mother who had just died... and her husband, a tall man with a goatee and sunglasses. He was wearing a comfortable looking T-shirt she wanted as her own right away. She had a thing for large T-shirts. They were just very comfortable to sleep in. The man, who was probably Lance, reached out his large hand and clasped her smaller one.  

"Hey! You must be Christine. I'm Lance. And this is my wife, Lauren." Lance greeted cheerfully, shaking her hand around a bit too enthusiastically. 

A woman with bleach blond hair and a bright smile greeted her. She was quite obviously pregnant. 

"Like he said, I'm his wife, my name is Lauren." Lauren giggled nervously.

"Hi, make yourselves at home. I mean that. I'm really hoping to sell this place as soon as possible." She used her club smile, as she didn't really have a business smile. Damien had taken care of most of the business. She felt like such a 'wife' from the fifties...

"Well, then I hope you'll forgive me calling that late. I just really, really, want to buy this place." Lance confessed apologetically, looking a bit embarrassed.

"That's all right. I was awake anyway." She answered dismissing his apology into the air.

"Who's that? Do you mind me asking?" Lauren said as she looked over at Severus who had been watching the exchange with a bored sort of interested look. 

"Professor Severus Snape. I'm a friend." Severus interjected smoothly. 

"Really? Professor, eh? What is your 'profession?" Lance chuckled at his attempt at humour. Lauren gave the same sort of nervous giggle as before. Severus just raised an eyebrow before answering the question snappishly.

"I work in chemistry. –Physics, if you will."

"Right." Lance looked a bit embarrassed. Those people were really uptight.

"Well, this is the flat. Do you want a tour?" She asked to get rid of the uncomfortable silence.

"A tour is a good idea. Don't you think so sweetie?" Lance replied swiftly, the last part of that sentence directed at his wife, of course.

"Sure, why not?" Lauren smiled and placed a hand on her round belly. So she took the two people into the kitchen where Lauren gave a happy sigh when she saw the oven, then into the bedroom where Lance praised the view. She gave even more praise to the view in the living room, and Lauren informed her that the bathroom was adorable. She also got to know that the guest room was going to be used as a room for the child, which was on its way.

"Oh, Lance, I adore this place! We're getting it, aren't we?" Lauren squealed excitedly.

"I have nothing to complain about, when can we move in?" Lance answered cheerfully.

She just looked at Severus pleadingly. Here was the part she'd brought him a long for. She shouldn't be able to sell a flat at twenty-four, should she? Severus seemed to know what was going on. He walked over to Damien's desk and looked through some drawers. Then he rummaged through some neatly stacked paper.

"Mr…?" Severus looked at Lance expectantly.

"Oh, it's Lanat, –where are my manners?" Lance replied and smacked his forehead.

"Mr. Lanat, if you would accompany me in here we can discuss the price of the place." She found herself being very happy that Severus wasn't speaking to her. Lance seemed a bit intimidated. Who wouldn't be if someone spoke to you in that manner? 

Lance and Severus went into the bedroom, leaving her and Lauren behind. 

"So, is he your boyfriend?" Lauren asked suddenly, breaking yet another uncomfortable silence. 

"No, not really." She answered, becoming very aware of herself.

"Well, then you won't mind me saying that he's _very scary." Lauren seemed somewhat relieved. _

"He is a very good friend of mine." She found herself saying frostily. 

"Sorry." Lauren apologised and giggled nervously yet again. She sat down and started biting on her nails, she knew perfectly well it was a horrid habit, but she'd been able to quit before, she could do it again if she really wanted to. Besides, she was nervous. She'd rather bite on her nails than start to giggle nervously like an idiot.

The two men had been in that room for a quarter of an hour. What was keeping them? She gave up on her nails and went into the kitchen to make some coffee. She didn't really like coffee, but she needed something strong and getting drunk was bound to be a bad impression on the young couple. 

She had only just finished brewing the coffee when Severus and Lance stepped out of the bedroom. Lance looked hyper excited and Severus looked serious, as usual.

"Lauren! I bought it! I'm so glad your mother died! I mean, of course I'm not glad your mother died, I'm just happy we can finally afford a decent place. Aren't you glad?" Lance was hugging the living daylights out of Lauren, who had gone from excited, to angry, to tearful, to angry, to happy.

"I'm very happy we can afford this place, I just wish mum was still alive to be happy with us. She didn't even get to see her first grandchild." Lauren seemed a bit downcast. 

"Lauren, we've gone through this. Lets discuss this when we get home, all right?" Lance suggested. Lauren smiled and nodded.

"Coffee, anyone?" She offered, when another uncomfortable silences had ensued. 

"I'll take coffee!" Lance said at once. Lauren just shook her head and stroked her large belly.

"No thank you, Christine." Severus replied quietly.

She nodded and got some cups and thing ready. Then they all sat down on the sofa and made small talk. After a while Lauren glanced at her watch.

"Oh my, Lance, we have to go. I was going to make Lasagne!" Lauren gasped out.

"You're right dear. It's been a very nice afternoon. I'm so pleased you're giving us this opportunity..." Lance went on for a while but she didn't really answer. All she kept thinking was: 'Okay, can you go now?' Not very polite, but that's why she didn't say it out loud.

Finally the couple had left, and she found herself being very hungry. She decided she didn't want another frozen pizza. And she didn't want to order one either.

"Why don't I take you out for dinner? –As a thank you. Please?" She said all this very hurriedly, fully expecting him to tell her off. 

"Why not? Know any good restaurants?" Severus asked and sighed. He was rubbing his own shoulder and had his eyes were closed.

"You must be really tired." She stated. "I mean, you didn't argue or anything!" She continued.

"Do you want me change my mind?" Severus asked in a threatening voice. 

"No!" She said right away without thinking. Severus opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"Coward." He told her. 

"I know, I know." She muttered. Then she went into the bedroom to get ready. A shower, s rummage through boxes, a dress and some makeup later she was ready. It was half past seven. 

"Severus, don't you want a shower?" She asked as she looked for her purse. She always managed to lose that thing.

"I had one up at the castle." Severus answered. He hadn't moved from the sofa. She made a mental note to drill him about what happened with that 'You Know Who' person. Severus was very tired, and that was a man who taught a lot of classes, to a lot of teenagers, for a living. Her thoughts must have showed quite obviously on her face because...

"I'm not dying." Severus muttered as he stood up. He walked over to her and took her hand.

"Here's your purse." She felt her hand close around the strap of her purse.

"Thanks." She whispered.

"Let's go." He ordered and opened the door to the corridor. She followed him obediently.

Severus drove them to a restaurant she directed him to. She knew the manager and was always able to get a good table, so she wasn't worried.

Once the very annoying waiter was off with their orders, she decided it was time she got some information out of Severus.

"I want to know what happened. Please?" She pleaded, using her best 'pleading' look.

"Christine, we can't talk about things such as those with all these Muggles around." Severus told her patiently. She groaned inwardly. She hadn't thought of that. Now what were they supposed to talk about. Like going out to dinner with someone not Damien wasn't weird enough...

"I want to ask you something." Severus declared. She looked at him questioningly in return. He drank some of the water already on the table.

"How come, everywhere you go, everyone seems to recognise you?" He asked and stared at her intently. She thought about it. This one would be difficult to explain. She needed a metaphor, a metaphor he'd understand no less.

"You know how everyone at the school knows Harry Potter, right?" She said, deciding on her answer. Severus grimaced and nodded. She took a sip of her own water before continuing cautiously. 

"Well, what sort of broomstick does he have?" She asked, careful of how she chose her words.

"Firebolt, everyone knows that, but what has that got to do with you?" Severus snapped in an irritated manner.

"Well, instead of Harry, put Damien, and instead of Harry's broomstick, put me." She said the words slowly, and carefully. It was a difficult metaphor, and probably not a very good one, but it was the best she could come up with at the moment.

Severus wasn't saying anything. He looked pensive. 

"So, you mean to say, that no one really knows _you, they just know that Damien owned you. Correct?" He finally spoke in a low voice, almost as if he were afraid someone might hear him._

"Correct." She nodded. 

"And you were all right with that?" Severus asked, a tiny hint of disbelief in his tone.

"I didn't actually have a choice at the time. But it has its perks." She told him airily, trying not to sound so much like a damsel in distress. What was a damsel anyway?

"Perks?" Severus inquired. She didn't say anything but gestured around herself. She was wearing an expensive dress, they had the best seats of the restaurant, they had top service, and all because of her dead boyfriend. Of course, Damien was so much more than just her dead boyfriend...

The rest of the dinner went by rather quickly and they didn't speak much. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Severus of course made a few biting comments towards the food. "Not nearly as superb as the house elves' cooking," and things like those. But he ate the food, so that was something... or maybe he was just really hungry.

Neither of them had any wine with their dinner. She just didn't really feel like drinking wine. She'd never really liked wine, to be honest. She liked other kinds of liquor better. But his reasons were beyond her. Maybe he just didn't want to get drunk again. She wasn't quite sure. But he drove them to the flat again and there she sat down on the sofa and wished she was wearing her night things, she was too tired to move. Cleaning and packing all day. It was something she should be used to, (except for the packing part perhaps), but when it was in this particular place, it was even more draining than ever. She could hear Severus sit down beside her, and she had the most overwhelming urge to rest her head on his shoulder. She decided, 'what the hell', and allowed her head to press against his shoulder. He didn't do anything, _at first. But then he was pushing her off. She felt irritation take over her mind._

"Why not?" She asked tartly.

"Because you don't know what you're doing. That's why not." Severus answered sternly. She didn't want to get into a fight with him; it wasn't like she ever got to win if he really wanted to win. Sometimes he would let her win though... But she replied anyway.

"Of course I know what I'm doing. I'm just resting!" Her voice was rising, and she didn't know why. Actually she did know why, but she wouldn't admit that he was able to get her angry that easily.

"Maybe that's what it is to you, at this time. What if I had just let you, what would you have thought?" He was completely calm, and that, more than anything, annoyed her. How come he was able to press her buttons that easily and remain absolutely unchanged whatever she did? Was that man even able to feel emotion?

"I would have thought you were being nice, for one in your life!" She nearly yelling now.

"Christine, you don't get it, do you?" He said quietly, refusing to meet her gaze.

"What don't I get? I don't understand you." She had never felt as confused. He had told her he cared about her, but didn't allow her to show him any kind of affection. What was his problem?

"I mean something to you, and you mean something to me, but we mean completely different things to each other." Severus seemed a bit troubled, if all his thoughts were that complicated, then she understood why he never told anyone what he thought.

"I don't understand, Severus." She told him truthfully.

"What do I mean to you, Christine?" He asked her, his eyes drilling into her mind. She felt frozen. Her mouth went dry and she couldn't speak. What did he mean to her indeed? She hadn't really thought very much about it. She cared about him, but was there anything else? She just didn't understand her own thoughts any more. Everything was just so complicated. One moment they were having dinner, and the next they were having this highly serious conversation. It didn't make any sense! This was happening too fast.

"I don't know." She whispered. She wished she knew, but she didn't.

"I know you don't know. That's why you can't rest your head on my shoulder, no matter how innocent it seems; you don't know what exactly it means to me. We aren't speaking the same language. And until we are, you shouldn't do such things." He spoke as a man who knew he was right. And it made her believe he was right. It didn't _just make her believe it; it made her know he was right. Because he was. Of course. He was always right._

"I think I want to sleep now." She told him quietly.

"You don't really need me to stay anymore, do you?" He wasn't actually asking. She wanted to say she did, but she knew she really didn't. He had helped her with what she had needed help with. But wait, she hadn't been able to find more out about that whole 'You Know Who' thing. Oh well, too late now.

"I suppose not." She answered grudgingly.

"I'm going to go back to the school, then. Albus told me to give this to you, remember? It leaves at ten o'clock. Don't be late." He left a piece of paper in her palm, and then he was gone. She looked at her hand.

It was a train ticket. For the Hogwarts Express. She sighed and went to get ready for 'bed'.

**Author note: Boring chapter, I know, it'll get more interesting very soon. I promise! Please leave a review if you liked it.**


	20. chapter twenty

**Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own anything out of the Harry Potter universe, I don't own London or any cafés that might be there, I don't own Kings Cross either. If I mentioned something else in there, which I don't own, then it's not mine!******

Damien 

_by Sarah Black_

Chapter twenty 

After calling a taxi and riding in to Kings Cross, she paid the driver and got herself a trolley. She had a heavy trunk with her and her arms were absolutely killing her. She wished that Severus was there... again. Girls shouldn't be expected to haul around heavy trunks with no assistance! And she didn't care how anti-feminist that was. The truth remained that the trunk was very heavy, and she had neither the strength nor the will to carry it around.

Now how did this platform thing work again? She was supposed to walk through a wall or something. She decided she wouldn't do that just yet, maybe she'd sit down on that bench over there and rest a bit. Yes, she liked that idea very much. Anyway, it wasn't ten yet. It was odd, leaving everything behind again. Except now she was a bit more aware of what she was doing.

She wasn't in a hurry to get away before Damien changed his mind. Damien was gone now. He was out of her life and so was everything that came with him. The flat, the clubs, his friends, her friends... when she really thought about it, she stopped having her own friends when she was sixteen, when she first started seeing him. But Damien was gone now. Gone. Dead. 

A shadow fell over the place where she was sitting. Her stomach did a funny flip-flop. And she looked around, slowly, she felt herself start to shiver slightly. 

"You." She then said weakly as the man standing behind her came into her line of vision.

"Hello Triss." He replied coolly. It was as if a cold hand had gripped her heart. She couldn't remember him ever using that tone of voice with her. She'd heard him speak that way to some people on his phone, but never to her...

"You're not busy are you, cause I was thinking we'd go for a ride in my brand new car and maybe have something to eat, I'd introduce to my hit man, he's a really great guy, just got married and bought a place from this girl... ringing any bells, Triss?" He had put his hand on her shoulder and forced her to stand. She knew she had no other choice but follow him. She didn't quite know what he was talking about, but she was starting to suspect Lance wasn't exactly who she though he was. She was pushed into the shiny new car, which she was all too familiar with.

"Where do you want to go, Triss?" He asked her, a charming smile on his lips, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

She didn't answer, her abilities of speech were rather limited at the time.

"Hmmm, I thought so." He flashed her a grin and started the engine. She stared straight ahead the whole time, never taking her eyes off the grey passenger seat in front of her. They finally pulled to a halt at a small café. She wished Severus were there; this definitely wouldn't have happened if Severus were there. She allowed him to lead her to a table where 'Lance' was already sitting and smoking a cigarette calmly. 

"Sit down, Triss." 'Lance said through a haze of cigarette smoke. She did as she was told, figuring she wouldn't be able to fight off two grown men, even if she did know how to kick. She knew where to kick too as a matter of fact, but frankly; she was too petrified to do anything at all. She probably couldn't speak for god's sake. 

"You know I'd introduce you two, but I have this feeling that you've already met." 

She would have glared if it weren't for the fact that she was dying of fright. Lance rolled his eyes at his boss.

"She doesn't know my real name, she thinks I'm Lance Lanat for Pete's sake." The man previously known as Lance muttered and then coughed. He put the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray.

"Ryan, actually. I'm a hit man for him over there. Pleasure to meet you again Christine." He smiled devilishly at her. She shuddered involuntarily. These two were giving her the creeps. What about this 'Ryan's' wife? What about that whole deal? Had that just been another pack of lies? Maybe Ryan could see what she was thinking from the expression on her face, maybe he could read minds, but whatever it was he could, it led to the same results.

"Lauren actually is my wife, but she thinks I'm an accountant, and I am. -Mostly anyway. I was actually the one who did in her mum. Bloody annoying old coot she was." Ryan spoke of murdering his own mother in law in such a way, that she went to an entirely new level of fear. Well, it was a level she hadn't been to in a while anyway. After a minute of tense silence Noah broke it by ordering them all some coffee.

"No alcohol before lunch, right?" Noah muttered and cleared his throat. 

Ryan smirked. 

After she had somehow managed to overcome the shock of it all she found she could speak again.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asked. Ryan chuckled and lit another cigarette while Noah considered her carefully.

"Remember Lysander, Triss?" He questioned in a low, mysterious voice, which chilled her to the bone. Of course she remembered, how could she possibly forget him? She'd never get peace from that man, even if she'd only spent about three months in that man's presence, and seven years in Damien's, he'd be just as difficult to rid from her mind. But instead of blurting all those things out, she just nodded.

"Good girl. Well, I have a secret for you..." He leaned close to her, until his lips were nearly touching her ear.

"He's here... he wants to have a word with you." She started shivering uncontrollably. She felt her heart speed up and start to beat a hundred miles per hour. She felt boiling hot, but then she felt icy cold. She could feel her fingernails digging into the skin of her palm. But somehow it didn't feel painful. It just felt like an annoying buzz of a fly next to the mind-blowing sound of an electric guitar. But the weird thing was, that there was no guitar, there was just the memory of the guitar...

"Here...?" She finally managed. Her throat was completely dry and her voice was more of a croak than anything else.

"Yes, and do you know what else? Noah's dead." Considering that Noah himself said this, it was very weird. She wrinkled her forehead in confusion. How could Noah be dead if he was right here in front of her? She suddenly became aware of the fact that they were inside an empty building, except for two large black men, each brandishing a gun. They must have herded everyone out... the rational part of her mind told her. The less rational part was screaming in panic. She wanted to get up and run away. But she was locked inside. But then something even more horrific than what she had seen so far began to happen. Noah's skin was melting. She could hear the sizzling sound, and she could smell the disgusting stench of burnt flesh. There was repulsive black smoke and it was as if she were watching Noah getting burnt on a stake, except no stake, and no fire. She knew her mouth was open in a silent scream and she didn't even try to close it up again. Soon Noah wasn't the one sitting in front of her, it was Lysander, a very faint outline of him, but him nonetheless.

She shuddered again. The stench was still lingering in her nose and the smoke was making her eyes water.

"We don't have a lot of time and there are some things we need to discuss, so I suggest that you'll be quiet unless I ask you specifically to speak. And do not be difficult, no matter how well you think you can kick, you are no match to two armed men. Is that clear?" Lysander had a way of speaking in such a manner that you wouldn't dream of disagreeing with him. So she just nodded. And this wasn't even the real him! It was just a sort of hologram or something.

"Now Triss, you didn't think there would be absolutely no consequences to your sudden re-entry to the human world, now did you?" Lysander asked her in a mocking voice.

Actually, she hadn't thought about it. She'd just figured Lysander was out of her life as soon as Damien died. Why did things always have to get all complicated and stuff?

"You _did think there would be no consequences!" Lysander exclaimed, in a slightly irritated voice._

"Sorry." She muttered, feeling a bit confused. What was the big deal anyway? Why wouldn't the world just leave her alone? Why did stupid things have to happen to her? And why wasn't anyone coming to save her? At this point she didn't care if it was Severus, Albus or even bloody Harry Potter. She just wanted to get away from the horrible smell of the place.

"There are consequences. There certainly are. I'll need to take away your memory of the palace and make up a new one. Although I suspect you've already done some damage, no worries, I'm having a friend fixing that little problem. She'll take care of my _old 'friend's' memory." Lysander smiled cruelly, and he seemed to be relishing the thought of his old friend, whoever that was, losing his memory._

"But now, tell me, what is my palace like?" Lysander asked her this question, only a second before he fell into one of his trances. She had learnt to ignore those trances a long time ago and she did that as well at this time.

She began to tell him about the beautiful white palace and the black horses and the two unicorns, and how everything was missing any sign of wood. But instead of those images, completely different pictures started flowing into her mind. 

"Everything was very antique looking... Old wood, it smelled like rot there... there was no grass, but small stones scattered over the ground outside... It was dark..." She went on like that, speaking in a trance-like way herself. Soon the pictures stopped flowing through her mind and she stopped describing all the spider webs. She shuddered at the strain of reliving those horrid memories. How had she survived that awful place? Her train of thought had barely left its station when she felt a hard and heavy object collide with the back of her head. She fell into a deep pit of darkness.

_Severus, don't worry... Christine probably just overslept..._

It was a very echo-ish sounding voice. And it was as if it was underwater as well. A reply came distantly...

_No, something's wrong... wrong... wrong..._

It was Severus! Suddenly it was as if someone had pulled a rug from underneath her and she was falling again. 

She found herself to be sitting in the middle of a rounded room; a Phoenix perched in a corner. She removed her hand from a lion's paw, only to realize that it was the foot of a desk. She looked up to see a man pacing around impatiently. It was Severus. Minerva was sitting near the Phoenix looking stern. She guessed Albus was either behind the desk or not in the room.

_She should have arrived with the train. She heard Severus say distantly. The voices were so odd._

_Why isn't she here?_

*

She woke up to the singing of birds. Or was it the singing of birds? She sat up only to discover that she had a splitting headache. Wonderful!

She grimaced and looked around. She was on the Hogwarts grounds. How had she gotten here? She looked behind her and noticed that she was lying at the very edge of the Forbidden Forest.

She got up and held herself steady by leaning against a tree. She waited until the ground was below her feet again. Then she started walking towards the castle. It was rather irritating actually, every step she took, it seemed she was only getting farther away from the stupid pile of stone.

Finally she made it to the large front doors and discovered that they were unlocked. This other caretaker was sloppy...

After a long and tiresome journey through the twisting and turning passages and corridors of Hogwarts she found herself standing in front of the Headmaster's office entrance. After gathering her wits she whispered the password to the waiting Gargoyle and then she rode up the spinning staircase up to the door.

She could hear voices beyond the door so she decided to wait and listen first.

"She didn't just oversleep, something happened, I know something happened. It probably has something to do with that Noah character. You should have heard the way he spoke on that phone thing. He was talking about disposing of someone. He spoke of it as if it were an everyday thing. That man is dangerous. I know it's him. It's his fault. Or maybe it's those people who bought the flat. They were very suspicious, especially the man..." Severus seemed to be ranting aimlessly. She felt a bit touched that he was worrying about her, but she was also surprised at how accurate his guesses were. Well, maybe not that surprised, she admired it. He was so intelligent, he'd only met Noah once and yet he knew it had something to do with him. Actually, it was Lysander mostly, but it was Noah too, a little bit... 

"Severus, calm down, before Minerva returns. Can you just tell me what happened in London? We didn't get a chance to speak about it because of other more urgent things. Now if we go through the facts. The facts, Severus we might be able to figure out a suitable explanation for her -erm- lateness." It was Albus's old voice speaking and she knew this was the time to make her grand entrance, plus, he said Minerva was on her way...

She knocked on the door and waited.

"This must be Minerva..." Albus muttered, then the door swung open.

She stepped into the room. Severus looked at her with disbelief and Albus seemed relieved.

"Christine?" Severus asked suspiciously.

"Yes." She answered, her voice cracked a little.

"Are you all right?" Albus questioned.

"No." She answered and covered her mouth with her hand. Of course she wasn't all right. She could still feel Noah's flesh melting in front of her. It was just so repulsive. How could Lysander do such a thing? Severus was standing and he was looking at her with worry written all over his face, it seemed that he didn't bother to guard his emotions in front of Albus. She went up to him and hid her face in his robes. They were soft, his robes, and she didn't ever want to leave, but he pushed her away immediately. She made a small sound of protest but he looked at her sternly and told her in a low whisper, so Albus wouldn't hear, that they'd gone over this. She made the small protesting sound again but he stood his ground in the most irritating way.

"Christine, tell me what happened. Severus, why don't you go to your chambers?" Albus left no room for argument. Severus nodded curtly and left and she sat down obediently.

"Lemon drop?" he offered halfheartedly. She shook her head.

"I didn't think so, now, why don't you tell me what happened." She wished she didn't have to relive it again right away, but she did anyway. She told him about how 'Noah' had driven her to a café where she'd found out that Lance was actually Ryan, where 'Noah' had melted and where Lysander had talked to her about something. She didn't remember it now though. All she remembered was Lysander telling her there were consequences... Albus's lips were in a straight line, so straight that she thought even Minerva wouldn't be able to rival him. 

"Just one more thing, Christine what does the palace where the Vampires live look like?" He asked her finally, munching on his Lemon drop.

"It's really dark and spooky, everything smells of rot and there's a lot of old wooden furniture." She told him truthfully. For some reason, that seemed to upset him.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Enter." Albus said and waved his hand in the general direction of the door so it swung open.

Minerva and a strange woman stood there. Minerva looked important as usual and the woman was simply the most gorgeous woman she'd ever set eyes on. Her mousy hair was perfectly straight and grew just past her shoulder blades. She had the curves she had always dreamed of and a beautiful white cloak on, over equally beautiful white robes. Her lips were red and her eyes were a cold hazel color. 

"This is Miss Rice, she says she has urgent Ministry business with you Albus." Minerva told them pompously. Albus's face had gone stony.

"How do you do Miss _Rice?" He asked in his usual warm voice, but the usual twinkle in his eyes was gone. She felt like she knew that woman from somewhere, but she couldn't quite place her._

"Minerva, why don't you take Christine to the hospital wing..." Albus started to say something else but she cut in saying that she was quite all right physically and just needed a bit of rest. She didn't really want to go to that horrid hospital wing again_. She wanted to go see Severus for some reason. She felt like she had this very important thing she had to tell him, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was._

"Well, if you're sure. Ask Severus to get you a headache cure, just in case." Albus said hesitantly, watching Miss Rice from the corner of his eye. Miss Rice smiled charmingly and it seemed that her eyes were swirling... Minerva had already backed out of the room and she found herself backing away slowly as the lovely Miss Rice looked Albus steadily in the eyes. _Something smells fishy... she thought as she closed the door behind her._

She hurried to the dungeons, only stopping briefly to assure Jack of her health being good. Then she stood in front of the door to Severus's chamber for a while. Just when she was about to lift her hand to knock, the door opened, nearly giving her a heart attack.

"Christine?" Severus said, obviously a tad surprised to see her there with her fist in the air.

"Hi." She said and she could feel herself flush. What an odd day... she hadn't blushed in a while. But it was sort of silly way to be found, just standing outside someone's door with one's fist in the air. 

"Want to come in? I was just about to go see if Albus was letting you out any time soon." He moved out of the way of the door to allow her to walk inside. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened, or are you here only for a headache cure?" He questioned mockingly.

"You know me too well." She replied in a sigh.

"Headache cure then." He decided and went into his lab, returning in a few seconds brandishing a phial full of liquid. She looked at him thankfully and started to figure out what this important thing was which she was supposed to tell him. Or else there'd be one of the silences where neither one of them said anything and no one said anything... okay, so that didn't sound quite right... She finally just drank the potion and thanked him, then she left for her own room, chickening out on saying whatever that important thing was. 

*

It was a few weeks later and the term would be beginning shortly. The other caretaker didn't seem to like her and they avoided each other mostly. She was rather happy she didn't have to do much work now, she spent most of her day in the kitchens trying to convince Winky that Dobby was in fact still her friend even if he'd fallen in love with Lolly. She also spent a lot of time with Jack, but she had a feeling that Jack was in a brooding period (when wasn't he?) so she didn't bother him too much. But most of her time went into trying to figure out exactly what it was she needed to tell Severus. She felt like it was something really obvious… She was down in his chambers right now. He was reading some Potion book and taking down notes, he'd been doing that for a while. It was amazing how much work he put into his lessons, which he claimed weren't appreciated by any of the students. He turned the page after looking up and raising an eyebrow at her, it was like he was saying: 'your still here, then?' And then it dawned on her. It was like seeing the blue sky after a particularly cloudy and gray day. And now she understood. Just like that. She understood everything. She knew what Severus wanted her to say. But now there was a problem. Should she say it even if she weren't entirely sure she meant it? Would he know? Could she pull it off? Maybe if she said it now and wasn't sure if she felt, maybe she'd be sure after she said it. Or if not, something would happen and then she'd be sure. But if he wanted her to say this so badly she supposed she could. She wanted him to happy after all, he was one of the only human friends she'd had in a long while.

"Severus, there's something I need to tell you." She said once she'd summoned enough courage. (Probably from some poor Gryffindor walking by...) 

"Yes?"

**Author note: Evil cliffhanger, I know, sorry about that. Please review if you like it!**

**Alpha-reader note: I go to school with the author, I am the 'alpha-reader,' and I am the author's best friend, and I still have no clue of what's going on!**


	21. chapter twenty-one

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything out of the Harry Potter universe. I came up with the character Christine, but Damien owns her mostly. Well, she was anyway. But I own Damien! MUHAHAHAHA!! Anyway, if you recognize anything I don't own, I don't own it. K?******

Damien 

_by Sarah Black_

Chapter twenty-one 

"Well, what is it?" Severus was rapidly losing his patience with her. She could see it. And she knew she couldn't tell him. For one thing she was scared to, and for another he probably wouldn't believe it anyway. 

"I have to go. Right now. Bye." She stood up and left, he shook his head and went back to whatever he had been reading. She had nearly reached her room when she ran into Peeves.

"Christine!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled enthusiastically and started circling the air like mad.

"Peeves!!!" She said mocking his welcome.

"Why are you always in the dungeons?" He asked her all too innocently. She felt suspicious right away.

"I've been visiting Severus and Ja... the Bloody Baron." She told him, hoping he'd float away at the sound of Jack's name.

"Severus and Christine, sitting in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" He cackled and sped away, leaving her standing in the middle of the corridor like a dumbfounded idiot. Finally she realized she was on her way to her room and started moving again. How did Peeves know? They'd been in London at the time. But maybe he was just guessing it because she hung around in the dungeons an awful lot. She decided that Peeves would get bored of it soon if she didn't get upset.

Kissing in a tree, why would anyone want to kiss in a tree? Wouldn't that be terribly uncomfortable? Not to mention the fact that you might fall out of it at any moment. Maybe it was supposed to be tree house. That would be all right, but why would anyone want to make out in a tree house? Why not just kiss on the sofa...? -Or anywhere else than in a tree?

When she was lying in bed trying to fall asleep she thought of her little problem again. How would she tell Severus what she had to tell him? If she were to just walk up to him and flat out and bluntly tell him, he'd think she were joking. He wasn't used to things coming easily to him. She had to somehow make herself believable, and that meant a more sneaky approach than just telling him. Maybe if she did the whole helpless and confused thing... No, she was already helpless and confused enough without adding to it. What if she only half-told him, and then made it sound as if she hadn't thought it through? Would he go for that? How come he had to be that complicated? She tossed and turned, looking for a good sleeping position, but continued to be wide-awake anyhow. Wouldn't he just get the message if she showed up in his room in her nightgown? No, he'd probably just think she'd forgotten her dressing gown or something. Then he'd get annoyed with her and tell her to go to bed. Maybe that was a good idea... she could ask him, 'which bed?' or something. No, that would just irritate him even more. 

She finally decided that she would just have to tell him in such a way that it would be completely believable. Would she be able to pull that off? She decided to sleep on it.

*

It was the day before September first and she still hadn't found a decent way of telling him. And Albus -who had been walking around acting weird for weeks after she returned for London, muttering about changing palaces and Pensives- was finally back to normal. She wondered if it was that woman's fault, but decided against it. Miss Rice had been on Ministry business of course. Now, more importantly, what would she do with Severus? 

She had stopped cleaning this window a while ago, but she still had the previously white cloth in her hand. Bert came up to her suddenly and demanded to know why she wasn't doing her share of the work properly. They had this fight every day. What was the point in having another caretaker if he didn't do all the work for you? She thought and rolled her eyes at him a lot. Then Severus usually showed up with something for Bert to do and saved her. She'd thank him and follow him down to the dungeons and annoy him with numerous questions on what he was doing. 

"You two aren't fighting again are you?" Severus's chilly voice sounded, and he was right on time, too! She wondered briefly if he followed her around in order to save her from Bert, but quickly dismissed the idiotic thought. It wasn't as if he always saved her, in fact he only did half the times. The other half was very high on headaches. 

"I'm not fighting, he is." She informed Severus sweetly. 

"Well Christine, I was looking for you. I need you to do me a favor." Severus told her, his tone was less icy than before but it was still not warm. She wondered if his tone had weathers. And maybe a Weather Channel too. 'Today it will be clouded and chilly, it might snow, so mind what you wear!' She very nearly giggled at the thought and followed Severus's billowing black cloak as he strode away.

"Thank you." She said in the sweetest tone she could muster.

"What's wrong?" He asked her suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing." She told him in an innocent voice, she smiled casually at him.

"You are up to something." He stated and halted. She quit walking as well and looked at him as he crossed his arms and searched her face for whatever she was about to say. Whenever he did that she had the weirdest urge to run away and not look back. 

"Who, me? No, I'm good. There's nothing going on with me, nothing at all. Honest!" She rambled looking everywhere except his eyes. Say, what an interesting crack in the wall... she wondered how it had gotten there, maybe a couple of wizards had fought each other in a duel or something?

"You are worse at lying than Longbottom, Christine." He told her harshly. She flinched for some reason. 

"Well, when I think about it there might be this one thing." She admitted, still not looking him in the eye. And she had been getting pretty good at that too!

"What is it?" He asked, his voice was so demanding. She felt like she couldn't _not_ tell him.

"I... I'm not sure what the thing is." She told him, chickening out yet again. This was beginning to get annoying. She promised herself she'd tell him tomorrow and started to walk away.

"Don't walk away from me when you've promised a favor." He ordered in a strict voice. The authority had her stopping completely.

"Follow me, you can tell me about this 'thing' later." He decided and continued to walk briskly downwards.

When they arrived at his office she was a bit surprised, she'd guessed he wanted her to clean one of his messy potion experiments up. 

She noticed that his desk was overflowing with scrolls the minute she walked inside. 

"I have to monitor a highly delicate potion I'm preparing for the first seventh year lesson, I was wondering if you could sort out these papers, sort them by house. Thank you." He left for his lab as soon as he'd said those words. 

She muttered some nasty words under her breath and began to sort through the endless stack of paper. After her third 'parchment' cut she gave up and leaned against the desk (she had been working on the floor).

At that precise moment Severus walked in, he noticed her just sitting there not doing anything. She smiled sweetly, hoping he wouldn't care. 

"Are you done, Christine?" He asked her in a dangerous voice. She thought of the voice weather channel again, and very nearly giggled. 

"Nearly." She told him, even if it was not exactly near the truth. But he didn't need to know that.

"No, not nearly. Get back to work." With that, he walked over to a bookshelf and pulled out a heavy looking book and then he snatched one of his icky jars off a shelf, and then with one last glare, he left.

She sighed and went back to work. What was going on? Sometimes he was nicer than usual, and sometimes he was just normal and mean. Why did that not put her off? Maybe because he was a challenge, kept her busy enough not to worry about how Lysander was still out there and how she might be in danger and, and… how on earth was she going to make herself sound believable to Severus? Was this Ravenclaw or Slytherin? She looked at the crest that someone had spilt ink on. She put it to the side deciding she'd worry about it later.

Her mind was a mess. She had a headache and she was tired enough to sleep for ten days. But no, she had to do all of Severus's work for him, because he had to do a super important potion, which was more important than she was. How stupid was that? She was jealous of a potion. And why shouldn't she? She wanted attention. Jack swooped through the wall and hovered above her head for a moment.

"Hi, I want attention." She confessed with a pout. Maybe Jack would make her feel better... or not. He usually just made her feel so sorry for him that she forgot how horrible her own problems were. She thought about it. At least she wasn't stuck a ghost forever. At least she didn't have blood stains all over her clothes... actually she did have a bit of blood on her clothes after the paper cuts... but she could ask Winky to wash it out, or do it herself. It wasn't as if she could never change clothes and never eat and never pick anything up, or never hug anyone. She felt incredibly sad. Jack floated out the wall somberly.

When she finally finished (except for that one roll of parchment where the crest was all ink stained) she decided she was going to give Severus the cold shoulder for a while. He deserved it. Or not. Why did those headaches never leave? 

*

It was after the Welcoming Feast in the Great Hall and she had never felt as small as she did now. Well maybe she had, but she didn't want to remember that. She was in Severus's room and she was building up some courage to tell him what she had been trying to tell him for a while. He was sitting on his sofa and she was lying on it, her legs resting on his. He didn't seem to mind awfully much, or maybe he had fallen asleep?

"Severus?" She said questioningly, _please believe what I'm going to say... she thought fiercely._

"Mmm." He mumbled sleepily.

"Are you listening to me?" She asked suspiciously. He needed to be properly awake, what if everything went well, he believed her and all, and tomorrow he wouldn't remember the conversation?

"Yes, what is it?" He asked, he didn't open his eyes, but he seemed to be alert now.

All right. This was it. Now or never. If she chickened out now she'd never forgive herself.

"I know you probably won't believe me, but I've been thinking, about what you said, how we weren't speaking the same language and all that. And I think I know, I think, I think I'm, um." She hadn't felt this nervous in a long time.

"Just say it." He pushed her on.

"Please, don't freak out or anything." She begged, surprising herself with the desperation in her voice.

"I won't." He told her softly. She supposed the weather in his voice was quite calm. Or maybe it was the calm before the storm?

"I love you." She said after a long tense pause. It was odd, how easy it was to say those three words. Why had she waited that long? Maybe it was because she wasn't sure if what she said was true. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was. It didn't matter right now. She looked at Severus. His face was painfully blank. His eyes betrayed no emotion. Then finally, 

"I beg your pardon?" He looked as if he didn't quite believe what he'd heard. Just as she had suspected, she would have to convince him to believe her when she wasn't sure she believed herself. That would be difficult.

"You heard me." She tried to say those words confidently, but she failed, a lot.

"Christine, you do not know what you are talking about." Every word was said slowly and in a way that made her believe he was the one who was right. Because she wasn't really sure what she was talking about. The only 'love' she had ever known had come attached to pain. And Severus hadn't hurt her considerably. What was love? How does one know when one is in love? But she decided to stand her ground, for once in her life.

"No, I think I do know what I'm talking about." She spoke stubbornly, surprisingly so, she had never been very stubborn. Ever.

"You don't know what love is." He stated, a terrible tone had entered his voice, it wasn't the relaxed calm that had been there just a minute ago, it was a tense, strained calm. And it was rapidly getting colder. It might have something to do with his voice, or maybe it was because the fire was dying in the fireplace.

"Don't I? I know perfectly well what love is. And I know it's never the same. What I had with Damien was love, but it was also pain, fear and hatred. It was ice. Ice can burn you. I will always know what love is, and I will always love Damien, letting go of him is something I might never be able to do, and when I try, you just make it harder." All right, where had that come from? She hoped she hadn't crossed the line...

"I'm not trying to make this hard on you. But... why now?" He asked, looking a little tired.

"I've been trying to find a way to tell you in a while now. I was just so scared that you wouldn't believe me." She admitted and realized how tired she was as well.

"You have?" He said suspiciously.

"I have." She confirmed with a weak smile. Why wasn't he telling her something comforting? Why wasn't he saying that he loved her too? Maybe he didn't? Why should he? She was a Muggle, she was the caretaker, (well one of the caretakers...) and she had nearly bitten him once. She had been a Vampire, she was constantly scared, and she wasn't exactly smart, what was she but a pretty face? Why on earth should he fall for her?

"I think you should head to your own room now. You are going to sleep and then you are going to wake up, and then you are going to talk to me again, after we are both rested. All right?" He stared at her, waiting for her response. She nodded.

"See you in the morning then." She said, but couldn't help being disappointed. He hadn't believed her. She could feel it. Tomorrow he'd try to convince her that she wasn't thinking straight. But he wouldn't be successful. This was one thing she wasn't going to chicken out on.

*

She woke up and looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was three in the morning. What had woken her up? She looked around her shadowy room. Everything was perfectly still and quiet. What had stirred her from her peaceful slumber? She had only just stopped having horrid nightmares and now she had insomnia? Well, that was just brilliant. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. But as soon as she had stopped worrying about it and had almost fluttered off to dreamland (not nightmare land) she felt the mattress sink, and groan with the extra weight. Her eyes flew open, only to meet the image of Lysander sitting quite calmly on her bed looking at her with a slight smile.

"Wha... what do you want?" She asked with a small stutter. She realized he wasn't there in person. But he still looked very frightening. And she knew his magic was strong enough to kill her even if he was in Britain and she was somewhere far away from Britain... she didn't know which country was farthest away from Britain. She must have been sleeping in that lesson. Oops.

"Do you know, you can bring Damien back if you want?" Lysander asked with a cruel smile.

"I can?" She questioned in a very small voice. How could that be? He was dead; she remembered all the blood. He had died in her arms. She could still see the look in his eyes when she had her nightmares, which had thankfully stopped. Of course she couldn't bring him back, that was just Lysander speaking nonsense.

"Yes, all you have to do is come back to me, to us. Everything can go back to normal, you do not need to stay here." He spoke softly, almost kindly. But of course, that could be false. He obviously just wanted her to get Damien back. He just wanted to use her. He probably though all she wanted was to get Damien back. Well, she had moved on. She had already told Severus how she felt. And she didn't need Damien anymore to feel protected. She didn't need all that damned Vampire business messing up her life. Why? Why, every time she had things to near normal something had to happen to throw everything into some crazy vortex of doom?

"I don't want to. I'm fine here." She said steadily. He stared at her. 

"You mean you are all right with being a murderer?" He asked quietly.

"I'm not a murderer." She said shakily. He was looking deep into her soul. She felt the memory of him being there becoming faint. It was hazy, smoky, and cloudy. So tired... so tired...

*

She woke up with one goal in mind. She had to talk with Severus. She had to convince him that she really did love him. That she meant it. He had to believe her. He had to. She looked at the time. It was nearly noon! How had she managed to sleep that late? She hurriedly got out of bed, took a shower, got dressed... that whole deal. Then she made her way to lunch. 

"Where were you tonight?" Bert's annoying voice asked behind her.

"Sleeping?" She tried, hoping Bert wasn't too angry. She had completely forgotten that it had been her night to patrol the corridors.

"Yes. You were sleeping. If you try to avoid doing your job one more time, I'll report you to Albus and he'll have you out of here in a second." Bert threatened. She wished Severus would show up, but realized that would be impossible, he was in class still. Lunch wasn't until ten minutes and he never let a class out early.

"I'm very sorry. I'll do it tonight. I promise." She told Bert with her best 'honest' face on. 

"Well, you better." Bert muttered and stalked off. She breathed a sigh of relief, but that didn't last long.

A large black dog came into view when she had turned the corner.

"Sirius!" She yelped in surprise. The dog jumped, which made her happy, she had startled him successfully! She remembered suddenly what Severus had told her. _"Sirius fancies you" She felt an evil grin creep onto her face. The dog glanced around and then headed into an empty room near by. She followed and watched as he transformed into the Sirius she knew and detested._

"Hello Sirius." She greeted, making her voice ooze with honey and sugar.

"Christine." He said seriously. Ha, ha.

"What are you doing here, are you going to let me kick you around some more?" She asked in the same honey dripping voice.

"You wish. I'm here to see Harry." Sirius muttered, not looking into her eyes.

"Who's trying to kill him now?" She asked, now in a new honey oozing _concerned voice._

"Voldemort, who else?" Sirius answered bitterly. She thought for a second and then she realized Voldemort was 'You Know Who'.

"He's the bad guy." She said in a very 'dumb blonde'-ish way.

"He is." Sirius answered simply.

"So, Severus told me something interesting about you." She taunted him with a sweet smile on her lips.

"He did?" Sirius seemed suddenly nervous.

"Yes, he seems to believe you fancy me! Can you believe that? Like _you'd ever have a chance with me." She laughed nastily. She saw his jaw clench and unclench rapidly. _

"I told him to stop being silly. Honestly, he's normally ever so intelligent." She went on, watching Sirius change colors. 

"It's been _lovely seeing you. But now I think I have to go see Severus, I promised I'd talk to him today." She said when Sirius didn't say anything. Then she left, her mood having improved a lot since talking to Bert. It was great to get the bitchy-ness out on someone._

**Author note: Now, you have got to be patient. I have a lot of tests, so I might not be able to write in a while. All right? No cliffhanger now. Everyone's happy. Good. Now review!******

All my thanks to my alpha reader Mephisto, and to all my reviewers. You're great!


	22. chapter twenty-two

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Harry Potter universe or anything else I don't own. Okay, please don't sue me!******

Damien 

_by Sarah Black_

Chapter twenty-two

It was already lunchtime when she reached the Great Hall. She and Severus didn't get to talk through lunch since her little conversation with Sirius had made her a little late. Severus was sitting beside Minerva and 'what's-his-name' the new DADA teacher. Apparently Figg couldn't bear being away from her poor cats for so long. She got stuck sitting next to Hagrid. She didn't dislike him, but she didn't really like him either, he was just so big and hairy and loud. It didn't help her in the war against her headaches.

She really needed some permanent medicine against those headaches. Or maybe she just needed a quiet place to rest; like a nice small cottage in Alaska. She could bring cheese. Hagrid's loud booming laughter brought her out of very nice thoughts and into the very loud present. 

"I dunno 'bout that 'Arry! Don' ya get yerself into any trouble this year now, eh?" Hagrid was speaking (more like yelling) at Harry Potter who seemed to have come to the table with the one purpose of getting Hagrid to yell so she would get a headache. She glared at the boy. He smiled weakly.

"Potter, if you want to have Hagrid yell at you, could you please not do that when I'm sitting next to him?" She hissed rather meanly.

"Sorry Miss Luan." Harry said sheepishly. 

"Run along, go do something kids do..." She muttered, regretting bursting out like that. But Harry didn't need to be completely worshipped by all, did he? Was Harry supposed to be spared the horrible pain of being asked to consider other people's headaches? She needed to ask Severus. She decided to talk to him right away. Of course, just as she had decided on that Severus stood up and walked towards his dungeon. She looked at her plate, which hadn't been touched. It wouldn't hurt if she finished her lunch, now would it?

After consuming the last of her lunch she stood up and started to purposefully walking towards the dungeon. The bell still hadn't sounded through the castle and she still had time to talk before Severus started his next lesson.

"Luan, one of the second floor girl's bathroom is flooding the floors, I want you to clean it." She started to explain that she had to speak to Severus but he cut her off. "No 'buts'." He handed her a mop. She pouted at him and walked towards the second floor grumbling nasty things under her breath. As she reached the first puddle of water the bell rang loudly.

Now Severus would be teaching by the time she reached his classroom. Then she'd have to wait until the class was over. She sighed. So unfair. Stupid Bert. He should be exterminated. But then who'd do all the work for her? She resigned herself to the fate of mopping the water up.

"Well, well, well. What do I have here? The princess of the mopping kingdom perhaps?" It was Sirius's irritating voice. She felt her cheeks flush with anger.

"Leave me alone." She whined when she couldn't come up with anything intelligent to say.

"I think... no." Sirius answered snappishly.

"Someone might see you." She said through her teeth.

"I don't think so." Sirius said coolly.

"I'll scream." She threatened.

"I'll turn into a dog and you'll look like an idiot with some weird fear of dogs." Sirius snapped.

"Just go away, I want to hurry this up so I can talk to Severus, I promised I'd talk to him and then Bert told me to mop. I don't really want to mop, cause mopping is stupid." She was just rambling random thoughts as she tried to ignore Sirius's mocking-ly-ness.

"You are behaving like a child, Christine." Sirius told her sharply.

"I don't care." She muttered and hurriedly finished after a rather sloppy job on the floor. 

"You missed a spot." Sirius informed her sarcastically.

"Bye." She hissed at him. She felt very angry that Sirius had somehow gotten the upper hand. That annoyed her. She had been starting to think that she actually could win arguments on her own and things such as those, but, -but, it was all so confusing and she just had to talk to Severus. She walked as fast as she could towards Severus's classroom. When she finally got there she didn't rush into the room right away. She pressed her ear up to the door to determine when the best time to barge in would be. If he was displaying some way of doing a potion it wasn't a good idea to interrupt.

"Potter, Weasley, fifteen points from Gryffindor, start paying attention or I'll make it fifty." Severus's voice said.

She hesitated a moment but then she knocked on the door. She waited anxiously and listened, which was sort of stupid since you couldn't hear Severus when he walked.

The door opened. She smiled weakly.

"What do you want?" Severus asked in an annoyed manner.

"We have to talk." She whispered so none of the students would hear.

"Go to my office." He whispered back, and then closed the door viciously.

She walked a few steps towards his office but then stopped as Severus started yelling.

"Longbottom! When will you learn? This is very simple, you never, NEVER add any sort of scale, or scaled animal _before any sort of feather!!!" _

_Interesting. She thought and let herself into Severus's office. While she waited, she grew nervous, very nervous. What if Severus would tell her he didn't like her at all any more and never wanted to see her again? What if he told her he didn't think she could ever be more than a friend? She started to fidget with her rather large gray sweater. After what seemed like forever the bell rang. She took a deep breath and opened the door to see if the door to the classroom was open yet. It was, and students were streaming out of the room._

"Neville, that last explosion was bloody brilliant!"

"Ron, you make it sound as if Neville does it on purpose!" 

Neville, Ron, Hermione and Harry were the first to walk by the place where she was standing. Harry looked at her suspiciously and pulled on Ron's sleeve to make his friend notice as well. She smiled sweetly at them. Ron blushed a bit and Hermione glared at them. Draco Malfoy looked at her suspiciously as he passed and started to whisper something to his two large friends. Finally the crowd of teenagers had passed and Severus walked towards her.

"I told you to wait inside my office, not beside it." He hissed and pushed her inside. She made a small sound of protest, but he wasn't really hurting her, though.

"Sorry." She muttered and looked down. 

He glared at her and there was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Finally Severus broke it.

"Did you really mean what you said?" He asked coldly.

"If I didn't, would I have said it? I mean, do you think I'd chance something like that with just anyone after the whole thing with Damien?" She was defensive, and she was determined to get what she wanted. No matter what it took. She'd lie if she had to. She'd been getting better at lying and hiding guilt. It might have had something to do all this hanging around Severus, or maybe it was because she was constantly lying to Bert about chores and things.

"I don't understand you Christine. If you'd have said that to me a month ago... I don't know, it just seems like such a challenge now, I don't even know what it is about you, but it's something... I don't know. I hate not knowing." He seemed to be half speaking to himself and half speaking to her. She had a very hard time understanding him, but she had a feeling he thought she'd be too much to handle for him.

"You don't think you can handle me?" She asked, testing his response. 

"I always thought I could, but now, you just keep getting more and more complicated. At first when you came here, I didn't like you at all. You were too whiny, and you still are. But now I know why, and I know you have a right to, but it's still bloody irritating. Then there was that whole potion incident with Neville... and I came to your room.

You see, before your uncle died he was a good friend of mine. I suppose misery loves company. Anyway, when we were both in a particularly miserable mood we'd drink and we'd complain. And then he was gone and you were here. It was all very off balance." Severus had started to pace, he looked like a large black panther pacing in a cage.

"I didn't know you were such good friends." She said softly.

"And now you say... -what you said, and I'm not sure if I should believe you." Severus said looking annoyed. She hoped it was annoyance towards him but not towards her. She didn't really like it when he was annoyed with her. 

"I did mean what I said." She told him putting on her most honest and decided face.

"Why should I believe you?" He asked and walked right up to her and drawing himself to his full height, towering over her threateningly.

"Would I lie?" She said, with a wicked smile playing on her lips.

"That's what I'd like to find out." He answered back.

She put her arms around him and pulled him to her lips. This time, he didn't fight her off.

A loud knock at the door interrupted them. They broke apart and she smiled at his mutter of curses.

He opened the door swiftly and glared at Minerva who stood there with a glare of her own.

"I violently dislike you." He told Minerva.

"I just came to remind you of the staff meeting tomorrow morning." She informed Severus with an air of importance, ignoring his comment expertly.

"Is that all?" He asked in a very dangerous tone indeed. Minerva noticed her leaning on his desk and looked at Severus questioningly.

"Am I interrupting something?" She asked snappishly.

"Of course not Minerva, why would you think that, my day is all about waiting for you to show up and tell me about the next _important staff meeting." She had never heard Severus speak with such an amount of sarcasm before._

"Anyway, you will be there, and if you won't, I swear by everything that I hold dear, I will come down and drag you up there by magic!" She took of her glasses, polished them on her robe sleeve and put them on again.

"Fine, what time is it?" Asked Severus and rolled his eyes.

"Nine AM." She told him and turned to walk away. Severus slammed the door shut.

"I swear, she'll be the death of me if I survive the Dark Lord." Severus muttered and sat down in his desk chair. 

She smiled at him and decided to turn his mind somewhere else.

"I met Sirius in the corridor just before I came to your classroom." She told him nonchalantly.

"Really? Did he say what he was doing here?" He asked sounding only semi-interested.

"He said he was visiting Harry." She answered back.

"What did you tell him?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing." She said innocently and smiled her sweetest smile.

"You didn't." He looked at her suspiciously.

"Didn't what?" She asked, still very innocently.

"Did you tell him that you thought he fancied you?" He asked, a sinister smirk in the making.

"Well, I told him that when I first met him, then I met him again and he was mean to me... I don't know why..." She pouted as she told Severus that Sirius had been mean to her.

"He will pay." Severus said solemnly, his evil smirk in place.

"Oh, yes. He will." She added.

*

She had never had that much fun at dinner before. Severus and Minerva had kept arguing about that staff meeting and that had been really funny, and she had spoken to Trelawney. (She had decided that the spirits needed her at dinner that night.) Sybill proved to be a very amusing person. She had found out that her hand could actually foretell the future. According to Sybill, she'd get married, have three children and then die in a tragic broomstick accident. And then, Sybill had gotten incredibly insulted when she laughed in her face. Very peculiar. 

Now she was lying on Severus's sofa and he was reading again. She would never understand how much that man could read. She always got bored with reading, hence all the bad grades at school. Well except, she had gotten very good grades in the school subject of school balls. Well, she would have gotten a very good grade if they had graded that subject...

"Severus." She said and looked at him as he turned a page.

"Mmm?" He mumbled; his mind stuck in the book.

"Did you see that flying green monkey?" She asked seriously.

"Mmm." He answered. After a few seconds he looked at her strangely.

"Flying green monkey?" He questioned looking quite bewildered.

"I had to say something to get your attention." She told him and giggled at the expression in his face.

"Well, now you have my attention, what do you want?" He asked and put the book where it belonged.

"I want attention, I already told you." She smiled as he rolled his eyes - in an annoyed manner, at her behavior.

"Stop being annoying." He ordered.

"Sorry, but I'm bored." She told him apologetically. 

"You've never been bored before." He stated and picked another book up.

"Of course I was bored before, I just didn't tell you." She answered.

"Well, why didn't you tell me then?" He asked with a sigh.

"I dunno." She told him truthfully.

"Well I'm no bloody entertainer, go find a book to read or something." He didn't seem very angry with her, just a little irritated, maybe a little tired. But she didn't want him to be annoyed with her. 

She leaned her head on his shoulder and then looked up at him. "I don't like reading." She confessed.

"Why not?" He asked, she was glad to realize he was no longer annoyed.

"They just don't interest me much, too many words, I normally like things to be simple." She told him and started to fidget with her large gray sweater.

"Simple and you in the same sentence should be funny." He told her with a raised eyebrow.

"Ha, ha." She said and closed her eyes, even if she wasn't tired at all. 

"Your hair is full of knots." He informed her after a while.

"I never have time to brush it." She confessed. "I always have to hurry out of the shower, get dressed, run to breakfast and then Bert lands me with a bunch of things to do." She continued, trying not to be too whiny.

"Poor Christine." Severus said sarcastically.

"Brushing your hair is important." She protested to his sarcasm.

"Of course it is." He agreed with her mockingly.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"That!"

"What?"

She laughed at his mocking her and kissed him. And this time, there was no knock at the door.

*

She woke up to a loud yell.

"Severus! I know you're in there! I told you to come to the staff meeting and what do you do? You don't come! Now let me in right this instant!" It was Minerva, and she seemed to have forgotten the power of knocking her fists possessed.

She looked at Severus who was fast asleep and didn't seemed moved at all be Minerva's violent shouts. She decided to answer the door and make Minerva go away. So she put her large gray sweater and hurried to the door.

"Severus!" Minerva screeched as she pulled the door open.

"Be quiet." She ordered Minerva in a hoarse voice.

Minerva stood there and blinked for a while. 

"Christine?" She finally asked.

"Yes." She answered tiredly.

"Is Severus there?" She questioned delicately.

"No, we decided to switch rooms for a night." She said as seriously as she could muster.

"I don't believe you." Minerva muttered and pushed past her and into Severus's room.

Minerva headed straight for the bedroom and she followed her.

Severus was sleeping on his side, nearly invisible, for he was covered with a forest green quilt. 

Minerva glared at her for some reason.

"Do you know what time it is, Christine?" Minerva asked and took of her glasses angrily.

"Eight?" She tried and yawned.

"Try ten past nine." Minerva screeched. 

Severus moved and the two stopped talking and walked out of the room so they wouldn't disturb him. Well she pulled Minerva out so they wouldn't disturb him.

"Why are you here?" Minerva asked finally.

"I must have fallen asleep on the sofa." She answered casually. "I did that a week ago, too." She tried to speak of it as if was the most natural thing in the world.

"Then why are you not wearing all of your clothes?" Minerva asked with a disapproving frown.

"I was about to have a shower when you started yelling." She answered smoothly.

"I had been yelling for ten minutes when you finally opened the door." Minerva said again, a frown still in place on her unbelievably thin lips.

"I thought Severus would get it, but when he didn't, I decided to shut you up myself." She said, lying again. This lying thing was much easier when you knew the person before you wouldn't start hitting you at any second.

"Shut me up?" Minerva's voice reached an hysterical high pitch.

"Shhh, he's sleeping, he stayed up very late, reading some boring book, the book was so boring that it made me fall asleep as well." She stated; the lies were just too easy to tell.

"All right, I'll wake Severus up and tell him to go to that staff meeting. Why don't you go back upstairs and tell the other teachers that he'll be up in a moment?" She continued when Minerva didn't say anything.

"Fine. You have ten minutes to get him to the staff room after I've entered it. Understand?" Minerva's voice was nearly normal now.

"Not really, no." She answered truthfully.

"I'll go to the staff room, then I will wait ten minutes and if Severus isn't there within that time I will get very, very, angry." Minerva said slowly, as if she were talking to a particularly dim person.

"Okay." She answered and pushed Minerva out the door. 

She then leaned against the door and closed her eyes. 

"What was that all about?" Severus's voice asked.

**Author note: Sorry I haven't written in a while. I only have one more test on Tuesday and then there won't be much more tests! YES!! Thanks go to Mephisto my alpha-reader* and to all my reviewers! Thank you so much!**


	23. chapter twenty-three

**Disclaimer: I don't own George Michael. I don't own anything from the Harry Potter universe or anything else the mighty JKR has created. And I don't own anything else I might have mentioned that is not mine. Please don't sue me.**

**Damien**

_by Sarah Black_

Chapter twenty-three 

"Well?" Severus stood there wearing a green bathrobe, looking a bit odd to a person who had only ever seen him wear black.

"What was what all about?" She asked, hoping he'd fall for the 'innocent and stupid' thing.

"Who was just here?" He asked; she could see his patience slipping.

"Minerva." She answered timidly, after a pause. There was another silence and Severus looked completely blank. 

"What did you say to her?" He finally barked, making her flinch. She searched through her mind for the words she had exchanged with Minerva but they seemed to be slipping away, like a dream would after you woke up. 

"Well?" Severus seemed to be growing more and more impatient and suspicious of her being there. She also began to wonder why she was standing in Severus's room at such an early hour, wearing only her gray sweater.

"I don't know." She told him pathetically, but truthfully. She wished she could remember something, she felt incredibly helpless and she was starting to think something weird was going on. Something Lysander weird.

"What are you doing here anyway?" He asked after some swearwords had escaped him. She looked at him her eyes wide and unblinking, before shrugging and falling back into the bottomless pit of helplessness.

"I think you should put some more of your clothes on, Christine, and get the hell out of my room, I have a staff meeting I need to attend." Severus spoke in a more icy voice than he had ever used with her. She felt her skin prickle and her hair stand on end. She tried to suppress a shudder but failed. She hurriedly picked her clothes up, dressed and went to her room. She rested her head on her pillow and looked up; taking in the velvet sky of the four-poster bed she was lying in. What was happening? Why couldn't she remember anything? And why was she suddenly scared to death of Severus? And what was this lump she was lying on? She reached her hand under the covers of her bed and pulled out a box wrapped in black glossy paper.

"What could this be?" She asked herself and began to unwrap it. Who would be leaving presents in her room? It wasn't her birthday and Christmas was ages away. Maybe it was from Winky? She dismissed the idea and then thought of Dobby, but the parcel didn't seem to contain socks, so she dismissed that idea as well.

She turned the open box over so it's contents fell out. A note, and some white plastic thing. She turned the note over to see one word, it confused her and she looked again at the plastic thing. It looked like an ordinary pregnancy tester. She read the note again and felt even more confused. What could it mean? Maybe she should ask Jack? Or Rachel maybe, she didn't feel comfortable waving pregnancy tests into Jack's face. She left the two things on her bed and decided to have a shower. Maybe she'd feel better afterwards...

*

Two weeks came and went and she still hadn't figured out what that message meant. She kept both the note and the tester in her underwear drawer, where she hoped no one would go snooping. She was lying in bed at that moment, and she was starting to feel a bit queasy. She hoped it was something breakfast would vanquish and decided to get out of bed. She had been up all of the night before, patrolling the corridors.

She had found no one and that irritated her quite a bit; it made her feel as if she had been awake in the night for nothing. When she could have been sleeping quite happily. Actually, it seemed to her, that she was only happy these days when she was indeed sleeping. She couldn't get Bert off her back, Severus was being rather icy towards her ever since that morning two weeks earlier, and she barely had time to visit any of her other friends because of stupid Bert. Although Rachel had been very nice during the past two weeks.

But she still couldn't work up the nerve to ask her what she thought she should do about certain objects in her underwear drawer. What was going on with her stomach? Maybe some toast... no, thinking of food just made it worse. She was probably getting sick. Hanging around a drafty castle did have its drawbacks, then. Her stomach started doing something even stranger than before and she couldn't bring herself to stand up she felt so awful. But she had to stand up; she had to get to the bathroom...

***_Some time later-_

She must have caught the flu. Was she allowed to call in sick? She had been allowed to do that at school... And this was a school. -A big-cold-flu-giving-castle-school, but a school nonetheless. She just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. Perhaps she had a fewer? She felt her forehead, but it felt pretty normal. But when had she become an expert? Perhaps she should try to drag herself to Madam Pomfrey? She decided against it, she hated the Hospital Wing with a deadly passion. 

A loud knock at the door interrupted her train of thought.

"Christine! Did you not hear me when I said I wanted you to polish all the windows this morning?" Bert's gruff voice barked at her through the door.

"Go away!" She whined, trying to make her voice sound as sick as possible. Stupid Bert, as far as she was concerned he could just go get stuffed. But he wouldn't get stuffed, cause he was the amazingly annoying Bert, super caretaker Bert! She wished he had been one of those guys she could push around and make him do whatever she wanted.

But of course he wasn't. Sometimes she felt the world was just trying to make her life as difficult as possibly possible. Stupid world. What was it picking on her for? What had she done that had been so horrible? Maybe she had been a really mean rich person in a previous life, one of those people who got rich because there were little children somewhere in Elbonia slaving away for no salary an hour, maybe the universe was punishing her or something? Wait! What was she thinking? She wasn't Hindi... actually she didn't have any particular religion. But she liked to think she was Christian. Funny, she had this super Christian name and she hadn't been to Church since she got confirmed. And she had probably sinned a lot too, broken all the commandments, yes, even the murder one, but maybe that was okay? Damien had been really mean. 

She listened for Bert's footsteps and realized he had gone away. She was really warm. Why was it so warm all of a sudden? Who turned on the oven? Was there a fire...? 

She woke up bathed in sweat and feeling really sticky. Her hair was sticking to her face and her sheets to her body. The sun was shining on her; it's brightness irritating her eyes and making her want to rub them. Her breath was probably awful as well, as she hadn't brushed her teeth after being sick. He mouth tasted bad and she wanted nothing more than to take a shower. So she did, it was difficult, but the stickiness of it all kept her going. She couldn't remain standing in the shower and sat curled up on the tiles that lined the bottom of the chamber. She had a hard time breathing, and her throat felt weird. She really wanted her mother to be there for some reason, and she disliked her mother a lot.

All she remembered of her mother before leaving with Damien was their constant fighting. Her mother had been such a control freak and so petty and just really horrible. Her father. She had barely known him. He was a workaholic with really bad hobbies, such as the 'sport' of chess. She didn't think of chess as a sport, it was more of a hobby for nerds. But her father didn't look like a nerd; maybe he was a closet nerd, who actually just wanted to start up his own bug collection? She wouldn't know. As far as she knew they were both dead. And she hadn't been invited to the funeral or the service. Unfair.

She managed to drag herself out of the shower and onto the towel on the floor. She didn't know exactly what happened after that. She might have fallen asleep on the towel, but she figured it was unlikely. Or maybe it wasn't unlikely? Maybe she had, and she had just been dreaming when George Michael came to see her when she was lying in a coffin. Yes, that was definitely a dream, she decided and got of the floor with a struggle. She praised the lord for House elves as she noticed her bed had been made and changed. She got a large T-shirt out of one of her drawers, and then she opened her underwear drawer and stared at the plastic test and the note. 

_"'Congratulations'. What on earth does it mean?" She asked herself out loud, pondering it. "It can't mean that I'm pregnant, cause I haven't slept with anyone since I killed Damien, and if we had conceived then, I'd have noticed something by now, morning sickness for a start, and a large round stomach, maybe." She slurred the words, hardly able to get her tongue to work as it should. She didn't even begin to fathom why her mind was working rationally. Then she thought about what she'd just said. _

"Morning sickness?" She repeated the words, feeling like she was supposed to be having a brainstorm or something. 

"Quick brain, explain!" She muttered, feeling her eyelids drop. She was really tired. Probably because, -according to Bert's schedule, it was always her turn to be on nightshift. 

What do people say when someone tells them you're pregnant? The still working part of her brain asked her. They say _congratulations_. She answered herself, feeling quite silly, leaning on her open underwear drawer, having a conversation with herself, in her in her own head.

"Congratulations." She repeated to herself in the same slurred manner. She looked at the note. Then she looked at the little plastic test. Then she looked at the note again. She repeated the two actions for an unhealthy amount of time. She knew the answer to her question, but she wouldn't believe it. She couldn't be pregnant! You can't just become pregnant out of the blue! You need to sleep with a guy to do that, she wasn't completely stupid, she knew that much. But, but, but hey... who was this from anyway?

She blinked a couple of times, knowing the obvious answer was there, but her mind was a bit slow at the moment so the name Lysander didn't show up on her brain radar until a moment later than it would have normally. She had to have a discussion with Albus about this Bert person. Wasn't he supposed to be here to make her job easier? All he'd done so far was annoy her and make her patrol the corridors endlessly at night. But Lysander, right. Bad guy, grr. She had to go to sleep! She went to her bed and went out like a light as soon as her head hit the softness of her pillow. Her last thought before drifting off was, 'Nice pillow..."

*

When she woke up the sun was shining outside her window anymore, and she was very hungry. But there were more urgent things on her mind that food. Lysander had sent her that stuff, Lysander was plotting evil deeds, and he had to be stopped! Now, whom could she get to make Lysander stop being mean to her? Harry Potter was a hero-ish type; maybe he'd do it? Then again, what would a sixteen-year-old boy possibly be able to do against a thousand year old Vampire sorcerer with unstoppable power? She'd have to talk to Harry sometime later; he'd probably be busy with that 'You Know Who' thing though. Maybe if she asked him really nicely?

What about Dumbledore? He seemed to have some history with Lysander... she wondered what that was. Perhaps they had grown up together and Lysander had then stole Albus's girlfriend away? No, Albus wasn't _that old. Maybe Albus had not been invited to Lysander's house warming party and became bitter... no, that was very far fetched. _

She decided to think about it later. After all, it was all really confusing and probably complicated too.

She spotted the white plastic object. It seemed to mock her. She was the victim of white plastic pregnancy tester mockery. Could she sue something for that? Well, there was no use in putting it off endlessly. She had to find out. 

She snatched the tester and went into the bathroom where she followed all of the instructions. Then she had to wait. Time had never passed slower. Time was mocking her as well. She was being mocked by a lot of objects and it was annoying. She began to pace to pass the time, but quickly held up with it, as it started to make her stomach turn again. She started to move her toes hyperactively as she lay on her bed. She felt anxious and excited at once. What if she was pregnant? What would happen? Should she have the baby?

She thought about what a baby would be like; a screaming, pooping baby. It would keep her up during the night, as if she got to sleep in the night anyway because of stupid Bert anyway. And when it grew a bit older she'd have to wipe its butt when it'd be done on the toilet. It would smell, it would be loud and it would refuse to bathe, then it would refuse to get out of bath. Yep, babies were really _cute. She suddenly knew she needed to be sick again. But she had nothing in her stomach. She forced herself to drink some water and tried to relax in her bed. She soon found a position she liked, on her side with her knees hugged to her chest. She didn't know for how long she lay there pitying herself before the next wave of nausea swept over her and she got rid of the water in her stomach, the wrong way._

A while later, (she didn't follow time much) there was a gentle knock on her door.

"Go away, Bert!" She yelled, her voice cracking mid way through the yell.

"It's Albus." A grim voice answered back.

"Go away, _Albus, then." She whined loudly again. Why did people act like that? When you yell the wrong name they get all upset and obsess about petty details like: 'my name isn't Bert, I'm Albus!' _

"Christine, I think we need to talk. She didn't know exactly why, but she boiled over.

"Get the hell away from me!" She screeched. But then she came to her senses and realized this wasn't her mother she was talking to but a very respected headmaster.

"I'm sorry… come in…" She whimpered. She heard the door creak open and buried her head in the covers, hiding her face away in shame. She didn't know what came over her. She was just a tad hormonal, nothing wrong with that. Or maybe there was something wrong with that? Was she maybe the only one who behaved like that? She didn't know anything about pregnancies. She only knew a little about children, and that was what her mother told her, and she had a feeling her mother only told her the bad sides. But with all those bad sides, there couldn't be many sides left to be good ones, could there?

"Christine, Bert came to speak with me. He informs me that you have been doing hardly any work at all. I'm not paying you to laze about in your room. I don't mean to be harsh, I know what you've been through, but you're not here to be spoiled." Albus spoke softly, almost kindly, but firmly as well and she knew she wouldn't be able to argue. Even if she'd been fully healthy, she wouldn't have been able to argue. Probably not even if she would be like she was when she was sixteen, she wouldn't be able to argue. It just wasn't a possibility.

"I threw up, twice. Bert's a colossal liar, I've been up for around ninety-six hours working and working and working and patrolling, and I'm pregnant, Lysander sent me a test, but I haven't slept with anyone, and it's all a big ugly mess and I'm so tired." She spoke in a muffled voice through her pillow, but she knew Albus would understand her. 

"That's a lot of information, Christine." Albus replied calmly. He closed his eyes and seemed to organize his thoughts. "I'll have to speak with Bert, you say you've been up for four nights straight?" He paused to catch a nod from her. "And Bert, he orders you to stay up and patrol every night?" Albus asked gravely. She nodded again in response.

"Well that's no good. I'll deal with that later, now we need to talk about the other, more important things you mentioned." Albus paused again and looked at her, she turned around to face him, glad to be able to breathe properly again. Breathing through her pillow was difficult.

"You say you tested pregnant, but you have not had contact with a man... are you absolutely sure? I know Lysander is capable of many things, but I'm quite sure Lysander is not able to create a child within you out of nothing." Albus didn't seem at all uncomfortable about speaking of such things with her, but she was uncomfortable and didn't feel like talking about it.

"Can I kill it? I don't want a baby. They're loud." She told him honestly. He did something close to glaring and she decided to be quiet.

"Tell me, in the last month, have you found yourself being somewhere and not remembering what you just did?" Albus asked in a concentrated way.

"Yes, I was in Severus's room, I had just talked to Minerva and I couldn't remember what we talked about. It was so weird. Then Severus was mean to me, and he's been acting really mean and I don't know why. I think I've lost my only human friend and I feel so alone, and he said I was whiny!" She knew she was in fact whining, but that didn't matter, the point was: friends shouldn't tell friend they were whiny. And friends shouldn't be mean to friends, just because they couldn't remember what stupid Minerva said.

Albus was looking at her in that way. It was the way teachers had always looked at her when they had just asked her a very easy question. Okay, she was supposed to know something now. What? What was she supposed to know? Albus looked at her even more intensely. She decided to show her stupidity off by asking.

"What?" She questioned, sounding more irritated then she had intended.

"Do you remember why you were in Severus's room?" Albus asked patiently.

"Not really." She admitted, but what did that have to do with anything? "So?" She said and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you remember where you were the night before you were in Severus's room?" He asked her again in the same patient voice.

"Not really." She admitted again. This was stupid, why didn't he just tell her whatever... it... was . . .

"Oh." She said, feeling suddenly very stupid. Did Severus remember? "You don't think Severus remembers? Maybe that's why he's been all mean?" She asked Albus starting to feel the familiar feeling of horrible dread.

"No, I don't think so, Christine." Albus answered simply. He seemed to be content to wait for her to gather her chaotic mind.

Now she remembered, he had asked what she was doing there so, obviously, he didn't know. That was a good thing. Or maybe it wasn't. Now she'd probably get stuck telling him! Oh, she really wanted to kill that stupid baby!

"I want an abortion." She told Albus stubbornly. "I can't have a baby, I'm only twenty-four. And besides, I'm not married! And I can't marry Severus, we're just friends. And it would be completely weird." She told Albus in despair. 

"You won't be able to abort that baby, Christine. If Lysander wants you to be a mother, you'll be a mother and there's nothing we can do about it." Albus told her calmly, but his calm exterior did nothing to suppress her despairing one.

"You'll have to tell Severus." Albus finally said that dreaded sentence. She didn't want to tell Severus, he'd get even angrier with her than he already was. And she didn't want him to be angry; these last two weeks had been hard enough. And now there were more problems. Just great, just bloody great. 

"I can't." She told Albus in truth. She would never be able to tell Severus and not drop down dead. She just knew she wouldn't.

"Yes you can. I'll go and ask him to come here, so you can speak in private." Albus told her and headed for the door to the corridor-from her room. But before he departed he halted and turned to face her.

"Don't go anywhere." Albus told her sternly, vanquishing her plans of running away.

"Fine." She agreed grumpily. Then he turned back towards the door and left.

She sighed and dropped herself backwards onto the bed again. Her eyes were closed and the bed had stopped shaking. The room was quiet and void of voices once more. But not for long.

"Hello Triss, my dearest."

**Author note: Mean cliffhanger. I'm aware of it, yes. Don't come after me with torches and pitchforks, okay? I hope you have the time to review!******

**Note from the bulletproof-reader, Mephisto:** I hope that no one flamed the last chapter too badly, but I _know_ that this one's good enough to make up for it. P.S. Everybody has time to review.


	24. chapter twenty-four

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the harry Potter universe, such as Hogwarts. I don't own Lysander's stuff either. He does. And um... I'm done. Please don't sue me!  
  
Damien  
  
by Sarah Black  
  
chapter twenty-four  
  
"Lysander?" She found herself asking in a bewildered tone. She felt a bit strange inside. Kind of scared, but sort of tired too. Would this never stop?  
  
"Yes, it is me. Are you afraid?" Asked Lysander's voice. She looked around her room. Trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.  
  
"Yes." She answered as her fear spread out into each body part. She felt it paralyze her, she couldn't do anything but start to breathe extremely fast. Her heart seemed to be trying to find out if it could beat it's way out of her chest.  
  
"Whatever for?" Asked Lysander's voice calmly. He spoke like the man who had all the time in the world. She realized she wouldn't be going anywhere soon so she tried to calm herself down. But it was difficult with that... thing in her room, well, at least his voice.  
  
"I suppose I might be a bit scared of you because you keep making my life hell... but hey! Lets not be judgmental here." She snapped sarcastically. She didn't fell like being sarcastic though. She felt like trembling and curling herself into a small ball and hiding under her bedcovers. Why was he here? Or rather, why was his voice here? Did he just do this to torment her? Stupid Lysander. This was all his fault. She didn't know exactly what was his fault, but she knew he had done something bad.  
  
"My dearest Triss. You are getting everything wrong... I am not here to hurt you. I have never wanted to hurt you. It's the people here that hurt you. Don't you understand?" Lysander was speaking very soothingly and in such a way that you wanted to believe him. You wanted to do as he said. And she felt herself start to listen more out of interest than out of fear.  
  
"How so?" She found herself asking. Albus had never been cruel to her as Damien and Lysander had been. Severus would never hurt her... though his cold treatment of her was rather painful. Maybe Lysander was right. Maybe she shouldn't stay here. Bert was very mean for example. And Minerva seemed to have it in for her too. And now that she thought about it, wasn't it Albus who kept putting her in that awful Hospital Wing?  
  
"I think you know what I mean, Triss." Lysander told her softly. And she found that she did know. Although that palace of Lysander's hadn't been the most beautiful place in the world.  
  
"Are you going to take me away from here?" She asked him, curiosity getting the better of her. Although there was one small voice in her mind that kept telling her not to believe Lysander, there was just too much pressure from the other side of her mind.  
  
"Only if you want me to, my dearest Triss." He informed her in a kind voice.  
  
"Where would you take me?" She asked and got up from her bed. Her heart hadn't slowed down and she felt flushed and sticky.  
  
"I would take you to a nice little house, some of my friend are there, they would take very good care of you and your baby. You see, Damien once told me all he ever wanted was a son. And I am going to take care of you and your baby, to honor his memory." Lysander's sad, but soothing voice penetrated her thin shell of a shield and struck home.  
  
"I'll go with you." She told him and her heartbeats and her breathing started returning to normal. She had the feeling of someone twisting something in her stomach, and the tiny voice in the back of her mind was screaming at her that this was the wrong thing to do. But it was too late now. Lysander's purple and black shimmering in the air had started to form, and soon Lysander's image was standing in front of her. He smiled at her kindly, and reached his hand out for her to take. She put her right hand into his cold one, but the coolness was soothing to her heated skin. The bubble of purple and black which she was very familiar with started to form around them, she thought once or twice about luggage, but figured she'd get everything she needed and more from those friends of Lysander's. The sphere of shadowy color floated out one of the windows slowly and then, without warning, it disappeared.  
  
The next thing she knew was gentle hands (nothing like Poppy's clammy unfriendly fingers) were laying her down on the softest bed she could remember lying on. Soft voice spoke around her and she felt too tired to lift her eyelids anymore. So she sank into a blissfully deep sleep. She dreamt no dreams, no nightmares either. It was heavenly rest.  
  
Once she had woken up she realized her surroundings. There were no things of wood, but many beautiful things of glass and steel. The supports of the very bed she was lying on were steel, it was a very small room though. It had windows, and the view wasn't anything special. She knew she was in a small cottage, probably at the foot of a mountain or something. But she didn't really care. She got up and opened the door to another room, it seemed to be the main area. There were three kind looking men in the room, and one woman. They were all sitting at a table made of smooth looking steel. One of the men looked up and their eyes met.  
  
"Good morning." He said and smiled at her charmingly. All three men had sandy colored hair, the woman had a very dark red hair color. They were all young and very beautiful looking. And she knew at once that they were Lysander's Vampires, for the were all dressed in light white clothing.  
  
"G-good morning." She answered back, but couldn't help but stutter. What had she gotten herself into now?  
  
"Do not worry Triss. We won't harm you. We only want the very best for you and your child." One of the men said somberly. She knew right away he was the one in charge, and he was also, very clearly, the oldest of the four. Although he didn't look it of course. She could tell by the way he moved, the way his eyes focused and how he spoke. The woman seemed to be the youngest, but still very old. The man who had yet to speak was obviously her husband, he looked at her in a very affectionate way.  
  
"What am I to do today?" She decided to be very submissive. Anything else, and they'd probably tie her to the bed or something.  
  
"Well, you have to eat breakfast. I imagine you're hungry." The woman spoke in a bright and happy voice.  
  
She felt her stomach give her a signal of hunger and nodded at the woman. The man who hadn't spoken yet leapt to his feet and helped her out of bed. He was such a gentleman, she almost giggled. The woman winked at her.  
  
"I'm Lois," he told her and drew a chair of metal, with a cushion, out for her to sit on. "And that's my wife Zara over there." Louis pointed at the woman, "That's Geirmund, he's in charge." Louis pointed out the oldest Vampire. "And he's Rufus." Lois finished and pointed at the Vampire which had first wished her a good morning.  
  
She found herself liking Louis, he was very nice. They didn't seem very harmful. And they'd take very good care of her. She knew that. Geirmund waved his wand and a meal was in front of her in an instant.  
  
"Now that we all know each other's names." Geirmund paused to glare at Louis, who looked slightly abashed. "I'm going to inform you, what will happen in this place, we were sent to take care of you." Geirmund spoke slowly, clearly and very somberly. He came off as a very serious old man. But he didn't look a day older than twenty five. It was very strange.  
  
She began to dig through her food as he explained that she was in their care because they had all been through some sort of medical training and Zara had even been a midwife. She would probably have choked on her food and tried to run for it, if she hadn't already experienced more kindness from them than from any doctor she had ever known. He told her of books she'd have to read, about raising a child and so on, and she knew abortion was not an option. She hadn't been thinking clearly anyway, at the time she had still been in the 'I'm pregnant' shock. And all she had thought of was herself, and how she couldn't handle responsibility well. She wasn't even sure about who the father was. He had some say too, she supposed. Geirmund also told her that she's have to take medicine every day, and they might have to give her some injections too. It was all to insure the baby's health and well being and so on and so forth. And that was exactly how the months passed. She couldn't have been happier. She was allowed to lie in bed and read (reading wasn't her thing exactly, but the other option was doing nothing and dying of boredom, so she didn't really have a choice.) She got the best of food, and the four Vampires took wonderful care of the little thing that was growing inside her and making her fat. Or maybe that was the food... She read about each stage of the pregnancy and she dealt with it. Of course, sometimes she freaked out and started screaming at Louis or someone for no reason... everything was a bit hectic. She and Zara became rather good friends. It helped that Zara seemed to always be in a very happy mood, and no matter how much she screamed at Zara, it didn't matter. Rufus was a very quiet person most of the time, and kept wanting blood samples. This one time she refused to give him a blood sample and he sort of freaked out. She figured it was just because of her influence. Geirmund was the only one who remained completely mysterious. She knew the other three's entire life stories, but Geirmund... it was like she had only just met him. Even after eight months. She didn't know him at all. And it scared her. How could she be locked up with four Vampires and not know anything about one of them, even after eight months!? It should be sort of impossible, shouldn't it?  
  
Finally, nine months had passed and she was as big as a house. She was actually very happy that there were no mirrors in this place. She didn't really feel like wallowing in self pity much more than she did anyway. She often thought about the people at Hogwarts. She hoped they were all kicking themselves for not being kinder to her. She hoped they felt miserable for making her run away. Except she hadn't exactly run away. Lysander had sort of brought her... away. He hadn't kidnapped her though. She had gone with him totally willingly. But maybe she shouldn't have done that? Well, too late now. She had been treated very well after all, so why was she being doubtful. All Lysander wanted, was to ease his guilt or something. Who was she kidding? Lysander didn't feel guilt, did he? Better not think about it.  
  
The days of the final stage of her pregnancy seemed to go extremely slowly. It was torture. She was very happy that she didn't have to move around a lot. Every time she had to walk around at all her ankles hurt so much. And she didn't even want to start whining about her back. Cause if she were to start she never quit. And... ow. Ow... OW!!! Okay, that had to be the contraction thing she'd been reading about. She knew they said it hurt but... that REALLY hurt.  
  
"Zara!" She called desperately. She felt so strange. Zara had told her to expect this after the baby had turned around but... OW!  
  
She screamed as loud as she could, waking the four up from their slumber.  
  
"Triss, what's going on?" Louis asked her at once.  
  
"Hello! Giving birth." She told him, feeling very annoyed with him for some reason. She suddenly didn't want to do this. She wanted the baby to not exist. Stupid... something. This was all someone's who wasn't her fault!!!  
  
Whoever came up with giving birth this way should be brutally murdered. She screamed some very mean things at Louis just because she wanted to. But then she contradicted herself, and then she screamed some more. And Zara was telling her that this wasn't even the worst part. How could this not be the worst part? She felt like crying. She was crying. This was more painful than becoming a bloody Vampire! Her back had never behaved that way before. All the pain she had experienced in her life seemed to be teaming up on her. And that was a lot of pain. She screamed some more. Willing the pain to stop. Finally Rufus gave her a shot or something and it made her back go numb. She felt like kissing him! He was her favorite person in the world. He should get an award. Everything went blurry and she felt too hot. There was still pain, so much pain. Her bones were being forced apart...  
  
"Make it stop!" She cried out desperately to anyone who was listening. He hair was sticking to her face, she was all very sticky and wet. Her nightgown was soaked. And now Zara wanted her to push? She'd push all right. She'd push them all away. She couldn't take it anymore. Why was it taking so long? What was going on... She screamed her head off, forgetting about how to breathe and forgetting everything, but pushing. She had to get that bloody thing out of her. She had to make the pain go away. Why wouldn't the pain go away? She screamed and screamed, she cursed every single male into oblivion and told God himself off. If there was such a thing as God. What sort of god would allow her to go through such pain anyway. A very BAD god, that's what sort of god... She screamed some more and pushed some more and felt a lot more pain. It went on for who knows how long. And she felt so tired. Every nerve in her body felt as if it had felt pain. Horrible pain.  
  
But finally it had stopped. She heard a sob of an infant echo throughout the room. The sound made her happy for some reason. And when the tiny thing was put in her arms, wrapped in a blue blanket she cried again. But this time it wasn't out of pain. It was a feeling unlike anything she had ever felt before. It was amazing. She had made this beautiful little baby. It was entirely hers.  
  
"It's a boy." Those words echoed through her head like thunder. She had made a little baby boy. She stroked his black mop of hair out of the way. He was moist and smelled so strange. But he was her own. And his blue eyes looked at her in wonder, the small thing gave a hiccough and the tiny tongue in his tiny mouth came out and stayed there cutely, between his lips.  
  
"You should feed him. We can measure him later." Zara told her kindly. The four Vampires left the room for the new mother to be alone with the new baby.  
  
It was the strangest feeling. Those little fingers... they were the smallest things she'd ever seen. But surprisingly strong. They grabbed her own little finger as if it were a life line. Soon it fell asleep, breathing ever so softly in her arms. And she felt it had been worth the pain, to get to hold this tiny thing in her arms.  
  
Zara entered the room and took her son away. Holding him gently. She knew Zara was only going to find out how much he weighted and how big he was and things like those. Louis came into the room and gently helped her into the bathroom so she could wash. She felt much too tired to protest or do anything but follow instructions. But she didn't know about the injection Rufus was about to inject into her baby. Or she might not have been that calm. It was a foul shot, which would change everything for her child. But she never did find out. Ever.  
  
The next day, after she and the baby had both rested and recharged their batteries, Zara came to her. She was just holding the baby in her arms. She was looking at the baby and the baby was looking at her. Her son was beautiful. She knew every mother probably thought that. But her son was a very beautiful child. Even if he was a bit red and wrinkly around the edges. She didn't care though. And she adored just smelling him. He had this amazing baby smell. It filled her with warmth just being near him. But Zara interrupted her.  
  
"Have you decided what to name him?" She asked kindly. And set down the tray of food she had been carrying. Zara then picked her son up, he fussed a bit but settled down when Zara put him in his cradle. Zara then picked the tray of food up and set it in front of her. While that happened she had been thinking deeply about the question which Zara had asked. A name? Of course... she needed to name her son something. But what? She honestly hadn't given it any thought.  
  
"I don't know what to name him." She answered Zara's question truthfully.  
  
"Why not Damien?" Zara suggested. She shuddered at Zara's suggestion, even if it did make sense, she didn't want to be reminded of that man every time she looked at her son. Zara noticed her reaction and smiled.  
  
"No? Well, what about the father's name, Severus?" She suggested again. No Severus wouldn't do. The real Severus would kill her. Everyone at Hogwarts would know the child was his, and she wasn't even sure about that.  
  
"I'm not even sure if he's the father." She settled for saying. She didn't want to give too much away to Zara. Even if she did trust the female Vampire quite a bit, she just didn't want to admit to herself that she wanted to spare Severus' feelings.  
  
"What about Louis?" Zara then asked jokingly. She thought about it. Louis Luan. That was rather pretty.  
  
"I think that's a very pretty name for him, Louis Luan. Simple and elegant, don't you think?" She said in a pensive way.  
  
"Yes, that does make sense." Zara agreed. "I think I'm going to go get my Louis and tell him the baby's being named after him." Zara then added with a smile.  
  
"Who says I'm naming my child after him?" She found herself saying, before she could stop herself.  
  
"Well, we can tell him that." Zara winked and left.  
  
She looked at her son. "Louis... do you like that little one?" She asked, feeling silly. The child couldn't possibly have understood that. She was speaking to him as if he were an adult. But she looked into his eyes. Those dark blue eyes which would probably change color soon. He stuck his tongue out at her slightly. She smiled.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes... Louis." She said and smiled at her son. Her little Louis...  
  
The months passed much more quickly now that she had Louis to take care of. Of course, Zara and the others helped her quite a lot. She didn't have to wake up all that much in the middle of the night. Zara was happy to do that for her, as Zara didn't need that much sleep anyway. She was very grateful for all those little things. Especially the fact that she had her original figure back. And soon she found herself gasping at Louis' first smile. His first teeth. At his first crawl, at his first word ('mama') And all too soon it was his birthday again. It was the 12th of May. The sun was shining and Louis was happy. That meant she was happy as well. Everything was just bloody wonderful. It was disgusting how blissful she had been for a year and more. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind. This is not right. Why hasn't something bad happened yet? She kept asking herself. Where was the bloody catch? Life wasn't supposed to be this easy. And now Zara had just informed her that she would be going back to Hogwarts the very next day. It was all just too strange. Nothing bad had happened at all, and now she was being allowed to go back to Hogwarts. She would be able to show Severus his child. If it was indeed his child. She still wasn't sure. What would he say? What would he do? What would Albus do? She had too many questions, and no one to answer them for her. She went to bed feeling troubled. Louis was sleeping in his cradle beside her bed. And it reassured her for some reason. Her sweet Louis. He had the softest black hair, and his eyes were now gray, like her own. And she loved him more than she had loved anything else. It was so cheesy, but it was true. This boy, this little human being was something she had made. She was still in awe of that fact. She calmed herself down as well as she could and finally sank into a light slumber.  
  
She woke up to Louis' giggles. He was standing in his cradle, supporting himself on the edge of the metal thing. If he were to let go he'd fall backwards right away. She knew that. So she got up and got dressed, picked Louis up (earning more giggles) and dressed him too after changing his diaper. She couldn't stop thinking about Hogwarts, and how she would be there soon. Even sooner than she thought.  
  
"Lysander!" She said, startled by the image of the Vampire, sitting on the sofa. He was early. Well, maybe that was good. Now she could got to Hogwarts right away. But did she really want to? It was very nice here... yes, she wanted to go to Hogwarts. She was still afraid of some sort of catch appearing out of nowhere.  
  
"Triss! You are awake at last." Lysander smiled wolfishly after exclaiming those words. She felt a shudder travel it's way through her limbs. Louis started fussing a bit, but she held him close to her and whispered that it was okay.  
  
"mama... mama..." Louis mumbled happily. She smiled at him and looked at Lysander feeling protected.  
  
"So, are you two ready to go back to Hogwarts?" Lysander asked kindly. She didn't trust herself to answer, and just nodded. She wanted to get away from this place. She had sort of had enough of medicine and pills and shots and watching them take Louis to make him do tests and so on and so forth.  
  
Lysander was already making a sphere around her and Louis and soon she was floating lazily outside. Then, without any warning, she was standing in the Entrance Hall at Hogwarts.  
  
  
  
Author note: There you go. It's now May in the end of Harry's seventh year, Severus is thirty-seven and Christine is twenty-five. Thought you might want to know. 


	25. chapter twenty-five

Disclaimer: I don't own Hogwarts or anything else out of the HP universe. If you spot anything else in this chapter which is borrowed, I'd like to say here that it is, indeed, not mine at all.  
  
Damien  
  
by Sarah Black  
  
chapter twenty-five  
  
A clamor of voices could be heard from the Great Hall, everyone was having breakfast she supposed. She wasn't very hungry, so she decided to go to her room. She was a bit lost at first, it had been a while since she had walked these corridors, but she found her way to her room at last. Although, by that time, her arms were aching with the strain of holding Louis up. He was one year old now, and not a small as he had been when she first gave birth to him. Her room was unlocked and she was a bit surprised to see that none of her things were in there. They must think I'm dead. She thought to herself. They'll be ever so surprised when they see her... with a child. Her Louis. She put him down on her former bed and looked him over. He had managed not to drool all over himself. And he had one of those plastic chewy things in his mouth... what had Zara called them again? She wasn't sure if Louis was Severus's too, but she suspected it strongly. Well, she'd know for sure if he showed any signs of magical talent. Now, most importantly, where were all of her things? How terribly rude to just move them somewhere else! Or maybe they had destroyed them? Some sort of silly wizard thing. Girl dies, destroy her stuff. She hoped not. Her favorite dress had been here. And she had been dying to try it on and see if it still fit her. She was a tad resentful towards Louis, still, for he had ruined her figure. It was completely unfair. She had to have her body destroyed, go through an unbelievable amount of pain, and now her stuff was all gone too? And she was stuck with a drooling baby. Well, it was her baby boy. And of course she loved him. But was he really worth losing everything that ever meant anything to her? She sighed and sat down on the bed and prevented Louis from stupidly crawling off the edge. Honestly, did he never think? Had she ever been like that? She found herself wishing Zara was here to watch Louis while she did other things. Like take a shower. Or something. The bell rang, signaling the beginning of the first class. What day was it? Oh, it wouldn't matter anyway, Severus would most likely have a different teaching schedule now, so even if he had been on a break at this time on this day last year, he wouldn't now. And she was tied to Louis. She felt like such a prisoner. She would have to devote everything to this boy. Her whole life. She felt her heart start to beat a little faster. She would be a prisoner. She wished fervently that she had killed him, killed him while he was still inside her. Her father's voice suddenly echoed through her mind. You can't change happened things. How annoyed she had gotten every time he told her that.  
  
Finally, after about ten minutes of being idle, she gave up and went to wait in Severus's office. She had to find answers, and if they all though she was dead, Severus would probably handle it best if she returned. She didn't really want to be the one responsible for Albus's heart attack. But maybe she should go see Minerva, she doubted anyone would be sad if she had a heart attack. But she really wanted to see Severus. And he had a right to be the first person at Hogwarts to see Louis. If he was indeed Lois' father. How this not knowing was annoying. Maybe she could get Severus to take one of those DMA tests... or was it DNA? She could never remember properly. She didn't even know what it stood for so that didn't make it any easier. It might be Dangerous Mammal is Angry or Dweeb Nostril Alert or something... She set Louis down on Severus' desk and but herself in one of the two chairs situated in front of the desk. Louis giggled insanely and tried to attack his own nose.  
  
"Quit it Louis." She reprimanded him sharply. The boy thrust his tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes at him.  
  
"If that's how you're going to get yourself on dates when you grow up, I don't know you. All right?" She spoke distractedly, her full attention averted to the glass jars all around. Disgusting potion ingredients floating around aimlessly. How could Severus work here? Her mind would keep wondering over to these horrid jars all the time. Like it was now. Louis gave a loud squeal and she could here that he was about to fall of the desk. She caught him safely in her arms. He giggled and reached out his hand for her necklace. She allowed his small fingers to fiddle with the small piece of jewelry and begged Severus in her mind to come soon. Her wish was granted not too long after when the bell rang, signaling a small break. It couldn't have been a double class then...  
  
The door opened and Severus strode in, he was carrying a pile of parchment in his arms. Probably homework due today. When he had finished closing the door behind him, he looked up and realized her. He stared for a good moment. Then he dropped the pile of homework.  
  
"Christine?" He blinked several times and didn't seem to believe his own eyes. "But, but, you died!" He exclaimed, amazement in his voice.  
  
"Who told you that?" She asked curiously. But Severus wasn't listening. He was staring at Louis, who was back on Severus' desk.  
  
"Who, what, how, when?" He asked staring at Louis, then at her. He managed to sit down at his desk, his face was ashen.  
  
"I asked you first." She simply said, feeling quite happy to be in control of the conversation... for once in her life. The last time had been... oh lets see, when she was fifteen.  
  
"Albus. He, said that your room was deserted and the window was open, he thought you must have jumped." Severus seemed to be gaining some of his composure back. He sat up straight in his chair and stopped staring at her like she was a ghost... except that saying didn't work with wizards. They were sort of used to ghosts. Maybe like she had just returned from the dead? Well, to him that was exactly what she had done. Oh, never mind...  
  
"What is the boy doing here?" Severus questioned, his own self once again. He looked even more irritated than usual. Well, maybe she'd still be able to shock him...  
  
"He came with me to see his father." She told him coolly, he stared at her, and then at Louis. Then he stared at her again.  
  
"What?" He finally exclaimed. He looked a bit uncomfortable, but not many would have been able to spot that.  
  
"You heard me." She told him calmly. Hmm, Geirmund had had his uses after all. She was a bit calmer then she had been before. How nice. She resisted the urge to giggle. Okay, so maybe this was a once in a life time coolness. She had better enjoy it then.  
  
"You mean to say, that boy, is mine?" Severus asked coldly. His voice sent shivers down her spine and she felt her skin prickle. She held Louis close to her and felt the controls of the conversation slip from her hands.  
  
"I think so. I'm not sure though. But do you remember, I was in your room. And neither of us remembered what we were doing there. Or, at least I didn't, where we slept." She felt her heart rate speed up again. She hoped she wouldn't die because of high blood pressure...  
  
"Yes, I remember." Severus admitted snappishly.  
  
"You behaved like a complete jerk after that." She found herself saying before she thought about it. Severus looked livid for a moment. But he looked at Louis and seemed to calm down a bit.  
  
"Don't call me names. You can't afford it." He spat, after seemingly a very long time.  
  
"Oh, can't I?" She answered back, she was shivering on the inside, but trying to put on a brave face, most likely failing, judging by the sneer on Severus' face. She wished she had a morsel of bravery in her bones. She couldn't even argue with people anymore. How she despised Damien for making her so meek. If she were sixteen right now, Severus wouldn't be dominating her like this...  
  
"Christine. What happened. Can you tell me that?" Severus obviously didn't want to fight with her in front of Louis. So the boy had his uses after all.  
  
"Lysander came to my room. He didn't harm me or anything. On the contrary, he just wanted to take care of me and Louis. I'm quite all right. I've been living like a princess with four servants for nearly two years now." She allowed herself a smirk. Severus looked very doubtful.  
  
"There has to be a catch." He said finally. She had been thinking the very same thing, nearly constantly. But she hadn't found a trace of any such thing so she felt confident enough to tell Severus that there was indeed, no catch.  
  
How wrong she was... she'd know only when it was too late.  
  
Severus had to go teach within a moment, but he told her to wait in his office.  
  
"Under no circumstances are you to open that door. Understand?" He ordered harshly. She nodded her consent and Severus left with much flurry of his robes.  
  
"I suppose we wait then." She told Louis. He mumbled something and yawned cutely. Everything about that boy was disgustingly cute. How come babies had to be like that? She held Louis close to her and her son fell into a slumber within minutes. She stroked his mop of raven black hair absentmindedly. She wondered if he would grow up to be like Severus. To quote one of the students: 'A greasy git.' She hoped not. She'd just have to teach Louis the value of clean and tidiness or something... but if Louis started brewing potions, she supposed it couldn't be helped. She listened hard and found herself hearing Severus' voice, he was lecturing about some potion or other.  
  
"You have your NEWTs this spring, as you are all, no doubt, aware of. We have revised a large variety of the things I have tried to stuff into your skulls this winter. I hope you are up to keeping the information in there until the potion tests are over. If not, you'll fail. It's that simple. But now I am going to start teaching you the final potion you will learn at Hogwarts. I suggest you pay attention... Potter, Weasley. What did I just say?" She strained to hear the answer, but couldn't.  
  
"No, I was not talking about the weather you insolent boy. Fifteen points form Gryffindor! Now. As I was saying..." She gave up listening and shook her head. It was odd, when she had been at school herself she hadn't given the teachers a second though. Except of course Mr. Johnson, the P.E. Teacher. He had kept hitting on her. At the time it had been hysterically funny to her. Anyway, she hadn't thought of what the teachers went through. All she had thought about was exposing enough cleavage as she could to the male teachers so her grades would go up a notch or two and trying to look as though she was reading the assigned book, but not a teen magazine in classes where female teachers ruled the room. Well, now she knew better. Oh well, at least she always had top marks in P.E....  
  
Finally the bell rang and she knew lunch was ready in the Great Hall. She felt her stomach rumble and Louis stirred awake. Severus opened the office door soon enough and sat down at his desk. Then he whipped out his wand and said a few Latin words, two plates and two goblets appeared in front of her very eyes. She held back a gasp. She had nearly forgotten how amazing magic could be at times.  
  
"What about Louis?" She asked, realizing that this food was hardly fit for her son.  
  
"What do you need?" Severus asked, his voice sounded irritated. She asked him for a banana a fork and a plate. Another wave of his wand and the items she had asked for lay in front of her on the table. She proceeded to peel the banana lose on to the plate, then she used to fork to turn into mush she could easily feed to Louis. She had seen Zara do this a few times, and Louis seemed to enjoy it. After she had fed Louis happy, she started picking at her own food. Once the three were all fed and happy (with the exception of the two adults, who were most likely never very happy) she put Louis down on the floor so he could crawl around and (hopefully) annoy Severus.  
  
Suddenly, just after Severus had made the plates and goblets disappear there was a timid knock at the door. Severus stood up and opened a small crack to see who was there.  
  
"Granger?" He spat irritably. She sensed trouble and put Louis under Severus' desk, hopefully, if the girl came inside, she wouldn't notice him.  
  
"Excuse me Professor. But I've been to the library, I was trying to research that new project we started in class, but one of the books I want to read is in the Restricted section, and Madam Pince says that you're the only one who's allowed to permit students to read it. So I was wondering..." Granger spoke so fast that Severus was hardly able to get in a word, but he cut her off there.  
  
"No. That book is in the restricted section for a good reason Miss Granger. You can research the books I named in class just like everyone else. Good day." He spoke so sharply that she nearly expected the girl to cry out and start bleeding or something.  
  
"But you don't understand, I really need to read that book. I'm sure it will help me understand the theory so much better..." Severus cut her off again.  
  
"I know why you want it Miss Granger. You want it for some illegal potion you need to brew to help Potter break yet another rule. I'm not Lockhart, I'm not that easy to fool. I happen to know for a fact, that all the information on this particular potion in that particular book, is also in another book, which I named in class. Now get to your common room and quit pestering me." She wondered why the girl hadn't run away yet. Well, the girl was in Gryffindor, and those people had enough of foolish bravery to go around.  
  
"I knew I wouldn't be able to fool you anyway. But, unless you want me to tell the whole school about that woman you've got in your office, I suggest you give me permission. Now." There was a tense silence.  
  
"Miss Granger. Why don't you come inside." Severus' voice was cold. Even when it wasn't directed at her, it made her shiver.  
  
"Thank you Professor." The girl said victoriously. She stared at one of the jars, it seemed to be a frog turned inside out which was in there.  
  
"Miss Granger, I trust you recall Miss Luan." Severus said cuttingly and sat down yet again, behind his desk.  
  
"How do you do?" Miss Granger held out a hand for her to take, she just looked at it. Then she looked at Severus.  
  
"Be polite Christine." He snapped and started looking for something in his desk drawers. She followed Severus' orders and took Granger's extended hand.  
  
"Hello." She said as she let go of the girl's hand.  
  
"Miss Granger, do you know how much trouble I could get you in for trying to blackmail a teacher?" Severus asked coolly.  
  
"I am aware." Granger answered, a completely straight face. God she envied that girl. If she had even 1/100 of Granger's character in her she'd probably be a lot braver.  
  
"I'll tell you what Miss Granger. I'll give you permission to get that book, if you answer one question for me." Severus had a sinister smirk on his face. She didn't know what Granger had coming, but it was going to be very twisted.  
  
"All right." Granger seemed to be losing her resolve, but seemed confident none the less that she'd be able to answer any question her asked her correctly.  
  
"When the sorting hat offered you Slytherin, what did you say in return?" He asked calmly, and very seriously.  
  
"I said I'd rather be in Hufflepuff." Granger answered, looking baffled. She realized the girls mistake a second before Granger did. She had admitted that the hat had offered her Slytherin house.  
  
"I mean, I didn't... the hat didn't say... oops." Granger blushed and started to fiddle with the edge of her robe.  
  
"You would have made a fine Slytherin." Severus said and handed her a piece of parchment. "Now, if I catch you, using any of the recipes in that book, by Merlin you will find yourself expelled and banished to the Muggle world. Same goes if I find any of your minions with that book. And I will be watching you. Know that." Granger nodded once and left, fighting hard to suppress a smile.  
  
She raised an eyebrow at Severus. "Minions?" She repeated.  
  
"Weasley and Potter." Severus muttered. "They'd be lost without that girl." He smirked. "I always did wonder if she had any Slytherin in her."  
  
Louis, who had been absolutely quiet while the girl was in the office, giggled softly, mirroring her emotion. She figured it was safe to smile, so she did, and she figured it was safe for Louis to be off the floor, so she picked him up.  
  
Severus looked at the boy and rubbed his left for arm.  
  
"What will become of him?" He asked, she knew the question wasn't directed towards her, so she kept quiet.  
  
"What indeed." He muttered and kept searching through his drawers.  
  
"Ah! Here it is." He lifted a necklace up. It was the necklace he gave her for a Christmas present, her first year at Hogwarts. It seemed like that was ages ago.  
  
"I think you still need it." He told her calmly. She took the necklace she was wearing already off, and allowed Severus to put her old one on. It's familiar texture against her skin comforted her and she felt a strange feeling of dread fill her.  
  
"What do you feel?" Severus asked studiously.  
  
"I feel... dread, it's such a morbid sensation. Like after your place burns down. You're somewhere else and you suddenly remember that you left on a candle..." She spoke quietly and felt the sensation float away, like the tide. But she had a feeling it would return. Like the tide.  
  
Severus was absently rubbing his arm. Looking at Louis again.  
  
"What did you say his name was?" He asked suddenly.  
  
"Louis." She answered softly. "I thought it was fitting. Louis Luan. It sounds pretty don't you think. I bit French." She felt that if she spoke in another tone, the spell of the moment would shatter. So her words were spoken carefully, softly.  
  
"Christine, I must tell you what's been happening in the magical community." His voice was the one to make the moment shatter, and she didn't know if she was angry at him, or glad that he did it and not her. This necklace was making her see things she hadn't seen before. Like moments... they hung in the air, nearly visible, but somehow, out of reach. Louis mumbled something incoherent.  
  
"The Dark Lord has gained much power. Draco Malfoy is our only useful spy, there is a lot of pressure on him, I still don't know how to trust him completely, I was discovered this summer, I only just got away with my life. I can't step off these grounds without endangering my life, not to mention the whole Order. If the Death Eaters get me, they'll most likely be able to discover where Draco Malfoy's loyalties lie, and we'll lose out most valuable spy." Severus took a deep breath. "Draco is away right now. And I'm expecting him to come back soon, hopefully with news. He didn't come to class, usually The Dark Lord is careful to summon the Death Eaters, when it isn't suspicious. So, I think I am right to assume that this is a matter of great importance." Severus was quiet for a while. The only sound that broke the silence was Louis occasional fussing and giggling. With her necklace in place she felt like she could almost reach out and touch the silence. The strange thing was. She couldn't remember feeling this way before, when she first got the necklace. Well, maybe she had, but she had been so deeply involved in herself that she hadn't taken the time to realize the air around her.  
  
"You've come back in dangerous times, Christine." Severus finally sighed.  
  
"I suppose I have." She answered. That morbid feeling returned to her and she shivered involuntarily.  
  
"I suppose I have." She repeated more to herself than to anyone else. Louis gave a small giggle, which quickly turned into a whine of complaint.  
  
Author note: Here's another chapter at last. Who would have thought? I actually write more when school is on. I guess it has some bad consequences that my soccer obsessed father and brother are also on Easter holidays. They do insist on taking the computer away from me... well, no more excuses. Thanks go to Mephisto my alpha reader, and all my wonderful reviewers. Specially Kelly, (Jocelyn Magus) you keep me writing! 


	26. chapter twenty-six

**Disclaimer: First of all, me no own Harry Potter, his friends, his school, nor anything else from his universe. Second of all, I don't own Austin Powers. A cookie to those who can tell me when in the movie that happened!**

Damien 

_by Sarah Black_

Chapter twenty-six 

"I think you should go see Albus. He'll want to speak to you." Severus muttered after a pause. She nodded slowly, but then remembered that the old man thought she was dead.

"But, he thinks I'm dead. I don't want to give him a heart attack." She told him her thoughts. It might have been the dim lighting in the place, but she thought she saw a small smile creep onto Severus' features. 

"Yes, and that boy won't help it. Maybe I should keep him here..." Severus cut himself off and busied himself looking through his desk drawers again. 

"I suppose I can contact him by Floo, to... er, soften the blow." He pulled a yellowish envelope out of one of the drawers and placed it on the empty stone grate, where a fire was probably meant to be.

"I think I will leave Louis here." She said, after thinking about it. She hoped Severus would be able to handle the boy, but then, didn't he have class? Wasn't lunch over by now?

As if Severus had read her mind he answered before she could ask.

"I have the afternoon off, there are less students in the castle. No Muggle-borns were allowed in here this year, and some parents have pulled their children out, thinking it isn't safe here any more." Severus told her distractedly, as he lit a fire in the grate, using his wand. 

"Oh." was all she could think of saying. Well, things had certainly changed while she was away. She put Louis down on the desk yet again and started to fiddle with her old necklace. Maybe it was just in her head, but it seemed to give of a warm radiance. It was very comforting. And although she was very disappointed in Severus' reaction to Louis, she couldn't help but being thankful towards him. And maybe Severus _had reacted very strongly to Louis; maybe he just hadn't shown it. Severus didn't show everything on his face. But she found that she wished he did. She wanted to know, was he proud to have a son, and was he happy? Or maybe sad... or maybe he didn't believe her at all. _

She watched as Severus used some Floo powder from the envelope to contact the headmaster. She hadn't seen fire turn such a lovely shade of green before, and if she had, she had forgotten now. She made sure Dumbledore's head wouldn't be able to see her, as it sat in the fireplace, like a great big egg. 

"Albus, I have rather shocking news." Severus spoke urgently, but very seriously. His expression didn't change, though. She wondered how he did it; she had never had any control over the expressions that entered her face, except maybe what sort of smile to smile. But if she was excited, it usually showed up on her face. It was the same with most other emotions. She let out a soft sigh.

"Well, what is it, Severus?" Albus asked patiently.

"I've discovered something about Christine." Severus answered, the same stony expression on his features. Louis seemed to realize that it was important for him to shut up. And he was currently sitting in her lap, resting his head on her. His gray eyes were filled with a curious wonder, and it looked like he understood what was going on. But of course he didn't. He was only a child after all. And children didn't understand anything that went on in the world. They were stupid. Had yet to learn… However you preferred to put it, it always came down to the fact that children didn't know anything. Such oblivion... she envied it, and pitied it, both at the same time.

"Severus, Christine is dead. I've told you before, and I won't hesitate to tell you again..." Severus cut Albus off saying, "Christine is here, in my office." There was complete silence. Nothing was heard except the crackling of the fire and breathing noises. 

"What?" Albus finally asked. The tension she had felt in the air seemed to reside, and it comforted her to have Louis in her arms.

"You heard me Albus, I'm going to bring her to your office. She can tell you what happened in person." Severus was so business-like. She could see no feeling in his eyes, and it scared her a little. She wished she knew how he felt. _How would you feel if a girl just walked into your office and claimed you were a parent? A voice in her head asked her. She closed her eyes, and tried to imagine what it would be like, but she had no luck. She always came back to the same conclusion. Severus should have been surprised and happy. That's how normal people would react. Right? She didn't know. Of course, she didn't know anything._

"What are you waiting for? Bring her here, bring her here." Albus's face had lightened up. He seemed so much happier now, when she thought about it. He had looked so old before. And even now, he looked like he was sad. But maybe he had changed. Around two years ago sad had been what happy was now. She suddenly realized the impact no Muggle-born students had on the school. It made the headmaster sad.

"Christine, just step through the fire and you'll be in his office." Severus spoke to her. He was so calm. Too calm. Almost as if he was bottling what he really wanted to do, or say inside. But wasn't that what he always did? She looked at his hardened face and saw how hopeless he felt. He didn't have any hope. That was bad, right? She wondered what he could possibly have hoped for. He didn't seem the type to hope. Was she only noticing all this now because of the necklace? How strange.

She stepped through the flames, as Severus had directed her. And met the old, very old, figure of Albus Dumbledore. She had left Louis behind. 

"Hi." She said and smiled impishly at him. He just stared at her sternly. 

"You left again." He simply informed her, as if she didn't know. Tuh.

"Duh." Well, you know, servants and living in a nice cozy cottage... it has a certain… I don't know. What's that word you use to describe something...? Oh yes! Appeal. Yay." She knew she was just rambling aimlessly, but she felt sort of nervous... so that justified it. Right? Um...

"Christine. Please tell me what happened." Albus asked her patiently. Oh sure, he thought he could just tell her what to do.

"Well, Lysander came, and he said some nice things, and I decided that I wanted to go to a cottage and… er, hey! Why should I tell you this?" She paused and looked at Albus doubtfully. "So, anyway, I had servants. Did I mention I had servants?" She mumbled and smiled hopefully.

"Yes." Albus told her and very nearly rolled his eyes. Or maybe that was her imagination. 

"I want detail. Don't lie, please." Albus was behaving a lot different. Like... an adult almost. She rolled her eyes at herself. She was far too used to Albus acting like a five-year-old than was healthy. 

So she told Albus what she had told Severus, she didn't leave out the part where Louis existed either. She was totally proud of herself. 

"I see. And your son, Louis, he's with Severus now?" Albus asked, his eyes were shining again, but it also seemed a new burden had been placed on his shoulders. 

"Yes." She admitted, and held back a smile, but failed. And a small giggle escaped her.

"What amuses you so?" Albus asked, and his eyes sparkled, with what she hoped was mirth.

"I dunno." _She said angrily. Joking! She said it happily. No, she said it normally. There's no such thing as normally… she told her voices to shut up and looked at Albus very innocently._

"Ah." Albus sighed understandingly and nodded to himself. "Why don't we go see how Severus is doing?" He then suggested with a wink.

"Okay." She agreed in an airy fashion. 

They stepped into Severus' office (using Floo) and found her baby sitting on his desk quietly and Severus nowhere in sight. 

"Severus?" Albus inquired the thin air. She looked at him as if _he_ were insane and shook her head. 

"I'm in here." Came a muffled voice. 

"Where?" She called, beating the headmaster to it.

"In the closet." There was a strange pause.

"What?!?"

"Why?!?" She and the headmaster said at the same time. 

"That's complicated." Severus told them solemnly. A sneaky suspicion sneaked up on her.

"Who are you and what do you want?" She asked the closet accusingly. 

"Christine, that's the wrong closet." The headmaster informed her. Wanting to save her face she looked over her shoulder looking as irritated as she could muster and said, "The other closet will have its turn, now stop interrupting me!" She realized that just sounded silly, so she sat down and smiled at Louis who giggled. She felt like giggling too. 

"Right…" The headmaster said and opened the closet Severus was in.

"Thank you Albus." Severus said and started brushing invisible dust off his shoulder. 

"Now, to quote Christine over there: Who are you, and what do you want?" He asked Severus. 

"Um, I, er... sorry." 

"Mr. Weasley?" Albus said in disbelief. Severus smiled impishly, which looked very wrong on his face, and nodded.

"Where's Harry?" Albus asked. Now Severus scowled, which looked more normal, and accused them of something she didn't really understand, he spoke very quietly… in a mutter, almost.

"He's in the Gryffindor common room?" Albus guessed. Severus rolled his eyes and started to turn red. 

"Severus, you're turning red!" She gasped.

"Christine. I thought we discovered that this is Mr. Weasley, not Severus." Albus said and looked at her like he was confused.

"Well, that's what he thinks." She answered, not really understanding what was going on. Of course Severus was Severus! She looked at Severus, he didn't look much like himself anymore. He had changed into Ron Weasley!

She let out a small, upset sounding noise.

"Severus! You've changed into Ron Weasley!" She informed the rest of the room. 

"No, it's the other way around, Christine." Albus told her and sighed tiredly.

"Why would Weasley want to be like Severus?" She asked feeling very confused.

"That's what I asked Hermione." Weasley muttered bitterly.

"What are you doing here?" Albus asked, dropping all pretenses in his curiosity. Or maybe he just wanted to take a nap, whichever came first.

"I, er, Hermione's trying to find this bug. And she thought she saw one in this office, so she wanted me to go get it, and I thought it would hide in the closet, and I got locked in the closet. And there was a spider." The boy rambled incoherently. 

"A bug?" Albus asked, making it sound as if the boy was mad. Sure, he could talk.

"Um, yes." The boy was rapidly turning the color of a tomato that had bled all over itself.

"Where is Professor Snape?" Albus asked after a few tense seconds.

"He's just outside this door. He has no wand so I guess he didn't know what to do." Weasley shrugged and sniffed his finger. 

Albus walked over to the door and opened it. Severus stood there, seemingly frozen in time. 

"Oh yeah, Hermione did that." Weasley muttered hurriedly.

"Was Harry in on this at all?" Albus asked, an amused glint in his eye.

"No, Hermione is collecting bugs." Weasley nodded along with that statement as if it were the holy truth. She found that hard to believe but wondered why Weasley hadn't noticed Louis sitting there in plain view.

"By the way, why is there a baby?" Weasley asked. 

_Oh._

"Christine, would you like to explain about babies?" Albus asked with a small smile.

"Um, sure. You see, when two people fall in love, they sometimes…" She was cut off by a repulsed expression and some words she didn't catch, but they sounded something like: "I know where babies come from." Or maybe it was "I know potatoes personally," whichever suits your fancy. Anyway, it cut her off.

"Where did _that baby come from?" Weasley asked looking very reddish._

"Oh, you mean Louis? He's my second nephew from Somalia." She told him with a straight face. Why did she say Somalia? She had never even been to the state of Australia that was closest to Kansas, let alone Somalia!

"Somalia?" Weasley stared at Louis and then at her. "It doesn't look African to me." Weasley muttered.

"That's because Kansas was where he is born to animals." She closed her eyes and tried again. "He was born in Texas... I mean Kansas! Er, and, and his parents drove him to Somalia with a ship. Kansas and Somalia are separated with a river. You see, my grandfather, he got married again and had a son, who had a daughter, and she got married to my friend. So they had Louis and that's why he's my aunt. I mean uncle!" Okay, she had no idea what she just said. Better hope it made sense...

She looked up and saw the answer to her non-existing question written all over Albus and Weasley's faces. _What the fu**?_

"Sorry?" She asked. They shook their heads, obviously deciding she was on her own. 

"Well, I better take this charm off Severus." Albus broke the silence and took out his wand and said something in Ancient Egypt or something (she didn't know languages much) and Severus could move again. 

He blinked a few times and looked around. When he spotted Weasley, his expression went from confused, to livid.

"Weasley!" He hissed. Oh boy, she definitely didn't want to be in Weasley's shoes; they were both ugly and probably too big for her anyway. Louis had been pretty quiet through this whole exchange, which was pretty odd, giving that he was just a baby. She knew she was a bit crazy, so maybe it was just that... anyway it was as if Louis sensed when to be quiet. Like before, when Granger was asking for that book. Hey, maybe she was trying to make some potion, which required a bug collection! While she thought of all that, Severus had been _talking to__ Weasley and Albus. More like scolding. Ha, ha._

Louis smiled at her feebly and snuggled close to her. "Mama..." He mumbled. Weasley didn't fail to notice that. Neither did the other three… two men. Albus smiled, and the twinkle in his eyes seemed to grow even brighter.

Severus looked at her with one eyebrow threatening to raise itself.  Weasley looked rather confused.

"But, I thought he was your nephew/aunt/uncle from Somalia, born in Kansas." He rolled his eyes, and smirked in a way Draco Malfoy might have been proud of. She had no idea what that boy took pride in of course. Maybe he took pride in his shoes... or maybe... well that wasn't exactly the point, now was it?

"He doesn't know any other words." She explained flatly. Actually, she was pretty sure he _did know other words. But they didn't need to know that just yet._

"Right..." Weasley said and nodded at her like she were five and had just stated there was a monster in her closet.

She smiled sunnily at the four... three men and stood up. "Well, I'm really tired, and Louis is too, so we're going to retire to some room that has bed sheets." She told them sweetly and started out of the room.

"Christine, I never managed to tell you how glad I am to see you alive and well." Albus suddenly told her, as if he had only just realized he knew how to talk.

"Well, I'm glad to be back." She told him with a smile that wasn't really a smile; for her eyes weren't in it. She knew Albus noticed, but she didn't feel like caring at the moment.

Severus walked up to her and whispered in her ear, _"Go to my room, I want to speak to you in private."  She nodded and smiled as she had smiled at Albus, except now she also smiled with her eyes. So that would mean that it wasn't like the smile she had smiled at Albus, which would mean… __Oh no, I've gone cross-eyed. She thought to herself, remembering Austin Powers 2._

She took Louis and walked away. Simple as that. And soon she lost herself, and then found herself in Severus' room. She remembered the last time she had been here. In the morning, wearing nothing but one of Severus' shirts, the morning after the night where Louis was most likely conceived. It was strangely familiar, but somehow new. She put Louis down on the floor and he proceeded to crawl around after her, exploring the place as she was. 

Not too long after Severus wandered inside, looking lost in thought, a pretty angry thought too.

"How many?" She asked, indicating detentions he had given the Weasley boy, and the Granger-probably-to-be-Weasley girl, well judging by how good the were getting along last time she saw them. She giggled.  

"Just one." He said, and a sinister smirk started traveling over his lips. She had the weirdest urge to kiss him. She shook her head and smirked as well.

"But it will last three weeks." He finished, looking less angry than before. "I wanted to give them two months, but after two months, it'll be July, and they'll have graduated by then, the little brats." He muttered grumpily. 

"Not to worry. You'll make them do something dull. I can feel it."  She told him sarcastically. She didn't know exactly what, or why she was talking, as she had woken up feeling insane, so she decided to just do whatever came to mind, and hope there would be no permanent damage. 

"You know, I've been thinking. Quite a bit actually. And I've come to the conclusion that you are insane, and that I am angry at you." Severus told her calmly, sending a pair of shivers down her spine. His eyes, those tunnel like black eyes, seemed to be pulling her inside, and she wasn't sure she could fight them off.

"I'm insane." She hummed in a trancelike way. It was completely strange.

"Actually, you just behave like you are most the time. And the other part of the day goes into being as scared as a small rabbit." He told her and rolled his eyes. She felt too tired to do anything but say 'Humm rabbit...' in the same trancelike tone.

"Stop behaving like a zombie." He snapped. She felt a headache begin to pound at her brain and she wished she could stop irritating him. Couldn't he just do like in the movies…? Pledge his undying love to her or something. Or kill her and put her out of her misery. Whatever. Play a guitar even.

"Stop being mean to me." She glared at him childishly and pouted. He shook his head and the corner of his lip twisted distractedly.

"I'm not mean to you Christine." He told her quietly, staring into space. His eyelids sank down, and covered his eyes from view. "I'm so tired. I'm not working half as much as I used to, but I'm so tired. I think I'm functioning on coffee... wait, no, I don't drink coffee. I think it's some violation of nature that I'm still alive." He seemed to be talking to himself, so she didn't respond. She went to the sofa where he was sitting and curled up beside him. "Get away from me. Take care of the little... Louis." He told her sternly. She felt the obedient part of her get up and do as she was told, and the rest of her followed, as the obedient part of her was indeed the dominant one as well. But when she had picked Louis up, she realized she didn't know what to do with him. 

"What time is it?" She asked herself quietly. She looked at her watch and realized in surprise that not only had she missed dinner, but it was way past Louis' bedtime. Severus had seemingly read her thoughts, as he pointed his wand at a small wooden table and muttered something. The table turned into a makeshift small bed. It wasn't exactly a cradle, but the edges were high enough to prevent Louis from rolling off, and she soon learned, (Severus explained it reluctantly with his eyes closed.) that there were spells that prevented the boy from standing up and jumping out or something. A few pillows and a blanket later, it was fine for Louis to sleep in.

When she had fed Louis, watered, brushed the teeth and told a story, Louis was sleeping soundly. She collapsed on Severus' side. She knew he wasn't sleeping, for his mouth was stuck in his horrid sneer.

"What did I do wrong?" She asked, feeling a bit annoyed. She had been taking care of Louis, a little... well, more than he had! So who was he to judge?

"A Muggle fairy tale?" He asked and opened his eyes, mocking cold eyes. 

"Snow White, it was my favorite." She told him, feeling a bit embarrassed to me telling him that.

"The witch was evil, do you want Louis to grow up thinking everything magical is bad?" He asked, seeming somewhat insulted.

"There are plenty of tales where magic is good. And you could tell him some wizard fairy tales or something."  She suggested and pulled her legs up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them.

"I just wanted to thank you for one thing." Severus said after glaring at her for a while, for absolutely no reason.

"What?" She asked, while wondering what she had done to deserve thanks from him.

"When I told you I was a Death Eater, you didn't point at me and call me a murderer, or start screaming. That has never happened before; even Albus reacted harshly. But you, you didn't even seem to care at all." She wondered if he knew he was actually saying this to her. Probably not. He was probably half asleep and not responsible for what his subconscious mind said. She decided to keep the warm feeling, despite that, and never tell him about what he said. And maybe she should tell him that she was a Muggle, and therefore didn't know a thing about Death Eaters and how they were bad. Well she had known they were bad, a name like 'Death Eaters' would give the fact away, but it was Severus... he was special. She smiled as she noticed 'Severus the special' had drifted off to sleep. How cute. She giggled and decided she could sleep on the bed as the sofa was taken. If he woke up in the middle of the night, he could just push her off or something. 

**Author Note: Sorry about how long this took, and no, this is not the last chapter. But I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be the last. I just had to give away to the humorous side of myself and indulge myself. :)******

**Thanks to Mephisto, my wonderful alpha reader, friend and partner in crime. Ha, ha...**


	27. chapter twenty-seven

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from the Harry Potter books, JKR does, and if she doesn't publish the fifth book soon I'll go mad. Anyway, if you spot anything else in there which isn't mine, then I officially disclaim it here.******

**Damien**

_by Sarah Black_

**Chapter twenty-seven. **

It was nearly the end of the year, and neither she nor Severus had mentioned the night of the day she returned. She was pretty sure Severus had been talking in his sleep when he said... what he said. Hermione and Ron hadn't gotten into much trouble... only lost fifty points each. She didn't get how the point system continued to work well. Why did the kids care? Were they going to use the fact that they won the House cup in third year in the future? She sighed and started looking for Louis; she kept losing him. Speaking of Louis... he was being a very good boy and he was surprisingly easy to handle. Poppy, who often came to see him, or baby sit, or whatever, kept saying he was abnormally good. He always did what he was told. If she asked him to go play, he did that, if she asked him to go to sleep, he did that. She wasn't complaining, though.

She and Severus were on very friendly terms again, although no one else would notice that. Severus as a friend was pretty much the same as Severus as someone you hardly knew. But comfortable silences had replaced the uncomfortable ones, and that was good enough for her. Although she did catch him staring at her sometimes. He always claimed he had just been staring into oblivion and she had been in the way. She thought that was funny.

"Severus... where's Louis?" She asked, giving up the search. Severus seemed to always know where Louis was, anyway.

"Poppy's cooing over him again. I think Minerva joined her. Honestly, why do women start acting like idiots around babies?" Severus complained sourly, more to himself than to her. She was used to his whining by now, and felt he was a bit of a hypocrite for accusing her of whining, when he did nothing else all day. Well, maybe not. Anyway, she wanted to know where her baby was at all times, and it was difficult in a castle like Hogwarts. How Severus managed it was beyond her.

"How do you always know where Louis is?" She asked distractedly, trying not to seem too interested.

He glared at her for a moment before telling her he didn't always know where Louis was.

"Whatever." She sighed and plopped herself down on his sofa, which she had grown increasingly familiar to. Even if she did have her old room back, with all her stuff, (her dress was fine, thank God) but Louis seemed to be very fond of the makeshift cradle Severus had made for him. He wouldn't sleep peacefully anywhere else. So, as she was supposed to sleep in the same room as her son, according to some book, so she stayed on the sofa. It was giving her back hell, but she didn't really think much of the pain after childbirth and all that stuff.

An owl flew in and dropped a piece of parchment at her feet. The owl then flew off immediately. She watched it go and then bent to pick the parchment up. 

_I was just informed of what the huge plot the Dark Lord's been planning for a month is._

_He's going to attack Hogwarts, at the End of Year feast._

_D.  _

She didn't really understand it properly, and she figured it was for Severus, as she wasn't magical. Or something... 

"Severus." She spoke loudly, hoping he'd hear her. He sometimes went deaf when he entered his potions lab and became engrossed with some potion or other. Completely annoying.

"Don't say more if there's no blood involved." A snappish voice answered in annoyance. 

"No blood yet, but it has the 'Dark Lord' in it..." She replied in a similar tone.

"What?" She could hear his footsteps approaching fast, it was unlike him to walk that loudly she noted and felt weird hearing him walk.

He appeared in front of her suddenly and ripped the parchment out of her unsuspecting hands faster than a Falcon in full dive. 

"Merlin's beard!" He then exclaimed and hurried out the door, no explanation. No nothing. She sat down on the sofa and pouted. He never told her anything! Why did he keep treating her like a child? She was an adult; she was a mother! Right. Louis. Better go save him from Poppy and Minerva...

She walked along the corridors, thinking about the past month. People had been rather surprised to see her alive at first, but now they were all right with it. She was staying at Hogwarts as she had no other place to stay, but she wasn't working because she had to take care of Louis. Money wasn't a problem. She still had that fortune she had inherited from Damien. Damien... -how she had loved him; a sick sort of twisted love. But love all the same. She closed her eyes and saw his face in front of her. He looked sad. A pang of regret passed through the pieces that were here heart. 

"I don't know... it's unnatural, Minerva, children aren't supposed to be this meek and obedient. It's wrong." It was Poppy's voice; it came through the heavy old door as if she were speaking under water. A tingling sensation passed through her when she caught wind of the atmosphere that surrounded the room. This necklace was really awesome... How did she not feel this before? She shook her head at her own ignorance and self involvement and pressed her ear up to the heavy wooden door, hoping to hear some more of the conversation taking place within the confines of the room.

"Well, look at the mother, meek as I don't know what, no will of her own. And I suspect Severus is the father, despite what Albus has been trying to stuff down out throats. I went to get Severus for a staff meeting, and Christine answered the door" Minerva paused and she allowed a couple of angry thoughts to pass through her head before the Deputy Headmistress continued with her gossip. "Wearing Severus's shirt... nothing else. She fed me some nonsense about falling asleep the previous evening and having been about to have a shower. It was a better story than her usual ones, and she said it without stuttering or faltering once. It was almost as if someone were speaking through her." She rolled her eyes at the two witches who had nothing better to do with their time, but gossip about her. Her! Of all people...

"Do you really think Severus is the father?" Poppy's voice asked with interest and awe. She rolled her eyes again.

"Well, the boy's got black hair, that man... Damien, he had sandy colored hair." Minerva stated, as if it were foolproof evidence. 

"I never did get to see that Damien person, what did he look like?" Poppy asked excitedly, and she started feeling numb, standing in a bent position for that long, she relocated to a standing position, wishing she weren't so curious.

"Oh... he was very handsome, but there was something sinister... almost sadistic about him. It sent chills down my spine. And Christine herself, as a Vampire. -She was dangerously beautiful looking. Severus had stars in his eyes." Both witches giggled and she rolled her eyes once more.

"I wish I had been there..." Poppy admitted wistfully. She decided this was a good time to enter the room.

"You wish to have been where?" She asked as she entered, satisfied at their surprised and maybe a bit hostile expressions.

"Oh, nowhere." Poppy said and sniffed. "I presume you came to collect your son." She than added, directing the conversation to a different direction.

"I think I'll stay here and chat a bit first. Now, you were gossiping about my private affairs and me. Don't let me stop you, I find it rather amusing, to tell you the truth." She felt good; she hadn't had an outlet like this since Sirius came by the last time. She smiled viciously at their awkward manner.

"We were just kidding, it's all in good humor... right, Minerva?" Poppy muttered and stared at her lap.

"Of course." Minerva replied shortly." There was an uncomfortable silence, which she enjoyed quite a bit.

"So, Gryffindor not in the lead anymore, eh?" Poppy finally asked, directing the question towards a very stern-looking Minerva. Minerva frowned a bit before muttering something like: 'it'll be fine' 

"What is the big deal about the points?" She blurted out, never really trusting herself to ask Severus. Both witches stared at her as if she were a two-headed alien. 

"I mean, are the kids going to use the fact that they won the house cup in seventh year in the future? Will it make it any easier for them to get jobs?" She looked at them, trying her best to look serious and questioning at the same time.

"Well..." Minerva started, but she was cut off by Poppy starting to talk about what wonderful Quidditch weather there was. She shook her head, resigning to the fate of never knowing what the deal with the points was. 

Finally, Minerva seemed she couldn't contain her questions any longer. Minerva stared into her gray eyes and cleared her throat.

"So, is Severus Louis' father?" She asked, very nearly looking as if she were holding her breath.

"I don't know. I can't remember." She told them truthfully enough. "But I suspect that's about right. Damien was dead, so he's not a possibility... but I just don't remember." She confessed, feeling strangely lighter after she'd gotten the weight off her chest. The two witch's eyes were round as saucers and Minerva's mouth was hanging agape.

"I knew it! I was right!" She finally hissed happily. She smirked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Severus is going to kill me." She then told them and shook her head. "I told him, but he seems to have decided not to believe, -but not to not believe. Confusing, I know... I still don't get it." She sighed and Poppy conjured some tea for the Muggle girl.

"We won't tell anyway, after all you don't know if it's true." Poppy then said in a comforting way. She smiled at the nurse and received a warm grin back. Minerva remained stern looking. She wondered if Minerva had any other facial expression. She finished her tea and was surprised when she saw the distinct shape of a dog in the remains of the brown liquid. When she told the other two, Minerva let out a small disapproving noise.

She, herself, thought nothing of the dog in her cup.

*

The last week of the school year passed with a horrible silence and horrible tension. Everyone seemed to be trying to walk quietly; everyone spoke in whispers. And every remaining student had fear in his/her eyes. And the rumors... the terrible rumors. About 'You Know Who'. She closed her ears, she closed her eyes, and she tried not to be so aware of all this. Most people would think her ignorant and stupid. But a few wise would see that closing oneself off was the only way to breathe normally. 

It was the day of the End of Year Feast. If you closed your eyes and really listened you'd hear a thousand hearts beating in the same horrible rhythm. Fear, despair. Horror. But with some exceptions... a few Slytherins walked around with insane grins plastered onto their faces. But no one knew whether the smiles showed true feelings... or pretense.   

The day passed extremely slowly and she felt that the hands of time had completely stopped turning. She knew something would happen tonight. The teachers had been preparing. Albus had been talking to Harry Potter so frequently that rumors about distant relations had started flying around the school. So far Albus had been Harry's long lost grandfather, his great uncle, his father's twin who had traveled through time... she would have giggled if the atmosphere had not been so morbid.

"Severus, what's going to happen?" She asked timidly. Severus had been pacing around the room for the past fifteen minutes and looked deeply sunken into thought.

"Christine, please shut up, I'm trying to think." He snapped at her meanly. She felt hurt, like she always did when he snapped at her, but she could feel regret in the air, so she had something like an apology coming.

"I don't know what will happen." He said, his tone softer, and she knew that was the closest she'd get to an apology. 

"I'm scared." She admitted, looking at him with her best expression of fear and tearfulness. He glared at her, seeing through the act, which she dropped and glared back at him.

"Well, I am." She insisted and thought of poor Louis, too young to understand what was going on, but old enough to understand something was indeed happening.

"Everyone is." He snapped irritably rubbing his face with his hands. She stood up and walked right up to him, she wondered if he'd push her away. He didn't. They shared a brief embrace, which was ended suddenly by Severus and his leaving and slamming the door behind him, making her flinch. She felt calmer somehow. Prepared... but she didn't know for what she was prepared. 

*

She hadn't gone up for the feast, as Severus had strictly forbidden her to go. He told her it was definitely not safe for her. She had very good food with her and was sitting quietly in front of the fireplace, watching the flames lick the wood lazily. Her heart was pounding and she was painfully aware of the lack of noise coming from the Great Hall. It was much more terrifying than screams. At least with screams you know what's going on. For now she was doomed to sit and wait, wait for the bomb to drop. 

Suddenly Louis did something odd. He crawled towards the door and put both his palm flat up against it. She went to pick him up and before she did there was a sharp knock at the door. Her insides froze. No one was supposed to come here. Severus had said so. But maybe it was just a house elf. She opened the door slowly, only to meet the empty corridor. She closed the door and turned around. What she saw made her scream.

Lysander stood there, not just his image, his real self. He looked around twenty or thirty, but his eyes, black pits of wisdom and age, proved that looks weren't everything. He was holding Louis in his arms, and Louis seemed perfectly content. He was sleeping, in fact. Looking very happy, with a small smile on his tiny little lips.

"Hello Triss, I've come to take what's mine." Lysander told her honestly, with a silky voice that melted her insides and her knees. She slid to the ground and became completely still. This was not happening to her. This couldn't be happening to her. Why was this happening to her? 

"You own nothing here." She told him, her voice shaking and weak. Barely audible, but she knew from experience that her words would sound like screams to his ears.

"But I do. You refuse to return to me, and if you refuse to return to me I have no way of resurrecting my dear Damien. So I will take this son of yours as my next heir. I must pass on the Dark Gift through my family. Louis Dupre... Soul... perdu. Lost Soul." Lysander spoke the first part of the sentence to her, but the rest of it was more of a mutter to himself. 

"You're taking Louis?" She asked, suddenly feeling very free of emotion. She felt faint and as if the world wasn't real around her. Her little baby... he wanted to take it? Take her little Louis... how cruel. 

"Yes, I've allowed you to keep him for a while. Allowed him to be around his real father. I am no monster, you see. I just want the best for the little boy. I don't want him to go through what poor Tom went through. This time, I'm raising him myself. This time I will influence him from birth... this time, I will not fail." Lysander had that insane glint in his eyes and his head went slack for a moment before jerking up again. She thought nothing of it, feeling rather used to it. It only meant he was doing magic for someone far away. She knew that much.

"I'm afraid I don't understand... who is Tom? Has this happened before?" She asked, feeling bewildered. What was going on now?

"There was a little girl... she came to me when her heart had been broken. I promised her eternal life and beauty in exchange for the son she carried. She said yes, but changed her mind later. You see, a Muggle man she loved, and had loved her, until she told him she was a witch, had broken her heart. At first she craved vengeance, but she couldn't go through with it, she still loved the Muggle. After she gave birth, I killed her and placed the child in an orphanage where he'd be safe until he got his Hogwarts letter. I sent him subtle letters, letting him know of who he was, who his ancestor was, what he was destined to do. He did as I told him... was my loyal son, but only at first." Lysander paused to breathe, and perhaps check if she was following. She wasn't. He continued anyway.

"He came up with his own goals and started chasing his own dreams. I lost track of him. But one day, he came back, demanding to know the secrets of immortality. He was deformed, wretched, an excuse for a human being. I told him all I knew, thinking it was the best way to gain his trust, to gain some sort of power over him again. But he betrayed me and set off again, foolishly trying to take over the world, or something like that, and at the same time, his main goal was to gain immortality. And he did... he did. But he lost it. And now I'm counting on Albus... the old fool and young Mister Potter, to dispose of that failed experiment for me." He smiled insanely, and rather sadistically, "But never fear, I have my new lab rat right here... and this one will bend to my will without question." He stroked Louis' hair calmly and looked at her, as if daring her to threaten him, to question him.

"How do you know he will do that?" She finally asked, looking at him in wonder. She still hadn't fully registered the fact that he was taking her son away from her. For good. But maybe that was just as well. Who knows how she might have reacted if she had the chance?

"How, indeed. My dear Triss." He sighed and looked at the boy in his hands. "One of my children injected a serum into this boy's blood. There is no antidote, and no way back. It has the tiniest hint of the Imperius in it, but mostly it makes his brain accept information readily" She cut him off before he could continue to what he had been about to say.

"You turned my baby's brain into a sponge?" Her voice was completely void of emotion, and sounded rather impersonal. Her heart seemed to have slowed down, but her ears suddenly registered all the noise that was coming from the Great Hall. There was screaming, shouts of words that definitely weren't English and an insane sounding cackle...

"As I was saying..." Lysander began frostily, pointedly ignoring her comment. "The serum also has a side affect, in precisely eighteen years from the serum being injected to the person's system, he will turn into a Vampire, the pain will be stretched over all those years and the body slowly transform into one of a Vampire. But the need for blood will be there, and that's why I'll be taking some of yours with me tonight." He smiled his wolfish grin and it made her shudder, she watched disinterested as he did some spell that slowly began to fill a plastic bag with her blood, she saw her skin turning even paler than usual. But just before she thought she would faint, it stopped. She sat on the floor, not able to move. 

But a question occurred to her suddenly. Did Lysander know who Louis' father was? She decided to ask. And so she did. Lysander smiled at her again, making her shudder all over again.

"Well, I was going to let you and Severus develop the relationship the normal way, I don't like getting involved in people's personal lives, but you were taking rather long, and my patience ran out. So a few spells here and there... made your hormones go mad and your minds a tad befuddled, and afterwards, you wouldn't remember a thing. Genius, if I do say so myself." The smug look on his face made her want to punch him. But she felt lifting her arm up would be too much for her to handle. 

"Well, I feel this is the time for me to leave. Thank you for the heir, and the second chance." His eyes bored into hers and the black/purple haze started appearing in front of her very eyes.

"Wait... what is it that you want? Do you want to take over the world?" She asked, feeling sort of silly and was suddenly reminded of a cartoon about two lab rats that kept trying to take over the world and fail.

"That's for me to know, and for you to never find out." His voice sounded far away and distant and the sphere of purple and black was complete around her son and the Vampire. She watched as the sphere faded again and then it disappeared, leaving everything the way it was before Lysander's arrival, except one human was missing from the room. Her little Louis. 

*

She woke up to a high-pitched scream that sounded so unreal... so unearthly that she thought it had to be the sound of an alien. But then she really woke up and realized something horrible had happened. Lysander had taken her child! Her son! Her son that was also Severus' son! She had to find Severus and tell him. Screw staying where he had told her to stay. She had to tell someone. The emotion she had missed before came flooding through her body, making her weep in pain, misery and sorrow.

She stumbled through the corridors and had nearly reached the Entrance Hall when a figure cloaked in black and masked in white stumbled across her. All she could see were wild gray eyes before she heard the words: "Avada Kedavra!" And her world went black.

Epilogue 

_            Severus stumbled over variously injured and dead bodies lying around the Entrance Hall. Only one thought was in his mind. Voldemort was gone. They were free! He quite possibly had a son who had a future ahead of him, free of Voldemort's shadow. And he could have Christine. If he wanted. He was oblivious to the sounds around him, some shouts of victory, some cries of mourning. He didn't care; he wanted to see Louis. He wanted to see if he was all right. He nearly fell as he stumbled over a body in the way of the passage from the Entrance Hall to the dungeons. He looked down and his mind froze. _

_No._

_This couldn't be. He had told her to stay in his chambers. Why hadn't she listened? Please... Not her, not like this. Where was Louis? He looked around calmly, making sure no one was paying attention to his actions and then he charmed her body to follow him. The walk to his chambers had never seemed as long. There were no people in the dungeon corridor. And if there had been, he wouldn't have seen them. All he could see was Louis. He wouldn't be able to bare it of he were gone. _

_Finally._

_The door to his chambers was in sight. It was ajar and the flickering of firelight painted the decaying wooden door violently red and orange. _

_He put her body down on the sofa and looked around. He called Louis' name… but to no avail. His son simply wasn't there. He closed his eyes and wondered what this burning sensation in his eyes could be. Surely… he wasn't weeping? What did it matter? He hadn't deserved the chance anyway. But he couldn't help thinking, 'I'm the one who should be dead.' _

_"I should be dead." He said aloud. Looking at her cold body, it would never be warm again. It would never move again. He would never get to hold her again. _

_No matter._

_He hadn't loved her anyway. _

_A single tear escaped from the corner of his eye. Bewildering the skin of his cheeks, for they had not tasted salty water for a long time. _

_"I didn't love you anyway." He repeated out loud. He had never spoken such a lie._

**Author note: Okay, don't yell at me for the ending. Please. I like it, if you think Severus was out of character, blame Mephisto... she's the one who though he should cry. Anyway, thank you so much! Everyone who's supported me through this fic. I couldn't have done it without you!******

**Mephy speaking: I don't want it to be over. *sniff* **


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